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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:I hate this guy's bad and dumb phrases and made-up words well i hate you 
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May 20, 2017 04:53
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This is great lol. It's sort of like an infusion pump but for lazy people, which is filling more of a market need than the expensive device I imagine
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May 20, 2017 05:01
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So yeah absolutely massive article on Doug Evans and Juicero pieced together from numerous employees, ex employees, contractors etc by Gizmodo. Its huge so I don't feel like copying it. The Mad King of Juice: Inside the Dysfunctional Origins of Juicero http://gizmodo.com/the-mad-king-of-juice-inside-the-dysfunctional-origins-1795330639 Good stuff. Lots of behind the scenes antics of the former CEO. Takes digs at some of their hilarious bullshit claims about how they've perfectly encapsulated only the best and most perfect juice. Like this nugget about inferior juicing techniques: Juicero Blog posted:Benefit #1: You get the good stuff In the Land of the Juice, the Mad Juice King Lies...... Dreaming
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May 20, 2017 05:04
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oh no, not our motherfucking bacteria. eat some yogurt or something, white girl food is full of that poo poo
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May 20, 2017 05:10
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ Has this been posted in here yet?
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May 20, 2017 05:36
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literally a hog posted:So yeah absolutely massive article on Doug Evans and Juicero pieced together from numerous employees, ex employees, contractors etc by Gizmodo. Its huge so I don't feel like copying it. False advertising regarding environmental sustainability and organic qualities, cost overruns, tinpot dictatorship management style, etc. All of this is simply another entry in capitalism.txt
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May 20, 2017 05:50
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literally a hog posted:So yeah absolutely massive article on Doug Evans and Juicero pieced together from numerous employees, ex employees, contractors etc by Gizmodo. Its huge so I don't feel like copying it. Lol, how could you not quote this nugget: quote:And what Evans wants, allegedly, can range from impractical to humiliating. Several employees related an anecdote in which flies had begun cropping up in the company’s San Francisco office. Evans—a vegan who at one point only allowed his employees to expense vegan meals on business trips—refused to implement a solution that would kill them. “I had to interview companies and ask if they had a catch-and-release program,” an employee recounted. “I went through links to help him understand that even that is not humane. It’s actually more stressful on the pests for you to catch them and relocate them.” Gizmodo could not confirm how or if the issue was resolved, and Juicero declined to make Evans available for an interview.
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May 21, 2017 05:51
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:I hate this guy's bad and dumb phrases and made-up words that's how everyone in Canada talks, please don't mock our rich cultural heratage
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May 21, 2017 06:01
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just lol if you dont juice things with your dick
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May 21, 2017 06:08
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Rutibex posted:that's how everyone in Canada talks, please don't mock our rich cultural heratage What a hoser.
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May 21, 2017 06:26
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It's only a matter of time before someone figures out how to turns discarded juice squeezers into CBT machines. Behold! The Jizzero! (Muffled screams as dominatrix pulps gimps balls). That Canadian guy that rips gadgets and tools apart loving rules. I have the privilege of interacting with many Canadian truckers at work and those guys are cuter than a puppy when they get angry. Canadians, keep doing what you do. I love you all so much.
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May 21, 2017 09:49
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Grumbletron 4000 posted:It's only a matter of time before someone figures out how to turns discarded juice squeezers into CBT machines. Behold! The Jizzero! (Muffled screams as dominatrix pulps gimps balls). I bet you did. Lot of truckers at work eh?
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May 21, 2017 09:57
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Psycho Society posted:I bet you did. Lot of truckers at work eh? Darn right. Gonna a get ol' Tom run a 40 footer of repurposed juicers for your balls all the way up to PEI. Those fellas know how to abuse their testicles better than anyone else in the north or the south for that matter I tell ya!
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May 21, 2017 10:24
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ZombieJesus posted:Lol, how could you not quote this nugget: Sorry, my computer power supply died and I'm mostly phoneposting so I opted not to quote the whole thing.  Yeah these types are all charicatures of real people. Like the Soylent CEO who took the "4 liter water challege" and severely dehydrated himself so he wouldn't have to piss in the sink as much and took homebrew antibiotics to kill all his beneficial gut bacteria so he wouldn't poop for a week. Can't waste all that water on flushing toilets. They always subscribe to wildly unhealthy behaviors that would probably kill large portions of the populace and be completely unsustainable in the long run.
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May 22, 2017 00:20
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:I hate this guy's bad and dumb phrases and made-up words this post is unskookum as frig
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May 22, 2017 00:29
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Honky Dong Country posted:Hell yeah dude. We've got two apple trees and two reinier(sp?) cherry trees, plus blackberry and raspberry bushes. It's loving awesome. We eat a shitload of apples and cherries when they're on and what blackberries and raspberries we can't eat get made into jams. And a lot of the jam that we won't eat gets given to family, friends, and neighbors. Don't birds and squirrels gently caress that poo poo up? I had a squirrel eat all the peaches off my peach tree; what he didn't eat, he knocked off anyway and poo poo on it. I think he's trying to send a message.
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May 22, 2017 01:05
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Salty Josh posted:Don't birds and squirrels gently caress that poo poo up? I had a squirrel eat all the peaches off my peach tree; what he didn't eat, he knocked off anyway and poo poo on it. I think he's trying to send a message. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhLBXC4pz-c
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May 22, 2017 01:18
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literally a hog posted:Sorry, my computer power supply died and I'm mostly phoneposting so I opted not to quote the whole thing. What is the "4 liter challenge"? I'm assuming something ridiculous like "Only drink 4 liters of water a month for superpowers" or something.
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May 22, 2017 01:34
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:What is the "4 liter challenge"? I'm assuming something ridiculous like "Only drink 4 liters of water a month for superpowers" or something.
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May 22, 2017 02:07
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:I hate this guy's bad and dumb phrases and made-up words https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinook_Jargon#Chinook_Jargon_words_used_by_English-language_speakers
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May 22, 2017 02:18
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:What is the "4 liter challenge"? I'm assuming something ridiculous like "Only drink 4 liters of water a month for superpowers" or something. https://www.4liters.org/ quote:You probably take water for granted, but millions of people can’t afford to. It's about raising awareness of people still lacking access to a reliable source of clean water - NOT abusing one's body in the name of extreme environmentalism.
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May 22, 2017 02:45
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Maldoror posted:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinook_Jargon#Chinook_Jargon_words_used_by_English-language_speakers
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May 22, 2017 02:56
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Salty Josh posted:Don't birds and squirrels gently caress that poo poo up? I had a squirrel eat all the peaches off my peach tree; what he didn't eat, he knocked off anyway and poo poo on it. I think he's trying to send a message. We lose some to squirrels yeah, but not that much. It's a rural area with all kinds of predatory birds so the squirrels tend a keep a much lower profile than their more brazen city cousins. You hear them rustling around in the woods at the edge of the property more than you actually see them. Deer are much worse. But there's several different things you can do to ward them off. Fences don't help a ton since deer can jump high as gently caress but it's worth having. There's things like a couple aluminum foil pie tins and stuff that'll make noises to startle them when a breeze comes, and motion-activated sprinklers are a good one. In the end the wildlife get their share of it but we've never gotten wiped out.
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May 22, 2017 03:05
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Maldoror posted:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinook_Jargon#Chinook_Jargon_words_used_by_English-language_speakers lol when you said chinook jargon I figured it was slang used by helicopter mechanics the chinook were the only native tribe to independently invent the multi-gear reducing drive, which they used for purely ceremonial purposes
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May 22, 2017 03:33
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Klyith posted:lol when you said chinook jargon I figured it was slang used by helicopter mechanics It would later be used in helicopters.
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May 22, 2017 06:16
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Cockmaster posted:https://www.4liters.org/ #DISRUPT your gastrointestinal system and Big Toilet industry
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May 22, 2017 14:12
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so idk dick about engineering but from that Canadian guy's video these juicers cost $1000+ to make and they had so much faith in their subscription model they were selling them for $400? lol
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May 22, 2017 15:42
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update from cool canadian shop guy, how to hack your Jucero brand pouch squeezing machiene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVmppyflS0
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May 25, 2017 19:20
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"what if....we made a juicer.....THAT CONNECTS TO YOUR PHONE" *idiot man who wears a suit with colorful socks to show thats hes serious but also plaafyul cums and $2 million dollar shoots out of his beet shaped dick"
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May 25, 2017 19:35
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Every time I see the title of this thread among other threads it puts a smile on my face. 
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May 25, 2017 21:20
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJsOA4Zl6Io
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May 25, 2017 21:39
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Can we really call this thing a juicer? The word "Juicer" means it shreds/mulches/whatevers the raw materials till you can make a drinkable liquid out of it. This thing just squeezes stuff that is already juice out of a bag. It's kind of an insult to actual juicers.
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May 25, 2017 22:55
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Grumbletron 4000 posted:It's only a matter of time before someone figures out how to turns discarded juice squeezers into CBT machines. Behold! The Jizzero! (Muffled screams as dominatrix pulps gimps balls). I don't know. I think if you're a dominatrix then, once again, just squeezing will be more effective than using this machine.
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May 25, 2017 22:59
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Has anyone ever seen Rachel Ray's Terminator hands in action? She squeezed an orange so hard one time on TV I thought it was going to turn into a diamond. Maybe she should work on upgrading this piece of poo poo.
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May 25, 2017 23:18
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Rutibex posted:update from cool canadian shop guy, how to hack your Jucero brand pouch squeezing machiene I love how this dude goes on about how much work went into this only for it to be complete poo poo due to the fact the guys making it had no actual money restraints. Dudes taking advantage of a retard who wanted to sell a DRM based juicer and take advantage of bigger idiots.
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May 26, 2017 21:01
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I hope the juice machine people start getting mad at bad reviews and remotely disable the reviewers' devices like this Garadget(lol) guy did: http://www.businessinsider.com/iot-garage-door-opener-garadget-kills-customers-device-bad-amazon-review-2017-4 Maybe more antics like this will stop people from buying so much internet-connected garbage that doesn't need a connection to anything besides a power outlet, but probably not!
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May 26, 2017 21:09
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Buff Skeleton posted:I hope the juice machine people start getting mad at bad reviews and remotely disable the reviewers' devices like this Garadget(lol) guy did: http://www.businessinsider.com/iot-garage-door-opener-garadget-kills-customers-device-bad-amazon-review-2017-4 everything that is connected to the internet is spying on you, i dont understand why people buy this poo poo. the Jucero has a camera in it for the DRM scanning, but you can be drat sure its also taking pics of your kitchen and uploading it to jucerios "quality assurance database".
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May 26, 2017 23:29
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Rutibex posted:everything that is connected to the internet is spying on you, i dont understand why people buy this poo poo. the Jucero has a camera in it for the DRM scanning, but you can be drat sure its also taking pics of your kitchen and uploading it to jucerios "quality assurance database". People see this as a problem, I see it as a solution to the problem of "How can I maximize the number of Silicon Valley bros I can Goatse?" Mega64 fucked around with this message at 12:50 on May 28, 2017 |
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May 28, 2017 12:05
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CharlestonJew posted:so idk dick about engineering but from that Canadian guy's video these juicers cost $1000+ to make and they had so much faith in their subscription model they were selling them for $400? lol These dumb juice packs cost $8 a piece. Generously subtract $1 for production, shipping and handling costs from that and you have $7*365=$2555 pure profit per year. Fleecing idiots with too much money is a gold mine. That's why they got $120M in VC for that poo poo in the first place e: the most important part of this scheme is that it shouldn't be possible to buy these juice packs off brand for $1 a piece at the store and also no way to reduce the consumption, which is where the DRM and subscription comes in. If you already got the juice in the fridge, if you already paid for it, you are probably gonna use it anyway. GABA ghoul fucked around with this message at 12:48 on May 28, 2017 |
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May 28, 2017 12:45
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