Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy

Foreman Domai posted:

What about the day of the assassination itself? I remember reading somewhere that, contrary to most theories, Oswald was quite capable of pulling off the shots himself without a second or third gunmen.
Yeah the second gunman theory stretches credulity a bit. You can go up in the building, which is a museum now, and have practically the same view that Oswald did. My shooting is no great shakes but even I went up there and thought "drat, he was close!" Kennedy was practically on Oswald's front porch and the Carcano he used is a mean, high-powered rifle.

From Oswald's perspective, Kennedy was also traveling (what's the word?) ... medially? Kennedy was moving away from him at a slight angle, so Oswald didn't have to "lead" him or move his rifle much to stay on target. Think of it like shooting someone in the back as they run away from you. A shot from the grassy knoll would've been lateral, with a gunman following Kennedy with a gun as he moved from left to right, which is a much more difficult shot. Just knowing basic shooting skills and going there, it's obvious Oswald could've domed him.

In fact, me and my dad were standing there going "mmmhmm yup that'd been easy" in our King of the Hill voices and a guy also up on the sixth floor heard us and went :mad:

I'd say the second gunman and bullet trajectory stuff is also attractive to a certain kind of engineer-tech (autistic) crank personality, as if the conspiracy could be solved with a math formula.

But of course this is separate from the extremely harrowing connections between Oswald, the intelligence agencies and Cubans. :tinfoil:

BrutalistMcDonalds has issued a correction as of 04:58 on Apr 16, 2017

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
Were none of you people alive to play JFK: Reloaded?

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy

hakimashou posted:

Were none of you people alive to play JFK: Reloaded?
That is one of the greatest video games of all time.

IMO Oswald should've turned up the settings IRL to chaotic and shot the driver so the car would've driven out of control and flipped.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel

Wikkheiser posted:

That is one of the greatest video games of all time.

IMO Oswald should've turned up the settings IRL to chaotic and shot the driver so the car would've driven out of control and flipped.

Yup, or shot the dude riding on the back when it turns so he falls under the wheels and it spins out.

I probably have 100 hours in that stupid amazing game.

Merlot Brougham
Dec 16, 2004

The White Darryl Strawberry


Salad Prong
I wouldn't call anything a conspiracy, I would call conspiracy theorists ignorant of the value in having friends in high places.

Here are my lower middle class conspiracies:

Some people happen to be friends with a member of the deputy sheriff's men's league hockey team so they are cut a break.*
Some people happen to be friends with the son of a local lawyer who was drinking buddies with the judge before he became judge so they get a break on petty possession charges.*

Talent will get you places, but it is entirely about who you know. Some people just have drinking buddies in higher society. What's the conspiracy here? Friends call in favors for friends and the rich and powerful do it too.

*Only whites need apply.

Merlot Brougham has issued a correction as of 01:09 on Apr 18, 2017

Man Musk
Jan 13, 2010

Donald Trump is a Hillary Clinton plant

Merlot Brougham
Dec 16, 2004

The White Darryl Strawberry


Salad Prong
I just realized that by definition, everything I describe above is technically a conspiracy, but I hope you understand the meaning in the spirit of the thread. I.E. Everyone that's owl-loving at Bohemian Grove isn't there to actively conspire. They're on holiday. Worry about what's going on when they AREN'T at Bohemian Grove.

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy
Ah here's one: The older brother in the Boston Marathon bombing was a U.S. intelligence asset when he went back to Russia for awhile (snooping on the Chechen community) and then got burned, so he radicalized. His uncle, who helped him and his brother immigrate in 2003, was once married to the daughter of Graham Fuller: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graham_E._Fuller

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
I think that the fluoridation of water is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.


OP
POE
EE

Trumps Baby Hands
Mar 27, 2016

Silent white light filled the world. And the righteous and unrighteous alike were consumed in that holy fire.

hakimashou posted:

The government really does inject people with alien DNA.

It's actually the other way around.

A long, long time from now, the "extra-terrestrial" civilization ("extra-dimensional" is a better descriptor) that has been haunting us for centuries reached an endpoint in their evolution. They were totally homogenized, with no ability for change or adaptation. That's why they came to Earth, seeded it with the creatures that would eventually become Homo Sapiens, and now abduct people to interbreed with human women. They're introducing new genes and adaptations into their race.

This has been going on for thousands of years. Because these beings exist transdimensionally, they are not bound by time, and can bounce around the human timeline at will. In the past we had different names for them, but it was always just one thing. There are tons of legends of trickster fairies kidnapping human women, mating with them, and then coming back later to steal away the child born of that union, sometimes when they're still in the womb.There are the stories of men being seduced by succubbi, deadly demons that steal men's seed for their own dark purposes.

The "Aliens" even show up in the Bible, in the Book of Genesis



And you know what the best thing is? The government knows all about this. They signed a treaty with the creatures and pretty much have to tolerate all their activities (what other choice do they have?).

So, that means that right now Donald Trump is having to negotiate big, beautiful deals with extra dimensional fairies who have been kidnapping and impregnating human women for millenia.

Red Dad Redemption
Sep 29, 2007

here is my theory:

we are all tricked into grinding out miserable, largely alienated existences as wage slaves and then we die

Proust Malone
Apr 4, 2008

Yossarian-22 posted:

Since I'm Jewish, all of them are in fact my conspiracies :smuggo:

But especially the thing about the CIA selling cocaine to crips/bloods to fund the Contras in Nicaragia and then pressuring Gary Webb into committing suicide. I legit believe that happened

I don't think they were involved in his suicide, but they did get him fired and ruined his life... which then led him to take his own life.

Brother Friendship
Jul 12, 2013

that i was alive this whole time

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
david stern rigged the nba draft to send patrick ewing to the knicks

he also sent gary bettman to the nhl to ruin that league but no one could have saved stickpuck from itself

Rand alPaul
Feb 3, 2010

by Nyc_Tattoo

hakimashou posted:

Were none of you people alive to play JFK: Reloaded?

That game made me convinced Oswald was the only shooter because oh boy was he lined up perfectly.

Also I thought any cover-up about the assassination was the government trying to make itself look better while privately disciplining a bunch of inept/incompetent field agents who let a deranged Soviet cosplayer near the president with a high-powered rifle.

crazy cloud
Nov 7, 2012

by Cyrano4747
Lipstick Apathy

Robotnik Nudes posted:

4chan accidentally learned chaos magick and hosed up reality with memes and may have invoked an ancient frog god to lead us into the new Aaron of Weird rear end Fake Dystopian bullshit.

:same:

Agnosticnixie
Jan 6, 2015
I still feel like the reveal that Richard Aoki was supposedly a FBI informant was far too well timed to demoralize anyone who might consider listening to the old panthers.

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN

Foreman Domai posted:

What about the day of the assassination itself? I remember reading somewhere that, contrary to most theories, Oswald was quite capable of pulling off the shots himself without a second or third gunmen.

There's conflicting witness testimony about where Oswald was immediately before, during and after the assassination. It's not just a question of whether he could have made the shot(s), or whether the single bullet theory put forward by the Warren Commission makes sense. It's also a question of whether Oswald would have had time to smuggle a rifle into the book depository, set up a sniper nest hidden by boxes, kill the President, and then slip downstairs in time. Some people have argued, with at least some persuasiveness, that the official timeline of the shooting doesn't match properly with the testimony of witnesses who saw Oswald eating in the break room very shortly after the killing. There are also all kinds of unanswered questions about JFK's autopsy and whether the wound in his neck was an entrance or exit wound, etc.. Other loose ends include witnesses claiming to have seen a gun man in the sixth floor book depository window at a time when witnesses placed Oswald elsewhere in the building, and the ambiguous evidence revealed by the Zapruder film.

My interest was always more on Oswald's seemingly numerous and strange connections to US intelligence, the Mafia, and Cuba, and also the fact that contrary to what you think a lot of government officials and investigators have actually stated that the evidence strongly suggests Oswald had a deeper relationship with the CIA than has been officially acknowledged, and in general the fact that the Warren Commission was very clearly, from day one, meant to conclude that Oswald acted alone (with LBJ openly telling people that any conclusion hinting at a conspiracy would risk a nuclear confrontation). I feel much more qualified to form opinions on those topics than I do when it comes to witness testimony or ballistics for a crime that occurred more than half a century ago. Sure there are some contradictions in the official timeline, but shootings are often confusing events and this wouldn't be the first time that eye witnesses contradicted each other.

Here's a short but citation-rich argument that Oswald couldn't have been the shooter, but like I said, I've never really felt like I could intelligently evaluate this argument.

Fidel Castronaut
Dec 25, 2004

Houston, we're Havana problem.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

:coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot:

whats this particular conspiracy? that it was sunk by jews?

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel

Al! posted:

whats this particular conspiracy? that it was sunk by jews?

"globalists"

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747
Alex Jones is just a tv show character

The_Politics_Man
Aug 25, 2015
Alex Jones is a plant.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747
danny devito was an inside job

The_Politics_Man
Aug 25, 2015
Obama did 3/11 so he could sweep ranch legalization under the rug.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747
The choom gang are the most dangerous criminal enterprise in the continental united states

Fidel Castronaut
Dec 25, 2004

Houston, we're Havana problem.

Al! posted:

whats this particular conspiracy? that it was sunk by jews?

ice(((BERG)))

crazy cloud
Nov 7, 2012

by Cyrano4747
Lipstick Apathy

holy poo poo

Tingfinder
Oct 21, 2013
Starting to think some poo poo is happening in France.

Refugee camp magically burns down completely, and they are refused to re-settle, then the fascist Le Pen struggles in Polls, so magically they arrest some terrorists and find explosives, and now deploy 50k police officer to ensure that people's fear cause her to get elected. I'm loosing my drat mind here, i think.

Tingfinder
Oct 21, 2013

Trumps Baby Hands posted:

crazy alien stuff

Why do you always have to go full retard? Aliens have long been proven to be a plot of the US military to prevent people from looking into the military tech they are testing, it is called perception management. Richard Doty, a retired United States Air Force Office of Special Investigation agent, has gone into detail about how this is done.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel

Tingfinder posted:

Why do you always have to go full retard? Aliens have long been proven to be a plot of the US military to prevent people from looking into the military tech they are testing, it is called perception management. Richard Doty, a retired United States Air Force Office of Special Investigation agent, has gone into detail about how this is done.

Lol that they tricked you with that transparent BS cover up of aliens.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Tingfinder posted:

Starting to think some poo poo is happening in France.

Refugee camp magically burns down completely, and they are refused to re-settle, then the fascist Le Pen struggles in Polls, so magically they arrest some terrorists and find explosives, and now deploy 50k police officer to ensure that people's fear cause her to get elected. I'm loosing my drat mind here, i think.

The only situation where the people currently holding institutional power would help Le Pen win would be after the first round and Melenchon was the other option for the runoff.

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004
Fun Shoe

Trumps Baby Hands posted:

So, that means that right now Donald Trump is having to negotiate big, beautiful deals with extra dimensional fairies who have been kidnapping and impregnating human women for millenia.

I can't think of anyone more suited to this than Trump.

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN

Baloogan posted:

I can't think of anyone more suited to this than Trump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQI5F76piDo

Tingfinder
Oct 21, 2013

Byolante posted:

The only situation where the people currently holding institutional power would help Le Pen win would be after the first round and Melenchon was the other option for the runoff.

I want to believe this. I used to want to be a historian, but don't really see the point anymore, with so much secrecy how are historians supposed to write history.

Karl Barks
Jan 21, 1981

cspam is a cia psy op

Laphroaig
Feb 6, 2004

Drinking Smoke
Dinosaur Gum
you are all dumb like a baby

we are secretly ruled by ancient Egyptofascists

Masonic Illuminati Reptohiminid Egyptofascists.


"City of London + City of Vatican + City of columbia are the 3 independant states within states wich composes the empire of the city. The first is financial control over earth economy, the second is religion control over the earth and the third one is military control over the earth. Together they make the very unholy trinity which forms the egyptian pyramid that we can see on the back of the privately owned federal reserve note that is used as american dollar to maintain the colony in debt and under the Queen. Many people realize that this mystifying situation, in which an alleged democratic and self-governing nation is actually controlled against the will of the people, is a clear indication that there must be a very powerful and well-financed occult organization which plans and directs world affairs, and for lack of a more specific identification thie suspected secret organization is popularly referred to as the International Financiers, Banksters cartel or "The Crown corporation"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8Ihlxqz4FI

WHEN YOU SAY "AMEN" AT THE END OF A PRAYER

YOU ARE SAYING "AMON-(RA)" and its a prayer to the ancient egyptian gods

im on the net me boys
Feb 19, 2017

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhhjjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cannabis
I have unironically believed that 911 was an inside job for 10 years

Proust Malone
Apr 4, 2008

Baloogan posted:

I can't think of anyone more suited to this than Trump.

Donald "Kvothe" Trump

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Trumps Baby Hands
Mar 27, 2016

Silent white light filled the world. And the righteous and unrighteous alike were consumed in that holy fire.
9/11 was the result of four separate airline pilots having a series of seizures that caused them to crash their planes into buildings/empty fields, all on the same day within hours of each other. This was so cosmically unlikely that the government had to scramble to invent a terror attack narrative, because they knew the populace would never accept the bizarre truth.

  • Locked thread