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The next .com crash is going to be just as hilarious as the first.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:11
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In some countries they sell flat soda marketed as juice. MinuteMaid (coca cola) sells SunnyD with pulp added and calls it orange juice.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:11
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EvilJoven posted:The next .com crash is going to be just as hilarious as the first. I hope it's soon + to be able to buy a house during it my job is subsidized by foreign wars so it's very secure for the next 4-8 years
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Apr 19, 2017 18:13
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Pre-Cambrian Syndrome posted:Personally, I can't wait to find out what kind of nice things the history books will say about us. In 50 years some illiterate fisherman in a loincloth over at Florida sea will have his line snag on something heavy. He'll struggle with it, using every ounce of his malnourished strength, imagining he caught a great fish of some sort, but its only a 400 dollar juicer.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:16
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Hell yes another silicon valley thread. Any goons working there??
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Apr 19, 2017 18:17
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Pre-Cambrian Syndrome posted:Personally, I can't wait to find out what kind of nice things the history books will say about us. The Renaissance was a pretty awful time for most people, but that doesn't stop a bunch of dorks from celebrating that every year.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:18
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Venture capital guys would probably get a better return on their investment if they bet the money on a dog fight instead
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Apr 19, 2017 18:18
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haljordan posted:Venture capital guys would probably get a better return on their investment if they bet the money on a dog fight instead uber lost $2.8 billion dollars in venture capital last year lmao they're prly going to collapse by the end of 2018
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Apr 19, 2017 18:20
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frakeaing HAMSTER DANCE posted:The F-35 of juicers
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Apr 19, 2017 18:20
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Are Sodastreams good, Israel aside?
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Apr 19, 2017 18:20
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T.O. will you suck the juice out of my bags?
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Apr 19, 2017 18:21
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Dandywalken posted:Are Sodastreams good, Israel aside? they're p dope if you can get the co2 tanks cheap
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Apr 19, 2017 18:21
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*steps in front of massive auditorium of venture capitalists* "This thing contains so much loving technology app type poo poo that your goddamn kids couldn't even figure it out. We're the only juicer in the entire world that works with the power of a fat guy sitting on a bag!" *the applause is thunderous*
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Apr 19, 2017 18:21
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Dandywalken posted:Are Sodastreams good, Israel aside? The soda in stuff like that is always worse than even store brand stuff.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:22
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AEMINAL posted:Hell yes another silicon valley thread. i work from home
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Apr 19, 2017 18:23
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Juice the rich
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Apr 19, 2017 18:23
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OXBALLS DOT COM posted:Burn silicon valley to the ground and hang all the bankers and vc
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Apr 19, 2017 18:23
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Dandywalken posted:Are Sodastreams good, Israel aside? if you drink so much sugar water that saving pennies per drink sounds like an attractive financial proposition, then yes
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Apr 19, 2017 18:23
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boner confessor posted:uber lost $2.8 billion dollars in venture capital last year lmao They also completely tanked the value of taxicab medallions in areas where they can cost more than a house. DISRUPT!!!!!
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Apr 19, 2017 18:26
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gently caress da Mods posted:Juice the rich
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Apr 19, 2017 18:25
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The best part is the VCs knew that it was just squeezed bags of pre-made juice and are only mad that the bags weren't somehow made knife and hand proof.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:25
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In case you were wonder the juice bag dispenser does have a phone app https://www.juicero.com/app/ Connect to Something Greater The Juicero app connects your Press and tells the complete story of your juice—from farm to glass.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:28
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boner confessor posted:if you drink so much sugar water that saving pennies per drink sounds like an attractive financial proposition, then yes If you're using it for a coke knockoff I'm not even sure it's cost efficient, those syrup things are pretty expensive I think
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Apr 19, 2017 18:30
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wyoak posted:It's pretty nice to always have carbonated water for mixed drinks on the ready. we recieved a keurig as a gift and after the complimentary pods ran out my wife and i just use it as an electric kettle for tea
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Apr 19, 2017 18:31
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boner confessor posted:uber lost $2.8 billion dollars in venture capital last year lmao (all those companies bleed money like that until they establish a monopoly at which point they can do whatever they want and start being profitable, for example: Amazon) hilariously unfair business practices but good luck suing the billionaires
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Apr 19, 2017 18:32
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The single serving juice bags cost $7 each lmao
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Apr 19, 2017 18:33
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Three Olives posted:In case you were wonder the juice bag dispenser does have a phone app Lmao idiots deserve to have their money taken
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Apr 19, 2017 18:33
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wyoak posted:It's pretty nice to always have carbonated water for mixed drinks at the ready. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr9KfXXU0Ko
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Apr 19, 2017 18:33
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Dial-a-Dog posted:The single serving juice bags cost $7 each lmao ahaha holy poo poo
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Apr 19, 2017 18:34
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You guys remember Theranos? http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-05-18/elizabeth-holmes-admits-theranos-technolgy-fraud-restates-voids-years-test-results?page=6&src=ilaw quote:Elizabeth Holmes Admits Theranos' "Technology" Is A Fraud: Restates, Voids Years Of Test Results hahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha eat the rich
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Apr 19, 2017 18:34
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this product is really really funny, thanks. 400 bespoke parts lmao
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Apr 19, 2017 18:35
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$120 million dollars invested in a juicer smdh though to be fair, this thread has brought me great joy so thank you VCs
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Apr 19, 2017 18:36
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boner confessor posted:yeah, they were hoping to sell expensive gadgets tied to expensive juice bags to suckers. with any scam, there's two kinds of people involved - the suckers who lose money, and the people who hope to take the sucker's money i especially love the part where there wasn't even a working prototype dude just created a piece of plastic and got $120 million. I wish I could do that
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Apr 19, 2017 18:36
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COMRADES posted:(all those companies bleed money like that until they establish a monopoly at which point they can do whatever they want and start being profitable, for example: Amazon) amazon kept investing their actual for real earned profits in infrastructure tho and kept gradually expanding their business until they became a giant uber can't turn a profit and is burning vc funds trying and failing to establish a monopoly - they keep leaving lucrative markets because they aren't willing to conform to local regulations meanwhile they're constantly hit by scandals, a lot of their senior c suite staff is turning over, and they're resorting to the absolutely moronic plan of "oh we'll just use self driving cars" to attract ever stupider or more desperate investors to keep the whole scam going. alphabet's waymo branch is currently suing uber for stealing their technology and it looks real grim, so there's that too meanwhile uber's business model isn't anything special, it can and has been imitated by dozens of smaller firms that aren't spending billions on market share and subsidizing rides uber is completely hosed
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Apr 19, 2017 18:37
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is there a tie in with soylent? *gets debit card ready with hands shaking*
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Apr 19, 2017 18:37
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r u ready to WALK posted:Trigger warning Trigger warning is correct, it's about high time DPRK punches the trigger and nukes California.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:38
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RaySmuckles posted:$120 million dollars invested in a juicer No $120 million invested in a squeezer.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:39
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the one nice thing about uber is that half of the actual cost of your uber trip is paid for by some bay area venture capital firm so thanks for the $40 in free rides, rich douchebags
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Apr 19, 2017 18:39
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Somebody's gonna use that machine to crush their balls.
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Apr 19, 2017 18:40
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Honky Dong Country posted:Somebody's gonna use that machine to crush their balls. honestly, $120m is worth it if someone does this
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Apr 19, 2017 18:41
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