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What is an anal fissure but an internally-installed bidet
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May 7, 2021 20:56
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 01:28 |
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flavor.flv posted:What is an anal fissure but an internally-installed bidet A miserable pile of blood cots. Wipe at thee!
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May 7, 2021 21:04
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Sockser posted:You don’t need power Yeah this. Sure the electric ones are probably nice but they are expensive
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May 7, 2021 21:06
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Thanks thread for reminding me to buy a bidet. I'd been thinking about it since we bought our house back in May and I am looking forward to it
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May 7, 2021 21:07
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Bidet blasting dookie all over the back of your balls and the front of the toilet All day never stopping edit: the bidet is the air one right like a quieter air horn
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May 7, 2021 21:09
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Everyone get a bidet. Everyone who has only ever wiped: shut the gently caress up you're out of your element. And yeah, you can get fancy powered heated nonsense but the proletariat bidet it cold water and uses only your water pressure to accomplish the task (and to install you need to know where the water shut off is, a scrrwdrive, adjustable wrench, and Teflon tape... It's super easy and anyone can do it!) Only down side is you'll feel loving disgusting whenever you have to poop somewhere without a bidet. On vacation it's an automatic shower after a BM.
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May 7, 2021 21:15
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Best part about having a bidet is if you get thirsty while you're popping you can have a quick slurp
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May 7, 2021 21:22
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Cocaine Bear posted:Only down side is you'll feel loving disgusting whenever you have to poop somewhere without a bidet. On vacation it's an automatic shower after a BM. Which, again, is how I managed in Costa Rica I'm not throwing it in the drat trash
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May 7, 2021 21:26
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Cocaine Bear posted:And yeah, you can get fancy powered heated nonsense but the proletariat bidet it cold water and uses only your water pressure to accomplish the task As someone who has done both, no. The cold water ones do not work nearly as well. If the task is "clean poo poo off my rear end" then those water pressure ones do not accomplish the task.
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May 7, 2021 21:29
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CainFortea posted:As someone who has done both, no. The cold water ones do not work nearly as well. If the task is "clean poo poo off my rear end" then those water pressure ones do not accomplish the task. More pressure. And I've used heated ones and they are absolutely a luxury but I'm talking spending 30-50 bux and never having to buy TP again. You can always upgrade when you got some spare cash!
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May 7, 2021 21:36
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How effective are the cheap ones for very hairy people with a poor diet? Asking for an imaginary friend 
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May 7, 2021 21:38
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If you feel you cannot afford a bidet you can repurpose one of your old super soakers into a clencher cleanser Especially if you have one of the really expensive ones that had a backpack attachment on account of it has the hose already
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May 7, 2021 21:38
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The Bloop posted:How effective are the cheap ones for very hairy people with a poor diet? That snuffy has seen some poo poo.
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May 7, 2021 21:39
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I still never got a straight answer from anyone on SA about what they do with their rear end towels or for guests. I think if I had a private bathroom that wasn't also for guests it would feel like a much better idea
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May 7, 2021 21:39
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I don't have an rear end towel I pat my balloon knot dry with toilet paper
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May 7, 2021 21:42
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I come and personally wash my guest's pooper with the bidet so that they too can experience the magic. https://mobile.twitter.com/travisakers/status/1388485151018061827
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May 7, 2021 21:45
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I just installed a Toto Washlet C200. Would recommend.
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May 7, 2021 21:49
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Okay but moist towelettes aka baby wipes is a pretty good poor mans rear end cleaner ngl. Just dont flush em.
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May 7, 2021 21:50
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I use a pumice stone to keep my taint squeaky clean.
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May 7, 2021 21:54
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RFC2324 posted:they may be cheap, but I physically cannot install one in my apartment! You don't need power unless you're trying to buy one of the fancy Japanese ones that talk to you or something. Android Apocalypse posted:I'm tempted to jump on the bidet train but lately I've had some serious mud butt & I'm concerned how easy/difficult they are to clean. Shouldn't be much harder than the toilet itself. The ones I have include the ability to run water over the spray nozzle as a form of self cleaning, but you'll still probably need to wipe or scrub it occasionally. The Bloop posted:I still never got a straight answer from anyone on SA about what they do with their rear end towels or for guests. I use the Tushy brand bidets and accessories. For my guest bathroom, I have their bamboo toilet paper (which doesn't disintegrate immediately upon contacting a wet surface), and their Stand + Tissues, which is basically an upside down kleenex dispenser, so guests can just pull a couple out as single use butt towels.
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May 7, 2021 21:54
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Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:I don't have an rear end towel I pat my balloon knot dry with toilet paper And then, because the purpose of a bidet is ostensibly to avoid the use of toilet paper, wash them down the sink
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May 7, 2021 21:55
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Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:I don't have an rear end towel I pat my balloon knot dry with toilet paper 
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May 7, 2021 21:55
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pseudorandom posted:I use the Tushy brand bidets and accessories. I prefer Bang Bus brand toiletries
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May 7, 2021 21:57
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Ok, but how do I use a bidet? Like, I get it sprays water on my butt, but do I need to spread my cheeks? Will it get the inner cheeks too, or just the anus? Won't the poo poo fly everywhere and/or onto my balls? Do I let my undercarriage air dry, or do I still wipe to dry? Legit asking.
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May 7, 2021 21:57
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Keep a basin of soapy water and squat into it change it weekly better for the environment
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May 7, 2021 22:00
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Y’all act like you don’t just poo poo in the shower and smoosh it down the shower drain with your hand.
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May 7, 2021 22:01
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You pat your rear end dry afterwards unless you've got a fancy reverse-fart-machine air drier. This still uses less toilet paper than just wiping, and also leaves your rear end cleaner which is the actual point of using a bidet despite what some gross-rear end goon claims.
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May 7, 2021 22:03
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rydiafan posted:Ok, but how do I use a bidet? Like, I get it sprays water on my butt, but do I need to spread my cheeks? Will it get the inner cheeks too, or just the anus? Won't the poo poo fly everywhere and/or onto my balls? Do I let my undercarriage air dry, or do I still wipe to dry? For me, just sitting there and having it spray is fine; maybe shift around a little bit if you feel like it. No issues with ball spray. Use a dedicated butt towel, or toilet paper to pat dry. On the topic of ball spray: If you get one which has the option to change the angle for "feminine cleaning", it's a luxurious way to spray your balls with cool water on hot days.
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May 7, 2021 22:04
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Bougie poo poo get out of here with that There's a perfectly good hose in the front yard
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May 7, 2021 22:06
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Just poo poo in one of those Dyson air dryers so it goes everywhere
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May 7, 2021 22:06
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May 7, 2021 22:10
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bike tory posted:I come and personally wash my guest's pooper with the bidet so that they too can experience the magic. yasss queen slay *fires a rocket barrage into a syrian hospital*
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May 7, 2021 22:17
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Twelve Letter poo poo Spreader
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May 7, 2021 22:22
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I want an intensive double blind study to PROVE bidets work. Stick your finger in peanut butter, then run it under the tap at full blast. It'll still have peanut butter on it when you turn the water off. I dont see how even a intense hydro blast of water can get all that dookie off. Millions of people just be walking around with poopy butts goin' "Its so much cleaner! I'm a clean boi!" *sound of turd crusts breaking off and going down pantleg*
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May 7, 2021 22:28
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:I want an intensive double blind study to PROVE bidets work. Stick your finger in peanut butter, then run it under the tap at full blast. It'll still have peanut butter on it when you turn the water off. I dont see how even a intense hydro blast of water can get all that dookie off. Why do you think the french smell so bad?
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May 7, 2021 22:32
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People convinced they don't smell because humans grow accustomed to their own stench
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May 7, 2021 22:33
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:I want an intensive double blind study to PROVE bidets work. Stick your finger in peanut butter, then run it under the tap at full blast. It'll still have peanut butter on it when you turn the water off. I dont see how even a intense hydro blast of water can get all that dookie off. I use a bidet then wipe w a little tp to dry up and the tp virtually never comes out streaked.
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May 7, 2021 22:34
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:I want an intensive double blind study to PROVE bidets work. Stick your finger in peanut butter, then run it under the tap at full blast. It'll still have peanut butter on it when you turn the water off. I dont see how even a intense hydro blast of water can get all that dookie off. That's why I made my own out of a 3000psi pressure washer
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May 7, 2021 22:34
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You found the marble in the oatmeal!
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May 7, 2021 22:42
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 01:28 |
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The real answer is to always poo poo in the showers at the gym so you don't have to worry about maintenance and can immediately wash your rear end to a sparkling shine.
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May 7, 2021 22:45
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