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gettin' more head than Jackie O edit: literal page snipe aahahahah 
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Apr 25, 2025 15:29
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Girl put away the deo, i wanna OD on your BO |
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Apr 26, 2025 02:30
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I like your OD OUTER DIAMETER OOOOOOOOHHHHH I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 26, 2025 11:00
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The uke crosses the nightingale floor with swift care, placing each foot so no creak of a board betrays his approach. Unseen he retrieves the parchment from the sensei's belt, before silently crossing back, but wait! This is no graduation certificate, it is tp! Silently, the sensei drops into an ichimonji no kamae, poops without farting, swiftly and silently wiping with the parchment artfully retained. The uke is relegated to another year of studying the dark arts. Defeated, he silently leaves.
I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 26, 2025 11:14
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Went to get a sex doll and the whole thing blew up in my face
caspergers fucked around with this message at 15:25 on Apr 26, 2025 |
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Apr 26, 2025 15:23
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Bumfuck is in Tennessee, and Hooch Hatch is in Alaska. Are there other canonical settlements? Where does Florida Man live?
I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 26, 2025 15:52
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Karate Bastard posted:Where does Florida Man live? Lol |
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Apr 26, 2025 16:30
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6006 do you see it, it was there this entire time I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 26, 2025 17:37
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Someone in the meme thread said their retail store was in semi-rural Kansas, and I read it out as samurai Kansas and went on a real head trip
I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 26, 2025 17:59
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James Hetfield finally taking a loving chill pill and doing a re-release of Master of Puppies in its original intended form.
I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 26, 2025 18:04
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Karate Bastard posted:James Hetfield finally taking a loving chill pill and doing a re-release of Master of Puppies in its original intended form. Bow to Pupper Messiah |
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Apr 27, 2025 00:56
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The puppies are pulling his strings, so many puppies, so many strings to untangle on these walkies.
I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 27, 2025 12:06
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James Hetfield going hard af out on his morning jog through the new day's mist with his poodle pup Isabella. His walkman is pumping and he has a baller stick, a fallen limb harvested from the land. Life is good.
I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 27, 2025 12:12
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yo momma's farts so nasty her bridge club calls her lady bhopal |
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Apr 27, 2025 23:18
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yo momma so old her child registered on the forums when forums registration was still free |
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Apr 27, 2025 23:19
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yo momma so fascist trump voted for her |
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Apr 27, 2025 23:20
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a tattoo on your ball sack that reads "warning: contents may be under pressure" |
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Apr 30, 2025 01:32
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Your mom's so fat she bowls uphill. |
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Apr 30, 2025 01:45
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Your momma's so fat i have to roll her up a hill for eternity |
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Apr 30, 2025 17:06
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yo momma looks so much like mario you ask them do you want ice cream they both say yes
I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 30, 2025 21:48
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Yo momma so overbearing, the Pentagon commissioned her to replace the AH-64 Apache. |
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Apr 30, 2025 22:06
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Like any good father, I have a series of running bits with my 6 year old. We were talking about cakes and cookies today on the way to school and I deployed my usual joke format of "Y'know... cookies are Nature's cakes." Out of nowhere she hits me with "No, dad. Cakes are just tall cookies." So anyway, now I have a new bit format. |
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Apr 30, 2025 22:52
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That Dang Dad posted:Out of nowhere she hits me with "No, dad. Cakes are just tall cookies." Woah I, though, am the joke understander. |
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Apr 30, 2025 23:07
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That Dang Dad posted:Like any good father, I have a series of running bits with my 6 year old. one time i was with my kids at disneyland when the new star wars stuff opened. you can build a custom droid or lightsaber there for 200 dollars. my boy was noticing all the cool droids and lightsabers people built and asked if we could do that. i explained to him that it costs money, specifically 200 daggum dollars, and that's too much. he took this and pondered it. minutes later he asks rhetorically, "why does everyone else have two hundred dollars and i have none hundred dollars?" none-hundred dollars has entered our vocabulary as slang for being broke |
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Apr 30, 2025 23:09
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canyoneer posted:
None-hundred is very sonically appealing. Good poo poo |
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May 1, 2025 15:56
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Pants made of dog food that make you go "HOOAH" called Alpo Chinos |
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May 1, 2025 16:32
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caspergers posted:Pants made of dog food that make you go "HOOAH" called Alpo Chinos lol |
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May 1, 2025 23:04
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You remember those chain emails? Like "forward this to five people or your mother will die"? I still sometimes get them but they're obviously fake, cuz I ignore them every time and my mom still hasn't died yet. |
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May 2, 2025 04:35
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I think the biggest difference between me and jeffrey dahmer is that i don't kill or eat people |
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May 2, 2025 06:01
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*ac/dc voice* GENDERSTUFF
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May 2, 2025 19:01
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yoda am I from the black lodge do I come know you who I am? the arm am I |
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May 3, 2025 00:37
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Been thinking about insane couples who murder, specifically Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka. Both extremely hosed up and clearly made for each other. Think of the odds of those two finding each other. And yet I still can't get a fuckin girlfriend |
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May 3, 2025 20:35
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I get laid so little that I spike my own drinks. If you can't remember it, you can't prove it didn't happen |
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May 4, 2025 02:23
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I've got balls of pee |
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May 4, 2025 02:45
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Jonestown but they ran out of kool-aid so they all have to pile up in a parking garage and leave their cars on |
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May 5, 2025 15:14
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Mom: "Your dad and I are getting a divorce." Dad: "And we want you to know that this isn't your fault." Kid: "..." Mom: "We just wouldn't want you to blame yourself." Kid, shrugging: "I know. I don't." Parents look at each other. Mom: "Oh good, good. That's good sweetie." Later in bed. Dad: "Well that went better than expected." Mom: "It did, didn't it." Dad: "..." Mom: "..." Dad: "It is kinda weird he doesn't blame himself." Mom: "Thank you! I didn't wanna say anything." Dad: "I mean I blamed myselfwhen my parents split." Mom: "What a strange kid." Parents spend the rest of sketch finding subtle ways to make the kid feel responsible for their divorce, and in doing so they form a strong new bond and old love starts to blossom again. They find that in the end all the needed was each other, and they give the kid up for adoption. caspergers fucked around with this message at 15:24 on May 5, 2025 |
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May 5, 2025 15:20
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feeling a disturbance in the force every time you accidentally squish a whoville while going about your day
Thanks Rip!! :^)) code: |
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May 6, 2025 03:24
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RavenousScoot posted:feeling a disturbance in the force every time you accidentally squish a whoville while going about your day Ten guys jump one, what a man |
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May 6, 2025 03:34
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...or ask old Goatse what he thinks. He knows all about them boys. He knows all about everything. There's an old man that called Mister Goatse! That's the old man that I'd like to be What does he care if the world has problems? While his rear end gapes and his ham swings free Old man Goatse That old man Goatse He must know something But spreads for nothing That old man Goatse! He just keeps rolling along. |
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May 6, 2025 21:33
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| # ? May 16, 2025 18:55 |
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Anti-brainrot glasses with plywood for lenses
I, though, am the joke understander. |
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May 8, 2025 21:07
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