Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

more falafel please posted:

iirc in like episode 1 or 2 of sliders they find the right dimension but the kid freaks out cause the squeaky gate on his fence doesn't squeak so they jump and then dad says to mom "oh, btw I oiled the gate, it shouldn't squeak anymore"

haha

edit:

The payoff for this has to be that they end up settling for close enough on way worse terms.

Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 09:29 on Mar 25, 2024

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
One of those mall kiosks that lets you screenprint t-shirts and embroider hats but the only options are different different versions of the kiosk owner's face

Trying

Art jrs dad forbids him from patenting a novel device

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Parents setting their foot down about seemingly arbitrary rules

'You will NOT patent an invention until you're 18'

'No daughter of mine will take pre-calculus in the fall and not spring semester'

'Listen. As long as you live under my roof, you'll store your loose pennies in a plastic bag and not a bowl, young man'

Karate Bastard

Ugh having time traveler parents turbo sucks.

google THIS

Bright Bart posted:

Parents setting their foot down about seemingly arbitrary rules

'You will NOT patent an invention until you're 18'

'No daughter of mine will take pre-calculus in the fall and not spring semester'

'Listen. As long as you live under my roof, you'll store your loose pennies in a plastic bag and not a bowl, young man'

Hey! Young lady, you know very well you need to leave your door open at a 42 degree angle when you have a male friend over, and this looks like 44 degrees to me! Don't make me get out the protractor!

Is...is that the Cha Cha Slide I'm hearing in there?!

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Being absolutely flabbergasted at really basic and/or intuitive knowledge

The War of 1812 happened in 1812?! I figured that it was named after the number of generals or something. All the paintings make it seem like it happened much more recently. They have guns and everything! -math student at Yale

Mom, mom! Did you know that volcanos *erupt*? WTF. -35 year old stock broker

First you 'dribble' the basketball to the ground and it comes back up, then you throw it at the net, and then it falls to the ground and maybe bounces again. Yeah right buddy. And I have a bridge to sell you . -NHL hockey player

google THIS posted:

ffghji Is...is that the Cha Cha Slide I'm hearing in there?!

It better be! I don't pay for weekly Cha Cha Slide lessons so you can slack off reading comic books with some boy.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 23:00 on Mar 25, 2024

RavenousScoot

sorry babe, the sig stays on while hornyposting


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
The Voice of Labor

frank pervert's poon

The Voice of Labor

alien boomers

alien boomers get mad that their favorite restaurant is always busy so they convince a primitive species to build and staff the interstellar equivalent of a cheese cake factory

alien boomers terraform marbus 9 into a jreufian golf course and resort, killing 5 billion sentient creatures and wrecking a thriving global ecosystem in the process

alien boomers alter the fabric of space/time to make the now always fifty years ago then get mad when more people can afford housing

alien boomers invent a cure for the space pox and throw it away because since they had to live with space pox it's only fair that everyone should

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Alien boomers get fuming, send-death-threats-to-galactic-counsellors mad at proposals to allow multi-family planets in their solar system, because the planet they bought for 200 spacebucks with their part time job as a flying saucer washer while in space high school is now worth 7 million spacebucks and they won't have *those* people move in and drive down the value (even though they have no intention of ever moving).

Too far?

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Instead of bandanas, gulag tattoos, and pinky rings, gangbangers and mobsters signal their status and affiliation through spoons they carry in their hand at all times. And a spoon in the laces of their shoes just in case someone is looking down instead of up.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 12:35 on Mar 26, 2024

Karate Bastard

My spoon is wrought from whittled ash and rosewood, japanese joinery, glueless, bitch.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
A show like Pawn Stars or Storage Wars but it's just about people trading small things

'Samantha drives over to her sister's place to ask if she can borrow her blender for a party since Louise never uses it anyways. But Louise says no to the loan, and instead offers to swap the blender for one of Sam's crockpots. Sam has two of the same model after getting one as a gift that didn't come with a receipt. She only uses one, but will she agree to this trade... [tense music plays]

Now we head to the lunchroom at Brighton Elementary where Bobby proposes an interesting solution to a dilemma. Bobby wants Courtney's orange, but he only has a juicebox that Courtney has no interest in (it's grape flavour eww). Alex wants the juicebox but only has an extra yogurt that Bobby doesn't want, but Courtney does. Bobby proposes that they all just give each other the item that they want. Such a three-way swap has never taken place in the school before, and the two girls are suspicious of the boy. But hunger and thirst get the best of them and the transaction is completed without any issues.

...coming back to Samantha and Louise. Samantha does want the blender and does have two crockpots. But she's pretty sure that the crockpot cost at least $15 more than the blender. And plus if one breaks she couldn't make her famous chili that night unless she drives to the department store and it might be closed. This time, there is no deal.'

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Mar 26, 2024

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
Going to brown town. Paint the town brown.

RavenousScoot

Prurient Squid posted:

Going to brown town. Paint the town brown.


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
google THIS


Alien boomers have no sympathy for younger aliens who can't probe enough anuses to afford rent

Alien boomers refuse to acknowledge that the inferior planets have seen more urbanization and the advent of mobile devices, making it much more difficult to discreetly probe anuses than when the alien boomers first entered the anal probing workforce

google THIS

Alien boomers tell you that when they were your age they already had a job, owned a house, and had laid over 47,000 eggs in the chest cavities of hapless host organisms

google THIS

Alien boomers don't understand why you never telepathically communicate with them via the hive consciousness anymore

Finger Prince


Marriage is a sacred bond between a brood-mate and her thralls. Two thralls in thrall to each other? It ain't natural.

google THIS

Alien boomers are vaguely aware that they've lived for the swarm for so long they forgot how to live for themselves

google THIS

Alien boomer is secretly proud of you for eating all of your siblings while still the nest but doesn't know the right pheromones to express it

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Deep down, alien boomers know that they're just angry that the world is passing them by; already rehearsing the lectures they can give their kid when they fly over:

They're making more money? They're spoilt.
They're making less? A failure.
About the same? They're indolent.

Harold Fjord
Alien Boomer doesn't understand why the kid just doesn't go infect one of the thousands of still alive colonists like they did years ago when they wiped out the colony

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Alien boomers vote to cut child tax credits, financial aid for college, and old age pension for the elderly in order to finance a monthly payment each month to themselves

None of them can access the money because they all forgot their bank passwords

They blame 'hacker kids' and vow to oppress other age groups even harder

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Alien boomers being suckered into sending money to a Fr'Reki prince on Ustra 11.

Hours after ranting on SpaceBook how gulible you'd have to believe that the black hole is getting closer and it's not just a natural variation of gravity

Karate Bastard

No I can't, I have Yellowism.

WithoutTheFezOn
Oh no

Finger Prince posted:

Marriage is a sacred bond between a brood-mate and her thralls. Two thralls in thrall to each other? It ain't natural.
Its Bleeknort and GREEV, not Bleeknort and BLEVE.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
I kind of want to make one of those writing challenges and the prompt is that the first sentence has to be 'I told them to go gently caress themselves, and they did.'

You could get so much variety out of that.

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
Spreadshirts. Like spreadsheets but shirts.

RavenousScoot

the earthlings cancelled pluto!!


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
RavenousScoot

Bright Bart posted:

I kind of want to make one of those writing challenges and the prompt is that the first sentence has to be 'I told them to go gently caress themselves, and they did.'

You could get so much variety out of that.

https://youtu.be/lOkXP1DmDiY?si=tQOKxeBpZghlEXR7

edit: I guess I should say mild :nws:?

RavenousScoot fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Mar 26, 2024


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
Karate Bastard

"...and off they hosed." is one of my favorite ways to end a sentence.

google THIS

Prurient Squid posted:

Spreadshirts. Like spreadsheets but shirts.

Spread-fitted sheets

Eventually you just give up trying to format them correctly and unceremoniously shove them in a folder

Karate Bastard

I can't, I have the spreadshits.

The Voice of Labor

the alien boomer shore party, having found a microbe on the unexplored planet, put the strobe light attachment on their microscope and begin to transmit their message. the light brightens and dims and pulses. "TAKE US TO YOUR MANAGER" it says in br't'r'mj standard universal prokaryote

RavenousScoot

The Voice of Labor posted:

the alien boomer shore party, having found a microbe on the unexplored planet, put the strobe light attachment on their microscope and begin to transmit their message. the light brightens and dims and pulses. "TAKE US TO YOUR MANAGER" it says in br't'r'mj standard universal prokaryote


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
RavenousScoot

baby dr evil sucking his pinky


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
Trying

putting on a cartoon voice and rolling my eyes whenever I say UAP

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
turning into ultraman or other tokusetsu heroes to accomplish mundane tasks. ironing clothes with my elbow lazers, turning huge in order to make a phone call, etc

crimes

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply