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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008




The Miz and Maryse started the show dressed as John Cena and Nikki Bella. Miz, who is now part of the Raw roster with Maryse, said Rule #1 of John Cena's House Rules clearly states no one can ever chant "Cena sucks." Of course, the crowd started chanting exactly that. Miz, as Cena, said the last time people saw us, they made people very happy because they were going to Hollywood. Maryse, as Bella, said Hollywood said we suck. Miz, as Cena, said Hollywood claimed they were robotic actors and the best thing they could do was come back to Monday Night Raw.

Dean Ambrose came out, so the Intercontinental Championship is back on Raw. Ambrose said it was good to see some familiar faces on Raw and acted like it was really Cena and Bella in the ring. Miz started to break the truth to him, but Ambrose got a line in saying once Cena starts talking, he doesn't stop for 20 minutes. Ambrose complimented Cena and Bella for beating Miz and Maryse because everyone knows they suck.

Miz said they were the "It" couple. The Superstar Shakeup brought them to Raw. Miz said he was Miz and she was Maryse, who took off her dark wig. Ambrose said, in that case...he kicked Miz and gave him Dirty Deeds.

Angle was on the phone in the back when Sami Zayn walked in. Zayn wanted to know if he was staying on Raw or going to SmackDown. Zayn wouldn't shut up as Angle looked like he was out of patience. Angle said Zayn has been important to Raw, but there's been a lot of interest from SmackDown. Maryse and Miz walked in upset about Ambrose's attack. Zayn interrupted and it led to Miz exchanging words. Angle ordered a match with Miz and Zayn tonight. Angle looked emotionally taxed as Raw GM just two weeks in.

Big E and Xavier Woods danced out. Big E. carried a Kofi Kingston doll in Kingston's absence becaus of his ankle injury. Woods said Kingston's spirit lives within this blow-up doll. Woods said New Day was hosting a job fair and told the Revival to come down and get this work.

The Revival defeated The New Day (8:49)

Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson came out wearing a RIP shirt for the New Day's ice cream cart, which they toppled over last week. Michael Cole said Wilder garnered comparisons to Dean Malenko. Big E. hit three belly-to-belly suplexes on Wilder, followed by a splash. Near fall after Dawson gave Big E. a neck snap and Wilder used a schoolboy cradle while holding the trunks. Woods got a tag. Big E. gave Dawson another belly-to-belly. Woods tried a coast-to-coast top rope elbow drop, but came up a little short. He landed on his knees, but dropped the elbow on Dawson's sternum for a two count. Finish was very well laid out. Wilder made a blind tag. Big E lifted Dawson for the Midnight Hour as Woods went to the top rope. Dawson slipped out behind Big E and threw him towards Woods, who jumped right into the Shatter Machine. Wilder pinned Woods for the Revivial's second straight win over the New Day.

Charly Caruso interviewed Neville backstage. He talked about facing Austin Aries again after Aries won on 205 Live last week. He said he's already proven that Aries isn't on the Neville level. T.J. Perkins came out and said somebody was going to make Neville eat his words someday. Neville said Perkins wouldn't get another chance at the championship. Neville said Perkins was the first cruiserweight champion, but now his career is a joke. Since 205 Live started, opportunities that were once reserved for Perkins now go to people like Aries. It seemed the only person that respected Perkins was him. Perkins looked like he was taking those words seriously. Aries walked in and said Neville was lying. Neville left. Aries asked Perkins if he believed Neville. Perkins just left.

It was later announced that Neville will face Aries for the Cruiserweight Championship at Pay Back.

The next SmackDown Live star to bolt for Raw: Curt Hawkins. He was in the ring saying this was the greatest get since the Louisiana Purchase. He wanted to start celebrating. The Big Show came out instead. Hawkins looked unhappy, then wanted to hug Hawkins. Show just knocked him out and left.

T.J. Perkins defeated Austin Aries (4:37)

Neville was on commentary. Perkins got booed, but the fans weren't that hot for Aries, who gave Perkins a plancha. Neville came down on the ramp and started arguing with Aries, nearly getting counted out. Aries got in the ring, but Perkins rolled Aries up in a small package for a pin. Neviile continued to jaw with Aries, who challenged Neville to get in the ring. Perkins then turned heel, jumping Aries from behind and giving him a Detonation Kick. Crowd chanted "You still suck" at Perkins.

Seth Rollins walked around backstage and talked with Enzo Amore and Big Cass.

Rollins came out to inform the fans about his status during the "Superstar Shakeup." Rollins didn't know if he was ever going to be able to have a conversation with the fans again because he put so much of himself into WrestleMania. He woke up after a war with HHH the next morning in more pain than he's ever been in before. But emotionally and mentally, he was at peace. He left it all in the ring and, most importantly, he did it. Then he corrected himself and said, "we did it. We slayed the king." He thanked the fans for giving him a second chance. He promised the fans that WrestleMania wasn't the finish line because he was just getting started on Raw. He wanted to settle a score with Samoa Joe and getting his hands on the Universal Championship. But based on Stephanie McMahon going through a table at WrestleMania, he may not get that opportunity. They replayed Stephanie taking the bump. Fans chanted "Thank you, Seth."

Seth said he probably won't be named Employee of the Month. Eventually, Stephanie will return to work and see Rollins, which will remind her of her failure and her husband's defeat at WrestleMania. Seth said it would probably be easier to deal with Shane McMahon on SmackDown Live instead of Stephanie. Crowd chanted "no." Seth said he took the easy way out once before and he won't do it again. That's not the man he wants to be. So he cut a promo on Stephanie saying he's not leaving Monday Night Raw without a fight.

Angle came out to the biggest pop of the show so far. Angle said it's true that Stephanie wants Seth gone. If they had this conversation two weeks ago before WrestleMania, he would be gone. But he saw something in Rollins at WrestleMania. Angle said his agenda was to put on the best show he possibly can, and his show has "Seth Freakin' Rollins." As long as Angle is GM, Rollins will have a home on Raw.

Angle left, but Samoa Joe ran in and jumped Rollins. Angle pulled Joe off of Rollins, who immediately made a comeback. Angle tried to pull Rollins off Joe, but Rollins gave Joe an enzuigiri and a superkick to knock Joe out of the ring. Joe started to get in the ring, but backed off.

Caruso interviewed Kevin Owens. Caruso said with Miz and Ambrose on Raw, how will it affect Owens? He said the cream always rises to the top, just like it did when he defeated Chris Jericho at WrestleMania. Maybe Caruso should ask Jericho how the Superstar Shake-Up could affect him? But then he remembered that Jericho wasn't here tonight. Owens said being the United States champion made him the face of America and the top champion on Raw. Caruso asked about Ambrose, the Intercontinental Champion, now being on Raw? Owens said that Ambrose should remember his place. Owens proclaimed himself the premier champion on Raw because Raw was the Kevin Owens Show.

Nia Jax defeated Charlotte (5:57)

Nia Jax did a shoulder breaker in Charlotte where she dropped her on her head. Jax put Charlote in a Cobra Clutch while the fans looked away from the match. For some reason, the Drifter walked around in the crowd with his guitar. But it was never pointed out by the announcers. That was strange. Charlotte used a chop block to hit Natural Selection, but Jax kicked out of one of Charlotte's finishers. Jax missed a shoulder block and hit the post, then Charlotte rammed Jax into the post. Charlotte did the moonsault off the post. Her face landed hard on the floor, but her legs caught Jax across the head. Charlotte went for the Figure Eight, but Jax sent her into the bottom turnbuckle. Jax hit a running splash and got the pin with a Samoan Drop. Charlotte was treated like a wrestler leaving the territory.

Finn Balor defeated Jinder Mahal (2:46)

Jinder Mahal clocked Finn Balor with a forearm across the head that looked like it nearly killed him. Balor came back with the Sling Blade, the drop kick and the Coup de Grace.

Suddenly, Bray Wyatt popped up on the screen saying Raw is his new home now. He brought a gift of Pay Back. He said in three weeks, the whole world will watch Wyatt defeat Randy Orton in a House of Horrors match at Pay Back He told Balor to watch himself because he was now watching Balor. Wyatt said "Monday Night Raw, I'm here" and he blew out his latern.

When Michael Cole, Cory Graves and Byron Saxton returned from the break, they played up Wyatt joining Raw but made no mention of Orton potentially joining Raw, even though Wyatt said he was wrestling Orton at Pay Back, which is a Raw PPV. They did announce Apollo Crews, Kalisto, Rhyno and Heath Slater officially joining Raw.

Sami Zayn defeated The Miz (7:36)

Miz did his Daniel Bryan chest kicks. Zayn caught Miz's leg and landed the Blue Thunder Bomb. Zayn went for the Helluva Kick, but Maryse pulled Miz out of the ring. Zayn chased Miz around the ring, but Maryse held his leg. Miz went for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Zayn reversed it into a victory roll for the pin. Cole called Zayn's win "an upset victory."

They announced Ambrose vs. Owens in a champion vs. champion match tonight.

Roman Reigns did a sit-down backstage interview with Cole. Reigns was asked if he felt any guilt about the speculation that his win over the Undertaker could be the Undertaker's final match. He said it was a bittersweet win. But he asked how do you prepare to retire a legend? He said he had to do what he had to do. He said it was his yard now and he was the big dog.

Just then, Braun Strowman attacked Reigns and launched him through a table. "Roman sucks" chants could be heard in the background as Strowman threw Reigns into a garage door repeatedly. Several referees and backstage personnel tried to step in, but Strowman gave Reigns the Oklahoma Stampede onto another road case. With Reigns laying against a wall, Strowman took one of the cases and rammed it against Reigns, then left. EMS put Reigns onto a stretcher, which got some cheers and even a "You deserve it" chant. Then Strowman took the stretcher and rolled it off a ramp, with Reigns supposedly on it. They did some clever editing to make it look like Reigns took the bump. The pop for Strowman grabbing the stretcher rivaled the reaction Angle got earlier. A panicked looking crew wheeled Reigns into an ambulance. But Strowman wasn't done yet. He popped onto the screen to massive cheers, chasing the EMS crew away. He punched Reigns a few times from the back of the ambulance, then closed the door, went over to the passenger's side, grabbed the ambulance from the bottom and turned it over onto its side. The ambulance was just left laying there with Reigns allegedly inside. This got Strowman over so much, he could run for mayor of Uniondale.

Somehow, Reigns was in one piece after all that. They found a dingy backup ambulance to carry him off, but the remains of the ambulance that was tipped over was in the foreground. Crowd gave Reigns the "Hey, Hey, Goodbye" treatment as he rode off into the darkness. Cole called it the most stunning display of strength he's scene in 20 years of being on Raw.

The Hardy Boyz, Cesaro and Sheamus defeated The Shooting Stars, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (7:48)

The Drifter came out after the Hardy Boyz entrance and walked beside the commentator's table. Jeff Hardy gave Primo the Twist of Fate. Cesaro and Sheamus clotheslined Karl Anderson over the top rope. Jeff Hardy gave Anderson, Primo and Luke Gallows the Poetry in Motion. Epico went for the back stabber on Matt Hardy, but Matt avoided it and gave Primo the Twist of Fate. Jeff Hardy pinned Primo after the Swanton.

Backstage, Dana Brooke was reading a book called "How to be Your own Protege." Emma walked up to Brooke and ordered her to go. Brooke didn't know what she was talking about. Emma reminded Brooke that Brooke was her protege before Charlotte picked her up. Now that Charlotte has dumped her, it was time for Brooke to follow her. Brooke said she's learning to stand on her own two feet and she's not standing beside her or anyone else anymore.

The announcers claimed Bayley was set to come out, but Sasha Banks showed up instead. Banks said she had some unfinished business, but introduced Bayley instead as "just Bayley." Bayley came out and thanked Banks for the introduction. Bayley said she wanted to say something she's been waiting to say since WrestleMania. She thanked the fans for sticking by her from the first day she was in NXT, and if it wasn't for them, the 12-year-old that still lives inside of her wouldn't have had her WrestleMania moment.

Banks said WrestleMania didn't go the way it wanted it to, but she congratulated Bayley. But that WrestleMania moment was over. It looked like Banks was finally ready to go heel.

Then Alexa Bliss came out to a big reaction. Bliss said she was going to throw up listening to Bayley, she was a two-time Smackdown Women's Champion and said she had arrived to Raw. Bliss said she was ready to put the SmackDown Live drama behind her.

Then Mickey James walked out. James said she has arrived on Raw. She said she might be "the greatest women's champion of all time" and the only six-time women's champion. James said Bliss' drama wasn't over and her nightmare has just started. Jax came out and gave James a running bodyblock. Bliss pushed Banks into Jax, who threw her out of the ring. Jax gave Bayley a Samoan Drop and said the Raw Women's Championship was hers. Jax gave Bliss an evil stare as she left. Bliss laughed at the fallen bodies around the ring.

Cole reported that Reigns suffered cracked ribs and a possible separated shoulder following the attack from Strowman, who was removed from the building.

Intercontinental Champion Dean Ambrose defeated U.S. Champion Kevin Owens in a nontitle match (14:12)

Owens listed Ambrose from a Samoan Drop position and threw him into a post, leading to a countdown tease. Owens nailed the old Go Home Piledriver, but Ambrose got his knees up on an senton attempt. Ambrose used a tope for his comeback, hitting a swinging neckbreaker. Ambrose went for a bulldog, but Owens threw him off and attempted the cannonball, but Ambrose blocked it, crotched him off the top rope and jumped off the top rope with a clothesline for a near fall. Ambrose went back to the top rope, but Owens rolled out of the ring. Ambrose jumped to the floor with a flying elbow. Ambrose jumped off the top rope, but Owens caught him with a knee, then used the Steenalizer for another near fall. Owens tried a Pop-Up Power Bomb, but Ambrose blocked it. After a series of counters, Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds for the pin.

Postmatch, Jericho came out and gave Owens a codebreaker. Fans chanted "Y2J."
____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • Kevin Owens opened the show to announce he is now on Smackdown and is the new face of America. Baron Corbin interupted to challenge him for the US Title, but then Sami Zayn showed up too much to Owen's disgust. AJ Styles came out next to a huge ovation. Daniel Bryan announced that Owens vs Jericho for the US Title is already booked for the next PPV and that can't be changed, however the winner of that match will be on Smackdown. He announced Corbin vs Sami vs AJ Styles for the Number One Contenders spot for the US title, to face off against either Jericho or Owens after the PPV.

  • Randy Orton faced Eric Rowan in a match. Bray interupted on the titantron to talk about the House of Horrors match coming up at the PPV. After Bray was done, Randy went outside the ring to finish beating up Rowan who hit him with the steel steps, DQing himself but putting a beating on Orton.

  • The Usos successfully defended their Tag Titles against American Alpha, getting the pin on Chad Gable when he missed a tag and got blindsided by the legal opponent. The Shining Stars ran in after the match and assaulted American Alpha.

  • Mojo Rawley defeated Jinder Mahal, with Rob Gronkowski watching in the front row. At one point Mojo got Jinder on the barricade and had Gronk throw beer in Jinder's face in retaliation for what happened at Wrestlemania (where they also got retaliation).

  • Shane McMahon came out and called out the Women's Division (including James Ellsworth). Ellsworth critiqued Naomi (he called her a horrible champion) who threatened to beat him up. Shane introduced the new woman recruit - an amazing second generation athlete with a Hall of Fame father.... TAMINA SNUKA! After Tamina came out, Shane called out Charlotte Flair.

  • There was a graphic announcement that Kalisto had been traded for Sin Cara, and that the currently injured Rusev is now part of the Smackdown roster.

  • Aiden English (partner of former Vaudevillain Simon Gotch) reintroduced his old NXT singing gimmick. He was cut off by Tye Dillinger who defeated him in a match.

  • Lana is also coming to Smackdown, and apparently has some kind of dancing gimmick now.

  • Dolph Ziggler was doing a promo about how the shine will soon wear off the new Smackdown guys and he'll still be there. Shinsuke Nakamura cut him off and Dolph demanded to know who he thought he was, which kicked off a giant NAKAMURA chant from the crowd. Finally Shinsuke replied, and blocked Ziggler when he tried to superkick him. The crowd sang Shinsuke's theme to finish the segment.

  • New Day are coming to Smackdown, but it was announced as part of a graphic.

  • TJ Perkins called Austin Aries a loserweight.

  • AJ Styles defeated Sami Zayn and Baron Corbin in a triple-threat number one contender's match for the US Title. AJ will now face the winner of Kevin Owens vs Chris Jericho.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 03:02 on Apr 12, 2017

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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Talking Smack is just Shane glaring at a quiet Bryan for half an hour

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

its cool that no one else can make a thread btw

Erebus
Jul 13, 2001

Okay... Keep your head, Steve boy...

Remember how Nakamura's dumb debut was supposed to hint at a feud with Miz

nooneofconsequence
Oct 30, 2012

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Smackdown:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZrDFbV66Mo&t=173s

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

KungFu Grip posted:

its cool that no one else can make a thread btw

Close this thread and ill make a new one.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
I'll always have MITB and Battleground I guess. :smith:

ribtstu
Feb 11, 2017

Erebus posted:

Remember how Nakamura's dumb debut was supposed to hint at a feud with Miz

yeah who the freak is he gonna face now? roman?

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


KungFu Grip posted:

its cool that no one else can make a thread btw

My laptop's on the fritz at the moment. loving lol at even attempting to make threads on mobile

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

ribtstu posted:

yeah who the freak is he gonna face now? roman?

AJ.

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

I just finished AJ's book. If you're looking for a wrestling book, don't waste your time. Most of it is about her upbringing.

But it's a quick and entertaining read. She had a super hosed up life but overcame it all and it was uplifting to read.

If you're a fan of AJ, I'd say read it. If you want wrestling stories, there's really no point.

In the acknowledgements she says she wants to thank the ladies she worked with using their real names and the last one she names is Big E :laffo:

Also, I think she lost her virginity to Trent? because I can't think of anyone else whose real name was Greg and was around at that time. He's a very nice dude apparently.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
Golden Truth will go to SmackDown.

SmackDown will make you care about Golden Truth same way it did with Slater and Rhyno.

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I'll always have MITB and Battleground I guess. :smith:

The_Rob
Feb 1, 2007

musicals are garbage

Erebus posted:

Remember how Nakamura's dumb debut was supposed to hint at a feud with Miz

No not really. He just came out and ignored them. It could turn into a feud but honestly didn't do anything to set it up.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

VJeff posted:

Golden Truth will go to SmackDown.

SmackDown will make you care about Golden Truth same way it did with Slater and Rhyno.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laEN-0taX2I

:cry:

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



VJeff posted:

Golden Truth will go to SmackDown.

SmackDown will make you care about Golden Truth same way it did with Slater and Rhyno.

Joke's on you, I already care about them!

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

That Braun Strowman segment was one of the best things I've seen on Raw in quite some time. The crowd cheering along to everything was great too.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

KungFu Grip posted:

its cool that no one else can make a thread btw

I actually made a thread and was just about to post it when I refreshed the forums and saw yours :)

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

wait so that's not why finn's face was all red and hosed up, what caused that?

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Jerusalem posted:

That Braun Strowman segment was one of the best things I've seen on Raw in quite some time. The crowd cheering along to everything was great too.

Shame it won't lead to anything other than "conquering hero" Roman squashing Braun in an ambulance match to massive boos.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Shame it won't lead to anything other than "conquering hero" Roman squashing Braun in an ambulance match to massive boos.

Maybe I'll just have to enjoy the thing I saw tonight without worrying about something bad that might happen in the future then!

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

So. Question.

Why do they keep putting Jinder in matches with top guys where he stiffs the everloving poo poo out of them?

Go RV!
Jun 19, 2008

Uglier on the inside.

KungFu Grip posted:

its cool that no one else can make a thread btw

i was making a thread but i was rewriting the recap instead of just copy/pasting it :colbert:

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

VJeff posted:

So. Question.

Why do they keep putting Jinder in matches with top guys where he stiffs the everloving poo poo out of them?

Look at the striations! :vince:

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?

shiksa posted:

wait so that's not why finn's face was all red and hosed up, what caused that?

Watch him face plant into the ring. Didn't even catch himself.

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo

wandler20 posted:

Watch him face plant into the ring. Didn't even catch himself.

That was a down if I ever saw one, holy poo poo.

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

VJeff posted:

So. Question.

Why do they keep putting Jinder in matches with top guys where he stiffs the everloving poo poo out of them?

Bob Mahali.

Vaah
Dec 25, 2008

:shittydog:



Sure jinder just send Finn right back into injury recovery

ijii
Mar 17, 2007
I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.
rip smackdown

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED
Just when I thought I couldn't care about Braun anymore he goes and does something like this

AND TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF

tao of lmao
Oct 9, 2005


Blammo!

Evil Canadian
Sep 10, 2000

No one man should have all that Psycho-Power.

WHO IS THE DRIFTER?

what was that I don't understand, what was that.

will he save raw?

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED

Evil Canadian posted:

WHO IS THE DRIFTER?

what was that I don't understand, what was that.

will he save raw?

He will either save it or destroy it. There is no middle ground with The Drifter

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo

Evil Canadian posted:

WHO IS THE DRIFTER?

what was that I don't understand, what was that.

will he save raw?

NXT jobber.

It was a jobber with a wanderer gimmick.

No.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

Jerusalem posted:

I actually made a thread and was just about to post it when I refreshed the forums and saw yours :)

thanks, I should have just DM'd you anyway instead of posting in the old thread. (also I made it the Raw tag as a joke)

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Vaah posted:

Sure jinder just send Finn right back into injury recovery

dont hinder the jinder


gonna lol if jinder gets a surprise drug test if he actually knocked finn's lights out

Heavy Metal
Sep 1, 2014

America's $1 Funnyman

Turning on Jericho gave Owens brain damage, now he talks really slow.

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006

https://twitter.com/BraunStrowman/s...view-4-10-17%2F

Based on the time stamp, after flipping the ambulance Braun went back to his locker to Tweet.

ICR
Dec 31, 2008

So, I am so sorry to put this in the air but our new global nightmare has begun.

Smackdown has been poached and nobody is left.

Except for cool dudes AJ and Nakamura. And I am having a nightmare.

I am having a nightmare because JBL is probably going to be forced to wrestle now with this limited roster and he will probably be put into the next title match.

He will also probably bully AJ and Nakamura so hard that they quit WWE and wrestling forever.

Im having some dark thoughts after Raw tonight.

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Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"


I've decided that Jinder's body has to be natural because it would be the funniest possibility

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