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awox
Aug 21, 2015
luv2club

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Gang mode was a good idea in theory but Christ it sucked in practice

Correction, the players suck

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Kernel Monsoon
Jul 18, 2006


Cool new thread! I've closed the old one just to be sure.

neogeo0823
Jul 4, 2007

NO THAT'S NOT ME!!


Getting in on the groundfirst floor here.

My favorite round playing SS13 was as a captain a while back. I did the usual thing, bumbling around the station, saying hello to everyone, schmoozing the departments, and trying to watch out for, but actively avoiding, poo poo going to hell around me. There were reports of a traitor rampaging around, and one crew member called out that he was trapped and dying somewhere alone. Well, gently caress, I have all access, let's try to save him! I run over, look around, hide in a locker to avoid a guy skulking around, then find the critically wounded crewman. I dragged him as fast as I could to medbay and began to try to heal him as best as I could. Miraculously, especially considering I have never played medic before, I manage to dig the bullet out of him, heal him up, and cure his cardiac arrest with a defib unit. He thanks me profusely over and over as I try to comprehend that I did what I'd consider to be a loving awesome job at saving one of my crew's life.

Later on, I would go on to gun him down with my e-gun and toss a syndicate grenade on his corpse for good measure. Assassination complete, other objectives complete, round complete.

And because I am a goon of my word, I will never pass up the opportunity to repost this:

PopeCrunch posted:

When I scream and holler and delete the lights in Chemistry and alter one of the chemical machines to only output blood and vomit, it's not because someone's using a recipe list. That just means it's time to punish Chemistry for existing.

Clockwork Cupcake posted:

The only time I remember you loving with Chem, you changed one of the dispensers so it only gave out blood and added something that exploded HORRIBLY when chilled to the list on one of the others. Was it "reward Chemistry for existing" time that day or what?

Klayboxx posted:

When poop existed you would alter them to only output poop and piss. I remember that quite fondly.

I remember one time a bunch of admins were on and the whole chemistry department was deleted and replaced with a really bad .gif and a BFG was placed inside the .gif and multiple people fell for it.

Captain Bravo posted:

The best Chemistry round was the round where Science was determined to have finally gone Too FarTM and the entire research wing was deleted and replaced with a band room.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

I'm trying to picture what could possibly qualify as this, and every time all I come up with is a smoking hole open to space in the station where Chemistry once was.

Captain Bravo posted:

I'll give you a hint, it was immediately after one of Cog's big chemistry updates, where he added in new stuff.

Coolguye posted:

I wish I could find the screencaps on the wiki of the time Pope went absolutely loving apeshit on Chemistry. He murdered all the Chemists, and deleted everything that could potentially be used to do chemistry, even in the kitchen. He sent announcements at each step in this process, getting more and more furious each time someone found some other way to do chemistry on the station. Dozens of people asked "what did the chemists do???" over and over again.

And the next CentCom announcement simply stated: 'THEY EXISTED.'

PopeCrunch posted:

I couldn't figure out how you goatfuckers STILL managed to be terrorists with potato chips and water. YOU FOUND A WAY. I had two coders on IRC combing through reactions trying to figure out exactly how you motherless fucks were managing to make potato chips and water into explosives, and they had no loving idea. It shouldn't have been possible. It couldn't have been possible. I fear for the safety of the world if the people who managed to find a way to do murders with mother loving potato chips and goddamned water ever get recruited by a real world terrorist organization. The headlines the next day will read something like WE'RE ALL hosed: SOME NERD KILLS 3/4 OF THE WORLD'S POPULATION WITH A USED BANDAID AND THE SQUEAKER FROM A DOG TOY. THIS SECURITY PHOTO SHOWS THE SUSPECT PURCHASING A STICK OF GUM. DOES HE WANT FRESH BREATH, OR IS HE FINISHING THE JOB? OUR ONLY CONSOLATION IS THAT WE WILL PROBABLY NEVER SEE IT COMING. FILM AT 11 IF WE'RE LUCKY. OR UNLUCKY. gently caress IT. WHATEVER. -(AP)

edit to add: I would like to thank the Maker's Mark Distillery for providing me with the liquid courage to have made it through that terrible time

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005


My favorite round as captain, I caught a very murder-y traitor and straightjacketed them, chopped off their arms and replaced them with chainsaws, and force fed them joints while we blazed up in the bridge. I then proceeded to inject them with a tracking implant and let them go, occasionally chucking a flashbang through the teleporter into their location to keep them on their toes. When I posted about it in the thread they said they laughed their asses off and also died in a jumpsuit fire started by the flashbangs I kept teleporting to them. Whoops!

Thief
Jan 28, 2011



Shadowlz posted:

It was a lot of fun and I recommend trying it if you don't mind stuff that's a bit more serious.

Serious servers are actually the funniest places to greysuit in because some of them require you to do poo poo like get a paper stamped to enter a certain area without being arrested.

Shadowlz
Oct 3, 2011

Oh it's gonna happen one way or the other, pal.





Thief posted:

Serious servers are actually the funniest places to greysuit in because some of them require you to do poo poo like get a paper stamped to enter a certain area without being arrested.

*shits on paper*
"Here's my application."

monolithburger
Sep 7, 2011


Thief posted:

Serious servers are actually the funniest places to greysuit in because some of them require you to do poo poo like get a paper stamped to enter a certain area without being arrested.

This is actually how much people on other servers hate fun posted:

Well the bad news is that this style has been carried over to Space Station 13, which has a firm rule constantly championed by the admins "Do not hijack another player's game experience". This means no throwing acid/gas grenades into the medbay, or using a bomb to blow up security, killing handfuls of other players for no reason, for your own amusement.

Unfortunately the Admins themselves do not adhere to their own rules. Many times I would be excited to start a round discovering I was the traitor with a special mission, only to have the "Adminbus" as most players have come to call it, hijack the round. This ranges from sending dozens of meteors into the station, playing blaring sound clips, giving everyone crippling diseases, or just blowing up large chunks of the station. Don't get me wrong, some of this can be tongue in cheek, and a few admins know how to have fun without being too abrasive. Giving everyone a clown car and making the walls into crushers comes to mind as an amusing event. For the most part though, they will ruin your play experience with things like a .jpg image planted right in the middle of your screen, obscuring all view.

This breeds a terrible environment, as most players will not speak out their displeasure for fear of being banned. The "Ban Appeal" forum, where you are publicly on display to ask for allowance to play the game again, often to responses from admins such as "gently caress off you're gone forever", is your only recourse. This is not a place of warnings, or "3 strike" rules. Permabans are arbitrary, depending on the mood of the admin at the time or frankly, how big of a jerk they are. You may be PERMANENTLY banned for the following things: Mentioning anime, saying popular/overused internet expressions, having an unfunny name, accidentally due to admin error, taking an important job (Captain,A.I.) and loving it up, Admin contacts you and you don't notice it in a sea of text, Asking the Admins to stop exploding random people, playing the game. The Unban appeals forum is littered with justified and grossly unjustified bannings.

FPzero
Oct 20, 2008

Game Over
Return of Mido



Oh, a new thread! One of these days I'll get back into playing a few rounds. It's been a while since I last played but it's always fun to revisit the station.

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005


Man the other servers ban people for way stupider poo poo who are they kidding

SpookBus
Aug 22, 2015


I had a wonderful time today as the worst AI of all time, watching a man fly around and crash through everything, including the engines, before eventually flying in to crash into my core and kill me. Also there was an indoor forest with a changeling hiding in it. 'Twas magical.

Malpais Legate
Oct 1, 2014



I think the one server with catpeople bans you for making fun of them under the pretense of being "racist."

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005


Malpais Legate posted:

I think the one server with catpeople bans you for making fun of them under the pretense of being "racist."

if this is the server I'm thinking of they have absolutely no grounds to lecture anyone about racism with some of the poo poo I've seen said there

Leal
Oct 2, 2009

If you LP what I LP
And if you work retail like I work retail
You would also scream like I scream


Malpais Legate posted:

I think the one server with catpeople bans you for making fun of them under the pretense of being "racist."

Be a doctor and tell any cat person patients that you're not a loving veterinarian.

Phrosphor
Feb 25, 2007

Urbanisation


Leal posted:

Be a doctor and tell any cat person patients that you're not a loving veterinarian.

If anyone complains just say you are channeling Bones McCoy.

SpaceClown
Feb 13, 2016

by FactsAreUseless


Death
Commandos

Node
May 20, 2001

KICKED IN THE COOTER


Taco Defender

I looked around in my images folders, and I found a screenshot of Space Station 13 way back from 2006. This was the only round I ever got picked as the traitor and won - thanks to a little help from fellow goon Maxxpower, wherever he may be. Such a boring, mostly text, screenshot, but it was one of the most thrilling two hours of my life. I imagine it has evolved a bit since those days.

Strudel Man
May 19, 2003
ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Hm. The needs thing (just in #1?) might need more fine-tuning. My thirst utterly bottomed out a few minutes after three sips of fortified wine. I drank some cola to recover, and apparently died of thirst while the thirst need was actually on an upward trend, at 17.

pnutz
Jan 5, 2015


ErikHanson posted:

Correction, the players suck

drat straight.

last time I got to be RD gang leader (this was back on goon1) I got the science MOMS and the 420 spray. I naturally hosed it up forever by choosing the science shower room (literally the smallest room on the map) as my HQ. because I placed it in a great location we got out-tagged immediately. The AI later got subverted by the jazz room gang (I was going to block them in with reinforced walls too) so while I was trying to killswitch it Jay Wolff joined the server, ran up and started killing me for no reason, until I blew up the whole mainframe room using the plasma lights and suffocated to death


apparently the winner just nerded it up in a room somewhere while every other gang leader managed to get themselves killed

Strudel Man posted:

Hm. The needs thing (just in #1?) might need more fine-tuning. My thirst utterly bottomed out a few minutes after three sips of fortified wine. I drank some cola to recover, and apparently died of thirst while the thirst need was actually on an upward trend, at 17.

wait, why would you suddenly catch The Sims like that on server #1?

also that disease is designed so you must die horribly. On the April fool's event some years ago when it was introduced I ended up trying to take a piss, and ended up pissing myself in the jumpsuit and died before I could wash

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Dont forget the joys of going blind because you forgot to manually *blink.

Or *breath.

Strudel Man
May 19, 2003
ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

pnutz posted:

wait, why would you suddenly catch The Sims like that on server #1?
I think it's official. It's not a super-quick thing under normal circumstances, and it's always there.

SMP
May 5, 2009



Man it's been years since I played, but I will always remember the greatest gaming experience I will ever have:



Godspeed, changeling buddy who helped defend my territory.

Drone_Fragger
May 9, 2007

VOTE
FOR
PEDRO


Maybe it's time for duke pukem to make a triumphant and traitor-busting return to SS13.

Dirk the Average
Feb 7, 2012

"This may have been a mistake."


Finally got back into this game. Played a couple of rounds and it's just as enjoyable as it ever was. I don't know why, but I really enjoy trying to patch people up and fix the station while everything goes to poo poo. It's cathartic for some reason.

Booty Pageant
Apr 20, 2012


running around the halls of cogmap1 makes me realise how safe it is compared to cogmap2

ChickenHeart
Nov 28, 2007

Take me at your own risk.



Kiss From a Hog

I think it's time to bring 'ol Bill Rizer out of the freezer.

Is Security still a thankless, highly-lethal job where your efforts at keeping the station safe are ultimately-futile and will 99% of the time lead you into arresting/killing the wrong suspect and turn the entire station and the admins against you?

'Cause I wouldn't have it any other way. (also issuing dumb joke tickets to the crew from a segway is the only thing that keeps me from eating my own stun baton)

Victory Position
Mar 15, 2004

Don't call me a hero.









Neddy Seagoon posted:

Dont forget the joys of going blind because you forgot to manually *blink.

Or *breath.

Or SIMS mode, where you will literally drop dead if the station is too filthy. The station is always filthy.

Houka
Mar 27, 2014


ChickenHeart posted:

I think it's time to bring 'ol Bill Rizer out of the freezer.

Is Security still a thankless, highly-lethal job where your efforts at keeping the station safe are ultimately-futile and will 99% of the time lead you into arresting/killing the wrong suspect and turn the entire station and the admins against you?

'Cause I wouldn't have it any other way. (also issuing dumb joke tickets to the crew from a segway is the only thing that keeps me from eating my own stun baton)

yes

Good luck being vaguely morally good, I'll be just keep being barely competent, happily violent and unhelpful. Seems to work out OK.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005



I finally have a working computer again and completely forget how to play. This should be fun.


edit:Oh God, it's a different map, where am I?

double edit: figured out how to blow myself up with the teleporter

GWBBQ fucked around with this message at 02:20 on Apr 12, 2017

SugarAddict
Oct 11, 2012


Someone posted in the last thread drivers needed for SS13 to run and the lighting to work correctly. Would anyone know about that?

SpaceClown
Feb 13, 2016

by FactsAreUseless


update direct x and byond

SugarAddict
Oct 11, 2012


SpaceClown posted:

update direct x and byond

https://forum.ss13.co/showthread.php?tid=6398
It's in the forums, .
Instead of running with screwed up lighting, it now freezes when I try to launch space station 13.

It gets stuck here:



I can't spessmans.
Updated to byond beta, and that seems to work now.

SugarAddict fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Apr 13, 2017

Amuys
Jan 2, 2017

Muuch Muuch


Apparently my corpse can still get high

Beepity Boop
Nov 21, 2012

yay


I don't think that's how Raise Dead works in D&D/Pathfinder but hey

Pacra
Aug 5, 2004

dom dom dom


SMP posted:

Man it's been years since I played, but I will always remember the greatest gaming experience I will ever have:



Godspeed, changeling buddy who helped defend my territory.

That was my admin traitor-gimmick-assigning round you are welcome

ChickenHeart
Nov 28, 2007

Take me at your own risk.



Kiss From a Hog

Colonial Marines server trip report:

The Good:

-Goofy-rear end SS13 combat occurring all over the place. I'm talking players skating around the jungle like it's Disney on ice, aliens colliding into walls from missed charges, and hilarious amounts of friendly fire.

-Colonist role has all the fun of being a terrifies human admist a swarm of monsters without the crushing waiting and rules-mongering that comes with being a marine!

-Last stands up the wazoo!

-Delimbing hapless victims never gets old.

The Bad:

-The server's dedication to roleplay leads to some really cringy poo poo, such as marines unironically spewing jarhead-speak and the constant, creepy "mommy" relationship the aliens have with the queen.

-Predators are really powerful and cool so they attract the biggest turbonerds that spend most of their time making spooky noises and gabbing about honor.

-Holy poo poo it takes forever for a round to start/end. The first hour consists of aliens vomiting goo all over the place and marines rp'ing on the Sulaco, then there's another half hour spent wandering the colony taking potshots at shadows, then an actual 20 minutes of action followed by another hour of mopping up surviving xenos/marines. I spent an entire evening just sitting through two games.

-No clowns.



In short, it's a ton of fun, robust combat marred by strict rules and a ton of needless fluff that extends the game needlessly. I'd kill for a version with Goonstation's style of rp-commitment and waves of Nanotransen clown commandos being sent to their early graves over a crate of Discount Dan's teriyaki-style corporate secrets hidden in an alien hive.

Thief
Jan 28, 2011



ChickenHeart posted:

-Predators are really powerful and cool so they attract the biggest turbonerds that spend most of their time making spooky noises and gabbing about honor.

Show yourself!!1

local chat posted:

Anytime. Anytime. Anytime. Anytime.

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012


Drone_Fragger posted:

Maybe it's time for duke pukem to make a triumphant and traitor-busting return to SS13.

no

Queering Wheel
Jun 18, 2011



I don't know when glass tables were added to the game, but they are my favorite minor feature by far. I love beating people up and throwing them through glass tables.

tweet my meat
Oct 2, 2013

yospos


Glass tables are super satisfying.

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Nakar
Sep 2, 2002

Ultima Ratio Regum


Queering Wheel posted:

I don't know when glass tables were added to the game, but they are my favorite minor feature by far. I love beating people up and throwing them through glass tables.
I am 100% sure the entire reason whoever sprited and coded them in did so because they wanted people to be thrown through them.

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