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RavenousScoot

pizza you order by the throat and it comes in a tube bc they just roll the pie up into a cylindar you eat whole


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
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RavenousScoot

Guy who goes around claiming he's some sort of machine wizard. He just has a small piece of emt pipe as his "wand" he puts nuts and screws and filings into, so he can wave it and fling them at people as his "spells"


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
RavenousScoot

wolverine taking a dump but it keeps regenerating


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
Finger Prince


RavenousScoot posted:

wolverine taking a dump but it keeps regenerating

Wipes forever but it never gets raw.

Karate Bastard

If it weren't for my old hog and the good Lord
they'd have me strung up in the psych ward

Country/western songs that may or may not be about dick.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Years ago to increase sales condom companies started making colourful, stylized condoms and putting on small shows of them on models so that the press could take photos

Now it's evolved into full-on fashion weeks for penis clothing and accessories. They're taken down the runway and nobody pays attention to who they're attatched to because everyone is zooming in on the schlongs and their trendy outfits. Last year Ryan Gosling modelled and nobody cared or even noticed it was him because all the attention was on the tiny Birkin bag tied to his member

Trying

extremely pissed off at the misleading trailer until I realise Iíve bought synoma tickets

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
Pulling the cord and the curtain opens and there's a big eye!

The man in the audience's monocle pops out.
"Great scott, what a horror!"

Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 14:45 on May 3, 2024

Finger Prince


A matrix parody where the character the Merovingian is called the narrow-whingey man, and it's the same actor, and he just complains about everything.

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

One of those characters from movies or old sci-fi who's a librarian or whatever who expounds on how great ~BOOKS!~ are, and how these new fangled tablets and whatever just can't beat a heavy, musty, tangible tome made with real paper you can feel and smell. No sir, he'll go on on and on, when you really want to know about something BOOKS are where it's at, etc. etc..

Turns out he fucks the books.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
A guy is interviewing to be a librarian and, knowing how important it is to play it cool, tries to do so. Books? Yeah they're alright, I guess. Not as cute as Sadie Stillwell-- I mean not as chill as paintings are for sure. Most are pretty nerdy to be honest but I think associating with someone like me the '04 football team captain they have the potential to become popular.

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Turns out he fucks the books.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Oh for crying out loud take your drink. Just because we hate each other doesn't mean I'd poison you in front of the whole party.

'Wait, you hate me?'

[flustered blush] I mean hate is a strong term. But everyone knows we're enemies.

'Oh. I hadn't heard that. I actually think of you as a good friend.'

... I... I have to remake this cocktail there's too much vermouth in it.

Karate Bastard

Death by vermouth poisoning. It turns out someone put vermouth in their drink.

Karate Bastard

An alchemist gathering the land's premiere skateboarders and BMX men to finally produce the distilled essence of sick.

Karate Bastard

We shall answer the the question of eternal youth, is it possible to fight sick, with sick *backwards cap, radically concocting*

Finger Prince


Karate Bastard posted:

Death by vermouth poisoning. It turns out someone put vermouth in their drink.

Bartender, aside to camera: "we've been secretly increasing the amount of vermouth in this rear end in a top hat's dry martini. We've just made this one with 1/2 an ounce. Let's see if he notices... 'alright Jake? The usual?'"

Jake: "it's Jacob... if you please."

Jake takes a sip of his martini, suddenly clutching his throat as though he's been poisoned. He sputters, drink spraying from his mouth. His eyes bulge and his face turns red. He grips the bar and gasps "is.. is this... SHAKEN?? "

RavenousScoot

villain called The Mailman
he's a shapeshifter, but can only take the form of an observer's child


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
This is utterly inane but it came to me after seeing some peoples' drinks in the fridge and now you have to hear about it:

It's the Jay-Z & Eminem song 'renegade' except it's now called 'lemonade' and it has both artists fiercely shout-rapping about the refreshment as a metaphor for themselves and also the literal beverage.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 18:53 on May 4, 2024

baka of lathspell
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!

Bright Bart posted:

This is utterly inane but it came to me after seeing some peoples' drinks in the fridge and now you have to hear about it:

It's the Jay-Z & Eminem song 'renegade' except it's now called 'lemonade' and it has both artists fiercely shout-rapping about the refreshment as a metaphor for themselves and also the literal beverage.

didnt gucci mane already do this

e: it doesn't really matter. more songs about lemonade please. best drink


join dork order
sig by ??? (<3 u)

RavenousScoot

a genie who perverts your wishes
not like they backfire, they come true, but they're all really horny
like this is magic rule34

and yes, the lamp is limp, and when you rub it it emits :nws: instead of smoke while it grows and throbs before your Dirty Djinn sputters and oozes out


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

RavenousScoot posted:

a genie who perverts your wishes
not like they backfire, they come true, but they're all really horny
like this is magic rule34

and yes, the lamp is limp, and when you rub it it emits :nws: instead of smoke while it grows and throbs before your Dirty Djinn sputters and oozes out

Robin Williams cartoon genie riffing on your filthiest, most private sexual desires and curiosities brought to spectacular life through the magic of Disney animation.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Your hardcore fetish porn actor when they see vanilla porn for the first time at age 30:

Wait, he puts his what in her what?! Like where babies come from?! That's so gross. And don't give me that about procreation he's clearly wearing a rubber and plus it's 2024 you can get pregnant if you want without sticking that in there. *shudders*

Karate Bastard

A new McDonalds fries machine ASMR genre of music.

Karate Bastard

Joist Chasers, a crack team of framers and carpenters take on haunted and structurally unsound buildings, chasing down load bearing members installed and deviously hidden by a twisted mind without a plan nor appreciation of the value of human life, this week: Groverhaus :grovertoot:

Finger Prince


Bright Bart posted:

Your hardcore fetish porn actor when they see vanilla porn for the first time at age 30:

Wait, he puts his what in her what?! Like where babies come from?! That's so gross. And don't give me that about procreation he's clearly wearing a rubber and plus it's 2024 you can get pregnant if you want without sticking that in there. *shudders*

Is that it? He just finishes? Without groveling or begging for permission? There wasn't even any hot spaghetti. I don't know how anyone gets off to this stuff.

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
Going through your goth phase but what you mean by that is the technique of incorporating empty space into the structure as in gothic revival style and actually your body takes on the infinitely porous form of a menger sponge?

Karate Bastard

The Twilight Zone, the dreaded place-between-worlds that is extremely glittery and sucky.

Bright Bart

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
Me: It's 2022, nobody wears bangs now.

Friend: Yeah lol. But you wrote a typo. It's 2024. Time files, huh

Me: No I think I'm right. Let me show you right here on my phone it says that it's OH poo poo oh poo poo oh poo poo I have to call my wife, my broker, and my parole officer right loving now

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 19:12 on May 5, 2024

Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
A man suggests that medicine would make leaps and bounds if a small camera was inserted into the human body to allow the inner organs to be examined.
His suggestion is laughed to scorn.

In fact they laugh even harder than the guy who tried to make a musical instrument in which an elaborate set of keys activate a series of tiny hammers to strike pieces of string.

This all takes place in alternate reality where people are too smartass to try anything interesting and so they are stuck forever in a technological level far bellow their potential.

Karate Bastard

And Elon is living his best life as a career comedian just like he always wanted.

baka of lathspell
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!

Prurient Squid posted:

Going through your goth phase but what you mean by that is the technique of incorporating empty space into the structure as in gothic revival style and actually your body takes on the infinitely porous form of a menger sponge?

lol

Bright Bart posted:

Me: It's 2022, nobody wears bangs now.

Friend: Yeah lol. But you wrote a typo. It's 2024 now. Time files, huh

Me: No I think I'm right here let me show you right here on my phone it says that it's OH poo poo oh poo poo oh poo poo I have to call me wife, my broker, and my parole officer right loving now

i wear bangs like it's 2021


join dork order
sig by ??? (<3 u)

Karate Bastard

Bangin'

Finger Prince


Everyone curls their bangs towards their face or straightens them, how come nobody curls them outwards like the brim of a hat?

Karate Bastard

Plenty clowns do.

RavenousScoot

having to ripstart your stomach and leave it running during/after eating


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
The Voice of Labor
Probation
Can't post for 11 hours!
pleasantly surprised to find that your apartment in hell has a sega genesis plugged into the t.v.. until you see that the stack of games are all amiga ports

The Voice of Labor
Probation
Can't post for 11 hours!

Prurient Squid posted:

Going through your goth phase but what you mean by that is the technique of incorporating empty space into the structure as in gothic revival style and actually your body takes on the infinitely porous form of a menger sponge?

mishearing and cutting off an ear to fit in with your peer group

The Voice of Labor
Probation
Can't post for 11 hours!
a mexican/greek fusion place that serves hecate

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

two supernatural warriors locked in an eternal gridlock. their bodies frozen, swords aimed at one another, radiating beams of force energy that keep one another statue-like atop a cathedral forevermore in stalemate until the end of time

but they still have to piss and poo poo, and their fingernails and toenails and hair still grow. some low wage worker has to routinely clean them up, change their pants, groom and sponge bathe them, feed them with a tube...

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Prurient Squid

Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
Captain Vanity. He drives around in a van with a picture of his face on it.

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