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barfdog




being so gargantuan in height that i lie about being short on my dating profiles

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owlhawk911

barfdog posted:

being so gargantuan in height that i lie about being short on my dating profiles

i am a mere 6'3", perfectly compatible with modern furniture and appliances. i fit in a regular car, and buy clothes at a store


https://i.imgur.com/vLsp28z.mp4
this sig brought to you by heather papps

owlhawk911

i have never been painted green and used to advertise canned vegetables


https://i.imgur.com/vLsp28z.mp4
this sig brought to you by heather papps

barfdog




owlhawk911 posted:

i am a mere 6'3", perfectly compatible with modern furniture and appliances. i fit in a regular car, and buy clothes at a store

my legs definitely don't hang off the end of the bed by the knees, and there are absolutely some rides that i am not tall enough for

Jaguars!



Finger Prince posted:

I don't understand, is the funery mound somehow portable? Or is it some ritual burial site for broken wheels?

A 30th century monument that's just a rusted wheelbarrow in the woods with a skeleton in it, a sign next to it says do not touch, scarfacian era funerary barrow

Goons Are Great

Please drink responsibly


barfdog posted:

being so gargantuan in height that i lie about being short on my dating profiles

Oh no, I love to fly! Sit back, relax, stretch your legs and enjoy the view, it's a miracle of technology that I wouldn't want to miss for any train ride.


Christoph

There was a guy in prison we called Predator Pat the Pretentious Pedophile and I always wanted to like write a skit about it but I couldn't figure out how

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Gene Hackman Fan


The $25,000 Pyramid, but it's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Yinlock


barfdog posted:

being so gargantuan in height that i lie about being short on my dating profiles

hahaha

complaining about my gigantic dong ruining my life but everyone thinks i'm bragging


Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)


Gene Hackman Fan posted:

The $25,000 Pyramid, but it's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

That little mountain climber guy from the price is right, but it's Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

barfdog




Yinlock posted:

hahaha

complaining about my gigantic dong ruining my life but everyone thinks i'm bragging

complaining about your significant other being a nymphomaniac because it's literally exhausting and painful and all your friends are liek "oh sure what a HORRIBLE PROBLEM TO HAVE"

Gene Hackman Fan


Finger Prince posted:

That little mountain climber guy from the price is right, but it's Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

"How much do you think that toaster is worth?"

"Being able to gently caress, Drew."

"Is that th--?"

*BUZZER*

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




playing plinko to determine which of my needs is met today

"come on come on emotional connection gently caress NO I GOT "EAT ENOUGH" AGAIN!!!"


thanks everyone for posting, but six and vanisher especially!!!

Cubone

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
a man walks into a talent agency and says, "boy I got a great act for ya, wait til you see it, it's a family act"
the talent agent says "okay pal, what do you call it?" and the man says "the aristocrats"

Gene Hackman Fan


Heather Papps posted:

playing plinko to determine which of my needs is met today

"come on come on emotional connection gently caress NO I GOT "EAT ENOUGH" AGAIN!!!"

Oh you're watching the Scandinavian edition? Because the US version just had seventeen slots marked 'zero' and one slot with 'blue angel flyby'

ghost emoji

oooOooOOOooh

Cubone posted:

a man walks into a talent agency and says, "boy I got a great act for ya, wait til you see it, it's a family act"
the talent agent says "okay pal, what do you call it?" and the man says "the aristocrats"

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
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Prurient Squid

My gameboard is pafecto
Ushiromiya BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

Oppais Dei.

Khanstant

HONKING IS VIOLENCE

i made this a while ago and thought about making some kind of photoshop phriday type thread for it but Fritzi Ritz isn't exactly relevant these days

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




Khanstant posted:

i made this a while ago and thought about making some kind of photoshop phriday type thread for it but Fritzi Ritz isn't exactly relevant these days


i would post a phriday with this one image and take the punishment. this is very very good.


thanks everyone for posting, but six and vanisher especially!!!

owlhawk911

Gene Hackman Fan posted:

Oh you're watching the Scandinavian edition? Because the US version just had seventeen slots marked 'zero' and one slot with 'blue angel flyby'


https://i.imgur.com/vLsp28z.mp4
this sig brought to you by heather papps

canyoneer


I only have canyoneyes for you

got the rental moving truck for another 6 hours and coming up with ideas to best utilize it.
filling an inflatable pool in the back and setting up a mobile swimming pool
backing into the driveway of a house with the for sale sign and hoping one of the neighbors brings me banana bread
buying a drumset and playing it inside

ChubbyChecker
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!

google THIS posted:

If the Founding Fathers were Founding Dads.

"We just drafted a new document. It's called the Constitution."

"Really? What's it about?"

"It's about four pages."


FakeBlood

Alive and kicking.

just the phrase "ipad thai"

ChubbyChecker
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!

FakeBlood posted:

just the phrase "ipad thai"

used to read spicy posts


FakeBlood

Alive and kicking.

I'd love to see those posts

nut


Crisprs

Not a chip not a cracker just a perfect disease-free baby boy with shining blue eyes, fair golden hair, and an 8 pack and wings

Prurient Squid

My gameboard is pafecto
Ushiromiya BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

Do Americans have chedders because that sounds a bit like them.

WindmillSlayer


title looking up - definitions such as where the ceiling is or a google[1] END title

POST:

quote:

so like i play dnd not that much and not really with friends on like maybe discord or whatever but theres the whole "always look up" religion and im part of it im an atheist in real life though

im chilling listening to madvilliany today and like idk im blunted[2] and before i stand up to get one of my several metal water bottles i use as i take conservation seriously, i check the ceiling.

just to make sure i suppose.

anyway i think its pretty funny i checked the ceiling for traps or possibly a hidden water bottle andi wanted to share that.








[1] i do not recommend either of these tryhard definitions

[2] this whole post should have actually be about telling on yourself and really smart and cool and just about mfdoom but i didnt figure it out until after i started making this post and i hope it was ok.

oliwan


huh

owlhawk911

happiness

hah, penis


https://i.imgur.com/vLsp28z.mp4
this sig brought to you by heather papps

Christoph

owlhawk911 posted:

happiness

hah, penis

Pursuit of hat penis

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

ChubbyChecker
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!

owlhawk911 posted:

happiness

hah, penis


super sweet best pal


owlhawk911 posted:

happiness

hah, penis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeSC4uWV9Mc

alnilam

Postin in the springtime



owlhawk911 posted:

happiness

hah, penis

hah, penis is a warm gun

magic cactus

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation
One of those "do X and innovate"-style TED talks except it's a man talking about all the bizarre sex tips he picked up on pornhub.




----------------
Thanks to Pot Smoke Phoenix and Heather Papps For The Amazing Sigs!

owlhawk911

alnilam posted:

hah, penis is a warm gun


https://i.imgur.com/vLsp28z.mp4
this sig brought to you by heather papps

HUSKY DILF

aggressively chill

alnilam posted:

hah, penis is a warm gun

HUSKY DILF

aggressively chill

less a joke than a realization the other day that the title of bon joviís album slippery when wet could be referring to something sexual in nature

SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

HUSKY DILF posted:

less a joke than a realization the other day that the title of bon jovi’s album slippery when wet could be referring to something sexual in nature

My floor mopping fetish

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Heather Papps


hello internet friend




the collective noun for a gathering of moms is a "judgement"


thanks everyone for posting, but six and vanisher especially!!!

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