|
|
the word "seatbelts" is pretty close to "meatballs" I feel like there's a joke in there somewhere but the moment has never come |
#
¿
Jul 28, 2017 05:52
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Jan 21, 2026 09:33 |
|
|
|
"oh my god, what is that man doing to his anus?" but read with varying emphases like "these pretzels are making me thirsty" |
|
#
¿
Sep 27, 2017 03:34
|
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:where everybody knows your name but dares not speak it aloud holy mackerel |
|
#
¿
Oct 5, 2017 20:08
|
|
|
|
deep dish peat moss posted:People posting on a Tumblr-like website about perceived microaggressions that are actually very severe, during the reign of evil alien overlords. okay, history lesson, motherfuckers: humans DID have language before Supreme Overlord Gr'yrch, Bless His Undying Name, brought the planet under the divine wings of his glorious reign. we'll never know what it was, because they never invented b'ooks, but ask any human and they'll tell you they at least have grandparents who survived the cleansing century and have heard hushed whispers of it around the night fires in winters past the false notion that humans have no language of their own is a tool used to excuse the continued oppression of our species in jobs and education, and followers of my fanart account know I've faced that very discrimination personally when applying for booth space at fanime |
|
#
¿
Oct 7, 2017 02:10
|
|
|
|
look, I'm not one of those crazies that thinks Earth needs to be returned to human control, but |
|
#
¿
Oct 7, 2017 02:14
|
|
|
|
YOSPOS posts from the world of one hour police procedurals I overclocked my rig for up to three keyboard inputs- more bandwidth than I know what to do with somebody from accounting called in a complaint that her enhancement software is glitched. checked the name- same woman that poured soda on her keyboard last week. I already told her the mobo was totally fried and I had to tank the serifs. politely asked if she remembered to spike the parameters, twenty minutes later finally realized she doesn't know even know how 
|
|
#
¿
Oct 13, 2017 02:05
|
|
|
|
we named this beer Cool Cocksucker because it goes down smooth |
|
#
¿
Oct 17, 2017 19:08
|
|
|
|
little munchkin posted:pennywise the clown from IT only he assumes the form of whatever makes you the most horny friend: what the hell is that thing? it: *in extremely chris latta voice* I AM AIR COMMANDER STARSCREAM OF THE DECEPTICON BATTLEFLEET me: me: me: hahah... whaaaaat... |
|
#
¿
Nov 6, 2017 05:32
|
|
|
|
a man shot me in reno would not say why. I bet it was a really stupid reason |
|
#
¿
Nov 19, 2017 03:10
|
|
|
|
remember, the safeword is "wait please stop" |
|
#
¿
Nov 26, 2017 23:10
|
|
|
|
spawn-camping the maternity ward |
|
#
¿
Nov 29, 2017 19:40
|
|
|
|
goon project: lure danny glover in to an artsy independent drama about a real world issue that he cares about and gradually reveal that his character is a retired cop named murtaugh |
|
#
¿
Dec 5, 2017 22:11
|
|
|
|
In America, instead of Christmas, they celebrate a quartet of holidays each from a different part of their rich cultural make-up Beginning on December 23rd, they celebrate Sol Festivus, a secular tradition from the famous Seinfeld program, on December 24th they celebrate Christmas Eve, which is Middle-Eastern in origin December 25th is Untitled Solstice Project, from Laos, and finally on December 26th, Boxing Day, formally Armistice Day, brought over by Canadian railroad migrants please share if you think this is BEAUTIFUL |
|
#
¿
Dec 15, 2017 20:01
|
|
|
|
reading the garfield archives and getting really angry at jon arbuckle and swearing out loud to myself about it |
|
#
¿
Dec 19, 2017 10:45
|
|
|
|
Tommy Lee Jones' speech from No Country For Old Men about being older than his dead dad except I'm upset that I am older than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles |
|
#
¿
Dec 25, 2017 19:20
|
|
|
|
are you the shelves at walgreens? because I stalk you at night |
|
#
¿
Jan 7, 2018 23:05
|
|
|
|
Asia - Asia's Other Song That's Not Heat of the Moment (4:48) |
|
#
¿
Jan 12, 2018 21:25
|
|
|
|
80's music/continents Europe - Final Countdown Asia - Heat of the Moment Toto - Africa |
|
#
¿
Jan 12, 2018 21:26
|
|
|
|
Academy Award Nominee The Boss Baby |
|
#
¿
Mar 3, 2018 09:28
|
|
|
|
I cannot lie and I like big butts, falsehood is like a punch to my gut, and when a girl walks in with tenacity and penchant for mendacity I get sad and sometimes mad ‘cause I notice that I’ve been had |
|
#
¿
Mar 12, 2018 23:21
|
|
|
|
Q: What did Steven Spielberg? A: Cincinnati, Ohio  
|
|
#
¿
Mar 18, 2018 18:47
|
|
|
|
Splatmaster posted:A contractor tried to use a protractor as a murder weapon and nullified his own existence... Manifisto posted:and/or transformed into a john deere in a sudden puff of smoke lol |
|
#
¿
Mar 20, 2018 16:25
|
|
|
|
heavyset wizard called gandalf the wide |
|
#
¿
Mar 22, 2018 17:59
|
|
|
|
ready player one but the only character the author can think of is air bud so he just keeps using air bud |
|
#
¿
Mar 23, 2018 03:39
|
|
|
|
ready player one but it’s all forgettable children’s films from the mid-90’s and he keeps referring to them by name so you’re having trouble keeping track of if this is the “rookie of the year” or the “kid in king arthur’s court” just then, daniel stern pretending to be a scoutmaster and sinbad the secret service agent assigned to protect the president’s son flew in on the sea monster from “magic in the water”, held aloft by the duck airplane from “fly away home” e: also the polar bear from “alaska” was there e: and the leeches from “the amazing panda adventure” e: and the jonathan taylor thomas pinnochio, and the monkey from “monkey trouble” but NOT dunston from “dunston checks in”– too many people actually remember that one for some reason Cubone fucked around with this message at 04:19 on Mar 23, 2018 |
|
#
¿
Mar 23, 2018 03:48
|
|
|
|
1995 - Magic in the Water 1996 - Loch Ness 2005 - Mee-Shee: The Water Giant 2007 - The Water Horse 2015-2017? ZERO children’s movies about large friendly lake monsters. what gives, hollywood? |
|
#
¿
Mar 23, 2018 04:09
|
|
|
|
goatse guy dies -> hello.jpg is renamed goodbye.jpg 
|
|
#
¿
Mar 28, 2018 07:14
|
|
|
|
swatting but with Swamp Thing |
|
#
¿
Apr 7, 2018 09:34
|
|
|
|
the democrats the crats (retail version) |
|
#
¿
Apr 10, 2018 03:17
|
|
|
|
I was planning to rob the strip club but when I went I had to call it off because there was a policeman inside, and a fireman, and a cowboy |
|
#
¿
Apr 18, 2018 02:20
|
|
|
|
to keep up with the changing times, Lake Tahoe has been named Lake Begonethot |
|
#
¿
Apr 22, 2018 00:45
|
|
|
|
little munchkin posted:another funny idea would be a rapper who is always bragging about his/her pubes the scraggliest the rattiest the bushiest around when it comes to hair down there im foxy like brown |
|
#
¿
Apr 27, 2018 23:42
|
|
|
|
bdsm mistress to humiliation fetishist: "I like the way you work it (no dignity)" |
|
#
¿
May 4, 2018 02:07
|
|
|
|
Tony Hawk's Pro Dater |
|
#
¿
May 26, 2018 19:20
|
|
|
|
Miss Suzie had a steamboat, The steamboat had a bell, Miss Suzie's life was empty, A steamboat wouldn't |
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2018 00:57
|
|
|
|
Help me operator, The suicide hotline, If you do not connect me, I'll down pills with bottled |
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2018 00:58
|
|
|
|
Winding down the day, Old sitcoms on repeat, Tomorrow won't be better, This life has got me |
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2018 00:58
|
|
|
|
Beating off to telemarketers, How did it come to this? Passed out in the bathroom, In a pool of my own |
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2018 00:59
|
|
|
|
Pistol in my mouth, I'm doing it this time, Don't you try to stop me, It's better I just |
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2018 00:59
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Jan 21, 2026 09:33 |
|
|
|
Dicing up tomatoes, Spaghetti by the ton, Bag and freeze the leftovers, Another meal for |
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2018 01:00
|
|