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Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




I lost a bet.

Now I gotta do this.

Here's how it'll go down:

1.) I watch all seven episodes of Allen Gregory.

2.) I post seven episode summaries to prove that I really did watch each one.

3.) I hate myself and think long and hard about my poor life choices.

I honestly don't recommend reading this thread, and that isn't some fakeass Lemony Snicket warning this is a serious "No, really, nothing about this is going to be fun or enjoyable for anyone" warning.

Except the first episode summary later tonight after I get off work.

I have no one to blame for this but myself.

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PassTheRemote
Mar 15, 2007

Number 6 holds The Village record in Duck Hunt.

The first one to kill wins.

Space Cadet Omoly posted:

I have no one to blame for this but myself.

I'd agree, since you bet having to watch Allen Gregory.

But I will watch, because this thread is going to be a fun one.

Plom Bar
Jun 5, 2004

hardest time i ever done

I got through two episodes and holy poo poo how in the gently caress did Jonah Hill ever get work

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013


Allen Gregory is a fine, smart show that was cancelled before its time. You lot wouldn't recognize a good show if it was named Uwe Boll and punched you in the face.
I mean, how could you not like a show with memorable, relatable characters like

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007



you poor, poor bastard

for the safety of this thread, please don't watch the show along with the OP. it is super bad (reference to the movie with Jonah Hill not intended)

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011



Allen Gregory is yet another brick in the 'conservative humor doesn't exist' wall but it's especially bad just for how boringly stupid it is. It's just like those CBS shows that are all "MILLENIALS? WHAT IS THIS YOUR...SAFE SPACE???" and that's the joke, they just said a thing that they know their target demo hates.

At least Judge's terrible 'parody of liberal life' show had fuckin Mike Judge writing it so there were a few solid jokes and had storylines that weren't entirely just "LIBERALS??? LIBERALS?!?!?!?!"

Ningyou
Aug 14, 2005

we aaaaare
not your kind of pearls
you seem kind of pho~ny
everything's a liiiiie

we aaaare
not your kind of pearls
something in your make~up
don't see eye to e~y~e


Postal Parcel posted:

Allen Gregory is a fine, smart show that was cancelled before its time. You lot wouldn't recognize a good show if it was named Uwe Boll and punched you in the face.
I mean, how could you not like a show with memorable, relatable characters like

like "abused spouse, but it's funny because he's Kinda Gay" and "weird, lovely simulacrum of a seven-year-old, like a snatcher who got its understanding of what children are like from a South Park binge" and "French Stewart, but worse"

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007



sexpig by night posted:

Allen Gregory is yet another brick in the 'conservative humor doesn't exist' wall
You're giving Allen Gregory too much credit. There was no political agenda behind it, Jonah Hill was just inspired by Kenny Powers and wanted to make a show with an irredeemable main character. He just missed a very important element: audiences want to see these characters get screwed over. Kenny Powers, the Always Sunny gang, the Seinfeld crew, Sterling Archer, Forrest MacNeill in Review... the list goes on. All of these characters aren't liked by anyone and circumstances always work against them. Even when you have main characters who are flawed but not terrible people (Larry David in Curb, Abbi and Ilana in Broad City), it's still funny to see them on their asses at the end.

Off the top of my head, the only main characters that don't fit that mold are Rick in Rick and Morty, the four women in Girls, and Allen Gregory. Rick and Morty is more of a plot-driven show, while the other two shows are irredeemable garbage because heels like Hannah and Allen never end up worse for the wear.

get that OUT of my face fucked around with this message at 05:20 on Apr 14, 2017

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011



I think even if not made with some big "that'll finally skewer those liberal fools" thing it's humor still came from the extremely conservative place of "these smug out of touch elites can't fit in with the real world". I agree the show was too poo poo to even be political, but it still is based in conservative ideas to make the...jokes(?) Regardless.

It's like that Great Indooors show. It's not political in nature but it still comes from a place of smugly sneering at those sheltered millennial types who need to see the REAL world, which is mad conservative.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




Allen Gregory Episode One: Abandon all Hope ye who Enter Here
This is the one nice thing Iím going to say about Allen Gregory, it has some very well designed opening credits and a fantastic theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di3BD-LJ084

I feel bad for the people who animated it and the person who wrote the music, whoever they are theyíre too good to have their work associated with this travesty.

The episode opens on a party. Two guys are standing in front of a crowd about to make a speech. One of them has hair and the other one doesnít. They introduce themselves, but I donít want to bother learning their names so Iím just going to call the bald one Lex Luther and the guy with hair Johnny Football.
Lex Luther brutally belittles Johnny Football in front of their guests. Everyone looks super uncomfortable. Itís obvious that the show is aiming for cringe humor, but they canít quite pull it off so the whole thing just up being unpleasant in a way thatís neither funny or entertaining (this is a recurring motif of the show).

Turns out that Lex Luther and Johnny Football are life partners and theyíve adopted a daughter from Cambodia. She is, much like Diane Nguyen from Bojack Horseman, an Asian version of Daria and thus Iím going to be calling her ďAsian DariaĒ from now on. Also, Bojack Horseman is a much better show than this. You should probably stop reading this right now and just go watch Bojack Horseman.

Lex Luther takes a break from belittling Johnny Football to belittle Asian Daria for a bit, and then their other child the titular Allen Gregory arrives on screen and what was already a bad show suddenly gets a million times worse.

Iím not going to be taking any screen shots of this show, because Iím pretty sure having images of Allen Gregory saved to your hard drive puts you on a government watch list (and if it doesnít it should). Instead allow me to paint you a word picture of what Allen Gregory looks like: Imagine if Turman Capote got stuck halfway through animorphing into an aborted fetus and then somebody glued a bad toupee to his head. Thatís what Allen Gregory looks like. Also, Jonah Hill voices him using his regular speaking voice and itís super creepy seeing a grown manís voice come out of that weird baby head.

Allen Gregory makes a speech about how great he is, belittles Asian Daria just like his dad, and does his best to be the biggest douche in the room. I have never met a fictional character more in need of a punch in the face, but sadly that doesnít happen. What does happen, however, is Lex Luther and Johnny Football telling their creepy baby man that Mr. Football is going back to work. This means Johnny Football wonít be able to Homeschool Allen anymore so heíll have toÖ*drumroll*Go to elementary school like a regular child! *record scratch* Woah ho HO! What a fish out of water story we got going on here! Looks like a recipe for good times and hilarious shenanigans! Spoiler alert: The times will not actually be good and the shenanigans will in reality be bland and joyless.

So Allen Gregory starts school. This pisses off Asian Daria, because being miserable is her only character trait so everything pisses her off. Allen treats his teacher like poo poo for no reason and receives no punishment for his actions (this is another recurring motif of the show).

Cut to lunch, a kid named Patrick makes a bad life choice and tries to befriend Allen Gregory. Patrick is voiced by Cristina Pucelli who, unlike Jonah Hill, is actually capable of sounding like a small child. Her good voice acting makes his bad voice acting all the more blatant. Add Cristina Pucelli to the list of people who were too good for this show. Allen responds to Patrickís kindness with disdain and instead tries to worm his way into the social circle a more popular kid named Joel Zadak because Allen Gregory is a brown-nosing parasite. Joel is an rear end in a top hat, but heís better at detecting bullshit than Patrick is and rejects Allen outright (smart move).

Allen then gets sent to Principals office for drinking wine at lunch, did I mention that Allen brought wine and sushi for lunch? No? Thatís because it wasnít funny. You know what else isnít funny? Allen getting a tiny boner from staring at the principalís fat rear end, but it happens anyway.

Cue a minute-long dream sequence of a seven-year-old having vivid sexual fantasies involving himself and a sixty-year-old woman. This is why having images of Allen Gregory saved to your hard drive puts you on a government watch list (well, one of the reasons).

Then Allen shits his pants.

Just.

Bam, pants making GBS threads out of nowhere.

He runs home crying and, in theory, it should feel good to watch this little rear end in a top hat suffer. But watching him suffer still involves watching him, and anytime spent observing him in any way is unbearable. At this point I donít even want to see him get his comeuppance, I just want him to disappear. Once he gets home he spends some time treating Johnny Football and Asian Daria like theyíre even shittier than his pants. Despite his abuse Asian Daria still makes an attempt to be nice to him and he tells her to gently caress off.

Some other bullshit happens, Will Forte shows up as the unfunny school superintendent (heís also too good for this show), Keith David (He is REALLY too good for this show, drat!) shows up for some reason, Allen says he doesnít want to go back to school, and thatís when we get Johnny Footballís disturbing backstory. The following are exact quotes from the show:

Johnny Football: Allen Gregory Five years ago, I was a straight man. I had a wife, two kids, rock solid career, I was happier than I had ever been. And then, one day, I had a meeting with a potential client, and he was an older gay man and we had a connection. A strictly platonic one given my life long heterosexuality, but he wouldnít take no for an answer. He persisted, He followed me everywhere, gave me flowers, gifts, he believed deep within his heart, that we were destined to be together.

Allen Gregory: And you started to believe it too?

Johnny Football: Eh, uh, the point is Allen Gregory that all the obstacles, he being straight as an arrow, my wife and kids, the restraining orders, they were irrelevant, in the end he got what he wanted.


Ö.so yeah, turns out Lex Luther is a sexual predator who stalked, harassed, and emotionally abused Johnny Football into being with him. ThereÖmight be some way to make that situation funny? Maybe? But this show does not know what that way is. Instead this just come off as awful and makes all of Lex Lutherís and Johnny Footballís previous and future interactions even harder to watch than they already are. Itís black comedy without the comedy part.

Then Allen breaks Patrickís window.

Just.

Bam, window breaking out of nowhere.

Apparently, Johnny Footballís story about how he was abused and exploited has inspired Allen Gregory to abuse and exploit others. He convinces superintendent Will Forte to tell everyone that he was actually the one who poo poo his pants, not Allen Gregory. Because Allen Gregory is rich you see and being rich means other people will humiliate themselves for you even if youíre a pretentious, irredeemable douche. ThatÖyeah, thatís actually a lesson thatís pretty true to life, honestly. Too bad it was delivered in a way that wasnít funny or interesting.

Allen Gregory sexually harasses his principal, then the episode ends. Roll credits, feel bad for the poor souls who were forced to animate this crap.

Okay, wow, great, one down six to go.

Space Cadet Omoly fucked around with this message at 08:58 on Apr 14, 2017

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




Plom Bar posted:

I got through two episodes and holy poo poo how in the gently caress did Jonah Hill ever get work

Because the world is a cruel and unfair place.

This all took longer to type up than I thought, my initial plan was to do all seven episodes in one night but I'm not sure if I wanna do that now (I'm already pretty tired and angry and bored). I'm probably going to do one more now and then do the rest Friday and Saturday. I can stay up late tonight because have the day off tomorrow, I thought I was going to have to take my Grandma to the doctors office (she's not sick, it's just a checkup), but it turns out she got the date wrong so I'm off the hook for that.

I Am Fowl
Mar 8, 2008

nononononono


Space Cadet Omoly posted:

Because the world is a cruel and unfair place.

This all took longer to type up than I thought, my initial plan was to do all seven episodes in one night but I'm not sure if I wanna do that now (I'm already pretty tired and angry and bored). I'm probably going to do one more now and then do the rest Friday and Saturday. I can stay up late tonight because have the day off tomorrow, I thought I was going to have to take my Grandma to the doctors office (she's not sick, it's just a checkup), but it turns out she got the date wrong so I'm off the hook for that.

Unless the terms of the bet state otherwise you really might want to space these out. Just getting that episode secondhand was deeply unpleasant.

As Nero Danced
Sep 3, 2009

Alright, let's do this


Allen Gregory made me hate everything involving Jonah Hill and it took a lot of convincing to finally get me to watch Wolf of Wall Street.

I would have bet to watch anything else, I remember this turd tanking so hard it made a Napoleon Dynamite cartoon look alright, like ten years after the movie came out.

The opening credits are too good for the show, thats's the only thing I actually remember other than rape jokes.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




Allen Gregory Episode Two: Welcome to my Special Hell

Allen Gregory is sitting in front of his elementary school watching his elderly principal get out of her car because thatís what gets him off. There are several close ups on the principalís mouth as she eats a Danish and another close up on her wrinkly, vein covered rear end in a thong. Oh, and while all this is happening Jonah Hill narrates it in the creepiest voice imaginable. Watching this show makes me feel like Iím an accomplice to a sex crime.

Allen Gregory tries to lie to the other kids about the principal being his girlfriend. No one believes him, not even Patrick whom he seems to have now enslaved (because itís pretty unrealistic to think anyone would hang out with Allen Gregory voluntarily). He then lies and says he and the Principal have made a sex tape.

Ö

I checked the time, itís only been three minutes. The episode is twenty-one minutes long. There are still eighteen more minutes of Jonah Hill sexually harassing a senior Citizen to go.

Cut to Allen Gregory, Lex Luther, Johnny Football, and Asian Daria eating breakfast. Lex Luther encourages Allen Gregory to continue the sex tape lie because Lex Luther is a crazy persona and this show makes no sense. He also tells Asian Daria that she needs to invite her friends over to prove that they exist because in addition to being a crazy person he is also an rear end in a top hat.

Allen Gregory gets on the school PA system and makes an announcement about the sex tape he and the principal have made.

Ö

So, weíre really doing this?

This is really the plot weíre rolling with?

I checked the time again, now itís been five minutes. gently caress my life.

The principal is (understandably) enraged that this horrible little gremlin is trying to convince her co-workers sheís a pedophile. She tries to get him to stop, but Allen Gregory is incapable of comprehending or caring about the emotions of other people and continues making his unwanted advances. The principal is (correctly) convinced that heís mentally disturbed and forces him to go see the Guidance Counselor.

Allen Gregory treats the guidance counselor with the same unfunny disdain that he treats everyone else and they engage in some unfunny banter. Oh, and it turns out the Principal and the Guidance Counselor are in a romantic relationship so I guess weíre gonna have to listen to Allen Gregory bitch about that now and probably try to force them to break them up because heís a horrible nightmare child.

Cut to Asian Daria introducing Lex Luther to her friends. Lex Luther treats them with the same unfunny disdain that he treats everyone else and they engage in some unfunny banter.

Cut back to Allen Gregory and Patrick at school. Allen is pissed, Patrick mentions that he has to see the guidance counselor everyday ďSince I found my sisters bodyĒ and, God help me, I actually laughed at that line. It just comes out of nowhere, itís never touched on again, and itís delivered perfectly. Thatís dark humor done right, I suspect it wonít happen again.

The sex tape plot continues and remains unbearable and incomprehensible. Joel Zadak, the popular kid Allen Gregory is always trying to suck up too, also releases a sex tape. Except itís not a sex tape itís just a video of him holding hands with a girl, because kids donít actually know what sex is you see. Yup. Thatís it. Thatís the whole joke.

Ö

I checked the time once more. Itís been ten minutes, almost halfway done.

Allen Gregory continues trying to convince the Guidance Counselor that he hosed his wife.

Ö

Eleven minutes.

Allen Gregory says heíll bring the sex tape to school tomorrow and show everyone. Then he goes to a sauna so he can talk to Keith David.

Man, hearing Keith David talk is a delight. It doesnít even matter what stupid poo poo this dumb show has him saying, I just love listening to that guy.

At this point Allen Gregory made a rape joke. Or rather, a rape statement. Joke implies that something funny was said and nothing Allen Gregory says is ever funny. Allen Gregory just sort of talked about Lex Luther raping Football Johnny for a while and I sat there listening and thinking about the poor life choices Iíve made that led me to this moment.

Lex Luther has hired actors to be Asian Dariaís fake friends because he doesnít like her real ones. I donít care about this subplot and neither should you.

Lex Luther convinces Allen Gregory to keep the sex tape lie going at all costs. The Guidance Counselor has started to actually believe that his wife might have had sex with this seven-year-old turd. His reaction to this isnít shock and revulsion because ďoh gently caress, my wife is pedophileĒ itís jealousy because ďoh man, this first grader could be better at sex than I am!Ē

Ö

Nineteen minutes, weíre almost done here.

Allen Gregory destroys a dvd containing footage of the obviously fake sex tape in front of his class, this somehow counts as a victory for him and all the other kids now believe that the sex tape might have been real all along. Slow zoom in on Allen Gregoryís horrible, smug face.

Cut to a scene of the Guidance Counselor trying to repair the destroyed DVD because he sincerely believes his sixty-year wife banged a seven-year-old.

Ö

gently caress this show.

Two down, five to go.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




As Nero Danced posted:

Napoleon Dynamite cartoon look alright, like ten years after the movie came out.

It's been years since I saw the Napoleon Dynamite cartoon, but from what I remember it really wasn't that bad. Sure it was weird that it came out ten years after the movie, but other than that it was pretty inoffensive and even funny at time. Of course, that could just be because like you said next to Allen Gregory everything looks good.

The Lobotomy Kid
Aug 27, 2011

and act like a nut.

The one silver lining here is that Allen Gregory gave us the Reality Show Show and Hollywood Handbook.

Clawtopsy
Dec 17, 2009


how's that whole "having hope" and "being optimistic" thing working out for you?

Plom Bar
Jun 5, 2004

hardest time i ever done

Clawtopsy posted:

how's that whole "having hope" and "being optimistic" thing working out for you?

Pretty great, actually. Between this and the meltdowns from people claiming to not have had hope over week-old news, I've been thoroughly entertained.

Clawtopsy
Dec 17, 2009


Plom Bar posted:

Pretty great, actually. Between this and the meltdowns from people claiming to not have had hope over week-old news, I've been thoroughly entertained.

its okay, pb. its not all about you. the post was directed at my thread nemesis, the eternally chirpy omoly, who has now PAID THE PRICE

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


Space Cadet Omoly posted:

You should probably stop reading this right now and just go watch Bojack Horseman.

This is a rule of life, you should stop anything to watch BoJack.

Regy Rusty
Apr 26, 2010



This show sounds worse than I thought it would be

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007



Space Cadet Omoly posted:

Ö.so yeah, turns out Lex Luther is a sexual predator who stalked, harassed, and emotionally abused Johnny Football into being with him. ThereÖmight be some way to make that situation funny? Maybe?
There isn't.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


Regy Rusty posted:

This show sounds worse than I thought it would be

I remember seeing some of this during it's burnoff. It's not a pleasant thing to remember

GobiasIndustries
Dec 14, 2007



Lipstick Apathy

Oh man...I remember when this came out, I watched the first episode and hated it but thought 'hey pilots aren't always great maybe episode 2 will be better'.

It was not. I made it maybe 3 minutes in. Good luck with the rest of this.

Snooze Cruise
Feb 16, 2013

look-
a post,


Allen Gregory existence is worth it in the end because its where Sean Clements and Hayes Davenport met, and eventually it led to them doing the two of the greatest podcasts of all time.

As Nero Danced
Sep 3, 2009

Alright, let's do this


I remember one of the episodes is half not-bad because Allen Gregory himself is not involved for more than 10 seconds. I think it was mainly about the dad. I don't remember which episode and I'm sure as gently caress not looking for it, but you have a slight reprieve in store.

It's like the part of the electric chair when they turn it off and re-wet the sponge.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007



I remember seeing one episode when it aired out of morbid curiosity. It was terrible, but I don't remember what it was about.

Tellingly, the best least painful episode was the one where Allen's mother comes back and trashes him all the time. It would be the show's way of saying "gently caress you, you little poo poo," except that's not the point of the show.

NoEyedSquareGuy
Mar 16, 2009

Just because Liquor's dead, doesn't mean you can just roll this bitch all over town with "The Freedoms."


I have a memory of this show being such garbage that torrent sites didn't even bother uploading it during the time it was on the air. Even with the prospect of being able to watch it for free without a cable subscription, nobody wanted to sit through it.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




Clawtopsy posted:

how's that whole "having hope" and "being optimistic" thing working out for you?

Not so great, honestly, kinda feeling the full weight of my hubris right now. And yet, in spite of everything, I haven't learned my lesson. Really looking forward to playing Hiveswap in the 2020's! It's gonna be great! What a smashing way to kick off the new decade!

Two or three more episode summaries coming late tonight (or I guess early tomorrow morning since they'll probably be released around midnight) in the meantime here's a fun game: try to come up with an Allen Gregory themed cocktail.

Here's mine, it's called "This Tastes the way watching the show feels":

2 fluid ounces cough syrup
1 fluid ounce toilet water

Serve in an old gym shoe, Garnish with grocery store sushi that's been left in the sun. Drink in the dark while thinking about your worst mistakes.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit


College Slice

Don't know what kind of bet you lost but godspeed. You're gonna need it.

GobiasIndustries
Dec 14, 2007



Lipstick Apathy

Snooze Cruise posted:

Allen Gregory existence is worth it in the end because its where Sean Clements and Hayes Davenport met, and eventually it led to them doing the two of the greatest podcasts of all time.

This is very true. It's not like anyone forced me to watch every episode...unlike the OP, that poor bastard.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.




Grimey Drawer

I believe I watched the first episode of this and yeah it did not work at all for a lot of the reasons you mentioned.

One critical observation I took from a video I saw recently had stuck with me (from Lindsay Ellis FTR.) It doesn't matter so much if a character is likable as much as they're motivated. Walter White has a motivation. The Sunny Gang is usually trying to do something and so it's fun to watch them screw it up. Archer and his crew get hung up on very specific things and lose all perspective. Allen is just kind of a dick.

precision
May 7, 2006

Gonna have me some good friends around
Gonna have me some good times in town




This is one of the very few pieces of media that I am legitimately baffled by the mere existence of.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




Allen Gregory Episode Three: You look at him and Tell me Thereís a God.

This episode starts with Joel Zadock (the popular douchebag kid) forcing Allen Gregory to drink toilet water. This was a major mistake on Joelís part, he really should have drowned Allen in that toilet. Unfortunately, since Allen was allowed to live, he goes home, tells his dads what happened, Lex Luther makes a joke about raping Johnny Football, blah blah blah homophobia, and then Lex Luther decides Allen Gregoryís school needs to have a gay dance where boys are required to ask boys out and girls are required to ask girls out.

Asian Daria makes a joke about how this plotline is stupid and makes no sense, but if the writers had enough self-awareness to realize that why did they write it anyway? Why not write something else instead? Or just write nothing else?

Cut to Parent's night at Allen Gregoryís school, Allen Gregory introduces his dads to his class and makes a joke about Lex Luther raping Johnny Football. Was it really necessary to make Lex Luther a rapist? This show sure seems to think so.

The kids in Allenís class think Lex Luther is a boring turd (just like me), but they like Johnny Football because heís a DJ and one of the only non-rear end in a top hat characters on this show. In fact, they like him so much that they want him to DJ their school dance! Hey, good for Johnny Football! Maybe heíll make so much money that heíll be able to move out and leave the abusive relationship heís trapped in behind!

But no, Lex Luther wonít let Johnny Football DJ. Also, Lex Luther is allowed to take over all the planning for the school dance because heís rich or whatever who cares.

So yeah, the dance is gay now, and the kids are all okay with that. Good for them, theyíre less homophobic than the people who wrote this episode! Patrick tries to ask out Allen Gregory (because Patrick has poo poo taste in men) but Allen only wants to go with Joel because Allen Gregory is a heartless social climber with a fetish for drinking toilet water. Allen Gregory treats Patrick like poo poo for a bit because thatís just what he does to anyone dumb enough to be nice to him.

Cut to Lex Luther harassing Johnny Football at work and getting him fired because Lex Luther is a petty rear end in a top hat.

Allen Gregory asks Joel to the dance. Joel promptly rejects him because Joel may be a douchebag, but heís a douchebag with standards.

Joel then asks out Patrick. Hey, good choice! Patrick is another one of the few non-rear end in a top hat characters on this show! Allen Gregory treats Patrick like poo poo some more.

Johnny Football is pissed about Lex Luther getting him fired. Johnny Football and Lex Lutherís interactions would be a lot more enjoyable if Lex Luther wasnít a rapist. The writers should have just kept them as a regular couple instead of making them a sexual predator and his victim.

Uh-oh, turns out the only reason Joel asked Parick to the dance was so he could humiliate him by pulling his pants down in front of the whole school! But why? Why do that to Patrick and not Allen Gregory? Joel has barely interacted with Patrick before now, he has no reason to hate him and every reason to hate Allen Gregory the irritating parasite whoís constantly harassing him. Ugh, whatever, letís just keep moving, I can already tell that Iíve thought more about this than the person who wrote it.

Allen Gregory overhears Joelís plot. Asian Daria and the principal also over hear it, I forgot to mention that thereís a subplot about them trying to stop the dance because blah blah blah who cares. Theyíre also trying to get Allen Gregory expelled, but I know thatís going to fail because thereís still four more episodes of this crap.

Allen Gregory continues being a douche to Patrick, I guess heís not going to warn him about Joelís nonsensical plot to humiliate him because much like his father heís petty rear end in a top hat.

Then Asian Daria talks Allen Gregory into pantsing Patrick instead of Joel because she wants to get her brother expelled. Just kill him Asian Daria. Just kill him and end out suffering.

Allen Gregory tries to pull off Patrickís pants put fucks it up so hard that he ends up getting his own pants pulled off instead. He then makes a speech that makes no sense. Patrick thinks Allen Gregory saved him and so he stays his friend. Great, woooo.

Oh, and Johnny Football gets to DJ after all! That makes all the rape okay I guess!

End of episode.

I was going to watch two episodes tonight, but I donít want to anymore. Iím going to bed. Iíll do another one tomorrow.

As Nero Danced
Sep 3, 2009

Alright, let's do this


Yeah, it takes some​ energy to get through this, don't try to marathon it.

This show is just so badly thought out. Hill wanted to make a show about irredeemable assholes, and he succeeded. Only problem is he forgot to make them in any way enjoyable.

Allen is a pompous little poo poo that never gets his comeuppance. He always wins, and there is no catharsis to his being an rear end in a top hat. Even Cartman loses every now and then. Same with Lex Luther dad, his interactions with the other dad would be funny if he wasn't a rapist that harassed the guy and ruined his life till he got what he wanted, which was an emotional punching bag.

God dammit I'm putting thought into hating Allen loving Gregory again I swore this poo poo off when I discovered Bob's burgers.

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless


get that OUT of my face posted:

you poor, poor bastard

get that OUT of my face posted:

you poor, poor bastard

get that OUT of my face posted:

you poor, poor bastard

You poor, poor bastard.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Must've been one hell of a bet.

Given the choice of following through on the bet and watching the entirety of Allen Gregory or being poisoned, shot, stabbed, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered, and having my dying head utter "gently caress ALLEN GREGORY" before succumbing to my injuries, I'd take the latter.

As Nero Danced
Sep 3, 2009

Alright, let's do this


You Are A Elf posted:

Must've been one hell of a bet.

Given the choice of following through on the bet and watching the entirety of Allen Gregory or being poisoned, shot, stabbed, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered, and having my dying head utter "gently caress ALLEN GREGORY" before succumbing to my injuries, I'd take the latter.

If I had to choose, watch this again or lose a testicle, it would take a bit to decide.

Goodbye Lefty

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit


College Slice

At least he didn't make a bet for Nutshack. I've watched a few episodes and it's irredeemable garbage as well, except they made over twice as many episodes as Allen Gregory and everyone has an accent so exaggerated that you can hardly understand them.

Next time make a bet for whether you'll have to watch Nutshack, Omoly.

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Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

I remember watching this the first time around. I hated every single character by the end of the run. There is absolutely nothing redeemable about this loving show.

gently caress Jonah Hill in the rear end with a barb-wire dildo.

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