Search Amazon.com:
Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«34 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.




____________________________

Raw Results
  • Booker T is covering for David Otunga on commentary for the next 6 weeks while Otunga films a movie.

  • Braun Strowman came out to brag about his murder of Roman Reigns last week, all of which the crowd was enthusiatically receptive about. Kurt Angle came out and told Braun that Roman had asked for and been granted a match against Braun at Payback, and that Braun should take tonight off. Braun warned Kurt not to play games with him like Mick Foley did "or else", Kurt got in Braun's face and asked him,"Or else what?"

  • Seth Rollins was on commentary during a Chris Jericho/Samoa Joe match, itself booked after Joe helped Owens attack Jericho last week. Joe defeated Jericho and got on the mic to threaten Rollins (who has a new nickname - The Kingslayer), saying he popped his ligaments and that was just business, but now Rollins had taken out his benefactor Triple H it was personal. Rollins agreed it was personal, and warned him that Payback is a bitch.

  • The Club passed The Drifter on the way to the ring for a match with The Golden Truth. The latter were attacked by Braun Strowman who screamed that his warning was to EVERYONE, not just Reigns. Finlay and Jamie Noble ran Braun off and checked on Truth. After the break, a ref arrived to remind Braun he was given the night off, but Braun snapped he would leave when he wanted.

  • The Club were in the ring upset that they no longer had a match and demanded Kurt Angle send somebody out to face them. Enzo and Cass came out. They had a solid match that ended with a surprise but clean pin for The Club when Big Cass knocked himself and Gallows out of the ring and Anderson tossed Enzo into the turnbuckle and then pinned him.

  • Miz and Maryse came out for a MizTV segment, before they could introduce him Ambrose just came out and had some fun getting cheap pops for being in Ohio. He mocked Miz's suit and shoes, Miz argued that he dresses and acts the part of a Superstar but Ambrose is just a "wrassler" who flies in the face of all that. He pointed out that despite Ambrose's accomplishments in 2016 he was barely a blip on the radar at Wrestlemania, and it's because he's lazy and complacent. Ambrose retaliated by saying he doesn't care about branding (and doesn't even know what branding is) he just loves to wrestle and it doesn't matter what he we wears. Maryse called him a dirty street rat and Ambrose starting taking off his belt and jacket as Miz called him a joke of a champion. Ambrose threw his jacket at Maryse and tackled Miz, Maryse hit Ambrose and Miz tried to take advantage before taking a powder when Ambrose almost hit Dirty Deeds.

  • Backstage, Braun was hauling Kalisto along the crowd shouting that he was leaving and taking Kalisto with him. He called Roman Reigns garbage, said Kalisto was too and literally threw him into a dumpster full of garbage. As Braun strode away, he was shoulder charged by Big Show who roared at him to try picking on somebody his own size.

  • TJ Perkins had a match with Jack Gallagher. Cruiserweight Champion Neville came out to watch, and then Austin Aries showed up too with a mic to be "an even more special guest" and jammed himself into a seat directly beside Neville. TJP shoved Gallagher into Aries who immediately tried to get in TJP's face, only to be attacked by Neville. While Gallagher was distracted, TJP kicked the ropes into the face and then pinned him.

  • Akira Tozawa and Apollo Crews were backstage happily chatting when Titus O'Neill showed up. Tozawa left, O'Neill congratulated Crews on becoming a new father soon but then offered him advice on joining up with "The Titus Brand" and marketing his name.

  • The Hardys did a backstage promo about their return to WWE. Sheamus and Cesaro showed up to welcome them back, with Cesaro and Jeff set to have a match tonight. Sheamus talked about TLC at Wrestlemania 17 and said it would be an honor for he and Cesaro to win their tag titles back at Payback. Cesaro apologized for Sheamus saying he tends to upset things but he'd like to keep it friendly.

  • Alexa Bliss won a 4-way Number One Contender's match for Bayley's Women's Championship, beating Sasha Banks, Mickie James and Nia Jax. Nia dominated early but was knocked out of the ring while going after Alexa and was largely kept out for the first half of the match before getting back inside and dominating again. She broke out of a Mickie James armbar and intimidated Alexa into abandoning a top rope crossbody. They managed to get her outside the ring again but she returned to destroy everybody, but after hitting the Samoan Drop on Sasha she was kicked out of the ring by Alexa who pinned Sasha.

  • Backstage, The Big Show declared he was going to give Braun Strowman a big dose of his own medicine.

  • Curt Hawkins called out anybody to face him and out came Finn Balor, who was supposed to be concussed from getting elbowed in the face by Jinder the previous week. Finn defeated Hawkins in less than a minute.

  • Backstage Chris Jericho admitted that Samoa Joe got the better of him but there is no shame in that. He did a promo on Kevin Owens, insisting America deserves the face of Jericho as their US Champion. Whoever wins their match will go to Smackdown Live. He threatened to put the interviewer on The List of Jericho for not knowing he was Young Boy Tom (he wasn't), but was distracted by the Drifter coming by and put him on the list instead for being a Strange Straggling Strummer, a Weird Wandering Wayfarer and a Daffy Drifter Dandy.

  • Bray Wyatt delivered a Sermon for a Snake declaring that Randy Orton was scared of Bray in spite of easily beating him multiple times in spite of his powers. A lot of people insisted they heard Bray say that fear lived inside his rear end in a top hat.

  • Alicia Fox showed Dana Brooke video of her exploding gift she got on the last 205 Live. Evil Emma showed up and lied about Dana laughing behind Alicia's back, and Alicia demanded a match tomorrow (presumably on 205 Live?). Evil Emma explained that she did this so she could see for herself how Dana stands on her own two feet.

  • Michael Cole is now doing live reads for Zyzal allergy relief during the show.

  • Jeff Hardy defeated Cesaro in a lengthy match with a Twist of Fate/Swanton Bomb combo. After the match Sheamus and Cesaro offered handshakes to Matt and Jeff who hesitated then reciprocated.

  • Heath Slater and Rhyno showed up backstage where Slater celebrated how far he has come since not being drafted the previous year. He shut up and hid behind Rhyno as Braun Strowman stalked angrily past on the way to the ring.

  • Big Show vs Braun Strowman ended in a No-Contest after a great and fun match ended with the highly telegraphed but awesome ring collapse superplex spot. Ref John Cone flew out of the ring which also ruled. Crowd went apeshit and chanted,"YES! YES! YES!". Braun was back on his feet shortly after while Big Show was left laying. Braun roared in triumph to end the show.
____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • After a video package hyping the Superstar Shakeup and Smackdown's status as the "Land of Opportunity", Charlotte came to the ring. She complained that she hasn't gotten a title shot yet (after one week!) and Naomi came out and said she'd be happy to fight her right there and attacked her. Shane came out as a ref tried and failed to restrain Charlotte and announced a non-title match between the two tonight, with Charlotte to get a title shot if she can win. Charlotte attacked Naomi who got the better of her.

  • Backstage Nattie complained to Shane that Charlotte was getting an opportunity she wasn't. Carmella agreed with Nattie that it was unfair, with James Ellsworth adding in that Carmella was the one who deserved the shot. Tamina arrived too to complain, shouted at Ellsworth and they all argued until Nattie convinced them to come discuss a secret plan with her, leaving behind a confused Shane.

  • Jinder Mahal won (seriously!) the six-pack challenge against Mojo Rawley, Luke Harper, Erik Rowan, Dolph Ziggler and Sami Zayn to become the Number One Contender to the WWE Championship. Sami seemed to have the match won when he was grabbed by the ankles by the Bollywood Boys, distracting him and allowing Jinder the get the win. Jinder did an angry promo accusing the Americans of not accepting diversity but promising they would be forced to accept him as the next WWE Champion. This got a lot of heat and vocal booing from the crowd.

  • Randy Orton came out to warn Jinder that he won the jackpot by winning the match, but his prize won't be the title, it'll be an RKO. He turned his attention to Jinder and said he doesn't know what a House of Horrors match is (neither does WWE!) but if it is anything like the last house Bray took him too, he'll burn it down. Bray did a spooky promo on the titantrom

  • Video packages played hyping that the New Day will soon be on Smackdown, as well as a package celebrating the fact that Shinsuke Nakamura owns and is the best and is super cool.

  • Renee Young interviewed AJ Styles backstage and asked if he would prefer to face Kevin Owens or Chris Jericho for the US Title. AJ said it didn't matter, since this is Smackdown and that is HIS show. Baron Corbin showed up to shittalk AJ who was still on a high from his victory last week and offered Corbin another match tonight.

  • Charlotte met Tamina, Nattie, Carmella and Ellsworth who said they wanted to welcome her to Smackdown Live. They parted to let her pass and Nattie shoulder-bumped her as she walked past.

  • Charlotte beat Naomi clean to become Number One Contender to the Women's title after surviving a late rally, avoiding the Rear View and hitting the Natural Selection to get the pinfall. Returning backstage, Charlotte winked and WOOed at Nattie's entourage.

  • The Shining Stars beat American Alpha in a tag team match. THE SHINING STARS BEAT AMERICAN ALPHA IN A TAG TEAM MATCH. THE SHINING STARS BEAT AMERICAN ALPHA IN A TAG TEAM MATCH.

  • More video packages. The first was of Lana's new dancing gimmick, the next was on Tye Dillinger and was introduced by him during a backstage interview with Charley.

  • Kevin Owens introduced his new Face of America open challenge for the US Title. Owens kicked out the ring announcer and introduced himself and his local jobber opponent (who he made say his own name), Gary Gandy.... FROM LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY! Owens defeated Gandy in barely 30 seconds. Owens did a promo ragging on Americans, and declared himself the guest commentator for the main event.

  • AJ Styles defeated Baron Corbin by count-out. Near the end of the match Corbin tossed AJ into Kevin Owens at ringside, then AJ was able to hit the forearm off the ring apron and knock Corbin into the crowd, then make it back into the ring before the count. Owens still has to face Jericho for the title at Payback but they seem to be clearly setting up an Owens/AJ feud going forward.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at Apr 19, 2017 around 07:31

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

I hit the drums, so pay up

Big Show couldn't retire by losing to Shaq, so he said "gently caress it, send me out with another ring exploding spot" and it ruled

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005



BRAUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


Completely telegraphed spot but who cares because it was loving awesome

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

Mr. Intensity


Braun Strowman is cool and good and anyone who disagrees is a terrible person.

Smackdown has a high bar tomorrow, at least ending wise.

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"


Hail to the Strowman, giant killer, hound slayer

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

Do we have a picture of Paul McCartney?


Still legit worried about the Ref. I know he's most likely fine but...

Baron Corbyn
Jul 1, 2012

#AllHail




Braun Strowman is the best and I hope they don't throw this all the way by using him to try and get Roman over again.

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

The ref is dead.

YourHumbleMessiah
Oct 11, 2005

Monkey don' wan none dis banana



Dare I say RAW was actually a pretty good show this week? Looking forward to Smackdown.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


YourHumbleMessiah posted:

Dare I say RAW was actually a pretty good show this week? Looking forward to Smackdown.

Yeah I think so too. It mostly felt like an okay show but they actually did build to the main event and then delivered on it, and as always a strong ending usually leaves you feeling better about the show in general.

I also really dug the Women's 4-way, I thought everybody in there was handled pretty well.

Borrowed Ladder
May 4, 2007

monarch of the sleeping marches

Why didn't they just book Roman like theyre booking Strowman?? Roman is always playing face in peril, that poo poo is for the Jeff Hardys of the world

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


RIP WWE Referee John Cone

1974-2017

ijii
Mar 17, 2007
I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.


Are they seriously having another MIz vs Dean fued? Isn't the point of the shake-up to start up new feuds?

WadeBartender
Aug 18, 2013


Im gonna proclaim my love for the Drifter just randomly wandering around the arena and I just wish he did it on smackdown as well and they never explained it

4 inch cut no femmes
May 31, 2011


Beef Jerky Robot posted:

Hail to the Strowman, giant killer, hound slayer

the show stopper

Cardboard Box
Jul 14, 2009



what's wwe gonna do when big show retires and no one else is big enough to make the ring break spot convincing

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

I hit the drums, so pay up

Kalisto

Efexeye
Jan 25, 2007


*me, enjoying a Big Show match in2017* holy poo poo!

MotU
Mar 6, 2007

If you're gonna do it, do it with ~*~Axefaire~*~


Cardboard Box posted:

what's wwe gonna do when big show retires and no one else is big enough to make the ring break spot convincing

make big cass get really really fat

ijii
Mar 17, 2007
I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.


I loled at Raw's nod to the internet fans with Rhyno's crackers and cheeze-wiz.

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED

Why did the ring explode if Big Show lost weight

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one


https://twitter.com/bIackfrankwhite...656368422584320

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold



ijii posted:

Are they seriously having another MIz vs Dean fued? Isn't the point of the shake-up to start up new feuds?

dean needs some rehabbing although i doubt miz's promo skills will fix his ringwork

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006



Cardboard Box posted:

what's wwe gonna do when big show retires and no one else is big enough to make the ring break spot convincing

Mark Henry is never leaving.

Peter Bazooka
Sep 29, 2005

This isn’t really anything I think I like.

Put Braun in a handicap match against all the jobbers on raw and have him squash them all next week IMO

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED

Cardboard Box posted:

what's wwe gonna do when big show retires and no one else is big enough to make the ring break spot convincing

They have this Heavy Machinery

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

I hope we never see kalisto again

Marquis de Pyro
Sep 25, 2006

Evil Prevails

Midnightghoul posted:

Why did the ring explode if Big Show lost weight

Muscle is denser than fat so therefore the Big Show falling was about 8x more devastating than before

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

Ending was great but it feels like they want us to just forget they did this entire thing two months ago. Unless Braun beats Roman of course.

Cardboard Box
Jul 14, 2009



That DICK! posted:

I hope we never see kalisto again

he still has to show us his big lucha thing

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one


Cabbit
Jul 19, 2001

Uncle Bedlam wants YOU
..to blow something up.


Chris James 2 posted:

Big Show couldn't retire by losing to Shaq, so he said "gently caress it, send me out with another ring exploding spot" and it ruled


I can't believe John Cone was launched off a cliff into the center of the Earth on live television. It's so hosed up

Charles Gnarwin
Jul 31, 2014

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...



A Hogan sleeping with a black guy is what ruined the deal with the Saudis once already!

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

Also Dean's promo was really good and the kinda promo he should always cut.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

And if I'm gonna cry, I don't need your shoulder.

Erick Rowan is better than Babyface Strauman because Rowan makes wine.

Come at be bros.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold



BrigadierSensible posted:

Erick Rowan is better than Babyface Strauman because Rowan makes wine.

Come at be bros.

wine is good


but braun is better

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

God is dead, true love is a lie, and the yard belongs to the Big Dog.

OH IT'S TRUE. IT'S DAMN TRUE.


Braun Strowman loving owns.

It was good to hear how hard the announce team was putting Finn over on commentary, but I still can't believe his first program back is going to be a heatless feud with Bray freaking Wyatt. Also he needs to get a few new moves, I feel like "dropkicks, slingblade, coup de grace" can get old quickly.

Professor Funk fucked around with this message at Apr 18, 2017 around 03:45

Cardboard Box
Jul 14, 2009



BrigadierSensible posted:

Erick Rowan is better than Babyface Strauman because Rowan makes wine.

Come at be bros.

i love how to this day bryan alvarez calls him The Vintner

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Sauerkraut, onions, mustard... that's a damn good dog.


Plaster Town Cop

This is definitely, 100% building to Braun losing to Roman again. Don't kid yourselves.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«34 »