MLS 2017: I'm gonna git you, soccer

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > MLS 2017: I'm gonna git you, soccer

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Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Seltzer posted:

So NYCFC fans got arrested for attempting to steal seats from the Orlando stadium and assaulting an officer.

Not just garden-variety assault either: multiple people punching an officer and IIRC kicking him while he was prone on the ground.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2017 20:45

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 08:02

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Shrapnig posted:

If he thought he put his best 11 out to start why would he think his subs would be any better? His backup keeper made zero saves and conceded a goal.

Heath is not a good manager, but as far as I'm concerned if your starting eleven lays that big of an egg in their team's first top-flight game - with a big weather advantage on top of it - then all eleven deserve to stay out there for the entire game so they can get the full-scale humiliation.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2017 04:52

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Apparently Bruce McGuire (DuNord) has spent some of tonight's game in Colorado specifically taking pictures of fans yelling PUTO for...identification purposes?

Ummmm...okay

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 03:09

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Shrapnig posted:

gently caress that guy and gently caress this league for letting him do it.

IIRC he became real full of himself once his blog got popular and he can be kind of a dick in person depending on the mood he's in, from what I've been told.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Mar 19, 2017

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 03:19

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

trem_two posted:

In related news, Atlanta United have now made yelling "Hey Ya" during goal kicks an "official chant" to try and counter the puto chants.

Considering where OutKast is from this is okay.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 03:44

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

HOLY SHITNUTS THE MINNESOTA LOONIES DIDN'T GET THEIR ASSES WHOOPED

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 04:06

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Shrapnig posted:

Congrats on your first of several points this season.

I think Heath has a big problem on his hands. He signed Demidov to be the captain and the leader of his defense, but it's clear that the guy is just too slow to deal with the more physical attackers MLS likes, given the way he had his rear end handed to him repeatedly over the first two games. Demidov was benched tonight, and the defense looked quite a bit better. They did allow two goals, but one of those was due to a comedy backpass attempt by Schuller.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 04:18

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Jack2142 posted:

I like how 2 of their three "big" money signings are some of the worst players on the team.

Yeah. Schuller was crap and got subbed out at halftime too.

Funny thing is that their best player has been one of the guys who came up with them from the NASL: Christian Ramirez.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 04:21

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Gigi Galli posted:

I think it may be time to take old Jay out back.

That would require Ol' Bob Kraft to actually care enough about the team to realize that it sucks.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 07:23

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Atlanta had 82.9% of the possession in the win over Chicago :stare:

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 09:48

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Jai Guru Dave posted:

Just want to un-endorse this. Bruce is awesome.

I feel like he might somehow read this and have his feelings hurt unjustly

So I'm taking matters into my own hands

Apart from whether Mt. Puto is a hill anybody seriously wants to die on, because who does that chant help? Why, no one

The whole Puto thing is dumb. What is dumber than that? Taking the time to take pictures of people saying it and then posting them to Twitter while the game is still going on.

Like...you are taking time out of a game you paid money to go to in order to get on your phone so you can Tweet pictures of people saying a dumb thing.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2017 17:19

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Tigren posted:

It's totally mind boggling that Adrian Heath and Ben Olsen continue to be head coaches for MLS teams, but Mike Petke is stuck with Real Monarchs.

Because it turns out sports is not the meritocracy people make it out to be.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2017 02:00

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

whypick1 posted:

https://twitter.com/PCarrESPN/status/845771147790700545

There's been one constant in those three games where they allowed 4+ goals: Demidov starting at CB.

In the one game he didn't play? Two goals allowed, one of which was the dreaded "everyone loses concentration right after scoring" thing that can happen to anybody.

BUT HE'S A EUROPEAN HE MUST BE GOOD! Brian Kallman, who was a backup in the NASL for three and a half years until becoming a regular starter for Minnesota sometime during 2016, has been better than him.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Mar 27, 2017

# ¿ Mar 27, 2017 02:54

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Jack2142 posted:

Demidov is hilariously bad and is a strong example of Minnesota having no loving clue what their doing and I honestly look forward to their tire fire DP signings, its too bad they weren't in the league last year probably could have sent them Valdez.

Nah Minnesota has a clue as far as the domestic or from-elsewhere-in-MLS players go - the NASL players they brought up have been fine for the most part. Molino has done some good things. Venegas has done some good things. Saeid and Warner have been effective in spurts. It's just that their imports have all been useless or just about useless. Alvbage? Terrible before he got his knee gash. Demidov? Single-handedly responsible for about five goals against over the first two games. Schuller? Crap all year so far and was subbed out at halftime last weekend. Kadrii? Had one decent game but was worthless and subbed out at halftime yesterday. Calvo? Part of that great 1-2 center back punch with Demidov.

To be fair, in Calvo's case he was playing as a left back in Costa Rica and had scored about 15 goals over the last two years. That's the one move that you can really blast them for. "Let's take a LB who's apparently pretty nifty in attack and shove him into the middle in a new league where the players are more physical and get away with more poo poo. Yes that will work great." That and still using him at CB when Davis was suspended and instead putting Jermaine Taylor at fullback oh my god

# ¿ Mar 27, 2017 09:29

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Jack2142 posted:

Thats sort of just confirming what I meant when I said they had no clue what they are doing from a talent acquisition perspective, the guys they had sitting in their laps as NASL dudes and random MLS journeymen like Warner are "ok" not good, but not the problem with the team.

Well I guess here's the important question: Who had the final say on signing the European imports? Was it Heath? Or was it former manager and current Director of Soccer Or Whatever You Call it Manny Lagos? Did they decide on those together?

I wouldn't go so far as to say that they don't have a clue what they are doing from a talent acquisition perspective, because the portion of the roster that consists of players who've been based in the US is probably about where the quality should be. In a league where there is basically no Free Agency except for under limited circumstances, the best a first-year team is going to get is unwanted castoffs from other teams and then some of their own players when they make the jump up. That and trades that involve more than just straight-up cash. Of course, that's going to leave them talent-deficient.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Mar 28, 2017

# ¿ Mar 28, 2017 03:35

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Has any player had a smoother transition from US lower-tier soccer to MLS than Christian Ramirez? He is white-hot right now

# ¿ Apr 2, 2017 02:31

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Dallan Invictus posted:

I mean, they can get back on the list if they actually stump up an extra $60m for their own drat stadium, no?

I believe the commissioner, who is a fuckass, explicitly said in a presser, "No public funding, no accepted bid". Like...the group putting up all the money for the stadium themselves isn't good enough because it would set a precedent and we can't have that!

# ¿ Apr 8, 2017 06:31

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

trem_two posted:

https://twitter.com/TheTorontoSun/status/852500387328348162
Lol

I'm pretty sure it was more the caption than the actual picture that led to the suspension.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2017 14:23

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Shrapnig posted:

I must have missed where the Chargers are playing this season in a stadium smaller than almost every major Division 1 college football team.

Alex Spanos is a loving idiot who is so desperate to be in the LOS ANGELES MEDIA MARKETPLACE!!!!!!!! that he literally decided that playing NFL games in an MLS stadium for one or even two years with no other venue ready or available, rather than stay in San Diego, would be okay.

Because you know the NFL is such a traditionally big draw in L.A.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2017 07:25

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

whypick1 posted:

LA: WE WANT THE RAIDERS
NFL: gently caress you, you get the Rams and Chargers

And based on the last big fan survey done the Chargers literally have less market penetration in L.A. than bandwagon teams like the Cowboys and Patriots, or even other big-market teams like the Giants.

I can't wait for the Chargers to be inexplicably good and you have the AFC Championship Game at the home of the Los Angeles loving Galaxy. And it doesn't sell out.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2017 07:35

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Salary info for Minnesota came out today. Don't know about the rest of the league.

The punchline: Vadim Demidov is making $550,000

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 21:12

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Piatti's contract is the best deal in the league.

Also Giovinco might be underpaid imo

Again holy lol that Minnesota has a center back who's way better than another defender making nine times as much money as him.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2017 02:31

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

The Rowdies stadium vote in St. Petersburg passed by something like an 88/12 margin, so we can probably pencil them in for an MLS slot unless the owners decide that Bill Edwards is just too litigious to run a team in MLS.

# ¿ May 3, 2017 08:48

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

whypick1 posted:

Remember how the Chargers were only going to be squatting in Galaxy's stadium for 2 years?

https://twitter.com/LATimesfarmer/status/865251929483427841

...whoops

Holy

# ¿ May 18, 2017 18:28

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

whypick1 posted:

And the next axe has fallen

https://twitter.com/SJEarthquakes/status/879082985080868864

And still Ben Olsen stands tall and proud, like the mightiest Redwood tree.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2017 23:19

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Not MLS but hey it's US soccer related...

Apparently some crazy fucker made the 27-hour drive from Indianapolis just so he can see Indy Eleven play in Edmonton. Surely there's more efficient ways to see your favorite futboal team

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 07:01

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Your Boy Fancy posted:

Oh word, is that all

Seeing the continent from a car is one of the most fun things in the world, and everyone who believes otherwise either hasn't done it or had a terrible road trip partner.

I've done Minneapolis to Boston via I94-I80 et. al, and then back through Vermont, Quebec, Ontario, and Windsor on through Michigan and as much I don't think I'd ever be capable of doing that again myself, it was a hell of a lot of fun.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 09:37

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

My only significant quibble with that article is that the author makes it seem like threatening cities with demands for money for new stadiums is rather unique to MLS, when it's a cancer affecting every major sports league. And considering it's Neil De Mause, he should know better.

Hell, the Diamondbacks in Major League Baseball just tried to sue the local county for tens of millions of dollars, claiming that one burst water pipe meant that total stadium renovations would have to be done, or else the team would have to cancel the lease and move.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2017 23:26

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Moktaro posted:

Get this: the Rapids had Inter Milan's colors for a season or two.

I suppose if you want truly unique color schemes we could always go back to the 1996-style uniforms.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2017 09:30

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

binge crotching posted:

And why the gently caress are the conference finals being played on a Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday?

Because the league is so desperate to be on national TV that they'll take whatever time slot a network will give them.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 01:57

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

camoseven posted:

DCU have won three games in a row, and all were shutouts. What the gently caress.

Minnesota just won at Chicago, who entered the game 10-2-1 at home on the year.

lol

# ¿ Aug 27, 2017 03:37

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

NASL isn't dead. It's just the same bullshit we went through last fall/winter while waiting until literally January of this year for the USSF to decide which leagues got be what for 2017. Last year, it ended up that the NASL and USL had put in for D2 sanctioning, both got denied, and then after weeks of "consultations" and legal threats and discussing whatever else, both ended up as "provisional D2".

The difference this time is that the original decision was made public by a reporter right after it happened. A few hours later, it came out that the USSF is giving the NASL at least two weeks to work with them and re-submit a bid, which is very similar to the track that everything went on last year.

Basically the way the USSF governs the sport in this country is a farce.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 04:36 on Sep 6, 2017

# ¿ Sep 6, 2017 04:32

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Dallan Invictus posted:

Are you even surprised by this genre, given the cast of characters at that level?

The USSF wants stability in the lower leagues (really they want stability period), but they also don't want to be the bad guy and just pull the trigger on either of them (especially since D2 sanctioning is currently the deadman switch on the NASL and its break fees), so they'll give the lower leagues endless chances to get their poo poo together and always be trying to hammer out compromise solutions, but at the end of the day one league is on track to meet the standards (IIRC, if they shoved the MLS2 teams down to a D3 they would meet them already?) and one is barely treading water let alone making progress.

If the USSF really wanted stability, it would just run D2 and D3, and let teams come and go based on some combination of performance and economic standards. Instead, we have the USL and the NASL at each other's throats for seven years and counts, and this poo poo runs down to the amateur leagues where the USL-run PDL has been offering cash for teams to switch over from the NPSL, and in some cases the other way around.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2017 17:58

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

wicka posted:

If only there was a way to do this...

I wasn't thinking straight promotion and relegation, but back when the USL was the only lower-tier setup they let teams voluntarily switch back and forth between their D2 league and their D3 league based on what they felt was best for their finances, without having to go all the way from full-time professional to amateur level.

What we'll probably end up with is promotion and relegation in some form between the lower-tier league, but MLS never getting involved unless FIFA steps in.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 18:20 on Sep 6, 2017

# ¿ Sep 6, 2017 18:14

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Dallan Invictus posted:

Pretty much. I agree that the USSF should just run the lower leagues more-or-less permanently if the various children can't get along

You would think that after trying to do exactly this for no less than eight years with no success to show for it, they'd...you know...realize it's never going to happen unless either one cannibalizes the other or they both fail.

And then the USSF would be right back where it was in 2000-2005, when the USL acted like yearly "franchise fees" were a personal ATM for the senior officers and it started the chain of events that led us to where we are now.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2017 19:59

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Dallan Invictus posted:

If the USSF ran the lower pro league permanently, could it really avoid the question of how it should interact with MLS (which seems to be the main philosophical dispute of this mini-Soccer War)

The super ironic thing about this is that the whole reason why MLS partnered up with the USL was that - at the time - it appeared content to be a D3 lower-tier league, unlike the NASL. Now that the USL has D2 aspirations and a number of its club are complaining about having to travel to play MLS reserve teams in front of 500 people, the relationship between those is - if you'll believe rumors and reporting - souring rather quickly.

Dallan Invictus posted:

If I were Gulati I would try to leverage the USL into accepting any NASL teams that want to jump to the USL (even the Cosmos and Miami) - it's a lower-effort road to the same ending.

Here's the thing: Gulati tried to do that last winter, and USL President Jake Edwards basically responded with "LOL gently caress off" under the assumption that the USL was going to get D2 by itself. Then when it became clear that the NASL was actually going to survive thanks to the sale of the Cosmos, Edwards again responded by threatening the USSF with legal action if they didn't get what they wanted.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Sep 6, 2017

# ¿ Sep 6, 2017 22:07

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Shrapnig posted:

I don't get it.

This Grant Ruby guy appears to be a very serious person who thinks that the Twitter feed of a sports team should literally have to answer for things the team's players do during a game, in real time.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 17:35