The Cool Crime of Robbery: Let's Play Persona 5 [SSLP]

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Arist: Feb 13, 2012; _{who, me?}

Before we list some of the ones I picked out, here�s the worst one anyone sent in:

ajkalan posted:

ajkalan: Attempt #1

When deciding who to date, it is important that we step back and understand who Maaku truly is. There are many ways to measure his character, but the best way, in my opinion, is in how he defines himself and his closest companions. His most concrete example of self-definition comes from his naming of the Phantom Thieves, which we all know as "#millennials." Thus, we know that at his core, he shares the same two directives as everyone in his generation:

1. Wanting to die, and
2. Memes

With this in mind, let us examine some of the characters in this game to see how well they satisfy these requirements to being Maaku's ideal partner.

-Kamoshida
He fulfills the first point twice over, as he both inspired a desire to die in Shiho and wished for his own death at the end of his character arc. However, if he was aware of the existence of memes he never let on, and despite his ridiculous chin and hilarious bathrobe villain costume he is not himself the subject of a meme. Pass.

-Morgana
An opposite of Kamoshida. His meme game is strong - him demanding Maaku go to bed is well known to every player, and his Catbus transformation is pretty much a literal meme form. But he falters in wanting to die. His quest so far has been a desire to find out his identity and live his life as the human he knows he really is. Even at his lowest, he has not been suicidal. Granted, his latest arc has been painful to the player/readers, but it didn't make me want to die, personally. Pass.

-Foreign Barker, Lala-chan, or Starry-eyed Student
They don't really fit either criteria, I just thought they should be mentioned because they're the best no-portrait characters in the game.

-Futaba
She is certainly a strong candidate, arguably the ideal choice. She very explicitly wanted to die; that was the whole crux of her Palace. As a creature of the Internet and the founder of Japanese not-Anonymous, she certainly knows all about memes. Also, unlike most of the previous choices, she is about the same age as Maaku and thus is just as much a millennial as him.* On the other hand, she doesn't want to die any more, does she? That aspect of her character has completely changed. And I don't think she makes anyone else want to die, either. Her meme credentials are also kind of weak. She uses gamer terms and silly similes ("make like a tree and leave," things like that) when she speaks, but none of that is really meme stuff. I don't know how she types on the Internet, so I can't definitively say she uses them there, either. Great, but not the clear best option she initially appears to be.

-Mishima
He is the other top choice next to Futaba. He is someone who, though he himself doesn't want to die, inspires that feeling in many players and probably Maaku himself at times (see: Hawaii). I don't think he's as ambitious or talented as Futaba, so he is more likely to end up in a poo poo job and feeling terrible later in life, a millennial trademark. He is well aware of memes and has used them in speech. I don't remember Futaba saying anything like "Kek" before she ran into Mishima! I also saw him in a Youtube video once wearing Shinya's Get Smoked hat, so his real-life meme presence must be better than her's. Truly a top contender in this contest.

Conclusion
Ultimately, the two millennial directives paint a portrait of someone who is rather hopeless, and no one is more hopeless than Mishima. It's a close call, but Maaku should romance Mishima. The evidence doesn't lie.

_{*They are both too young to be millennials by most definitions of the term, but if that's what they're calling themselves, who am I to argue?}

why would you do this to me

5.

Tempest_56 posted:

Tempest_56: Attempt #1

As the Phantom Thief of Hearts, we must have standards. Obviously there's some confidants who we could romance, but if they're not good enough to be a Phantom Thief they obviously aren't good enough to date. Also, several of the possibilities (I have no idea which ones are and aren't) are creepy.

So our real choices:
A swimsuit model in a leather cat suit. Ann's nice and all, but that's a boring choice.
Some chick we just met who's dressed like a Musketeer. Haru hasn't really had the time to show much, but what we have seen is that she's willing to take orders from a cat. Pass.
Female Sam Fisher in a tentacle UFO. Normally I'm all for redheads but that aesthetic infers a lot about her porn habits. Also, can you imagine Maaku having a real conversation with Futaba? Total non-compatable in terms of interests there.
A goody-two-shoes turned leather-clad biker chick. Now we're talking! Not only is it corrupting the innocent brown-noser to a life of HEART CRIME but of the options she's obviously got the most rebel, gently caress-the-man aesthetic going on. And she's obviously got the brains and wits to be fun to hang with. Plus it'll piss off Sae.

Thus the only choice is obviously Makoto

A well-reasoned argument, all around.

4.

Funky Valentine posted:

Funky Valentine: Attempt #1

Let's be perfectly frank here: we need to go with Makoto because Maaku has to tell Sae to her face that he hosed her sister in the attic and they went out to eat giant burgers afterwards.

This would, indeed, be quite humorous.

And now, the top three, the ones that will receive my generous �prizes:�

3.

Kith posted:

Kith Attempt #1:

Out of all of the companions, only Makoto has a psychic motorcycle. That alone should be reason enough.

This is just hard science, you guys.

2.

Leraika posted:

Leraika attempt #2:

Let's make Arist write
Bad Akechi fanfic as
Summer, too, heats up

Dammit, man, I almost picked this, use your powers more wisely than to support a cop!

1.

Deceitful Penguin posted:

I have a few reasons to support my candidate here:

Suck it, everyone who told me Let�s Play would never pay off! Eat it, step-dad! I�m fuckin� rich now!

(this probably only won because I find it hilarious that you clearly ran out of money halfway through, but it�s great)

So, without further ado, the winner of the Best Girl contest is� Haru! Didn�t see that one coming, I tell you what. Really thought it would be Makoto, especially as she seemed to have the most submissions, but I�m honestly totally fine with this outcome.

If you ended up in the top 3, post the reward you want in the thread (or PM it, whatever) and I'll try to make it happen. If it's an "art commission," I'm probably gonna end up posting it in here anyway to embarrass myself.

# ? May 12, 2018 15:19

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 09:20

DeafNote: Jun 4, 2014; Only Happy When It Rains

I am both glad that Makoto filled most of the top3 and that Haru still won

(because I already picked Makoto anyway)

Also $$$$$ always wins
(why the hell are there Euros in there?)

# ? May 12, 2018 16:02

SoundwaveAU: Apr 17, 2018

I'm happy about this. While Haru isn't my personal favourite I like her a whole lot. Eager to see Maaku's game in action.

# ? May 12, 2018 16:07

rizzen: Apr 25, 2011

Aw, going to break Makoto's heart. Rad Motorcycle girl was my choice. : (

# ? May 12, 2018 16:09

Tenebrais: Sep 2, 2011

rizzen posted:

Aw, going to break Makoto's heart. Rad Motorcycle girl was my choice. : (

If I'd got round to making a submission I'd have based it around Makoto being the only one to actually show an interest in Maaku. Well, her and the journalist.

# ? May 12, 2018 16:18

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Look on the bright side, at least I didn't get first!

Congrats to Haru and Deceitful Penguin.

# ? May 12, 2018 16:20

Lord_Magmar: Feb 24, 2015; "Welcome to pound town, Slifer slacker!"

All my hard work and efforts for nothing, my goal of getting Arist to write Maaku Hamiru flirting with everyone has failed.

Oh well, congratulations to the winners and I am glad Haru won, as I did not pick her on my play through, Kawakami was too good to pass up, so now I get a different experience.

# ? May 12, 2018 16:52

Epicmissingno: Jul 1, 2017; Thank gooness we all get along so well!

Arist posted:

Caroline and Justine? Uh, what? No. We�re not doing that.

I'd have photoshopped the "Get Smoked" hat onto Caroline and Justine just to spite Arist, but I'm terrible with that sort of thing and never got around to it. Oh well.

# ? May 12, 2018 17:56

Blueberry Pancakes: Aug 18, 2012; Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!

I just wanted Haru to win, so this works for me. :dance:

# ? May 12, 2018 21:52

ajkalan: Aug 17, 2011

If my entry couldn't win, at least it was the worst.

# ? May 12, 2018 23:16

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

Can�t believe �hook up with the homeless dude� didn�t win

Smh

# ? May 12, 2018 23:22

Coq au Nandos: Nov 7, 2006; I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Makoto nooooo

# ? May 12, 2018 23:32

Blue Labrador: Feb 17, 2011

Think about how many Holy Stones we'll be able to buy

# ? May 12, 2018 23:38

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

DeafNote posted:

I am both glad that Makoto filled most of the top3 and that Haru still won

(because I already picked Makoto anyway)

Also $$$$$ always wins
(why the hell are there Euros in there?)

Hahaha, the better question is why it's all money that's foreign to me (I'm not American), in a country where a 13 year get debit cards pushed on them (the reason I didn't use yen was that I only had coins left)

Also I almost wrote it in hiragana but I thought even my wiiabooism must have limits, though I almost did

code:

Sweet green leaves in trees
Ain't poo poo compared to the green
In Harus wallet

also idk what I want; I only take part for the hell of it. Plat would be useful to once again be able to receive abusive PMs but I think art is the best thing to buy with my money

Draw Morgana as Meowth

# ? May 13, 2018 00:34

Hunt11: Jul 24, 2013; Grimey Drawer

I would have preferred Makoto but I am quite happy with Haru winning as well.

# ? May 13, 2018 00:43

Arist: Feb 13, 2012; _{who, me?}

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Draw Morgana as Meowth

I hate myself for agreeing to this already, god I'm the worst:

I had to look up what Meowth looked like because I didn't remember. I debated not looking it up because it would be funnier but I eventually realized I didn't have enough of an idea to really make a go at it.

Happy with it? No? Well, neither am I.

# ? May 13, 2018 01:20

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

That was such a good idea that I'm smad that someone who wasn't me came up with it.

Draw SICK WHEELIES with Makoto and Johanna.

# ? May 13, 2018 02:26

Kith: Sep 17, 2009; You never learn anything
by doing it right.

I forefit my prize to ajkalan.

# ? May 13, 2018 02:40

Arist: Feb 13, 2012; _{who, me?}

Leraika posted:

That was such a good idea that I'm smad that someone who wasn't me came up with it.

Draw SICK WHEELIES with Makoto and Johanna.

I kinda half-assed the smoke, but drawing Johanna took me like half an hour on its own, so this was a huge pain in the rear end even still.

# ? May 13, 2018 23:52

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Arist posted:

I kinda half-assed the smoke, but drawing Johanna took me like half an hour on its own, so this was a huge pain in the rear end even still.

don't worry, it's beautiful. :allears:

# ? May 14, 2018 00:17

ajkalan: Aug 17, 2011

Kith posted:

I forefit my prize to ajkalan.

Thank you!

I relinquish my prize to Funky Valentine.

# ? May 14, 2018 02:38

Malah: May 18, 2015

I'm a little upset I've yet to get my creative magic back from my last depressive episode and so I ~~totally forgot about this~~ couldn't come up with something, but the submissions were a blast to read.

Stop baton passing and pick something, you cowards! :argh:

Malah fucked around with this message at 06:51 on May 14, 2018

# ? May 14, 2018 05:46

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Malah posted:

I'm a little upset I've yet to get my creative magic back from my last depressive episode and so I ~~totally forgot about this~~ couldn't come up with something, but the submissions were a blast to read.

Stop baton passing and pick something, you cowards!

No, let them keep going, I wanna see who it ends up with.

# ? May 14, 2018 13:46

Arist: Feb 13, 2012; _{who, me?}

it's gonna end up coming to me somehow

# ? May 14, 2018 14:20

Lord_Magmar: Feb 24, 2015; "Welcome to pound town, Slifer slacker!"

I mean, you're clearly the Wild Carded Fool in this situation, so you'd be the most versatile option to baton pass too unless a specific need is required.

# ? May 14, 2018 15:00

Kith: Sep 17, 2009; You never learn anything
by doing it right.

Best Timeline is where it keeps getting passed around until the thread ends. I am solely responsible for starting this mess and I regret nothing.

# ? May 14, 2018 19:25

Arist: Feb 13, 2012; _{who, me?}

Part 115: 9/26: Makoto Makes A Charming New Friend!

Congratulations to Haru for winning the romance contest through bribery! We�ll get right on that when the game actually lets us!

Something in me just loves the idea that these shitheads just immediately go �problem�s fixed, time for a burger!�

Anon: calling card! FIRST!!!!!

Also, this idiot.

Anon: its getting exciting!
Anon: Took you long enough!
Anon: Our savior�s made a move!
Anon: i don�t care, just do it

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)

The Palace is gone, so I guess we�re waiting for a while. What do you guys do at times like these?

I see� I suppose it�ll do us good to take it easy every now and then. Still, don�t go overboard. You can�t forget your primary duties as a high schooler. It�s important to play the part of a diligent student, right?

Whatever, lame-o. I�m giving up on you. The people have demanded Haru, and by god, they�ll get her!

Music: Tokyo Daylight

That�s not an excuse to slack off! We should still use our time wisely!

Or, they would if it was possible right now. Haru�s got an annoying Confidant that can�t be initiated until rather late, and by �rather late� I of course mean �after this block of the game finishes.�

Also, every single person available to hang out during the day wants to spend time with us right now. It�s nuts!

Y-Yeah� I knew, but� Don�t say stuff like that so loud�

It�s so shocking though. I mean, it�s all connected to our school again. Now that President Okumura got that calling card, what do you think will happen?

But first, we�re doing another round of people-watching. Err, listening, rather.

�Sup girl. How you livin�?

I�m sure the Phantom Thieves are watching the news too, but I wonder what they�re thinking.

They�ve been acting as symbols of hope, after al. I even hear people refer to them as saviors. If everything on that calling card is true, this might just be a turning point in history. Maybe I�m getting ahead of myself, but there�s no doubt of the attention this is getting.

I don�t blame them. Some people expect a bit much for the requests they send to the Phantom Thieves. If everything on that calling card is true, this might just be a turning point in history. Maybe I�m getting ahead of myself, but there�s no doubt of the attention this is getting.

I hope that�s the case. I�m a bit worried because some people can react irresponsibly to all this. If everything on that calling card is true, this might just be a turning point in history. Maybe I�m getting ahead of myself, but there�s no doubt of the attention this is getting.

I like Newspaper Club Member. She�s really mellowed out towards us and she supports the Phantom Thieves respectfully.

Her dad was on TV saying they called the police about it. Speaking of, you wouldn�t believe how huge their house is�

I dunno though. I mean, if he made all his money doing bad stuff, he deserves to be punished.

Hey, not so loud! Okumura-san�s probably going through a rough time right now�

Still, a man who exploited his employees is irredeemable. Perhaps the Phantom Thieves should finish him off. The world doesn�t need more people like him.

Holy poo poo! These people are bloodthirsty!

You know, I overheard that the president of that corporation is Okumura-senpai�s father.

Whaat? I didn�t know you were into girls like that. Huh. This whole time, you were a gold digger�

Stop messing around! We need to devote as much time as we can to our teams. We can�t let ourselves be distracted by women!

Poor Haru, getting gossiped about constantly.

The food there is cheap, but it�s filling. It might suck if Big Bang weren�t around anymore.

Nah, bad guys should be punished. And those press conferences where they apologize are fun to watch.

Hmm, it�s tough to say. I mean, I�m not really the hero type.

Ahaha! Maybe you�re right! Being a Phantom Thief must be hard. Just listening to everyone�s requests must take a lot of work.

I�ve heard his daughter goes to this school, but I can�t stay my hand. Evil must be defeated.

Heh, it must be nice to be so carefree. I wish I could live out a normal, quiet civilian life too.

I�m actually starting to get a little annoyed with this dipshit.

What do you think about the Phantom Thieves sending President Okumura a calling card?

So then, punishment is a matter of fact for companies that exploit their enemies. And you�re saying that this issue won�t be resolved until the president begs for forgiveness. And that concludes our on-the-spot coverage.

�...

What�s wrong, Sun God? You look sullen�

The people only believe in the Phantom Thieves� What good is my power�?

Haha, I appreciate you trying to help. It�s like you really are some kind of phantom thief hero. However� I don�t even know who I�m even trying to target� Sorry, I�m just talking to myself.

You just now found that out? It�s all over the internet. He�s getting bashed left and right. Corrupt companies are the worst! The Phantom Thieves will do something about it!

Well, the Phantom Thieves sent out their calling card. Can�t be good news for the corporate bigwigs.

The police need to get off their fat asses and arrest those delinquents!

I thought you were a fan of the Phantom Thieves? Ohoho, I know times are tough right now, but�

But with the flak they�re getting, it�s tough bringing girls there. Where�re you taking your ladies?

All sorts of different places, naturally! There�s tons of places where you can take women�

I�m probably an idiot for just now realizing this, but I�m pretty sure now that Veteran Pick-up Artist is a total loving fraud.

I met a really nice girl, lately. I hope I can take her someplace fancy one day.

Music: Tokyo Emergency

Not really. There are other places that sell them.

We can go with Kotaro again! Let�s go and cheer on the Phantom Thieves!

Yeah� I hope he feels better soon.

I used to go to Big Bang Burger a lot myself. They�re a big company with a good image, so I feel like I�ve been betrayed.

That�s just the way the world is. Not worth making a big deal over it at this point.

Music: Butterfly Kiss

I finally remember to pick up a fourth SP Adhesive 3.

Music: Tokyo Daylight

Oh hey, Fishy Hawker�s still on the streets! I was worried about you, ya giant scumbag.

B-But the price of the Okumura Foods stock I bought from my friend has plummeted�

All you have to do is make up for it! Actually, I�ve got this secret information�

R-Really!? Please, tell me what it is!

Danger could strike your company at any time. And just like that, your life as you know it crumbles. You never know what might happen, but at least you can give your home the very best protection. Wanna-B-Alert can help you! For a limited time, sign up with a zero-down contract!

What a horrifying scenario you have presented that your product doesn�t solve in the slightest!

Thanks to them, I�m getting tons of labor-related inquiries.

Unpaid and illegal overtime, abuse of position� I can�t believe they dealt with it for so long. People are standing up for their rights after the Okumura thing. I�ll be busy for quite a while.

And now, to Akihabara.

Don�t worry, we�ll keep visiting you at �Alice�s Apron�! It�s the promised land for guys like us!

Ew, gross. Who are you again, creep?

Waah! Harsh on the outside� and harsh on the inside. But why�s my heart beating so fast?

Well, it�s over for them if they piss off their sponsors. No network�s gonna bash Okumura Foods.

I wish the Phantom Thieves would take care of this already. Okumura�s 100% guilty.

Yep, our Phantom Thieves will take care of him!

I still have some capital left over. Yeah, the Phantom Thieves are where it�s at� I�ve got it. I�ll buy a crap ton of stocks for places making money off the Phantom Thieves!

Can�t see an issue with this plan!

Also, it�s hard to see due to the nameplate, but he�s crumpled into a ball on the ground. It owns.

Now that we�re done with eavesdropping for today, let�s go fill that Strength request we put aside a few updates back.

Music: Aria of the Soul

I see you have brought us the Hecatoncheires with Masukunda�

You managed to do all three assignments, and you didn�t once try to give up! Not bad!

We might be getting close to finding out the hidden goal behind that list. *snicker* Y�know thanks to you, I�m actually starting to look forward to seeing what happens.

Your attitude has shifted quite considerably, Caroline. I see now that the harsh mask you wear during the fusion ritual is nothing more than a facade.

Perhaps in your heart, you have longed for the days the inmate would come to fuse the specified Personas.

And what about you, Justine!? You�ve been real talkative lately!

*chuckle* I suppose you are correct.

I-I�ve never heard you laugh before, Justine�

We have both clearly changed quite a bit recently. Perhaps my hypothesis is true after all.

We have thought that if we were to complete the list, we would bring to light the intent of its creator� We have overseen the inmate, all the while considering the changes that have begun to appear within him� However� can it truly be said that the inmate is the only one who has changed?

The completion of these tasks has also had a great impact on both my consciousness and my memories.

I have no proof of that. However� if this list represented the will of our master, why has it fallen into our hands and not his?

This has gotta be some kinda joke� You�re telling me somebody made it� so they could change us�? But� why?

�...

W-Wait, I recognize this voice�! Urgh�!

Caroline!?

Does something trouble you?

O-Our apologies, Master.

Is the inmate proving to be too horrible a subject for you?

Aww man, I thought Igor liked us. We�re Rank 8, man! We�re bros!

No, the fault does not lie with him. If you must reprimand anyone� then let it be us.

Caroline�

On the other hand, Caroline seems to have thoroughly defrosted.

...I see. Very well, continue onward with his rehabilitation.

Now then, as you have completed three tasks, let us bestow upon you the next reward. We shall grant you permission to use the special Isolation cell.

You use it just like a normal Lockdown cell� but it�s a heck of a lot stronger! *snicker* How�s it stronger exactly? �Cause the Persona you pop in there will learn a stronger resistance skill!

We expect that you will put its services to good use.

*nods*

This is exactly how it was described in the tooltip and by Caroline. We can get stronger resistance skills from it. Hopefully now we can get something better than loving Resist Dizzy. It�s still random and we�re still probably never gonna use this, but whatever.

Hmph. So I guess we�ve changed, huh� That much is clear. Strength� The eleventh arcana, which near-evenly splits the major twenty-two� The awakening of the unknown� A solitary woman calmly coming to face a lion�

Caroline. Let us assign the inmate his next task before we discuss this matter any further. If this list is meant to change us, that change must surely be important�

...Fine.

Oh, and your next reward is gonna be incredible, so you�ve gotta do two tasks before you can have it!

She�s not lying, at least in comparison to the other rewards.

Accordingly, these next two shall be the most difficult you have faced to this point.

Try to harbor a Bugs with Samarecarm within you.

We�ll be waiting for you. Though I know you won�t give up just �cause it�s hard!

*nods*

Music: Tokyo Daylight

Makoto�s Confidant is awful low for how much we use her. Let�s get to fixing that, especially now that we have enough Charm.

Oh, so I spoke with Eiko and she said her boyfriend was OK with the double date idea. She asked me to show her your picture though� Apparently, um� she thinks you look a little lame� She told me that my boyfriend isn�t in the same league as her Tsukasa� But I think she�ll change her mind once she sees you in person. Don�t worry, I�ll back you up.

Thank goodness. I�ll contact Eiko. Let�s meet at the diner, as I mentioned before.

Fine. But it�s strictly platonic. My heart is currently reserved for a burger heiress who is almost distressingly soft-spoken.

Music: Wicked Plan

I heard all about you two from Eiko.

Wait, this is her boyfriend!? I know Makoto said he was a host but this guy looks about thirty-eight! What�s wrong with his hair!?

So I heard you�re the student council prez, Makoto-chan? I totally wish I could be one of your council members.

I want to be far away from this dude right loving now, and I want the same for Makoto.

Y-Yes, I am� Totally�

And Glasses-kun over here is your boyfriend, yeah?

Y-Yeah�

Huh. Looks like you guys don�t get along too good though. It�s like your love level�s rock bottom. Are you seriously datin�?

Dammit, he�s onto us!!!

Ohhh, I get it. You just don�t got any affection compared to us.

Mmmmmm-hm!

Hey babe, did you do something special today? I don�t remember you lookin� this sexy.

It�s like Steve Buscemi in that 30 Rock �How do you do, fellow kids� gif except he�s also horny and also I can�t actually see the gif at all because I�m too busy vomiting.

Oh, Tsukasaaa! ♥

�...

Sorry, I hafta use the bathroom.

Um, there�s something I�d like to ask you� Are you serious about pursuing a relationship with Eiko?

Aha! I was wonderin� when our honor student was gonna show her true colors! That reminds me, Eiko said you were real pumped about gettin� to know me. Why�s that, huh?

...I just wanted to make sure you�re good for her.

Daaaaaamn girl, you really care about your friends! Good stuff. I always say, friends�re like, super important n� poo poo. Speakin� of which, a friend of my GF is totally a friend of mine. How �bout you tell me your digits?

Huh?

What�s wrong? C�mon, gimme your number.

I-I, um�

Nobody asked you, Glasses-kun. Anyways, Eiko already gave me yours, Mako-chan. We good.

Okay, first, you�re appropriating Haru�s nickname for Makoto and I�m gonna need you to stop doing that. Second, holy poo poo this dude is actually kinda scary.

I do have one more question to ask� You�re not going to bring Eiko to your club, are you?

What, you suspectin� me? I wouldn�t dream of it. It�s a drat shame people think us hosts�re just flirts.

I mean, it�s kinda your job.

But my love with Eiko is pure as snow. Don�t twist the story.

Oh, I was just gettin� to know your little friend here, honey. Welp, I should get goin�. I�ve gotta be at work soon.

Ah, me too! (to Makoto) Byeee!

But no matter what I might think, I still don�t have any proof� and above all, Eiko seems really happy. Am I just� getting in the way of their happiness?

That dude�s a certified creep, don�t worry about it.

I suppose so� I mean, I really am worried about Eiko here� In the end, I know this is just a hunch� but my father always stressed how important it is to trust hunches.

Ah, gross!

...What is this supposed to be saying? It�s full of emojis. �It�s meee, Tsukasa. *heart emoji* I no we just met but I cudn�t wait 2 *phone emoji* u. I�m so haP to b friends with u, MakoC. *clapping emoji* *clapping emoji* *hot springs emoji*�

That was barely a coherent sentence, but I�ll need to get used to that if I�m going to help Eiko� By the way, I�m glad you were here with me. I would have really panicked had I been alone� I honestly despise how immature I can be sometimes� But I�m working through that with your help, so� thank you.

I can sense Makoto�s trust in me...

I�m actually kind of glad we didn�t have this for the last fight because it would�ve complicated things due to the Hunger mechanic.

We should get going too. I�ll let you know if anything else comes up. Goodbye.

Music: Beneath the Mask

He has been cooped up in his study, and his voice lacks energy.

That actually sounds quite similar to what Madarame went through.

And Madarame still had a change of heart in the end. Don�t worry, Haru.

Is that so�? Oh, my apologies! I don�t mean to doubt you or anything!

Nobody was accusing you of that.

Right. Hm, I feel better now after consulting with you all. Thank you.

Looks like this Okumura case is finally going to have a happy ending. All that we have to do now is wait for his change of heart.

I�m sure nothing will go wrong!

We get the Sonic Socks we ordered off the teevee.

And here, we get the Spyware-laden Gear, the Black Rock, the Hercules Ankle and the Black Robe from Tanaka�s Shady Commodities.

Heh. Cute.

Ever since the calling card was sent out, people have clamored for President Okumura�s punishment. President Okumura has not made an appearance, and his response to the calling card is still unknown.

We�ve done what we can for now. Now we just have to wait.

They �ere rotten fr�m the start. *hic* Yah, they should be executed. Executiiive theeem! They�re worse�n bad apples� They�re bad picklesh! You agree wi� me, right? Executive theeeem!

Right!? Lemme buy ya some drinksh!

HELL YEAH

Jus� who do they think they are? Those bad picklesh have no place in any sandwidge I�m gonna eat! You shee! It�sh a conspiracy! The bad picklesh, they made it sho Okumura�d get targetd�

What!? No, no! We hafta kill �em! We hafta kill those baaaad picklesh. The only good picklesh are th� pickles Mom makesh� You shee! It�sh a conspiracy! The bad picklesh, they made it sho Okumura�d get targetd�

Lemme tell you� I�m a good pickle, yer a good pickle, but the bad picklesh�re ev�rywhere� An� they�re not-- *burp*-- they�re not jus� hidin� in sandwidges now. They workin� out inna open. You shee! It�sh a conspiracy! The bad picklesh, they made it sho Okumura�d get targetd�

Me too! I did just good enough, so my parents will get me one too. Phones aren�t for calling.. they�re for calling cards! Hehe, now we can follow the Phantom Thieves!

Let�s ask the Phantom Thieves to get our parents to buy us anything we want!

I hear he�s just throwing money at the problem�as if the company�s image could get any worse. I guess they deserve this. I think we should tear down businesses that abuse their employees.

Our company isn�t like that. We�re very much on the level.

I am not so sure about that� The internet and media are both skilled at starting fires.

In that respect, I sort of envy him. To think that could happen to us when we�re all working so hard.

If the CEO has a change of heart, do you think the burgers will get cheaper?

Wouldn�t the price actually go up slightly to accommodate for a likely increase in salary?

They opened one up back home not long ago. Huge lines�you�d think it was a festival or somethin�. I didn�t know Bangarang Burgers was so amazing.

Oh god, Rural Young Man is actually Skrillex, everything makes sense now

Yeah, I�ve got a lot more time on my hands now. I�ve been able to stay out longer, little by little. Looks like I�ll be free soon. The guy that�s got a hold on me, his heart�s startin� to weaken. ...Who am I talkin� about? Someone real close to me! Haha!

Oh no, the weird Jekyll/Hyde situation with our good buddy Homeless Man is getting worse by the day...

Aw, don�t be like that. Look, there�s a buncha fun, interestin� stuff goin� on. For instance� You hear that hoity-toity bastard got a calling card? He finally got the Phantom Thieves� attention. They�re punishing evil people that the law can�t reach. Those phantom thieves are just like me, hahaha!

Well, that�s a terrifying thought.

What�s she talking about? Is she worried that maybe you�re overworking yourself?

No. You know how Okumura Food�s stock price fell after their president got that calling card? She�s worried that if a big company like that can fail, ours might fail too.

She�s more worried about the company than you? Well, it�s kind of the same with my wife�

That�s kind of an interesting conversation to me. We haven�t really thought about the potential damage just receiving a calling card would do to a public company at this point, and it�s nice to see that reflected in some of these conversations.

I hope they fail! An enemy of Akechi-kun�s is an enemy of mine!

Goodness� If Akechi-kun found out about you, you�d be his enemy too. I know you use his voice as your alarm clock!

You wanna make your big debut, right?

Of course! I�ll work as hard as it takes!

Good, good� Never lose that drive.

This poor woman.

Music: Time to Repent

Let�s resolve this hanging matter with Hifumi�s mother.

�The thing is, something unexpected happened� Can we talk?

>Hang out with her

Please sit down so we can talk.

Music: Alleycat

She told me that� most of my matches thus far had been fixed in my favor. She also admitted that she was the one who sold that story to the weekly magazine�

Maaku, quick! Feign surprise!

I� I had no idea. I feel so ashamed� However, thinking back, I do recall some of my opponents making poor moves at odd times� �� I�ve always wanted people to recognize my shogi skills� but I suppose I never had any. I became so conceited as a result of all those fake victories� Why did my mother confess all of a sudden�? It�s as if she had a change of heart�

...That can�t be. Perhaps they eavesdropped on our conversation?

*vigorous sweating*

Yeah, I-I�m glad it happened, but it totally wasn�t because of any of those Phantom Thieves, who are probably really awesome and can do a pull-up and don�t smell like cat.

Well, at least she was cool with it! That retroactively makes it okay!

It was painful to hear the truth, but I�m glad that my mother had a change of heart. I�ve decided� ...I�m not going to lose.

Oh, sorry! I was referring to the exhibition match� I�m going through with it, as planned. ...However, before that, I�m going to confess everything.

I know I�ll receive a lot of criticism� but I must ensure the truth is known. This next match will showcase my true talents. I don�t know how it�s going to go� but I hope you�ll watch. As your teacher, I promise to put up a good fight so I don�t embarrass myself.

I feel Hifumi�s trust in me...

�I would be lying if I told you that I�m not scared. My kingdom is a house of cards� I�m not sure if it can withstand a true battle. However, I intend to fight with dignity to the very end, as a queen should. There�s a new move I�d like to test out for the exhibition� Will you stay for another game? Please come at me with all you have�

I feel like playing shogi with Hifumi has helped sharpen my Knowledge...

Maaku gains Knowledge +1.

...I see, so there�s still room for improvement. I�d like to do this again some time.

Hifumi�s a pretty good character, honestly.

Arist fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Aug 29, 2019

# ? May 14, 2018 21:22

Blueberry Pancakes: Aug 18, 2012; Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!

Caroline's still going to kick you into the Velvet Room despite warming up to you, isn't she?

# ? May 14, 2018 21:35

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Hifumi is such a good character.

# ? May 14, 2018 21:36

Hwurmp: May 20, 2005

"Hubberton?" Seriously?

# ? May 14, 2018 21:54

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I'm kind of sad Hifumi isn't a party member.

# ? May 14, 2018 21:59

SoundwaveAU: Apr 17, 2018

Man, I feel so bad for Haru. She's rightfully worried, and her new friends are saying "Nah, it's good. We're awesome and we've totally got this." meanwhile as the player we are burdened with the knowledge that her dad's shadow got loving murdered and things are going to go terribly wrong in the near future.

SoundwaveAU fucked around with this message at 23:02 on May 14, 2018

# ? May 14, 2018 23:00

Omobono: Feb 19, 2013; That's it! No more hiding in tomato crates! It's time to show that idiota Germany how a real nation fights!

For pasta~! CHARGE!

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Caroline's still going to kick you into the Velvet Room despite warming up to you, isn't she?

No, no, no, of course not, that's crazy talk.
She's going to lovingly kick Joker into the Velvet Room from now on, that's a completely different thing.

# ? May 14, 2018 23:33

Rawkking: Sep 4, 2011

The isolation resistance/nullification skill learning mechanic is random but from my experience the odds are heavily weighted towards you getting a protection skill for something the persona is weak to. It's definitely worth making use of it because of that, despite getting random status ailment resistances at times.

You might have a higher chance to get a relevant skill if you leave the persona in there for a longer period of time too? I mostly left personas in there until I got the warning or I went to a palace / mementos.

# ? May 14, 2018 23:37

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

Arist posted:

it's gonna end up coming to me somehow

Arist x Hacker OTP

# ? May 15, 2018 00:14

Double May Care: Mar 28, 2012; We need Dragon-type Pokemon to help us prepare our food before we cook it. We're not sure why!

Man, I should have finished my Hifumi effort-post. We could be dating someone for popularity instead of money!

# ? May 15, 2018 00:15

Tempest_56: Mar 14, 2009

Arist posted:

I see� I suppose it�ll do us good to take it easy every now and then. Still, don�t go overboard. You can�t forget your primary duties as a high schooler. It�s important to play the part of a diligent student, right?

Whatever, lame-o. I�m giving up on you. The people have demanded Haru, and by god, they�ll get her!

Money is not the people. :colbert: