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troll for dollars
Jan 10, 2005
Jimmy Havok in a WWE ring? Man, Axxess is going to be something.

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achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?

Raskolnikov38 posted:

why would we care about bayley after getting pinned clean by nia and friggen dana brooke
It was in the sense that this was in Brooklyn where 2 years ago the crowd was on their feet and cheering for Bayley to beat Sasha for the NXT Women's title

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
remember when wwe aired the seth rehab comeback documentary and it really made you feel for him, and then he showed up and got a huge loving pop and wwe made him cut a i dont give a poo poo about you fans promo lmao

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Professor Funk posted:

Honestly (excluding Roman stuff) I think having Bayley win the title on Raw and throwing the the path of her winning as the underdog at Wrestlemania in the trash is maybe the dumbest booking decision of the past...5 years? Maybe of the decade? Please help me think of a dumber one.

Edit: I guess letting Kevin loving Nash hijack CM Punk's white hot run post-MITB has got to be dumber than this.

HHH-PUNK.

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"

All the shield guys suck now, and were probably Always Bad

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Also they were going to book Daniel Bryan in a nothing match at wm 30 and the people revolted against the show. Of course, HHH booked himself into the angle and but time he LOST!.

Then they booked Bryan against Kane and later is brain broke.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Matches I'm legit excited for

Owens/Jericho
Neville/Aries
HHH/Rollins

Matches I'm not excited for but could at least be good

Wyatt/Orton
Ambrose/Corbin

Matches I'm interested in for trainwreck potential

Goldberg/Brock
Roman/Taker
AJ/Shane
The Cenas vs. The Mizanins
Smackdown women's title

Who gives a poo poo

Raw women's title
Raw tag team title
The Andre



Lot of stuff on this card could go either way.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Benne posted:

Matches I'm legit excited for

Owens/Jericho
Neville/Aries
HHH/Rollins

Matches I'm not excited for but could at least be good

Wyatt/Orton
Ambrose/Corbin

Matches I'm interested in for trainwreck potential

Goldberg/Brock
Roman/Taker
AJ/Shane
The Cenas vs. The Mizanins
Smackdown women's title

Who gives a poo poo

Raw women's title
Raw tag team title
The Andre



Lot of stuff on this card could go either way.

Pretty much exactly how I feel but I think SD is safer, with a higher floor, lower ceiling.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Ryback posted:

They [the Shield] needed a move, I remember, to put me down early on. I think it was that first… the pay-per-view before in Indianapolis, the triple threat [match] with me, [John] Cena, and [CM] Punk. And I had been powerbombing a lot of guys up till that point in different variations of powerbombs. And I said to them, 'why don't you do a triple powerbomb?' because they wanted a move they all three could do.

I love that Ryback, through the Secret, truly believes he created everything

Go RV!
Jun 19, 2008

Uglier on the inside.

I'm gonna laugh really hard when Dean Ambrose has the best singles match against HHH of The Shield guys.

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
I think Ambrose/Corbin could be really good and could make up for Lesnar/Ambrose from WM32 if it's a hardcore match of some sort.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

Everything with Punk may legitimately be the worst series of decisions in company history.

All they had to do was get behind the guy and let his own talents carry him to the top and they wound up running him off instead.

rovert
Jun 10, 2013
https://twitter.com/badboicasey/status/844232383608111104

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Its totally cool how 3 matches on the card have some variation of dq stipulations while the main event of the evening is Goldberg-Lesnar.

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
i hope the rock comes out and squashes american alpha or something, to really put a cherry on this mania

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!

KungFu Grip posted:

,y bad i did it last minute and missed segments. highlight reel adde to the op

No worries, friend. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if Raw decided to leave two top guys off the show two weeks before Wrestlemania, though, because they are that dumb.

I'm catching up, and just watched the Zayn/Joe match. It was good as hell. Sami's promo work in the hallway segment with Foley was really top notch, too. If they gave him these sort of opportunities every week, he could easily be a top guy. Now I'm watching Dana actually get to do her little flip entrance and I can't believe this show is about to go off the rails.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Yorkshire Tea posted:

Ooh, this is a fun game! Let me start!

Roman vs. Triple H as the main event of a Wrestlemania.

Ambrose v Lesnar

build build build build squash the end

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Chris James 2 posted:

I love that Ryback, through the Secret, truly believes he created everything

I recall him making the same claim years ago on Twitter, though I figured he was telling a hilarious joke and not being serious.

Vaguido
Feb 22, 2011

When the drug test comes back positive for performance enhancing drugs.
Headbangers are gonna come back and take the Tag Titles

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

DeepDickPizza posted:

No worries, friend. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if Raw decided to leave two top guys off the show two weeks before Wrestlemania, though, because they are that dumb.

I'm catching up, and just watched the Zayn/Joe match. It was good as hell. Sami's promo work in the hallway segment with Foley was really top notch, too. If they gave him these sort of opportunities every week, he could easily be a top guy. Now I'm watching Dana actually get to do her little flip entrance and I can't believe this show is about to go off the rails.

It didn't really go off the rails, just a lot of boring paint by numbers uneventful poo poo to continue the build for Mania.

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!
Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens really should have been for the Universal Title. This feud is so good, especially compared to the rest of the crap on Raw. But yeah, I'm halfway through the show and it seems like every other segment is a recap or something backstage. It's pretty ridiculous.

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values

Vaguido posted:

Headbangers are gonna come back and take the Tag Titles

The Headbangers have more credibility than any other American Alpha opponent. They're also more over than American Alpha, they should win the titles.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

DeepDickPizza posted:

Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens really should have been for the Universal Title. This feud is so good, especially compared to the rest of the crap on Raw. But yeah, I'm halfway through the show and it seems like every other segment is a recap or something backstage. It's pretty ridiculous.

Tbh I half suspect they wrote the show like this so sponsors wouldn't get mad at them for Paige related chants

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

exploded mummy posted:

Tbh I half suspect they wrote the show like this so sponsors wouldn't get mad at them for Paige related chants

I have no idea how Brooklyn didn't hijack such a boring-rear end show. There was only one "We Want Paige" chant all night.

Cyron
Mar 10, 2014

by zen death robot
how is smackdown lately? last time i watch was EC and that was one of the better shows WWE had in ages. i am a bit upset that i feel smackdown have a strangely booked for WM.

Cyron
Mar 10, 2014

by zen death robot

VJeff posted:

I have no idea how Brooklyn didn't hijack such a boring-rear end show. There was only one "We Want Paige" chant all night.

maybe becuase not everyone is a sexist fuckhead. she had sex, get over it.

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!

exploded mummy posted:

Tbh I half suspect they wrote the show like this so sponsors wouldn't get mad at them for Paige related chants

I would definitely not be surprised.

I just fast forwarded through most of the last hour, and even on fast forward that HHH promo was too drat long.

Go RV!
Jun 19, 2008

Uglier on the inside.

I guess I'll do a quick rundown​ of the card.

Owens/Jericho
Should be real good, and real hot. Owens has legit heat from and both guys have leveraged the absolute most of everything they could get their hands on since November or so.
Potential: A+
Reality: it'll be a good to great match with a pants on head stupid finish. A-

Neville/Aries
Both of these dudes are hard workers and, given time/slack, they could steal the show. Mania should be smarky enough to be fully into both guys.
Potential: A
Reality: they'll have a hard time getting the crowd, but it'll be fine. A-

HHH/Rollins
I've got concerns about this. Seth has been a really lovely babyface (not his fault), and HHH's match can be real tiresome, as shown by Roman/HHH last year. There's a good chance of a lovely finish to solidify HHH's new stable. That said, they're both good workers, and can have pretty drat good matches.
Potential: B+
Reality: it will go on too late in the show, HHH will try and do his epic match and and it will be mostly heatless. Seth will do something stupid and insane for a medium pop and a small but respectacle holy poo poo/TiA chant. C

Wyatt/Orton
I'm excited for this one. Seems like people are either totally into this one or totally not, depending on how much you like Spooky Storylines. Orton is boring, but can work a match. Bray is good and cool, and is a good cool wrestler. No reason this can't be a four star showing.
Potential: B+
Reality: it's gonna get weird, there's gonna be interference from Rowan and maybe Harper? It'll be perfectly competent and Randy will win because gently caress it. B-

Ambrose/Corbin
I think this is a sleeper hit right here. This could be the Lesnar/Ambrose that Dean wanted last year. Going by Kalisto/Corbin from TLC, Corbin can more than keep up with that. YMMV depending on how much you like garbage matches.
Potential: A-
Reality: It'll be a good garbage match with some insane spots. B+

Goldberg/Brock
:laffo:
Potential: D+
Reality: Two lovely steaks slapping against each other for a few minutes and then one wins and leaves with the belt for months because he's a part timer. D

Roman/Taker
Man, this one is hard. Roman is a good wrestler, but no ring general. Taker is good, but very old. Either way, Roman is going over and gently caress that.
Potential: B-
Reality: HHH/Roman 2 but with sliiiiightly more heat. C-

AJ/Shane
This is bullshit. Instead of AJ/indie darling, we get nepotism. There's no reason this match should be happening when SHINSUKE NAKAMURA is on the roster. Just have Shane say he's not a wrestler and hand off the match to his chosen champion, Nakamura. Please. But anyway, AJ can carry anyone to a good match, and Shane is at least passable most the time.
Potential: C+
Reality: AJ is good. Shane won't get concussed. C+

The Cenas vs. The Mizanins
Miz and Cena are both good, but this is not. I'm sure this is just gonna be a lot of smoke and mirrors and then Nikki and Cena get stereo pins.
Potential: C-
Reality: who cares

Smackdown women's title
This could be really fun! Smackdown has a really good roster, and if the rumors of Emma being in it are true, then Nattie/Becky/Emma can carry the match while Alexa/Carmella/Naomi maybe can get their cool spots in, and it'll be a great showcase.
Potential: B
Reality: it'll be sloppy but fun. C+

Raw women's title
What a loving shitshow. It would have been a good, if initially heatless, match with just Sasha/Bayley/Charlotte, but with Nia in there, yeesh. I can't see this being very good at all.
Potential: C
Reality: They try and do the Lesnar triple threat match from RR2014 but do a mediocre job with stupid booking. D+

Raw tag team title
Should be a perfectly competent match, but there's not a lot to grab onto here too make anyone care. They're all good workers though sooooo
Potential: C+
Reality: It's fine but heatless, with a dumb idiot finish. C

ARMBaR
BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
Potential: D
Reality: BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. D-

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values

Cyron posted:

how is smackdown lately? last time i watch was EC and that was one of the better shows WWE had in ages. i am a bit upset that i feel smackdown have a strangely booked for WM.

It's ok, but the Wrestlemania builds are all very disappointing given how good the show was last year

Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt in the match everyone knew was happening and has very little heat despite cabins being burned to the ground
AJ Styles vs Shane loving McMahon, because that's a great use for the best wrestler on your show
Alexa Bliss vs everyone because Naomi got hurt and they just decided to throw out all women's storylines and shove them in a single match
American Alpha vs no one because Smackdown does not have a tag division
Dean Ambrose not defending his IC title at all and likely just tussling with THE LONE WOLF Baron Corbin in the Andre match

In all honesty, The Miz/Cena mixed tag match is the most exciting Smackdown thing on the card and the best built, because The Miz rules.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

My rating for wrestlemania is a big old whoop my rear end out of whoop my drat rear end.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I want A.j, Alexa and The Miz to win. I dont give a gently caress about the rest of the card,

Minidust
Nov 4, 2009

Keep bustin'
I fully expect Goldberg to injure himself if they actually book a normal-length match for him at Mania. I'm ready for an awkward ref-stoppage finish in the main event, it's gonna be glorious.
But they'll probably just do the typical thing and make it a ~3 minute match so v:shobon:v.

Aaaaaaand that's the level of anticipation I have for the main event of WrestleMania! :smith:

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!
Even by recent Undertaker standards, this Roman/Taker build is exceptionally lame. None of it feels even remotely organic. Just super forced and flat. "How are we going to get Undertaker back into the fold and start a feud with Reigns?" "Uhhh...have Roman talk about yards." They really should have just done the Cena match years ago and told Taker to retire while people still gave a poo poo.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Minidust posted:

I fully expect Goldberg to injure himself if they actually book a normal-length match for him at Mania. I'm ready for an awkward ref-stoppage finish in the main event, it's gonna be glorious.
But they'll probably just do the typical thing and make it a ~3 minute match so v:shobon:v.

Aaaaaaand that's the level of anticipation I have for the main event of WrestleMania! :smith:

I think that Goldberg is in better shape than notable main eventers Undertaker and Shane Mcmahon.

DoctorGonzo fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Mar 21, 2017

Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





I kinda want Shelton Benjamin to come back unannounced and win the ARMBAR out of the blue

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008
Which matches will be on the preshow in a half empty stadium like last year

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


It's going to be really cool when Aries and Neville get 6 minutes on the preshow amd then Triple H has a 12 minute entrance

Eldritch BiLast
Jul 7, 2009

Pummel Sylvanas
Melee Range
Instant

VJeff posted:

I have no idea how Brooklyn didn't hijack such a boring-rear end show. There was only one "We Want Paige" chant all night.

I was there, there was multiple. They just died a quick death until one of them finally caught on throughout the arena.

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
I just watched Undertakers interference and choke slam of Braun and lmao he looks sooo bad, how can they think the match will be anything but just poo poo

I'm going to take a stab and say they know taker is garbage and their match will have interference from old WWE stars to help taker to get the crowd into it

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Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





KungFu Grip posted:

Which matches will be on the preshow in a half empty stadium like last year

If they're gonna do anything with this Tozawa/Kendrick stuff they might as well finish it on the preshow and have the Cruiserweight match somewhere on the main card. Also, probably the Raw tag and Smackdown tag titles. For all intents and purposes the ARMBAR should be on there as well, but they're gonna have it in the midcard or wherever because they're numpties.

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