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SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Nyaa posted:

Ugh, have a dream about becoming the (unqualified) bodyguard of Trump after he got pissed off at America (or the other way around or both) and got a nation of his own. Then we travel lots of place to ask people to join his union, and he also flew us to Mars to claim that for himself, then take the Moon's flag on the way back. He quite a lenient and forgiving boss despite me forgetting to bring my gun, late to the job, etc.

Anyway, here's racial profile data for Dragner:
-------------------------------------



Race: Dragner

Physical Description and Habits
: Solid Liquid water elemental created from sorcery in long past. Their coloration relate directly to their diet and can modifies their properties. The image above shows the clear water and swarm water variant. Their decently high intelligent core are protected in their helmet-like head. Have little needs beside sustaining themselves in optimal condition.

Gender: Asexual (Jelly merge process is the answer formed in Trump's understanding), require cultivating core.

Lifespan: Three dozens years with wild-land diet. Adding clean water to diet increase lifespan significantly.

Combat Capability:
Melee morphing themselves the needed weapon or tools to get things done. Literally the T-1000, but can die from 'strong impact' of a shattered core. Become sluggish at dehydrating temperature. Prefer cold place or at least certain diet to gain lower freezing point.

Magic Capability: Low level water magic with focus on support type. Shaman-like tradition of the elemental variant.

Currently best for:
Stealth, assassination, multiple-opponents melee combat, puzzle/strategy, mobility 'resources', magic unit(?), and workers.

We should make sure we have good water in the city, sickly dying population is bad for business

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Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...
I believe you mean the best water

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

SniperWoreConverse posted:

We should make sure we have good water in the city, sickly dying population is bad for business
We do have brand new Industrial distill water filter system. Or chorine water for pool/fountain if you care about oral health.

No one know how to fix these equipment when it broke though.

Volmarias posted:

I believe you mean the best water

We can certainly pitch to the Hobbit to sell the best clean water! Or best cleaning/drinking chorine water!

Our equipment would broke sooner though.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

1) Write-in our demand/sell your pitch or whatever way you want to deal with this. We can stack up a bunch of deals, and you can post to ask the Hobbit in the thread. Anything violent or negative will require a bigger goon consensus to enact.

Questions for the Hobbit:

1 – As you are merchants to the rest of this world, can you provide me with a brief report of the other factions? What are their strengths in terms of military, economics, alliances, imports, exports, production, access to resources, etc? (Give me the Civ Faction Report!)

2 – Please give me a brief breakdown of the mercenaries available for hire, the costs, and specialties

3 – I aim to be the economic and trading powerhouse of this world, and it looks like you’re headed in that direction as well, perhaps there is room for a partnership?

4 – Tell me, are you just merchants, or, do you also hide spies in your trade missions?

5 – What are the major resources and currency in this world?

Nyaa posted:

2) Write-in. You may ask them anything to decides how Trump Land should growth. Everything is up to you. Only time will tell how it turns out.

Questions for our Jelly’s

1 – Give me a detailed breakdown of our cities, resources, production, import / exports, populations, treasury, etc (Give me the Civ City Screens!)

2 – Show me the current world map.


Policies for Trump-Land:

Combination of Commerce, Expansionist, and Infrastructure policies to the Win-State (so yes, I’m going for the Imperial Rome strategy):

Commerce – Control Trade with our neighbors and make it so we’re too ‘valuable’ of a trading partner to attack.

Expansionist – Slowly ‘creep’ out our borders by building trading ‘outposts’ and expanding ‘roads’ to vital resources.

Infrastructure – Build the best cities in the world that allows us to stack bonuses upon bonuses; follow the Rome and Madrid road-map and have clean water (fix that darn water filtration system) and fountains everywhere!

First things first, bump up our per turn income and hire at least a standing city garrison; rent outbuildings, send out trade missions, mine for fish, whatever it takes, and for goodness sake, get some mercs up in here so some random bandit crew doesn’t come in and rob us blind!


This is now a 4X game, and I know how to play 4X games! :ocelot: :)

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
Remember this is a free form game, so you aren’t restricted to civ game format.

CourValant posted:

1 – What are their strengths in terms of military, economics, alliances, imports, exports, production, access to resources, etc? (Give me the Civ Faction Report!)
You asked the midget for a full report on thr above, and he said this will cost a lot and might be slightly iutdated with what he have in hand now.

After raising the raised eyebrow 5 millimeter, you pushed your ‘Trump’ drinking mug towards the hobbit and told him this should be enough.

He inpecr the perfect factory made mug curiously, and ask what kind of smooth stone was this made of.

You briefly considered charging him for the name, but your business instinct tells you to give him this freebie.

“Ceramic.” You answered and say nothing more with a smile on your perfect 15 degree raised left lip.

The Hobbit stare blinkly when you say the name. Good, they don’t know about ceramic. After realizing you aren’t going to to diverge more, slight amount of sweat can be seen on his forehead. His smile is nervous as he replies, “interesting.”

After turning and inspecting the impossibly smooth surface of the mug a few more moment, he offers without meeting your eyes. “For this... Cup, I can only give you the ‘brief’ report. For the full-“

“Deal. Let’s heard the brief version.” You lean back on your chair. Victorious. He lowballed the brief report deal to make his full report deal looks better you knew he want full information of this ceremic, haha, you would rather trade that for better deal. Not that you know the ceramic recipe.

He sweat become more visable as he stare at you like a sad kid who got a crappy present on his birthday. He took a deep breath and then put the mug carefully into the bag. “Very well.” He conceded.


[Report come later]

Answering other questions on phone now

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

Remember this is a free form game, so you aren’t restricted to civ game format.

Cool, thanks! Its just difficult to get out of 'Civ Mode' now that my brain is processing the scenario in that manner.

I'll move on to abstractions and more free-form creativity once the basic framework has been established.

Btw thanks for being patient, had a busy weekend and didn't get a chance to write until today.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

CourValant posted:

2 – Please give me a brief breakdown of the mercenaries available for hire, the costs, and specialties
Let’s say you all can custom make the any merc to hire. Stronger/specialists merc will take much more more time to arrive. Could be months before their contract expire and available for hire. The best are generally hired by other faction by now.

quote:

3 – I aim to be the economic and trading powerhouse of this world, and it looks like you’re headed in that direction as well, perhaps there is room for a partnership?
The hobbit perk up at your question. “Absolutely! You-“ he eye around the room, “-would certain be able to afford the partner shares, and we could commercialize all these unique products of your.” He enthusiastically went into explains mode on the benefit of joining the hobbit market, approval for a trade guild in this city, supplies coverage, etc. everything sounded nice and dandy until... “ah yes, since you did ask about mercenaries, they are for protection, right? Not for war, right? Because we hobbit and partners must be neutral in the war, but surely you aren’t raising an invasion army with your business pursuit.”

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

The hobbit perk up at your question. “Absolutely! You-“ he eye around the room, “-would certain be able to afford the partner shares, and we could commercialize all these unique products of your.” He enthusiastically went into explains mode on the benefit of joining the hobbit market, approval for a trade guild in this city, supplies coverage, etc. everything sounded nice and dandy until... “ah yes, since you did ask about mercenaries, they are for protection, right? Not for war, right? Because we hobbit and partners must be neutral in the war, but surely you aren’t raising an invasion army with your business pursuit.”

Actually, my Dear Hobbit, I was thinking more along of the lines of a mutually beneficial arrangement between independent, separate factions.

Or, if you prefer, you can join me instead; rest assured, I have no plans to conquer the other nations through force of arms. Why break their things? I prefer my prizes whole and undamaged.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

quote:

4 – Tell me, are you just merchants, or, do you also hide spies in your trade missions?
He chuckled lightly. He can tell that is an admission even when he say we hobbit are good natured! We would NEVER be underhanded!” An answer did arrive when he revealed, “There’s no competition anyway. We are the biggest and best trade guild in the land.”

Monopoly, too big to fail, you like what you heard.

quote:

5 – What are the major resources and currency in this world?
Very medieval. Only common mineral are in wide use. Technology stangened with magic coexisted as alternative for many important, but infrequent task. Dwarf have the best smiting technique that is kept to themselves.

As for money, from your understanding, it’s as so in coin:

Tin = $0.01
Copper = $0.10
Bronze = $1.00
Iron = $10.00 (due to war, the lowest was at $2 during era of peace)
Silver = $100.00
Gold = $1000.00
Diamond (0.25 karat) = $10000.00

Most people would start writing contract or hobbit payment check when it hit diamond price since they are super rare.

Trump’s mind, however, automatically translate all transactions into AMERICAN DOLLARS from now on. He won’t think about these metal unless necessary because screw foreign currency!

Nyaa fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Dec 19, 2017

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

CourValant posted:

Questions for our Jelly’s

1 – Give me a detailed breakdown of our cities, resources, production, import / exports, populations, treasury, etc (Give me the Civ City Screens!)
Later.


quote:

2 – Show me the current world map.
The one I shown is current. Kingdom everyone is on stalemate or not moving yet.

CourValant posted:

Actually, my Dear Hobbit, I was thinking more along of the lines of a mutually beneficial arrangement between independent, separate factions.
What you are proposing require them to break their monopoly for your sake?

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

What you are proposing require them to break their monopoly for your sake?

Yes. Yes I am. Because (and I hate myself for even writing this) I am, The. Greatest. President.

/cringe

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Nyaa posted:

Trump’s mind, however, automatically translate all transactions into AMERICAN DOLLARS from now on. He won’t think about these metal unless necessary because screw foreign currency!

lol nice

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
how much to recruit mercenary geologist team? We need to survey available mineral wealth like clean coal or rare metals



what about guards



what's the treasury look like? how much do we have?

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

CourValant posted:

Yes. Yes I am. Because (and I hate myself for even writing this) I am, The. Greatest. President.

/cringe
The hobbit’s smile and enthusiasm faded. “I see...” he lamented. “Since you are providing unique and exotic products, we certainly can work this out without competitive issues...”

Unless you want to grow corn or potato to compete with the hobbits, selling our modern/exotic product to them will net us a lot of gold American Dollars.

SniperWoreConverse posted:

how much to recruit mercenary geologist team? We need to survey available mineral wealth like clean coal or rare metals
The cheapest (and slowest) option is to hire a geologist leading a group of slaves to work on it.

The best option is to hire dwarf with optional orc slaves to speed up production. They might not work well together, so it might be best to go all dwarf.

A full team of 12 professional dwarves will cost like $12000 per month. They will not miss any spot and handle everything professionally unless you use slave too.

Depends on how far you want to expand our border, it could take more time to survey everything.

quote:

what about guards
As answered before, you make a merc team and I decide their price and availability. Stronger merc are mostly hired by other war factions and their contracts might take awhile before they expired for new bidding.

quote:

what's the treasury look like? how much do we have?
As mentioned, it’s literally a dragon treasure horde due to all the modern top of the quality item being treated as treasure or expensive antique. If there is one thing our faction is good at, it is wealth.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?
Alright, just to keep things moving along and to make sure that we don't get wiped on the next game turn:

1) Hire an 'elite' Home Guard to defend the Capital City and to take care of the day to day security (man the gates, guard booths, city watch, patrols, etc.).

2) Hire an 'elite' 'Praetorian Guard' to be our personal security detail.

3) Hire 4 'veteran' ranger units and send them in each cardinal direction to scout our territory.

4) Hire 3 'Full Dwarven' Teams to begin geological surveys and mineral production.

5) Hire 3 'Professional Worker' Teams to begin improving the local area around the city (think city improvements in Civ)

6) Hire 3 'Professional Handyman' Teams to start fixing all the broken things around the Capital (water filtration systems?)

7) Hire 1 'elite' 'entertainment troupe' for . . . entertainment needs. :pervert:

8) Get a count and description of all our 'modern/exotic products' that can be used to jump-start our mercantile empire.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

CourValant posted:

8) Get a count and description of all our 'modern/exotic products' that can be used to jump-start our mercantile empire.
You ask how much the Hobbit would pay for more of those ‘ceremic’ mug, and he’s like “you have more of those!?” Then estimate about 1 gold $1000 per cup if the dwarf approves it... maybe higher if they can’t duplicate it.

- 8 units of human Trained guards to guard all four side of the castle city. $80.00 per month total.

- 1 elite human Praetorian King’s Guard. $150.00 per month

- 4 human vet ranger (don’t really need elves for own territory scouting mission), $200.00 per month total

- 36 dwarven teams will cover all directions of the territory. $36000 per month total. Fast and effective.

- Only Dwarf would have a chance at figuring out the modern construction, so... 4 more worker/handyman dwarf for $4000 per month.

40 dwarf would take a while to gather and arrive gradually from the (enemy) dwarf faction.

- King’s lady cost $20 a day, $600 per month.

Total: $44900 per month

drat, that’s a lot more than you expected to do all that and cover the whole city!

You have no choice but to grab a dimond ring which is slightly over 1 karat to cover the whole bill. The Hobbit salivating it through his eyes at the master workmanship again.

Note: 0.25 karat worth $10000.00

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

- King’s lady cost $20 a day, $600 per month.

:ninja: I'd pay $20 a day for my own 'King's Lady' :ninja:

And honestly, $50k a month in upkeep to run A City seems like a great deal to me!

Alright, now, down to the real business.

Let's get an inventory of what we have (modern goods), how much it might be worth, and start making some trades; also, need data on what resources we have access to, what we can produce, what we may be able to produce, etc.

Get that economy humming Jellies!

Finally, let's send envoys to each faction and start gauging their needs, wants, and surplus; might be easier if we tag along with the Hobbit sales team on the initial contact?

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

CourValant posted:

And honestly, $50k a month in upkeep to run A City seems like a great deal to me!
My bad, it's actually a Castle Town


quote:

Let's get an inventory of what we have (modern goods), how much it might be worth, and start making some trades; also, need data on what resources we have access to, what we can produce, what we may be able to produce, etc.
I might miss some inventory because it will be a huge list, but it can be made. Alternatively, it basically what a rich people's billion dollar home with build-in rec stuff plus castle stuff and wall. Then multiply but 100x price for antique/masterwork unique thing and 1000x or 10000x price for mechanical 'artifact' things that works by itself.

quote:

Finally, let's send envoys to each faction and start gauging their needs, wants, and surplus; might be easier if we tag along with the Hobbit sales team on the initial contact?
The hobbit would happily guide your uh... "Primitive Jelly Monster... uh... No, they are intelligent minions to do what you ask." But, "Are you sure you don't want to just buy that information or sell it straight to us and we will deal with the selling?"

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

I might miss some inventory because it will be a huge list, but it can be made. Alternatively, it basically what a rich people's billion dollar home with build-in rec stuff plus castle stuff and wall. Then multiply but 100x price for antique/masterwork unique thing and 1000x or 10000x price for mechanical 'artifact' things that works by itself.

In that case, don't worry about it; now that I understand what you mean by 'stuff', there's no need for you to waste your time with generating a complete list.

Nyaa posted:

The hobbit would happily guide your uh... "Primitive Jelly Monster... uh... No, they are intelligent minions to do what you ask." But, "Are you sure you don't want to just buy that information or sell it straight to us and we will deal with the selling?"

"Ahh, my good Hobbit, I wouldn't want to trouble you with the minutia of every single deal. Please, just arrange an introduction to each of the factions on our behalf. More to the point, why not just let us tag along on your next caravans?"

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
also hire two professional human druids to assist dragner elders in magicology

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

SniperWoreConverse posted:

also hire two professional human druids to assist dragner elders in magicology

Ooooh, good call.

Magical research should always be done in 3s; let's hire one Wizard, one Druid, and one Witch to jump-start the Magical-Things.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
we could go full evil and do it in 4s. Get a straight up evil guy as the 4th

actually I just said do druids because shamanistic stuff synchronizes well with how dragner already do it
I think we should only worry about other kinds if we can get actual human settlers or other races to permanently migrate in. (LEGALLY ONLY, ILLEGAL ALIENS ARE NOT THE BEST PEOPLE)

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
nyaa please confirtm that the guards will also patrol and investigate illegals

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

SniperWoreConverse posted:

nyaa please confirtm that the guards will also patrol and investigate illegals

Please don't. I play this game as satire and it keeps me from going insane due to the 24/7 news cycle.

Let's not actually be the real President.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

SniperWoreConverse posted:

nyaa please confirtm that the guards will also patrol and investigate illegals
Sniperworeconverse, i would need more detail on that. Is it a certain race like orc that you wish to ban as illegal?

We have current not established our border beside the castle wall and the imaginary line around the Castle Town where there is no wall. Anyone who sneak into your territory illegally would get send to jail anyway due to the standard After Invasion Clean Up policy.

Unless you want full open access for anyone to walk in anytime they want, which could improve immigrate, trade etc, while raising crime rate.

There’s certainly no doubt those drat beggars are going to try stealing shits in your town! That’s why we are hiring some real Police Brutality to combat crime! :cop:

It’s also possible to workout something if you allow the thieve guild to operate in the town... for public education or something.

We would also have to deal with disguise magic that can change the person race to another species and even that race’s skin color! What amazing acane ultility! Too bad not many ultra rich have their own physical bio scanner attach to each castle door. That’s what airport is for! Assuming magic doesn’t bypass technology. :v:

Fighter, mage, thieves guild would certainly help with that!

... Is what the hobbit told you while shilling their merchant guild for a spot in your town.

Edit: oh yeah, and slave guild.

CourValant posted:

In that case, don't worry about it; now that I understand what you mean by 'stuff', there's no need for you to waste your time with generating a complete list.
Right, you can simply imagine ultra richman like us would have a full size bank vault filled with gold and silver bars under our castle, etc. The hobbit might faint if he sees that though. :v:

Nyaa fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Dec 20, 2017

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

CourValant posted:

:ninja: I'd pay $20 a day for my own 'King's Lady' :ninja:
Forgot to mention: All king are expected to be generous and ‘tip’ the lady. :discourse:

with jewelry

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
IMO immagrents have to use the process. Come directly to gate, explain who they are and what they're doing here. If it's BAD HOMBRES, they get what's coming to them. Oh boy will they get it. Our crack team of TSA investigator mages and guards will know (when they are fully set up (support the troops (the troops will have the digital, the cyber, the swords, the spells, everything. The greatest. Greatest.)))

TOUGH ON CRIME, no theieves guild.

We are only going to have the BEST PEOPLE, so I say yes on fighter, mage, merchant guild, but slave guild is :sad: and will negatively impact property value
Maybe there should be a guild tax for revenue? Keep it low tho, too much red tape will stifle innovation

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

CourValant posted:

Ooooh, good call.

Magical research should always be done in 3s; let's hire one Wizard, one Druid, and one Witch to jump-start the Magical-Things.

Where's the Warlock? Gotta have a warlock for those situations that call for unending fountains of magic attacks. Seriously, mages for the front lines. Wizards are Sun Tzu, warlocks are Pershing.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
“Very well.” The hobbit begins to gathers his belonging after the SUCCESSFUL mercenary deal have concluded with a ‘cheap’ ring. “We will try to gather these mercenaries as soon as possible, and we looks forward have our representative living in this wondrous city… Whenever you settled on the ‘legality’ of the town law.” He gives a light bow with a final advice. “It would be best to build your own army when you have citizen, and it would be greatly beneficial to have many races both for economy and military variety.”

“Hold on.” I halted the leaving hobbit. “I also want some shaman and wizard to teach those jellies how to use their magic.”

The hobbit’s tired-face lights up with the prospect of new deal. “Ah, of course. It certainly won’t hurt to have magical talents at your disposal.” He stood there for a moment to think or recall something before continuing, “But unfortunately, magic user who are good enough to teach others are rare, more so during the war between factions. They would only stay with you if they live their environment for their personal research and advancement.”

“I have money.” I told the hobbit straight out the fact: Money can buy everything.

He chuckled a little and reply, “Yes, of course, building a wizard tower or whatever they like would certainly help to attract their interest.” Then he takes out another scroll to start writing on a new contract and explains the terms. “Due to the nature of the extreme rarity at this time, we cannot promise we will find one soon, but a monthly ‘finder fee’ will apply even if we fail to produce a result.”

“How much?” I asked with my eyebrow raised half way again and low my lip a little to show my serious barter game face. My hands fold under my chin, full attention to the midget that is trying to suck the trickle of packet change out of me.

He smiles. “Oh, since we hobbits have a network all over the friendly or neutral nations, we can have our numerous traders keep an eye for candidate while posting up recruitment notice everywhere. It would merely cost one silver ($100) per month for the best result!”

I lowers my eyebrow disappointingly and then raise the other both brow back to normal to show I am losing interest in this crappy deal.

The hobbit seems to get the clear expression and fumble his thumbs nervously while continuing, “What the person ask for will be a separate contract between you and them, but we won’t mind helping you to negoti-“

I hold up my palm to stop him. The lovely merchant in front of me is not worth the middleman fee. “I will deal with that, thank you very one.” The best negotiator is me, and considering if those wizard needing a wizard tower, I will have to do it myself.

“O-of course. Have a good day, President Trump.” He bow again to takes his leave for real this time.

Good. Another productive day. I am ready for some burger soon, but first, I need to inform the Chief of my accomplishment.

------------------------
“You called, President Trump?” The Chief (Dark Blue) of the Dragner summoned to my call at my table filled with half-eaten burger and fries. He seem to took a glance on the food on the table then sat down without further inquiry.

Clearing my throat with the Trump brand Volka, I greet him with my charismatic friendly face. “Welcome, welcome, Chief!” I stretch out with open arms to gesture friendship and familiarity. Then immediately goes down to business because I want to finish my burger. “I have finished my deal with the hobbit, and you are going get a wizard or whatever the other name is! The hobbit will find it!”

It’s hard to read through the helmet face as it stay motionless for a moment. Then, I can hear his friendly voice.

“Thank you, President Trump. You have shown great care of my people and going so far find the window-jump solution for our habitable needs.” His voice sounds genuine and pleased.

“Yes, of course I would. You are my best friend after all!” I continues my assault of friendship-talk with a serious face. “You people… Are important to me.”

The Chief paused for a moment and says, “Thank you.”

I can already imagine the tear is that leaking down his face. That poor fool. Now he will accepts all my proposal and plans as I explains all the other deal I made with the hobbit.

---------------------------------------

“I don’t see anything disagreeable in the deal, President Trump.” The chief agreed. “I am glad you are working hard on getting this town to settle properly in this world.”

“Yes. For the sake of Trump Land, I will negotiate hard to secure the safety and freedom of this nation.” I replied slyly. I bet he made a few sacrifices of acceptance in the name of friendship! HA! HA! HA!

----------------------------------------------------------
A few days passed with more hobbit visiting in between to sell their poo poo like a door-to-door salesman. I told them to come back when, I, need something. Preferably, after those Fighter, Mage, and Trade Guild are being established with material coming in day by day. If it’s anything, these hobbit works fast. Totally worth the pocket change, and have way better quality than those illegal Mexican job stealer.


Surprisingly, three dwarves arrived first. They are very enthusiastic with modern town technology.

Holy mikery! This city is fantastic! The metal are FLAWLESS!
By my ancestor! How did these contraction works!? I never see something so complex! It’s that a perfectly curve wheel!? What method does the metal smith do to make such a perfect circle!?
This city is like a lost treasure of the Dwarven God! It must be made by god himself! There’s no other way to explain this beyond-sanding-smoothness without magic!

The dwarves keep going blah blah blah in the town until sunset before they finally decided to meet with me at the round table. My god, they are fat midgets. They ‘begged’ to stay and study such wondrous device and many of their clansman would certainly moves into this city. They will do ANYTHING for such opportunity.

Anything, eh?
Write-in

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

Well if these dudes are so up on industry and science and such, they can bring their people and work as my reverse engineering division. I mean, they obviously can't leave once they start working on this stuff due to security reasons, but that's a core part of the deal. Explain patent law (I own all the patents, they can license for a big ol fee) and if they accept the particulars, we work on the smaller details.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
also they can move in and bring reasonable amounts of their clans, but they have to swear loyalty to trumpland (me) and cannot let the arts and skills be taken outside the city (NDA Agreement).
they cant NEEL during the anthem and have to show respect to the flags of this new nation, and support ARE TROOPs

explain the "many sides" philosophy of trumpland where there will be different people living here and if there is trouble they may be sentenced as BAD HOMBRES. If they send other midgets that are not their best people there will be trouble. They should send their best even if it's someone else not dwarves. So if dwarves want in they gotta prove it...

then there's stuff like foundations on the wizard towers, new guilds, prospect for ores, prepare to build THE WALL...

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
All those are resonable demands. But Dwarf is one of the warring nation, what if THEY ARE THE TERRORIST!? How can we know!? By their physical height!? :tinfoil:

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
noooo gently caress -- they're the perfect height for a nutshot! If we rely on that we'll know too late. We need to set up some system to vet these immagents. EXTREMELY VET them

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
I think magic is the only thing that can do these ‘vetting’ assuming it have been developed by someone. So you want to delay their entry until the mage guild is built by... Dragner? Your most trusted minions?

Or come up with whatever system that satisfy the paranoia... or REAL DANGER!? :sludgepal:

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
Hmm. We need to have background checks. ANyone who joins up needs to fill out full up frontal disclosure, describe why they want to immigrate, NDA agreement, and submit to random background check at any time. Then we have our security agency double check, and when we have security wizards we double check again. This is paid by reasonable application fee. After green card visa period they can go to permanent resident and eventually citizen, with reasonable checks and additional upgrade fee. Trump® GOLD™ being the best level of citizen and exclusive access to most luxurious part of the city.

Only GOLDMEMBER™ citizens can be councilmen (women? blob? council-thing?) so to show our generocity all current councilers should get premium upgrades.

Closer to citizen you have more options like own real land. maybe resident can start a real business. Visa is just work here and get the chance to be higher up. This gives inscentive to live and become Trump Bigly Citizen and stay loyal for a long term new life in the Best Country.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
If we introduce that idea to Trump, it could turn into the following with his businessman knowledge:

BRONZEMEMBER- Also known as VISA that allows holder to work and live in this city.

Women have less stricter requirement because Trump understood they are weaker than man, so he is doing it for Gender Equality!

Male child get vetted the same as growth man because they are annoying and breaks things.

SILVERMENBER - Full Citizenship who can own land in common area Permenantly*.

*Trump and Diamond members have the rights to revoke permanancy for the safety and concern of the city.

GOLDMEMBER - Luxurious city access and landownership.

DIAMONDMEMBER - Councils and higer tier goverment members.

Trump will always be Diamond by default and never downgradable by law.

Nyaa fucked around with this message at 14:52 on Dec 31, 2017

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...
Trump is enough of a marketer to realize that you don't want something called Bronze, even for working shlubs. Silver -> Gold -> Platinum -> Diamond.

These are, incidentally, named after the price you pay for them.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

Volmarias posted:

Trump is enough of a marketer to realize that you don't want something called Bronze, even for working shlubs. Silver -> Gold -> Platinum -> Diamond.

These are, incidentally, named after the price you pay for them.
Pretty sure Platinum isn't a thing during medieval era. They are discovered in the 1700, but sure, Trump don't give a drat about availability anyway.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Nyaa posted:

Pretty sure Platinum isn't a thing during medieval era. They are discovered in the 1700, but sure, Trump don't give a drat about availability anyway.

So the existence of platinum is where the fantasy world with orcs and gnomes falls apart? :colbert:

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Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

Volmarias posted:

So the existence of platinum is where the fantasy world with orcs and gnomes falls apart? :colbert:
shh spoilers...:ssh:

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