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The exact center of the Universe is right here, we all revolve around this poo poo that someone took here, in the middle of Disneyworld.
New HBO series, John from Disneyworld, has been cancelled after one episode.
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Aug 30, 2017 17:28
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 25, 2024 20:11
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Life speedrun is a really good joke. You should be proud.
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Aug 30, 2017 19:20
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This but with every movie
Now we're cooking with gas.
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Oct 18, 2017 03:13
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The Lukewarm Coffee Server
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Oct 24, 2017 22:06
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- wearing a lampshade
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Opening up the hood to find out your engine is just a team of sled dogs. They lick your face and bowl you over for pets, but all you can think about is that bastard mechanic who's been lying to you this whole time.
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Dec 6, 2017 14:16
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Yeah. Make that thread.
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Dec 14, 2017 16:57
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That one episode of the original Ducktales cartoon, where Scrooge McDuck recounts how he once cleverly lured a herd of elephants to run over a bunch of coal, crushing it into diamonds. And then following that up with a boast about how he then slaughtered the elephants and sold their meat, hides, and tusks for extra profit.
I heard they only banned that because the flashing lights used during the diamond-making scene caused some children to become entrepreneurs.
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Jan 10, 2018 21:30
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- wearing a lampshade
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Instructor's Guide to Forklift Training
Constructive Feedback Test (check one)
Broccoli stuck in teeth. [ ]
Pant zipper malfunction. [✓]
Instructor's notes: Student was unwilling to acknowledge obvious pant malfunction, let alone provide feedback, despite being given an hour within which to do so. Instructor even used curriculum approved "Boy, sure is drafty down there" technique to confirm students awareness of the malfunction, but to no effect. Student was able to operate forklift well within acceptable guidelines despite these conditions. Not a team player.
Grade: D
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Jan 12, 2018 20:01
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- wearing a lampshade
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Speaking of THE WRITING PROCESS, Garfield creator Jim Davis talked about his "place of creative motivation" in a recent interview:
Lmao please tell me this is real
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Jan 17, 2018 01:06
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I totally believe he's a capable Unix programmer.
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Jan 17, 2018 02:03
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Honestly, he's a genius. I mean, "I hate Mondays"? It says it all. Everything.
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Jan 17, 2018 21:29
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Yeah but it was a weird crossover with the league of monsters or whatever and they turned him into Frankenbailey.
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Jan 18, 2018 21:25
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The only way I can understand the political climate of the states is likening it to a crock pot that's been on for too long and everybody just keeps saying "it's a crock pot, you can leave that on forever, nothing bad will happen" (real crockheads know that this is a myth)
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Jan 23, 2018 21:40
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Injecting organic steroids into my rear end with a needle made of hemp
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Jan 30, 2018 19:58
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Goth service dog tried to walk me into oncoming traffic again *laughtrack*. Looks like hes COLLIE out for help *laughtrack, opening for show begins playing*
Theme from Goth Service Dog: Good Boys Don't Cry
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Jan 31, 2018 18:56
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"there are four lamps!"
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Jan 31, 2018 19:04
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"I started listening to the Sisters of Mercy when I was 16. I heard the first album, and it blew me away. And those posters... Andrew Eldritch is so dreamy. I went out and asked the clerk if there were any other records I should get, and I bought everything he suggested. I started doing my eyeliner like Souixsie right away. I've never looked back."
- Kierkegaard, On Identity
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Feb 2, 2018 00:58
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"whats the deal with cornmeal? Sure, it's probably corn, but it doesn't look like corn, and it sure isn't a meal!!!!"
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Feb 9, 2018 15:10
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"hey can you get this blog up today? Sorry for the short notice."
*tugging my collar and sweating and making "errrahhhhhhheerrrrrrrrhhhhhhummmmmerrr" noises, consulting my spreadsheet p2p.xlsx and noticing I still have three hours today blocked off for posting but only 5 hours left till I go home*
"Sorry, have too much to do today. I'll get it up Monday."
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Feb 9, 2018 17:15
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Taking a poop so loud that the American in the next couple stalls over compulsively begins to write a national anthem
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Feb 21, 2018 14:25
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lol
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Mar 1, 2018 16:09
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Adam Sandler stars in Michael Bay's Assassin's Creed: Black Flag
Tagline: Come to the back of the boat!
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Mar 6, 2018 02:00
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me, shirtless, holding a palette and brush "good, you're awake. did you sleep well? I know i did  . What am I doing? Oh, I've just been painting us some breakfast." *spins around easle to show pancakes, bacon, fresh coffee, fried tomatoes, the works*
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Mar 11, 2018 15:57
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Spacey. Sturgess. Bosworth.
21 2: 21er.
Coming to theatres December 21st, 2021.
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Mar 19, 2018 23:30
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Schroedinger's Duckgoose
During the game of duck duck goose, every person is in a state of both duck and goose. The duck/goose purgatory will continue without end until the dictator decides each person's fate.
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Mar 21, 2018 15:23
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A giant, forty story Kramer opens a giant, forty story apartment door onto the face of the iron giant, who pratfalls and crushes hundred of pop culture references.
Megakramer: *gulping sounds*
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Mar 26, 2018 18:27
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Hot dogs are my favourite kind of sandwich
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Mar 27, 2018 01:19
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Drinking beer out of wine glasses
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Mar 31, 2018 18:00
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Eating delicious papaya with my hands at the dinner table whilst my dog is using a fork and knife and glaring at me with disapproval from his bowl on the floor.
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Apr 2, 2018 23:30
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Whisper-yelling "Witness meeee...." as I easily gain 60 points on the triple word score, ensuring that yet another friend will never again play Words With Friends with me
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Apr 26, 2018 01:05
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too low for chutes, too high for ladders
Clint Eastwood staring some punk rear end down, a slight grin cracks through his cool granite facade: "Looks like you landed on a chute. *gun hammer cocks* Better slide down it then."
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May 1, 2018 12:35
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Going over to Golddusts house to watch some movies
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May 10, 2018 01:15
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Did not kill my enemy, unsatisfied!
(For the record ShinyBirdTeeth was not my enemy and I do not wish ill upon them!)
Wanted poison! Got fish! Wtf!
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May 12, 2018 00:36
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i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
they decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely match the position
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May 15, 2018 13:55
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An apple a day (or any reasonable serving of fruits and vegetables) is good for your health, and if you're healthy you will likely see the doctor less.
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May 18, 2018 13:29
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Its a project I've been working on for... let's just say it's been too long. *polite chuckling*
But seriously, I'm happy you're all here for my opening. Its been a struggle, and I've had to make a lot of sacrifices along the way. Friends, family... love. But I believed in what I was doing, and today I can finally be finished with this.
The piece is entitled "Long Hard Road out of Hell in a Cell". It's contents: every single Undertaker match with his face digitally replaced by Glenn Danzig, and finally overdubbing his voice with Danzig telling people to turn their cameras off.
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Jun 29, 2018 13:48
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*getting flexed on by the 5th grader down the street with the mohawk bike helmet and wifebeater* uh, sorry, yeah I buy my lunch, but I don't really carry cash on me anymore, you know? Do you want me to just etransfer you?
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Jun 29, 2018 13:52
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SCANDAL! TUGGY THE TUGBOAT CAUGHT ON SHIFT AT MASSAGE PARLOUR
Boat Seen Getting Tugjob While on Clock for Tug Job
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Jul 27, 2018 01:45
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 25, 2024 20:11
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- wearing a lampshade
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Oh hey, cool bike. I have one too. Not cool like yours... let me guess - Harley? Ha ha yeah, I mean I do know my bikes but, I'll be honest - it says there right on the side. Mine says CCM, it means "cool cycle man".
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Jul 31, 2018 04:01
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Aug 30, 2017 17:28
