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my friend named Mario invented a drink at a bar i work at using ghost pepper tequila, there's a really good fire flower joke in there somewhere i swear
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Sep 18, 2024 06:54
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Bright Bart posted:I am not up on my King-verse lore, and I certainly don't want to piss off the creepy clown who may be an alien or an avatar of the devil or the son the the devil by calling it a liar. There is also my online friend, "Mars," (nickname) the Crimson King, who has been helping me develop my Mercury/divine trickster/Joker/Lucifer persona over the last three years (I think we have alien intervention in our convo!).  Sometimes, I think he tricked me into summoning him (Mars is the god of war and Crimson King is the big baddie in the King-verse, I think). But I am the divine trickster, and the Fool, more often than not, so, I can handle juuuuuust abooooout anything!  Oh, the hell I envision is like Krazy Klowns from Outer Space but with It powers. Like, humiliating torture. It's doable. Pennywise isn't that scary, but him as the universe's personal, eternal disregard for your being is (at least to me (evil laughter)). quote:Who knows? Not me ca-lhown fucked around with this message at 12:53 on Sep 18, 2024 |
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Sep 18, 2024 12:41
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blizzod_mizzark posted:my friend named Mario invented a drink at a bar i work at using ghost pepper tequila, there's a really good fire flower joke in there somewhere i swear I tried going to that bar but kept banging my head on the bricks.
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Sep 18, 2024 13:11
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Who would win in a fight, Mars or Apollo? What if Apollo had his twin sister with him. I feel that Mars would summon forth wave after wave of infantry and Apollo would just keep infinite full-healing him and his sister and they would shoot endless arrows and it would go on like this until the Nintendo breaks. e: I legit, no joke, hesitated in making this post because while I don't believe in Apollo as an actual living god I am sworn to him. It's kind of like poking fun at the beloved founder & CEO of your company even if he's dead and never existed in the first place. Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Sep 18, 2024 |
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Sep 18, 2024 16:35
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apollo could kick mars' rear end. am certain of this. have u seen this guy mars he jobs out on the reg. he exists to worf it up. oh no this threat is so dangerous it defeated the God of War. gimme a break imo
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Sep 18, 2024 17:14
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Constantine remake called Constant Teen. Almost shot-for-shot remake but Keannu Reeves acts like a boomer's idea of a teen, i.e. any kid from a goosebumps book. Just lots of eye-rolling, deep-sighing, and door-slamming Edit: I've never seen the movie so goons feel free to add some tags to this caspergers fucked around with this message at 19:32 on Sep 18, 2024 ---------------- |
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Sep 18, 2024 18:09
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I work with the police as a fire psychic. I can predict when and where the next fire is going to happen. Tomorrow it's gonna be at the factory where I also work
caspergers fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Sep 18, 2024 ---------------- |
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Sep 18, 2024 20:07
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baka of lathspell posted:apollo could kick mars' rear end. am certain of this. have u seen this guy mars he jobs out on the reg. he exists to worf it up. oh no this threat is so dangerous it defeated the God of War. gimme a break imo Apollo is the Greek and Roman god of like a thousand things. But not even just miscellaneous leftovers nobody else wanted. Other than the sea and the sun he pretty much gets all the cool stuff. He even gets sunlight. Healing (his kids split this up into medicine, cures, pharmaceuticals and more), long-ranged warfare, beauty, prophecy, bathing, protecting the innocent from evil, sunlight, poetry, and a thousand other things. I guess Zeus maybe could take him. But Apollo is sneaky, will take a punch and pretend to be down only to come back with vengeance like when he rocked Achille's poo poo for insulting his temple months or maybe years later when Achilles thought he got away with it. Poseidon could definitely take him alone in water. But he's basically that tag-team from Smash Brothers with his twin sister Artemis who is like the god of among other things hunting down her enemies so I would still place the bet on A & A in any zone other than a water level. Realtalk: That's enough about Greek and Roman deities from me because I'm not really making jokes let alone ones worthy of a thread. I really think this. I am a believer in Lutheranism in terms of what I actually believe religion wise. But as a doctor I am also literally sworn to Apollo and I'm pretty sure that means having his back in BYOB threads. Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Sep 18, 2024 |
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Sep 18, 2024 20:43
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Shiva could take Apollo in a straight up fight |
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Sep 18, 2024 21:15
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Loki would be like lol you got me, but would simultaneously secretly feed Apollo's shorts to Fenrir so Apollo has to trek all the way to Utgardaloke dressed up as a wench to have some new ones made, and when pressed about it Loki would do his who me hand gesture routine like who ate all the garlic bread and get away scot free |
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Sep 18, 2024 21:21
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Mohammed would wreck Apollo's poo poo at racquetball |
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Sep 18, 2024 21:24
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Karate Bastard posted:Shiva could take Apollo in a straight up fight Shiva the one with the prescision-guided nuclear missiles? I don't mean like magical equivalent with the power of a nuclear missile. I mean that which at least some Hindu scholars believe they basically were, if not in the same way and encased in the same metals, actually just really atomic weapons. If so yeah an instakill wouldn't let Apollo heal up and Shiva would win. Best Apollo could hope for would be to send pestilence and hope Shiva gets deathly ill after the fight is over. |
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Sep 18, 2024 21:58
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Pestilence will probably burn off in ballistic reentry. I mean otherwise we're in trouble. More trouble, I mean. |
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Sep 18, 2024 22:00
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the boogieman sneaks into your room at night to get down
Thank You Pot Smoke Phoenix :^)) code: |
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Sep 18, 2024 23:38
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ozymandias 2 empires come & go, y’know? |
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Sep 19, 2024 00:13
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RavenousScoot posted:the boogieman sneaks into your room at night to get down The creak of a distant door... Steps in the hall... Thump, thump, thump, thumpthump thump, thump thump... A distant ghostly voice carried on the wind... Do the hustle |
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Sep 19, 2024 02:24
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Trying posted:ozymandias 2 For a moment I thought you meant the super(anti)hero Although I'm not even sure it's a superpower in the typical sense, right? He's just the world's smartest man, possibly in human history. I think that was just a quirk of genetics, fetal development, epigenetics and environmental factors growing up. He didn't get bit by a spider or blasted with radiation or recieve the blessing of ghost monks or whatever. Neither his actual abilities or how he came into them are supernatural in nature. He just does a normal human thing really well and better than any irl human has likely done and even that's not a 100% given. He's basically another Batman. In that his 'powers' are a natural if exceptional extreme of normal human abilities i.e. cognition, fighting skills respectively, money, and the technology bought with money. Except Ozy made his own money (using his gifts to play the stock market and become a sleazy capitalist lol) e: Also while I realize that 'man' is often used to refer to a human of any sex or gender, it'd be a real lol if in universe they actually did mean he's just the world's smartest man and there's like fifty equally smart or even smarter women hanging around in NYC alone. Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 12:08 on Sep 23, 2024 |
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Sep 19, 2024 08:47
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I like to post in BYOB cuz no one can see my reg date haha just joking haha
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Sep 19, 2024 13:55
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waiter brings your food and immediately asks how it is when you say you didn't try it yet because they just put it down, they respond "I'll wait" and stand over you looking straight down at you and your plate Thank You Pot Smoke Phoenix :^)) code: |
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Sep 20, 2024 03:32
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this is god's country and he's mad and he's gonna take it back |
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Sep 20, 2024 06:25
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RavenousScoot posted:waiter brings your food and immediately asks how it is Man's just doing his job ---------------- |
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Sep 20, 2024 13:15
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caspergers posted:Man's just doing his job after an intense 2 minute standoff, he tries it for you Thank You Pot Smoke Phoenix :^)) code: |
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Sep 20, 2024 18:18
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cruis'n world remastered for the switch 2 comes with grindr integration |
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Sep 21, 2024 04:36
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Introducing grindd, for Democrats. |
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Sep 21, 2024 10:13
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Karate Bastard posted:Introducing grindd, for Democrats. I am imagining some app that brings a well-built man or woman to your home to say 'We actually live in a republic, not a democracy' over and over while standing over you lying on your bed nude would both be profitable if you marketed it well and somehow totally legal. |
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Sep 21, 2024 12:22
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For one it would be completely unrelated to sex |
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Sep 21, 2024 13:00
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Karate Bastard posted:For one it would be completely unrelated to sex Sex is a whole bunch of things not just p-in-v intercourse. I for one lost my virginity by listening to a city council meeting debate decreasing the speed limit in high density areas. |
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Sep 21, 2024 13:27
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Sounds like you were getting hosed op |
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Sep 21, 2024 15:20
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Here's a dilemma. Say if I got a DUI and had to ride a bike everywhere, I would just disguise myself as a cyclist. But then everyone would just think I was a cyclist.
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Sep 22, 2024 14:16
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soldier boy do that cranky dance
Thank You Pot Smoke Phoenix :^)) code: |
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Sep 23, 2024 04:51
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Pokemon normally just say their own name. But Ash gets to the psychic gym in Vermillion City and Kadabra starts reciting all of https://youtu.be/zcrLvkF19Nk?feature=shared In Jeezy's voice. It literally just plays the whole song while the trio look on stunned and Pika slowly backs tf away. RavenousScoot posted:soldier boy do that cranky dance eq |
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Sep 23, 2024 11:52
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Email and instant messaging was invented by stamp collectors in order to kill off letter-writing and hoard all the stamps
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Sep 23, 2024 12:52
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If you're able to come up with 3 or more funny posts about a thing and there's room for people to riff then you should post an thread
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Sep 23, 2024 13:34
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treasure bear posted:If you're able to come up with 3 or more funny posts about a thing and there's room for people to riff then you should post an thread eq but also we can riff in this thread |
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Sep 23, 2024 13:51
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Dude on airplane wit a buzzard in his lap and says "don't worry, it's carrion"
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Sep 23, 2024 15:52
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lifehack: carry a buzzard everywhere so you can pee down your legs whereever you feel like it without having to find a bathroom and just play it off as the buzzard doing it
Thank You Pot Smoke Phoenix :^)) code: |
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Sep 23, 2024 16:10
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I just piss myself whenever it rains, that's why I'm moving to Seattle
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Sep 23, 2024 16:18
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guy comes home with groceries including a 30 rack and he proceeds to crack all of them and pour them into pitchers to put away in the fridge
Thank You Pot Smoke Phoenix :^)) code: |
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Sep 23, 2024 18:30
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RavenousScoot posted:soldier boy do that cranky dance Lmao
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Sep 23, 2024 18:31
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Alonzo 'rear end Kicker' Steele goes to the corner shop and finally gets the opportunity to buy more bubblegum. He immediately stops kicking rear end. But he starts up again after the first pack is finished and proceeds to kick more rear end and chew less bubblegum as the supply of the latter slowly goes down. Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Sep 24, 2024 |
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Sep 23, 2024 18:39
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