PYF Funny Pictures: A shocking amount of blood ensued

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Funny Pictures: A shocking amount of blood ensued

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Android Apocalypse posted:

No, you really don't need to do this just cause someone told you to. This is sub-Loss-edit funny.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2017 22:48

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 17:39

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Deteriorata posted:

I once put this "extra credit" question at the end of a chemistry test:

"If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take for a mosquito with a wooden leg to kick a hole through a cucumber?"

At least 1/3 of the class was furious at me because they couldn't figure it out.

From a couple of pages ago, but I'm totally putting a (less absurdist) version of this question on my test on Friday.

"If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long will it take to make 23 two-and-a-half egg omelets for 11.5 people if cheese is the limiting factor?"

Suggestions for improvement would be appreciated. The more it can be turned into a logical argument based on reason and mathematics, the better. They should need to write a full essay (or a great quip) to win the prize. My kids are a mix of high-average and top level high school students, by the way.

So far I see several arguments that need to be introduced and accounted for, most of which won't occur to my students even though they are "advanced":

- You can't assume you only have 1.5 chickens.
- How many chickens do you have? You must round down to the nearest chicken.
- The egg and a half thing must be factored in to your calculations.
- The mean egg-laying time should be calculated.
- Discussion of probability given the mean egg-laying time and how that must be accounted for given the fact that those 23 omelets must be made.
- Discussion of how to make a single "two-and-a-half egg omelet" when given an even number of eggs.
- Discussion of the notion of 0.5 people (need at least 24 eggs, or it could be a young child, an unborn baby, or... racist things)
- Discussion of the amount of cheese available and how much will be used in each omelet and how that can constrain the answer.
- Creation of an equation that would account for all of these mathematical factors.

And more stuff that I haven't thought of yet.

(It will be labeled as a non-credit question, but I'll give candy (or a non-academic, reasonable reward of their choice) for "correct" answers, i.e. the question that I find most hilarious/well thought out.)

edit: I think I need to include a notice that says something like, "This questions is not crazy and unanswerable. It can be answered."

Malachi Constant has a new favorite as of 04:25 on Oct 12, 2017

# ¿ Oct 12, 2017 04:23

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Captain Splendid posted:

I'm a simple person. Is this not a meme? cause it's the first thing that's made me laugh in a while.

I am a grown-up adult human.

# ¿ Dec 1, 2017 05:22

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

steinrokkan posted:

Get a dairy cow and see how happy it gets when her udders swell and become painful after not milking her.

Come to Nursie Cow!

# ¿ Dec 27, 2017 01:09

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Farmdizzle posted:

Well, this needs to be a picture now.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 01:09

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

TVs Ian posted:

So this just turned up in an Amazon search for some reason:

Which led to looking at the other, similar items from that vendor.

Another case of an algorithm gone nuts, I guess.

They've got the market locked down. I'm not sure what market it is, but they've got it locked down.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2018 22:29

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Turtlicious posted:

what was it like before the internet?

I tried to find a gif that showed what downloading a single porn image from a BBS over Zmodem looked like, but I just got regular porn gifs.

You would literally see one horizontal line of pixels appear... wait for it... wait for it... a second line of pixels would appear... wait for it... (etc)

Eventually it'd get to the top of her head (looks like she's a brunette, let's see what the next line of pixels shows), eventually her face would be revealed... then you'd lose connection right when it finished downloading her shoulders. But! This BBS had Zmodem, so you could resume your download instead of starting the whole process over again! Then you'd get the rest of her shoulders and some cleavage... then your mom would pick up the phone to make a call and you'd lose connection and by the time you could reconnect Zmodem wouldn't resume the download, so you'd start over again.

Good times.

Fake edit: It was something like this, but 10 times slower:

# ¿ Apr 7, 2018 04:13

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Nuebot posted:

So I've got a funny picture white whale from one of the funny pictures threads of old; it was some tiny bathroom with like three different signs begging people not to throw "poo poo napkins" in the trash bin, yet the trash bin is over flowing with them. Please tell me I didn't just imagine this funny picture, goons.

You can always check in the request images thread:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1903899

# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 23:56

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

spog posted:

and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45bUOIK2cAo

# ¿ Apr 26, 2018 00:52

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Karate Bastard posted:

This is fantastic.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2018 05:57

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Goodpancakes posted:

How about two puppies, owls or Melons

# ¿ Nov 24, 2018 19:18

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Gripweed posted:

There are more Skyrim games than non-Skyrim Elder Scrolls games, so yeah the series is called Skyrim

So what's the next game gonna be called then?

:smugbert:

# ¿ Apr 7, 2019 23:40

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

zoux posted:

uhhhh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw&t=80s

# ¿ Jun 7, 2019 21:17

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

hooah posted:

Care to explain it to me, then? Should I recognize those two guys?

No, but you should recognize what they rep.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2019 02:27

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

hooah posted:

Hmm. Maybe the tile place looks vaguely familiar.

say it. what to they rep?

# ¿ Jul 1, 2019 02:33

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Solice Kirsk posted:

Damnit, just answer the goddamned question! How young does the boy's blood have to be to perfectly replicate a chicken egg?!

You in a hurry, or something?

# ¿ Jul 20, 2019 00:25

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Gripweed posted:

The fact that there isn't at least one goth blog about cooking with human blood is proof that the world sucks

# ¿ Jul 20, 2019 02:04

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Gripweed posted:

Blood and cum are different things. I shouldn't need to keep explaining this

wait, what!?

# ¿ Jul 20, 2019 02:23

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

The joke is Miles has superpowers Peter doesn't, like turning invisible, so that's what you expect the article to be about. Instead, the first item is "Hey Miles can hug his parents. Can you hug your parents Peter? Oh they're dead? Well score one for Miles"

# ¿ Jul 20, 2019 17:11

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

IncredibleIgloo posted:

Oh, that makes sense. New Spiderman is only new in the sense that he was a more recently introduced comic book character, correct? Not the new Spiderman in the latest spiderman movie, right?

Well... Marvel had a series of comic books that took place in a parallel universe. It sort of rebooted all the characters and started from scratch, so new readers didn't need to know 50 years of backstory to get into comics. In that universe Peter Parker died, and Miles Morales took up the mantle of Spider-Man. Then that series ended and they kind of folded him into the main universe.

But yeah, watch Into the Spider-verse. It's an animated superhero movie, but it really is very good just for its own sake.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2019 17:23

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 17:39

Malachi Constant: Feb 2, 2006; I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all

Gripweed posted:

That was such a baffling decision. They saw that their mainline universe had become a bit bloated. Too much history, too many titles, too many crossovers, it was intimidating to new readers. So they'd make a new universe with more basic versions of the beloved characters, where people could jump in without fear of missing out. Fair enough, setting aside the issue that creating a second universe running parallel to the first could just create more confusion instead of less, I understand the impulse.

But, they also decided that all of the new titles in the new universe should have ongoing plots. So in the new universe, Ultimate Spider-Man 36 actually expects you to have read Ultimate Spider-Man 21 way more than regular old Spider-Man 436 expects you to have read Spider-Man 421. Sure, there are fewer issues so it's easier to start from number 1, but it gets harder literally every month. And they also crossover with each other, and have crossover events that change everything, so in the span of like 5 years their second universe was just as complex and laden with history as their first universe!

Well, that seems kind of inevitable unless you just want every comic to be standalone. I don't know much about the business decisions, but maybe it was always meant to be a one-time reboot to pull in new readers. It was a really great decision to create it, though. A lot of the Marvel movies pulled from those comics for their modern-day origin stories and other elements. Thor being treated like a crazy person when he first gets to Earth, I think Cap getting frozen instead of just living until today, a bunch of stuff was taken from those books.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2019 17:57

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Funny Pictures: A shocking amount of blood ensued