Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Twenty Four

Prurient Squid posted:

You've heard of Han Solo. Now it's time for Ham Solo.

A ham smuggler? a byob tradition!

# ? Jan 13, 2023 22:19

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:49

Dip Viscous

top 10 items in your house that are banned by the hague convention

# ? Jan 14, 2023 03:33

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

I was told a few of my household items were banned by the vague convention but they weren't really specific

https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig!

# ? Jan 14, 2023 03:40

Shifty Nipples

Dip Viscous posted:

top 10 items in your house that are banned by the hague convention

my dick?

youare mom?

Thanks Plant MONSTER. and deep dish peat moss and deep dish peat moss and deep dish peat moss

# ? Jan 14, 2023 03:43

baka of lathspell

Viginti Septem posted:

I was told a few of my household items were banned by the vague convention but they weren't really specific

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# ? Jan 14, 2023 03:46

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Bending only at the knees, and keeping his back perpendicular to the ground, the Austrian physicist prepared to show the world, for the first time, what would henceforth be known as Schrödinger's Box Squat. With a clean, upward thrusting motion, Erwin grunted once, and then prolapsed the wave function.

https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig!

# ? Jan 14, 2023 04:11

Dip Viscous

Shifty Nipples posted:

my dick?

youare mom?

that's only one item

# ? Jan 14, 2023 04:24

Finger Prince

Viginti Septem posted:

I was told a few of my household items were banned by the vague convention but they weren't really specific

Oh I think I heard about that. Where did they hold that convention again?

# ? Jan 14, 2023 04:27

The Voice of Labor

jerky bran

# ? Jan 14, 2023 04:50

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Slavoj Zizek does an in depth analysis of the guy turning into a car.

# ? Jan 14, 2023 12:17

caspergers

death sext posted:

it's like deadliest warrior except instead of a samurai vs spetsnaz it's a ghost vs a skeleton and we all discuss the various pros and cons of being a ghost and skeleton warrior

ex. little ghosts can merge and form one big ghost but a skeleton can hold a gun

I hear dailywire+ will release a new horror film for republicans about job-stealing, it's called robots vs mexicans

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jan 14, 2023 12:39

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Hark, here comes the fun maker.

# ? Jan 14, 2023 13:09

Karate Bastard

Ghosts are actually very dangerous because they're highly flammable, and often hang out in dusty old basements, and we're like oh no don't bring the candelabra down there, don't bring an ignition source into what's clearly a high risk dust explosion hazard area, oh no

# ? Jan 14, 2023 13:14

Karate Bastard

What many people don't know is that not only do leaf blowers work very well on ghosts and other manifestations, but so do vacuum cleaners. Think about it. Have you ever seen a ghost near a vacuum cleaner? No you haven't. They're like cats that way

# ? Jan 14, 2023 13:17

Karate Bastard

Sure you can use a leaf blower but then all you're doing is blowing the ghosts around and you get ghosts everywhere. Use a vacuum cleaner instead. Bada bing bada slurp slurp all bagged up and ready for rehabilitation and release into the wild.

# ? Jan 14, 2023 13:20

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

The most stacked of the Greek philosophers, Socratitties.

E:

Did I just reinvent anime from first principles?

# ? Jan 14, 2023 13:34

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

After the Exorcist comes out curiosity into the Mesopotamian wind deity Pazuzu increases. A New Age religin based on a return to a kinder, gentler Pazuzu is formed. A guy becomes a Pazuzu worshiper but the twist is his best buddy is a Jesuit priest. Every christmas they watch the Exorcist together and have a good laugh.

# ? Jan 14, 2023 14:14

Karate Bastard

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings.

Every time you fart, a ghost, well, you know... *jazz hands, fart noises*

# ? Jan 14, 2023 14:50

Karate Bastard

Ghosts, vacuum cleaners, and the ethics of using our forebears as fuel.

# ? Jan 14, 2023 14:51

Karate Bastard

The really bad farts go straight to hell, into the infernal combustion engine

# ? Jan 14, 2023 14:52

baka of lathspell

Karate Bastard posted:

Sure you can use a leaf blower but then all you're doing is blowing the ghosts around and you get ghosts everywhere. Use a vacuum cleaner instead. Bada bing bada slurp slurp all bagged up and ready for rehabilitation and release into the wild.

i hate to inform you but this is the plotcraft to the Nintendo game luigis mansion on the gamecube

for ghosts the best weapon is a camera and the approach should be similar to one�s approach in Pok�mon snap on the n64 and GameCube

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# ? Jan 14, 2023 15:12

Karate Bastard

Really? That's awesome lol

# ? Jan 14, 2023 15:18

Karate Bastard

Me and my crew putting the thics in ethics.

# ? Jan 14, 2023 17:25

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Everybody loves Raymond directed by David Lynch.

# ? Jan 14, 2023 18:56

Karate Bastard

Hey what about muppets

...by David Lynch?

Hang on that's just a nightmare before Christmas isn't it?

# ? Jan 14, 2023 19:20

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

"Comment is superfluous" he said, superfluously.

# ? Jan 14, 2023 19:39

baka of lathspell

trying to figure out the right fork on a dude signing his posts �an awesome guy�

don�t sign your� i mean sign your posts correctly :smug:

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# ? Jan 14, 2023 23:14

Karate Bastard

You do know we all can see who posted your posts, right?

# ? Jan 14, 2023 23:57

baka of lathspell

Karate Bastard posted:

You do know we all can see who posted your posts, right?

it was someone else

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# ? Jan 15, 2023 01:21

baka of lathspell

i also don�t know if that�s being aggro, I don�t think it is but if it is I was just posting an hypothetical instance wherein someone who signs his posts an awesome dude and makes himself impossible to burn. like the joke is that it would be hard because if you say don�t sign your posts you�re agreeing they�re an awesome guy

tbh I didn�t think it was inflammatory @ all tho

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# ? Jan 15, 2023 01:33

The Voice of Labor

the signage in front of a roadside adventurers convenience store proclaiming hard tack, pemmican, spell ingredients and the lukewarmest ale in town

# ? Jan 15, 2023 02:07

Shifty Nipples

The Voice of Labor posted:

the signage in front of a roadside adventurers convenience store proclaiming hard tack, pemmican, spell ingredients and the lukewarmest ale in town

there is also a sign that says "free beer tomorrow" but you can time travel so you know there will be no free beer tomorrow

Thanks Plant MONSTER. and deep dish peat moss and deep dish peat moss and deep dish peat moss

# ? Jan 15, 2023 02:26

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

An army drill instructor turned record producer...

That's as far as I got.

# ? Jan 15, 2023 12:31

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

"So far from God, so close to Twitter..."

There's something here. Got to find a way of making the joke work.

# ? Jan 15, 2023 15:15

sephiRoth IRA: "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Turns out horses are piloted by extremely small, anxiety ridden aliens with no object permanence or short term memory

"OH gently caress SLIGHTLY UNEVEN DIRT" *crashes snd dies*

HP = fine art itt

# ? Jan 15, 2023 17:00

Harold Fjord

baka fwocka fwame posted:

trying to figure out the right fork on a dude signing his posts “an awesome guy”

don’t sign your… i mean sign your posts correctly

Reporting them for account sharing

# ? Jan 15, 2023 18:03

baka of lathspell

Harold Fjord posted:

Reporting them for account sharing

that�s a good one and sorry if that was the joke sn was making I just had an awk mo

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# ? Jan 15, 2023 20:56

calhoun: Can't post for 3 hours!

clever girl

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jan 15, 2023 23:56

Karate Bastard

Thinking about Terry Pratchett's camels, who move so awkwardly because they have neither body awareness nor motor skills to talk of, but instead have to constantly solve differential equations to figure out how they need to move their feet every step of the way in order not to get all their limbs in a tangle

# ? Jan 16, 2023 00:16

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:49

deep dish peat moss

The Voice of Labor posted:

the signage in front of a roadside adventurers convenience store proclaiming hard tack, pemmican, spell ingredients and the lukewarmest ale in town

I think I posted a thread once that was about something like this except selling drugs that you smuggled into a fantasy world. Like you would call the meth Haste Crystals and stuff. Maybe it was just a post I made ITT but I like this idea, like a fantasy world gas station.

# ? Jan 16, 2023 00:27

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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