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Who will be the champ come Sunday morning? This poll is closed. |
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| Woodley will retain with a victory |
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14 | 36.84% |
| Thompson will win |
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15 | 39.47% |
| Woodley will retain with yet another draw |
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9 | 23.68% |
| Total: | 38 votes | ||
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 Hey what’s up I guess I’m here to, uh, welcome you to the thread for fuckin UFC 209, bitch, 10 p.m. ET Saturday, March 4 on ppv, so don’t be postin no streams and poo poo or I’m gonna come over to your house and bitch slap you Cesar wants me to apologize on here for running away from my niece’s birthday party when bluedeanie came to invite me to write this and makin this poo poo late and whatever but you know what? gently caress that, homie. I ain’t paid to write GDTs for you online nerds, ok? I’m paid to fight, which, you, this, that’s is why I don’t do it anymore, ain’t no one taught me how to do this poo poo, no one does me any favors, but just cuz I ain’t fighting right now doesn’t mean I don’t work hard and I’m not doing my poo poo ok. I’m a professional now, I made it. I’m big time now. I got my own brand of Energy Weed and poo poo, ok? I don’t need the UFC, so if they aren’t gonna give me the fight for the belt like anyone else who hasn’t won since they fought BJ Penn in 2011 then gently caress that. But I know what’s up, so let’s look at the motherfuckers who are still out here fighting, you know what I’m saying, trying to hustle for Dana White. Sell you motherfuckers some wolf tickets. Wolf tickets.  For the welterweight title  Tyron Woodley (c) vs.  Stephen Wonderboy Thompson This is a rematch from the first time these guys fought and it was the fight of hte night and they had a draw, but I don’t go to draws know what I’m saying? Win or lose I’m out there to put on a show. Tyron Woodley uses that pussy rear end wrestling poo poo sometimes but other times he fights like my style I guess you could say, goes out there to fight you know? Like last fight he almost knocked him out and almost submitted him, but then other times like Carlo Conduit did he just goes backwards and don’t wanna fight, so I guess Woodley’s only cool sometimes but loses in Stockton Rules most other times. Stephen Thompson does all those fancy kicks, like motherfucker what are you trying to do? You got a wedgie you’re trying to get out in public, do you gotta, uh, make sure your rear end cheeks are spread out wide as you can have them? poo poo homie just pick it motherfucker, what are you doing like a kick then a little Dragonball flip for? Bullshit like that is why you’re losing fights and poo poo. Me and my homies Nate, Gil and Jake, we don’t need to stretch our asscheeks out with kicks, we’re just keepin’ it real pickin our underwear with our hands. You know what I’m saying? That’s what it’s like out here for us on the streets, people don’t get us nothin, we gotta pick our asses ourselves, none of this pampered rear end karate kicks poo poo. Not happening cuz they got scared, homie  Khabib Nurmagomedov vs. Tony El Cucuy Ferguson I guess that little Russian guy with all the WWE suplexes keeps doing them too hard because he can’t fight ever. Gotta go to the hospital and get that toxic airplane water out of his system and poo poo. That’s why I don’t drink airplane water, it’s got like, fuckin, uh, metabolytes and poo poo or whatever in it and you can’t cut weight, so I don’t drink it no matter how many little honey peanut packs I eat. And here he is talkin all poo poo about jiu jitsu saying if it were hard it’d be called sambo or whatever, motherfucker this poo poo ain’t easy. I gotta come out every day to train with Cesar Gracie and like, make eye contact with motherfuckers when I train, that poo poo ain’t easy motherfucker, and then when it’s all done and you fight in the UFC and are one of the biggest draws of all time, and then after your gym membership fees you only get enough to buy a couple dimebags and pay your entry fee to the Lodi Marathon, that poo poo ain’t easy motherfucker. Try that sambo poo poo in a street fight, see how far you get suplexin motherfuckers on concrete, bitch. Yo but gently caress Tony Ferguson. gently caress that motherfucker. I’m glad, he, uh, can’t fight, uh, gently caress him. He scared my niece. My sister, she went all the way through high school so she learned how to buy a house and poo poo so sometimes i go over and stay there, and her little daughter, growin up speakin spanish in Stockton, 209 motherfucker, she comes up to me and says Uncle Nick El Cucuy is under my bed and in my closet and poo poo, shoutin ‘WHERE YOUR DAD AT?’ What kind of hosed up poo poo is that to do to a little kid, man? Don’t be scary, homie. These guys got replaced by a couple strawweights, Amanda Cooper and Cynthia Calvillo. I don’t know poo poo about them but my homie Joanna, uh, I can’t say her last name but she’d kick their asses. Middleweight  Rashad Evans vs.  Dan Kelly My homie Rashad, he used to be the light heavyweight champion and people wasn’t respecting him, so he’s at middleweight now. Based on his record since 2013 I’d say he definitely deserves to be fighting for the title right now and it’s bullshit he isn’t, they’re, the commissions and poo poo they’re trying to keep the real technical motherfuckers out of the top, which is me basically, in my opinion, I got all that technique and poo poo and it’s what the fans want to see and it’s bullshit. Dan Kelly was an Olympic medal judo guy, which fucks me up, because that’s what Ronda Rousey was and she’s my homie, but that motherfucker Karo Parisyan is a judo guy too and he’s a bitch. Kind of like how wrestling is for bitches who just have an agenda, you know, they just wanna win fights on the judges and dont give a poo poo what the fans think, but despite that Jake Shields is my homie. I guess this poo poo is what Carl Jung was talking about when he discussed the duality of man or whatever, know what I’m saying, it’s, he, poo poo’s tight. Lightweight  Lando Vannata vs.  Teymur or some poo poo Lando whooped the poo poo out of Tony Ferguson, I gotta respect that poo poo, tried his best to make sure that Nosferatu lookin motherfucker wasn’t gonna lurk under more kids beds. Motherfucker couldn’t get that poo poo done on short notice but then he threw some spinning poo poo now, which normally is bullshit, but he knocked out that walleyed canadian motherfucker with it and that bitch owed me like $10 for some weed I spotted him at Patrick Cote’s birthday party a while ago, like bitch you’re from Canada where they got weed growing in streets and poo poo, I come too far and worked too hard to be giving out free weed ot people who aren’t my homies. So yeah Lando’s cool with me. He’s fighting some Teymur dude who I guess is some kind of animal they got in Sweden, he has a couple knockouts and poo poo so should be good, if you guys are buying wolf tickets. And watching this poo poo. I'll be with Nate smoking fat blunts in Cabo instead posting rude poo poo on Conor McGregor's instagram or whatever. Heavyweight  Alistair Overeem vs.  Mark Hunt I do most of my fighting in America, but I fought on the same card as Overeem in Pride. I didn’t really get to meet him until I I fought in Japan once a few years later, or whatever, in DREAM. Alistair Overeem wasn’t on that card but I met him after at the after party in some bar where they had a bunch of girls dressed like they were in the navy or some poo poo and they were sellin their underwear in a vending machine, which was pretty hosed up, and I couldn’t figure out how to get it to take my dollar anyway. Anyway this motherfucker Overeem wasn’t even fighting that night but he had the corner booth with the velvet rope like he was hot poo poo, so I go over to see what all this is about and this motherfucker sitting there with his sledgehammer and his Archie, fuckin Jughead burger king crown on, straight up getting his dick sucked in the middle of the club while he was eating a whole drat horse they had on his table like it was some kind of Flintstones poo poo that makes the whole car tip over. For real. Just eatin this motherfuckin horse while some Japanese lady giving him a blowjob under the table. Motherfucker just looks at me with a mouth full of horse rear end or whatever and winks. Never saw that motherfucker again but that’s a true fuckin story. That was the only time I ever fought in Japan, but one time, I made Japan come to me, when I beat up that little drunk Japanese guy in Pride in Vegas and then they said it don’t count cuz I smoke weed to help me deal with all this fighting bullshit, which is bullshit motherfucker. Mark Hunt was supposed to fight the fuckin Slender Man from the internet memes but they wouldn’t let him, so he was in the crowd that day. Ran into him after the fight too. Basically it was the same exact story except it was in the back of a KFC, and he didn’t wink at me, just kept sayin ‘yeah, salright’ over and over lookin’ down at this big ol fat chick suckin his dick while he's eatin a drumstick. These motherfuckers ain’t got no manners. OTHER poo poo TO WATCH, HOMIE FS1 Prelims, 8 p.m. ET Heavyweight Marcin Tybura vs. Luis Henrique Featherweight Mirsad Bektić vs. Darren Elkins Bantamweight Iuri Alcântara vs. Luke Sanders Heavyweight Mark Godbeer vs. Daniel Spitz Fight Pass Prelims, 7 p.m. ET Light Heavyweight Tyson Pedro vs. Paul Craig Bantamweight Albert Morales vs. Andre Soukhamthath Official MMA Snack Rating: Nick and Nate Diaz Brand Marijuana Pre-Roll Packs  And don't forget to make your picks in the exciting return of Goonweight! Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 17:07 on Mar 4, 2017 |
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Mar 4, 2017 06:36
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it, errr, got really surreal at the end there. lol though.
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Mar 4, 2017 06:49
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20/9 op. Would shout where you at motherfucker? Again.
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Mar 4, 2017 06:58
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Bluedeanie posted:I didn’t really get to meet him until I I fought in Japan once a few years later, or whatever, in DREAM. Alistair Overeem wasn’t on that card but I met him after at the after party in some bar where they had a bunch of girls dressed like they were in the navy or some poo poo and they were sellin their underwear in a vending machine, which was pretty hosed up, and I couldn’t figure out how to get it to take my dollar anyway. loving 
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Mar 4, 2017 07:36
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the OP is fantastic but it cannot fill the interim title-shaped hole in my heart
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Mar 4, 2017 08:08
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Bluedeanie thank you for bringing a sliver of joy to our dumb baby idiot garbage lives
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Mar 4, 2017 08:23
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real talk though it's an actual crime that this card isn't being headlined by a Diaz in Stockton
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Mar 4, 2017 11:01
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If it were being headlined by a Diaz, in Stockton, there would be actual crimes committed during.
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Mar 4, 2017 14:15
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Stockton does not have the disposable income to afford those tickets, nor a suitable venue, and anyone with the money for it sure as hell is not going to Stockton. I mean it's still kind of better than Fresno I guess, since it's smaller.
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Mar 4, 2017 21:57
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVwXnXyB1Rw&t=39s https://streamable.com/woyqq This man didn't take care of his underwears. Should be a sick fight, it got promoted to the co-main event apparently. Also probably the moment where Cody Garbrandt picked up on the art of homerotic trash talking.
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Mar 4, 2017 22:17
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Bluedeanie posted:Anyway this motherfucker Overeem wasn’t even fighting that night but he had the corner booth with the velvet rope like he was hot poo poo, so I go over to see what all this is about and this motherfucker sitting there with his sledgehammer and his Archie, fuckin Jughead burger king crown on, straight up getting his dick sucked in the middle of the club while he was eating a whole drat horse they had on his table like it was some kind of Flintstones poo poo that makes the whole car tip over. For real. Just eatin this motherfuckin horse while some Japanese lady giving him a blowjob under the table. Motherfucker just looks at me with a mouth full of horse rear end or whatever and winks. Never saw that motherfucker again but that’s a true fuckin story. how do these keep getting better
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Mar 4, 2017 23:45
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is there any chance the main card takes 2.5 hours or less? I'd like to watch this but I have to leave at 9:30 PST so I don't really want to buy it and miss the main event.
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Mar 4, 2017 23:51
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My heart says Thompson, but my brain and wallet say a wrestlefucking.
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Mar 5, 2017 00:10
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Fork of Unknown Origins posted:is there any chance the main card takes 2.5 hours or less? I'd like to watch this but I have to leave at 9:30 PST so I don't really want to buy it and miss the main event. Hunt vs Overeem could end in the 1st round. That helps. I wouldn't be surprised if the Rashad fight or the Lando fight don't go the distance either, so yeah, the event could go by pretty quickly. At least as far as PPVs go.
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Mar 5, 2017 00:39
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Having said that, the women's fight and the Judo Dan Kelly fight probably go the distance.
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Mar 5, 2017 00:44
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Memento posted:Judo Dan Kelly fight probably go the distance. i love your optimism
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Mar 5, 2017 00:45
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Oh cool Cruz is commentating today
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Mar 5, 2017 01:12
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Dad Kelly is going to win.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:12
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so far the commentary already feels better than anything I've heard in years. Anik + Cruz + Rogan is a good combo
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Mar 5, 2017 01:13
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Bubba Smith posted:so far the commentary already feels better than anything I've heard in years. Anik + Cruz + Rogan is a good combo 
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Mar 5, 2017 01:14
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Tezcatlipoca posted:Dad Kelly is going to win.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:14
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i really appreciate cruz's high level pro fighter opinion
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Mar 5, 2017 01:17
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It seems like as long as the aren't on the ground Joe will shut up a lot more, which is nice
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Mar 5, 2017 01:21
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Bubba Smith posted:so far the commentary already feels better than anything I've heard in years. Anik + Cruz + Rogan is a good combo I think having two colour guys allows them both to relax a little knowing they won't have to explain every little thing and the little breaks each of them gets when the other's talking seems to let them see a bit more of whats happening. It's very cool.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:22
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These left hooks are great
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Mar 5, 2017 01:24
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That poor kids gut.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:24
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This is not an easy fight to score
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Mar 5, 2017 01:27
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what's the benefit of bridging up like that when someone has you in back mount/has triangled their legs
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Mar 5, 2017 01:28
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Rigel posted:This is not an easy fight to score I got 1st and 3rd to Morales but 1 and 2 are razor close.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:28
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Dom sounds like he's a teacher talking to the know it all kid when he talks to Joe
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Mar 5, 2017 01:28
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NeatHeteroDude posted:what's the benefit of bridging up like that when someone has you in back mount/has triangled their legs When they have a body triangle there isn't one imo.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:28
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EmmyOk posted:Dom sounds like he's a teacher talking to the know it all kid when he talks to Joe Sounds about right
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Mar 5, 2017 01:32
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EmmyOk posted:Dom sounds like he's a teacher talking to the know it all kid when he talks to Joe yeah that's the way it probably looks to children
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Mar 5, 2017 01:33
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tyson pedro and paul craig both have voices I don't expect them to have
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Mar 5, 2017 01:33
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BlindSite posted:When they have a body triangle there isn't one imo. but like normal back mount it...restricts their movement? I haven't done jitz in years
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Mar 5, 2017 01:36
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Paul Craig would be a very scary teacher, I hope he wins. He also may have secretly murdered a nazi with a bat.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:37
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have joe and dom never seen Inglourious Basterds
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Mar 5, 2017 01:37
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Great walkout music tbh
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Mar 5, 2017 01:38
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NeatHeteroDude posted:but like normal back mount it...restricts their movement? I haven't done jitz in years You can bridge to break their balance and posture at times, depends, it's not a good idea because you'll get flattened out, you should just roll to your side. Grouse music choice.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:38
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Soothing Vapors posted:have joe and dom never seen Inglourious Basterds joe rogan saw avatar in theaters, decided it was the greatest movie ever made, and hasn't been back to theaters since
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Mar 5, 2017 01:40
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