Tunicate posted:

The most hosed is the ending where Adam and Eve are both dead, so the new controller of the machine network is Jean-Paul.

quote:

Cults are weird things, and Christian cults are absolutely no exception.

In the fourth and fifth centuries, Christianity had spread into the Maghreb region of Northern Africa, on the very edge of the failing Roman empire. Normally small cult-sects of religions aren't much to write home about, having similar practices to their over-arching religion with a few variances that set them apart that often have been facilitated by cultural or regional norms. The first five centuries of Christianity were a very diverse period in which competing groups battled it out over all manner of doctrinal and political issues. One such group was the Berber Donatists sect, a branch of Christians that was founded on the basis of an extremely complex stand that generally extolled the virtues of Martyrdom.

Within this sect was a radical, fanatical group called the Circumcellions (they called themselves agonistici - "fighters (for Christ)"). The Circumcellions ("Guys who hang around villages") were mostly lower-class peasants, many of whom were illiterate. I have read several descriptions of the Circumcellions and they are at best described as "rustic enthusiasts" and at worst "the Roman equivalent of trailer trash". Generally the only job these guys had was the one they gave themselves - being Circumcellions.


However, the Circumcellions had thought long and hard about the 'path' to heaven, and realized that there was a loophole. It was clear that the Bible gave a straight path to heaven if one is a martyr. Martyrdom was the sole aspiration of the Circumcellions, which they regarded as the ONLY Christian virtue - thus rejecting the primacy of chastity, sobriety, humility, and charity. Christianity was now the state church, so they clearly had a problem with how they were going to achieve their goals.

Because Jesus had told Peter to put down his sword in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Circumcellions avoided bladed weapons and used clubs. They took to fashioning absolutely massive wooden clubs, which they called "Israelites", and would hide along well-traveled trading paths waiting for unwary travelers to come along. When they saw a victim, they would jump out and beat them with their clubs while shouting "Deo laudes!" ("Praise God!"). The goal was not to take anything, not to kill the person - only to beat and annoy them enough to goad them to fight back, and hopefully, kill them and thus make them a martyr. It was the ultimate way into heaven, after all, and it was considered a special blessing if the person doing the killing was a member of the church or any variety of town official.

One historical incident we have on record states:

The Catholic Encyclopedia posted:

A number of these fanatics, fattened like pheasants, met a young man and offered him a drawn sword to smite them with, threatening to murder him if he refused. He pretended to fear that when he had killed a few, the rest might change their minds and avenge the deaths of their fellows; and he insisted that they must all be bound. They agreed to this; when they were defenceless, the young man gave each of them a beating and went his way.

For those that had such setbacks, or just generally weren't able to go out and provoke attacks, other methods of martyrdom was available. Drowning in the River Chotts and mass-cliff-jumping were popular choices, and those and truly dedicated members would burn themselves at the stake. Others interrupted courts of law and verbally provoked the judge so that he would order their immediate execution (a normal punishment at the time for contempt of court). There are even mentions in Catholic historical texts that say they would go so far as to just pay someone to kill them by threatening to kill someone passing by if the person refused. The one method that was completely off limits and most definitely not the way to heaven was hanging, as that was the way Judas killed himself, and they certainly did not want to be associated with him. They were never reported as starving to death, as that would take too long. If a member did succeed in offing themselves they were honored by the living Circumcellions as the ultimate in martyr, having their grave tended to and venerated, often becoming a stop on a pilgrimage path.

Theodoret says a Circumcellion was accustomed to announce his intention of becoming a martyr long before the time, in order to be well treated and fed like a beast for slaughter, and also relates the same story quoted above.

It wasn’t just random attacks trying to provoke suicide-by-traveler that the Circumcellions were known for. The order absolutely hated Rome and the authority figures that had been officially sanctioned by the church. They also hated slavery, and soon became widely hated by slave owners not only because of their insistence that slaves had rights, too, but because of their seemingly random attacks that freed slaves and gave them the chains that now secured their former masters, often recruiting those slaves into their cause.

At the beginning, other Donatists saw them as the selfless martrys they so badly wanted to be, but as the movement got more and more out of hand, the Circumcellions became increasingly unpopular. Righteous indignation turned into an increasingly violent crime wave fueled by lust, religious ecstasy, and not a little bit of alcohol. Donatists disavowed the Circumcellion movement in short order and strictly forbade cliff jumping, yet crowds of Circumcellions and their supporters would flock to the streets to honor the cliff-jumpers' deaths.

Donatism as a whole was officially outlawed by the mainstream church in A.D. 411, and was all but dead for the Circumcellions. They roamed the land armed with their massive clubs, refocusing their ire on anyone who belonged to the more mainstream branches of Christianity. They stole from the church, blinded clergy, and tortured those who didn’t believe as they did, all the while proclaiming that they were the only true form of Christianity. They were known to forcibly rebaptize any clergy they caught hold of as Circumcellion.

The Circumcellions eventually suffered the same fate that befalls most suicide cults -- loss of members due to excessive death. Contributing factors included the anarchist tendencies of attacking both religious and civil authority figures, which demanded a forceful government response, combined with the pressures that arise from persecuting the wealthy, combined with their predilection for hurling themselves off cliffs in the absence of any other way to die.

It was in response to the wacky shenanigans of the Circumcellions that St. Augustine wrote the first major theological justification for the use of violence by Christians -- so that they could defend themselves against the club-wielding morons. If you're Catholic, you can thank the Circumcellions for the doctrine of the "just war" and your inability to invoke "conscientious objector" to get out of military service.

McDragon posted:

Also I don't remember if he does but I guess Emil probably still cruises around while everything has gone all stabby.

Kassad posted:

Circumcellion.

TurnipFritter posted:

I'm glad she got a happy ending

TurnipFritter posted:

I'm glad she got a happy ending

Qrr posted:

It's a nice picture, but how's she going to fish? I don't see a pod.

TurnipFritter posted:

You're right.

TurnipFritter posted:

You're right.


VV That's not the sun, but he does brighten up the world :*)

Qrr posted:

That is truly the best ending.

Qrr posted:

That is truly the best ending.

Jet Jaguar posted:

Even in the midst of chaos, every sale's a win, so he's probably looking for a score during the carnage.

Emy posted:

Don't those flight units cost like 10 times what 9S does? It'd be way cheaper to explode himself while the flight unit safely returns to base.

This is inefficient use of YoRHa resources.

Kassad posted:

The real final boss will be the head of YoRHa's accounting department going apeshit after 9S and/or 2B blew up one flight unit too many.

AradoBalanga posted:

9S gets a 10 for dramatic entrance, but loses 8 points for failing to stick the landing.

The Dark Id posted:

Arkannoyed posted:

Just call him Nines-Eleven!

apocalypticCritic posted:

Android fuel can't melt steel Machines.

Kassad posted:

The real final boss will be the head of YoRHa's accounting department going apeshit after 9S and/or 2B blew up one flight unit too many.

Jet Jaguar posted:

There's going to be an ending that crosses over with one of the Saints Row IV endings and its Kinzie yelling that they wrecked 27 flight units. She's not putting up with that poo poo!

VolticSurge posted:

Now I want Yoko Taro to make a Saints Row game. Can't be worse than Gat Outta Hell.