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Nov 28, 2002

"I didn't fight a secret war in Nicaragua so you can walk these streets of freedom bad mouthing lady America, in your damn mirrored su

I've bought tickets from scalpers standing out in front of sports venues dozens of times. Saved hundreds of dollars and ended up with some great seats. Roll to a baseball game on a Tuesday, chill outside drankin' beers until the second inning, then query the gentlemen scalpers as to who would like to sell me a couple tickets instead of ultimately eating the cost of the ticket themselves. That poo poo ain't gonna come close to 40% occupancy on a Tuesday, and it's almost the third inning, you're gonna eat that poo poo son unless you sell to me at a price I consider reasonable.

Now here in DC, when you approach one scalper and begin bargaining, you may find them allied with a hype man who lurks nearby. Example:

scalper: Give me $60 for both, you won't find better 100 level seats!
grellgraxer: Yeah man those are good seats, but the games already started, I'll give you $30, you're not going to sell them.
hype-man: (top of his lungs) Yo gently caress that poor-rear end bama, he ain't got any money!

The idea is to publicly embarrass me into paying more. I am typically pretty buzzed by this point, so the screaming isn't as cringe inducing as it normally would be. I assume the hype man gets some kickback. Three questions:

1. Has anyone ever been ripped off with a bunk ticket? Half the time I buy tickets these days, they are printed out on a piece of paper which could easily be forged (change the date with photoshop), or copied and sold to multiple people. But I have never once showed up to the gate, had my ticket scanned, and been denied entry. 100% good tickets.

2. Is the reason scalpers typical don't rip people off because they assume the other scalpers will beat their rear end? I can't imagine they want rumors of bunk tickets being sold from their spot.

3. Any good scalper stories, anyone ever street scalp for a living?


Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich

Once I brought two tickets from a chick that could not go to a movie at the last minute.

I was really pleased as people had been queueing for days to get into the premiere. I got the tickets for face value and walked right in.

It was the phantom menace. I regretted it.

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