| "Ok, who took a poo poo right here, in the middle of Disneyworld?" | |
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Apr 19, 2017 23:30
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cda posted:"Ok, who took a poo poo right here, in the middle of Disneyworld?" "Nobody's leaving until we find out who took a poo poo here, in the middle of Disneyworld." ---------------- |
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Apr 20, 2017 00:22
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Plebian Parasite posted:Cybershorts, so like you have to plug them in and the pockets are called matterpods and the holes you put your feet through are legjacks I'm listening.... ---------------- |
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Apr 20, 2017 02:51
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deep dish peat moss posted:Buying a house, getting it cheap because it's in the Friend Zone. Sexy Woman Realtor: So, what do you think? 4 bedrooms, 3 and a half baths, hardwood floors throughout, newly furnished... All for under 100K Me: What, is it some kind of murder house? Sexy Woman Realtor: *tossing hair back in a way that could be alluring or maybe her hair was just in her face* No, not at all. Me: I love you so much for finding me this house. Sexy Woman Realtor: *slight pause* Thanks. That's very nice of you to say. Me: ... And there's nothing wrong with it? Why's it so cheap? SWR: it's in the Friend Zone. Me: I KNEW it! Why didn't you just tell me? SWR: Look at how you're acting! That's why I didn't tell you. |
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Apr 20, 2017 17:43
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slowm posted:Eat his rear end sea bass ---------------- |
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Apr 20, 2017 19:27
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Apr 20, 2017 19:36
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Pomp posted:list of instruments i can play: shame-isen, guiltar, hurtsichord, blamepipes, doldrums, didgeridoubt, despairinet, low self-esteem whistle ---------------- |
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Apr 22, 2017 21:28
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opioid agonist posted:"Let the building eat you" Nice callback. |
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Apr 22, 2017 23:43
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using Nadsat from A Clockwork Orange and doggospeak at the same time like "viddy this pupper my droogs, it's a horrowshow corgo that's looking a little poogly after this floofy did it a frighten."
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Apr 24, 2017 01:47
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BRB pooping posted:Hello, welcome to the butt-restaurant, may i take your order? please wait to be seated ---------------- |
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Apr 27, 2017 17:44
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deep dish peat moss posted:Days in Norm Al's life after he decided to retire from being Weird. "Hey, Weird Al!" I hear someone call. I turn around, normally. "I've moved on," I say, without a trace of irony, "I play covers now." Just another ordinary day in the life of Norm Al. |
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Apr 28, 2017 22:25
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mister magpie posted:weed punk aesthetic was explored well in sleep's "dopesmoker" ya 
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May 2, 2017 17:08
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| Italian bread | |
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Dec 14, 2017 13:35
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i'm a little late on this one but it would be funnty if the three kings tried to give baby jesus bitcoin
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Jan 3, 2018 17:02
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Balthasar: Here's .3btc. Mary: Thanks but we're really in need of some Frankincense. Balthasar: You can get that with bitcoin. Mary: Not since Silk Road shut down. ---------------- |
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Jan 3, 2018 17:03
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:A sci fi and fantasy author who's really just hungry: Bick Spurlington ran towards the Teleporter. But first, he stopped at the replicator and made a ham. Then he ate the ham. It was salty and delicious. Red lights flashed all around him as a mechanical female voice intoned "Hull Breach Imminent. Hull Breach Imminent." There was no time to lose. He replicated Honey-Poached Pears with Hazelnut Butter and a Buttermilk Ice Cream. The exquisite mouthfeel of the warm pears melting into the chill ice cream reminded him of his childhood on the planet F'run G'farr. There were only seconds left before the starship's exterior lost its integrity. Wasting no time, he waddled in a satisfied manner towards the Teleporter and punched in the coordinates for the nearest McDonalds. ---------------- |
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Jan 3, 2018 17:28
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FactsAreUseless posted:A parrot that only repeats things you will say in the future It's just going to say Polly wanna cracker like it always did |
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Jan 4, 2018 22:54
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:"This is a cut throat place to work and you need to have your guard up every minute." ---------------- |
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Jan 5, 2018 17:44
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Sen. Grassley: Now, Judge Gormbubble...in your time in the 7th Circuit Court, you articulated a principle of jurisprudence you called the....uh... Gormbubble: The Gormbubble Rule, Senator. Sen. Grassley: Yes, the Gormbubble rule. Would you mind explaining that rule? Gormbubble: Certainly. The rule is as follows: When you Spench on your dench, you better gibidoo on the clicky-clack or nits'll gonna gitcha. Sen. Grassley: I have no further questions. ---------------- |
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Jan 5, 2018 17:47
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Splatmaster posted:TV sitcom, Frankenstein: Firefighter! lol ---------------- |
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Jan 11, 2018 17:26
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ghost emoji posted:overheard in the teachers lounge at Wayside School Has potential |
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Jan 13, 2018 17:29
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Farecoal posted:just don't ask him if cereal is a soup It is |
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Jan 13, 2018 17:30
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through my research i have rediscovered an old form of psychological torture: oil lamping.
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Jan 31, 2018 19:02
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Ahab: A white whale took me leg! Stubb: Are you sure it was white? Maybe it was kind of gray? Ahab: It was white, I tell ye! Stubb: The reason I'm asking is, a white whale's not very likely, is it. Ahab: I saw it with my own two eyes! Stubb: Yes, well, our senses can deceive us. I thought I saw a white whale once, turned out to be squid corpse. Maybe a squid corpse took your leg? Ahab: It was a whale! White a hill of snow and big as a church steeple. Stubb: Okay, okay. No need to get upset. It was a whale, which would mean it was grey. That's the usual color of whales. Ahab: It was white! Stubb: Sometimes when the sun hits the water it kind of lights things up. Makes them look white when they're really greyish. I reckon that's what happened to you. Ahab: A white whale! Stubb: You mean like a beluga? Or a narwhal? Those can be white. Not real big on the whole leg-eating thing though. Ahab: A sperm whale, he was, with a head like a broad Roman wall and a tail like a double-scythe at harvest-time! Stubb: Uh huh *does wiggly fingers at head thing to the crew* ---------------- |
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Jan 31, 2018 19:10
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InfoWario, where you replace alex jones withawario, or maybe replace wario with alex jones, or have audio of alex jones talking but then sometimes you put wario things in
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Mar 24, 2018 23:52
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Drinking champagne from a diamond encrusted monkey skull, "I'd give it all up if I could have just one more diamond skull." lol ---------------- |
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Apr 4, 2018 03:12
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albany academy posted:Eating delicious papaya with my hands at the dinner table whilst my dog is using a fork and knife and glaring at me with disapproval from his bowl on the floor. lol ---------------- |
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Apr 4, 2018 03:12
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i want there to be threads about both those things...but not yet...wait a bit first.
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Apr 4, 2018 03:13
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Me: Please don't kill me. I have a wife and a child! Mugger: I don't care. Me: You mean I wasted all of those years for NOTHING? ---------------- |
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Apr 7, 2018 00:57
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It's this big buff krav maga guy and he's selling a video about how to protect yourself from muggers, and his advice is get married and have kids, so when the guy tries to kill you, you can tell him you have a wife and children.
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Apr 7, 2018 00:58
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| Lil Pubey | |
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Apr 27, 2018 22:53
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| Pube Daddy | |
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Apr 27, 2018 22:53
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| Working on making my racism more complicated... More layered | |
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Apr 27, 2018 22:56
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Please. Nobody calls me Dora the Explorer anymore. Call me Isadora.
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May 19, 2018 23:36
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Haul MonitorHotSoapyBeard posted:Sieg Haul! Company Motto: Haul, Low Cost. ---------------- |
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May 20, 2018 00:00
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joke_explainer posted:Superman, but black. Lol |
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May 22, 2018 12:57
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Riker: Phaser! He's got a phaser! Fire! Fire! [Security forces open fire] Worf (dying): It was just a tricorder...jfc |
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May 22, 2018 13:05
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Lois Lane: So where are you from? Clark Kent: Smallville. Lois Lane: Yeah, no, I know. But I mean where are you from. |
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May 22, 2018 13:08
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:The DoD name generator is on the fritz, which is why we're launching Operation Twinkle Pony to fix it Lol |
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May 23, 2018 02:11
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| # ¿ May 15, 2025 00:52 |
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| Operation Whisper Into rear end commences at dawn. And may God help our souls if we fail. | |
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May 23, 2018 02:11
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