tips for getting a hooker

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > tips for getting a hooker

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

hakimashou posted:

Get some money and hold it in your hand and go find a street and wave it at women while pumping your hips and winking at them.

while im doing this is there some kind of unusual signal i should be doing to draw the attention of the hookers?

# ? Apr 18, 2017 09:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 23, 2024 23:44

Jesus Christ: Jun 1, 2000; mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers

Go to a first world country where prostitution is legal and give them your money like any normal transaction for services rendered.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 09:36

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

Jesus Christ posted:

Go to a first world country where prostitution is legal and give them your money like any normal transaction for services rendered.

Yea if you want to be required to use condoms. Enjoy your lame rear end prostitution experience.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 09:41

BLARGHLE: Oct 2, 2013; But I want something good
to die for
To make it beautiful to live.; Yams Fan

Grem posted:

Yea if you want to be required to use condoms. Enjoy your lame rear end prostitution experience.

Condoms suck less than getting an std

# ? Apr 18, 2017 09:44

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Grem posted:

Yea if you want to be required to use condoms. Enjoy your lame rear end prostitution experience.

There are clubs in germany where you can without them. I can't imagine why you would pay to do that though unless you are one of those bug chaser types.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 09:43

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

yeah I eat rear end posted:

There are clubs in germany where you can without them. I can't imagine why you would pay to do that though unless you are one of those bug chaser types.

bug chaser huh

# ? Apr 18, 2017 09:46

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Lol just lol if you don't just have FWB.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 09:50

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

I remember the thread where that pornstar posted and very quickly was run off by weird goons and the link to her website showed her bookings (because I guess some pornstars moonlight as prostitutes) and it was all blank

I felt bad for her

# ? Apr 18, 2017 10:00

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

BLARGHLE posted:

Condoms suck less than getting an std

I assure you the condom is for her protection, not mine.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 10:28

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

If you bang a whoore you contribute to sexual slavery in the world. Sure, she could be an independent whoore, but she could also be a slave

u dont know!

so dont bang whoores, unless you know for sure

# ? Apr 18, 2017 11:37

T.S. Smelliot: Apr 23, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

Man if only Jon pop were around he'd fix you up real good op

# ? Apr 18, 2017 11:53

T.S. Smelliot: Apr 23, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

He would even brag about how he could make a girl drink a cup of his piss that sounds like a real Pro tier jon

# ? Apr 18, 2017 12:04

Tim Chuma: Dec 19, 2009

Make friends with some nice ladies on twitter and see if you get on with them. Go somewhere it is legal to see them and do it there.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 12:14

nigga crab pollock: Mar 26, 2010; by Lowtax

sir this is a mcdonalds drive through

# ? Apr 18, 2017 13:08

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

Honestly I was kind of shocked how easy it is to get a prostitute today using the internet.

Like literally the elapsed amount of time between me wondering "I wonder if I can find a hooker online" to putting my clothes back on and leaving her house was less than two hours, no joke.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 23:40

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Bust Rodd posted:

Honestly I was kind of shocked how easy it is to get a prostitute today using the internet.

Like literally the elapsed amount of time between me wondering "I wonder if I can find a hooker online" to putting my clothes back on and leaving her house was less than two hours, no joke.

Yeah but your mom is pretty famous

# ? Apr 18, 2017 23:43

Serious Party Gods: Apr 2, 2009

Bust Rodd posted:

Honestly I was kind of shocked how easy it is to get a prostitute today using the internet.

Like literally the elapsed amount of time between me wondering "I wonder if I can find a hooker online" to putting my clothes back on and leaving her house was less than two hours, no joke.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 23:43

WatermelonGun: May 7, 2009

Bust Rodd posted:

Honestly I was kind of shocked how easy it is to get a prostitute today using the internet.

Like literally the elapsed amount of time between me wondering "I wonder if I can find a hooker online" to putting my clothes back on and leaving her house was less than two hours, no joke.

lol if you're not paying for the girlfriend experience. Rookie move.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 23:45

curried lamb of God: Aug 31, 2001; we are all Marwinners

put the money towards a Roth IRA, like a responsible adult

# ? Apr 18, 2017 23:46

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

I paid for the friend of a girl experience.

Why does a hooker need this heavy a printer?

# ? Apr 18, 2017 23:50

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

Frequently, hookers like drugs. Not always, but sometimes a lil bit of cocaine or speed will get her to pause the clock, at least until the coke/speed runs out.

# ? Apr 18, 2017 23:53

DONKEY SALAMI: Jun 28, 2008; donkey? donkey?

walk up to her and say "hellllllooooo hooker"

# ? Apr 19, 2017 00:06

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

gary oldmans diary posted:

prostitution is the opposite of the constitution

# ? Apr 19, 2017 00:09

Windows 98: Nov 13, 2005; HTTP 400: Bad post

pushpins posted:

Offer 50 bucks to take nude photos of her

That's some sneaky poo poo I tell you what

# ? Apr 19, 2017 00:18

Lawrence Gilchrist: Mar 31, 2010

WOW THANKS OP. YOU REALLY HOOKED Me up

# ? Apr 19, 2017 00:20

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Serious answer: Don't pick up a hooker off the street. Go to a legal brothel.

This way you know that she is definitely a hooker. You have a good idea she isn't being forced or co-erced into the sex trade, or doing it for crack. Also neither you nor her can get arrested.

I am not American, but I assume you are, and I have heard horrible things about your puritan anti sex and anti sex worker laws. Even still, if you are going to go to a hooker, it is best for all concerned that you save up, and do it right and do it legally. So just go on a holiday to Vegas and take the day trip to the Chicken Ranch or whatever it's called.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 00:27

jazzyhattrick: Jul 1, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://www.amazon.co.uk/T-J-Hooker-1-DVD-William-Shatner-x/dp/B000A0XTQW

Here ya go OP.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 00:33

Scroon: Oct 22, 2016

Zzulu posted:

If you bang a whoore you contribute to sexual slavery in the world. Sure, she could be an independent whoore, but she could also be a slave

u dont know!

so dont bang whoores, unless you know for sure

This is why you only get locally-sourced artisanal hookers. Cruelty free!

# ? Apr 19, 2017 00:33

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

buy a house and get a live-in girlfriend that both of you know but neither of you admit is only sleeping with you for a place to live rent-free
its called investoring. be an investor

# ? Apr 19, 2017 06:36