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Selene Selendes (header to come) Research +2 | Sorcery +1 | Bureaucracy + 0 | Charisma -1 Experience 0/5 | Burnout: 0 | Harm: 0 Normally I rise later - not especially late, just, an hour or two after the sun - as I refuse to hold any classes before ten in the morning at the earliest. Necromancy is easier by bright sunlight or the pitch black of midnight. Don't even try it at dawn or dusk, that's when spirits are most likely to pass on and so slip out of your spells. Rise late, raiser later, that's my motto. So, ordinarily, I rise later, get a cup of exceptionally dark coffee from my haunted coffee pot at home, sit in the back of my car while a ghoul drives to work, sipping on the coffee as it slowly wakes my system up. Then its straight to the office, where I get a fresh cup from THAT haunted coffee pot, stroke Wuffles and sit down to read the latest Necromantic literature of the day until I feel up for some proper magic. TODAY, I had to get up far too early, and have replaced steps three (go to office) onward with stumble into the meeting room with a giant thermos of coffee from home, which is about the only thing keeping me from performing ritual magic to summon endless hordes of undead to consume everyone in this room, including myself. Instead, I occupy my time sipping and plotting hideous revenges on, say, Professor Lovelace, who has the disgustingly unmitigated gall to actually appear awake and alert at this ungodly hour. She's actually chipper, that no good lich -I should be clear, she isn't one, to the best of my knowledge, but practically speaking keeping yourself youthful with necromantic arts means you're either bathing in the blood of virgins or on that path. She'll be one soon enough. You know... if she's not doing that and is bathing in virgin blood, that'd make this revenge far sweeter, and easier, just swap it with the blood of someone who really got around, and it'd probably wrinkle her up in an instant. With that happy mental imagine in mind, I'm even able to consider Highsmith's question without spitting venom. "Animate a batch of them and set them on another department? Nothing violent, just have them shamble and decompose around their offices until they vacate them so we can have their extra space."
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Mar 30, 2017 05:28
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 05:42 |
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Selene Selendes (header to come) Research +2 | Sorcery +1 | Bureaucracy + 0 | Charisma -1 Experience 0/5 | Burnout: 0 | Harm: 0 Normally I'd argue against any counter-suggestion to my idea on pure principle but... ugh, it's too early to think that hard, and combining the ideas does sound like a better suggestion anyway. After taking a long gulp of coffee to clear my head a little and see if I can spot any flaws. It doesn't result in shambling undead attacking a competing department - at least not intentionally - but knowing students it probably will, and it's amusing, if less viscerally satisfying. "I agree. It'll be a good w-use of the students time as well." I give her an ironic air toast of my thermos.
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Apr 7, 2017 07:17
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Selene Selendes (header to come) Research +2 | Sorcery +1 | Bureaucracy + 0 | Charisma -1 Experience 0/5 | Burnout: 0 | Harm: 0 Bahh, that's a good chunk of my best research time gone. I won't be getting up earlier for anything short of these worthless meetings or the end of the world, so revising my lesson plans will cut into the best necromantic hours of the day. What a waste of my time, and right when I'd found an excellent new corpse to be working on, the body is dead, while still having some functions of life - twitching fingers, occasional eye movements. Bodies shift all the time as they settle into death, but I've never seen one like this, and they're absolutely dead, I performed rigorous testing, and, let us be honest here, people tend to die when their heads are disconnected from their body. Still, what a potential source of information. But no. Lesson plans. I push my glasses further up my nose, letting the light in the room reflect off of them, effectively signaling my blocking out of my co-worker's glares at the same time. Like I care. --- Class. "Post Mortem Communications, 101. Welcome, welcome, today we shall be working on the very basics of this art, animating a lifeless body. Now, possessing the body with a spirit of the dead will give it intelligence - and if done properly obedience - however, that is not the basics. You will be animating it purely with magic and your own will. If the ritual fails, due to insufficient talent or concentration, the fault is entirely your own, but the consequences should be nothing more than a headache, though I have seen some split open in the past, for exceptionally dim students. The instructions are on the monolith board," I give the towering black slab behind me a tap with my fingerbone (originally someone else's) and the writing scratches itself into view with dull screeching, outlining a list of steps, ingredients and the ritual words. "you have one hour, begin." [22:06:31] <GodFish> teach class [22:06:43] <ShootaBoy> rip erica [22:06:49] <ShootaBoy> her empire crumbles! [22:06:50] <GodFish> !r 2d6-1 [22:06:52] <Krysmbot> GodFish, 5-1 = 4 Of course just because the spell we're doing won't animate a body with a mind of it's own, that doesn't mean the incompetents we have to teach can't manage to muck it up badly enough to do so themselves. -- Sigh. At least I don't have to clean it up, because I'm stuck in this staff meeting. I will admit to being a bit surprised that The Dean mentioned by personal favorite paper of the last year, A Treaties on the Animation and Sentience of Dismembered Body Parts. Yes, it's a bit specialized, but you'd be amazed at how many so called professional necromancers can't preserve and animate a severed hand and make it intelligent enough to play the piano - at least with any amount of skill. My work endeavored to fix that. I wouldn't have expected a niche piece like that to attract his attention, I had more impressive papers, but like I said, it was my favorite. Speech done, I send a specter off to bring some food and turn to my two nearest dining companions. Discussing classes, my 'esteemed' colleague Robin Claims and ... "Ahh, Professor... Ca-la-mi-ty." Each syllable pronounced with precise care, not a trace of sarcasm in the tone - that itself a sign of tremendous irony. All at once my words go back to be swift and normal, "Several of my students are quite restful today, as is often the case with in-experienced necromancers. The grave is very restful - at least when more of us aren't around."
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Apr 20, 2017 07:19
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