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calhoun

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calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024

calhoun prince of crime
:confused:

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Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

A shot in a movie where a cool guy wears shades at the beach. It's a closeup of him and we see the reflection of palm trees and beach babes filling his glasses. He takes them off, only to reveal they were prescription eyeglasses. It wasn't a reflection. The palm trees and beach babes were on the other side of his head and we were looking through two gigantic holes in his head.

Finger Prince


I like my women like I like my coffee: always getting my name wrong.

-James Acaster

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
Adolf Hitler is cloned. The clone is put on trial but the case against him is dismissed because technically he hasn't commited any crimes. Somehow possesing the memories of the original he tries to rally the disaffected masses only to be outmanuevered by more skilled demagogues. He starts a podcast but the numbers dwindle. Modern Nazis lose interest after discovering his disgusting habits. He simply sinks into obscurity.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Drink-Mix Man posted:

A shot in a movie where a cool guy wears shades at the beach. It's a closeup of him and we see the reflection of palm trees and beach babes filling his glasses. He takes them off, only to reveal they were prescription eyeglasses. It wasn't a reflection. The palm trees and beach babes were on the other side of his head and we were looking through two gigantic holes in his head.

lol

Also funny if it's one of those commercials for beer with no talking but the sounds of the beach in the background.

Finger Prince posted:

I like my women like I like my coffee: always getting my name wrong.

-James Acaster

I really dislike this man's standup but love his improv work. (It's usually the other way around for me.) Every time it feels like he either clearly listened to the prompt but seriously misunderstood it, or else that he doesn't care because he has something else funny to say entirely unrelated to the promote.

Prurient Squid posted:

Adolf Hitler is cloned. The clone is put on trial but the case against him is dismissed because technically he hasn't commited any crimes. Somehow possesing the memories of the original he tries to rally the disaffected masses only to be outmanuevered by more skilled demagogues.

If he doesn't have the original's memories and it turns out he's just been a young child raised in Argentina to this point the first thing that would happen is he'd immediately be given a full-ride scholarship to go to the art school of his choosing on his 18th birthday, courtesy of the UN. Doesn't matter if he's incredibly confused and so far has only dabbled in making sketches.

Everyone takes it in shifts to praise his paintings his parents post online and telling young Adolf his work stinks is considered a capital punishment war crime.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 09:35 on Apr 10, 2024

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
Seeing a dragon's dick for the first time and it's way, way smaller than you assumed it would be.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
The reason pigs sometimes oink loudly for seemingly no reason is that they're embarassed to be naked but realize they can't make clothes and it's really stressing them out

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
When they see a fully dressed pig they let out a strange cooing noise of warm approval. Few have ever heard this noise. I'd link a clip but it's on YouTube's schedule of forbidden animal noises and I don't want to go back to prison.

calhoun

...

calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024

calhoun prince of crime
:confused:

calhoun

...

calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024

calhoun prince of crime
:confused:

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
"Jack, I was the one who killed your parents" said Bumblebee Man.

calhoun

...

calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024

calhoun prince of crime
:confused:

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Man wants to be the big man in town but jumps the shark and starts breaking small laws then arguing 'do you know who I am?' with police even though the answer is actually no.

But then in the spirit of faking it till you're making it people mistake the confidence for real power and soon you have folks being like

'So you want to expand to Florenville, eh? You better ask Big Jake. He's the man 'round these parts. Oh yeah, owns both parts of the duplex up younder, lives in one rents out the other as an AirBNB; his repair shop employs more than three people, and he has a stake in Bob's coffee roaster. Yup. Pretty much owns this town. Nothing happens without his say-so.'

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 11:59 on Apr 11, 2024

Trying

fermat was actually a really lovely laywer because he was thinking about math all the time

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Joe the Kid: Well look who it is. I'm surprised I'd see you here...

'Fast Draw' Wilkins: Yeah... this town ain't big enough for the both of us...

*montage of them digging new foundations for houses, laying asphalt and paving roads, and putting up street lighting in all directions, together, just so they can comfortably stay away from each other*

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
Fast draw wilkins pulls out a pencil from his holster, twidles it about a bit then super quickly drafts a schematic for the new builds.

RavenousScoot

office workers bragging around the water cooler how many spiders they ate in their sleep last night and one pulls up a paranormal activity type nightvision bedroom camera zoomed way in as proof


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
A reverse horse whisperer.

It's a horse who draws people with anxiety and depression into a healthy mindset by whispering into their ear.

Karate Bastard

[WHISPERING] *whinny, snort, fart*

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Super reverse horse whisperer: a horse screams in your ear to give you anxiety.

RavenousScoot

audio on
https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_sbt5s4fPKZ1t2n0p4.mp4


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
The Voice of Labor

editing batman 2 so that catwoman is replaced by sean young in her homemade catwoman outfit

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
A conspiracy to cover up the fact that dragons had tiny dicks.

edit:

It threatens the profits of the dragon dildo industry.

edit:

They made me sign an NDA before they let me into the "vault". Apparently there's some kind of terrible secret there. I'm not holding my breath.

Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 10:54 on Apr 12, 2024

Karate Bastard

Swim or sink. I prefer a third option, which I call "swink".

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Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
The police are called to stakeout a fashion show where a terrorist is planning an attack. But they misunderstand the asignment and become fashion police. Also they are like really effete and mincing for some reason.

e:

The terrorist is jilted ex catwalk model and is also unexpectedly swooshy.

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