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erotic hot dog vendor you know, like an erotic baker, but instead it's a cart selling hot dogs *speaking loudly to somewhat flustered-looking customer peering at menu* don't know where to start, eh? well we got your Missionary, that's a classic frank in a bun, or should I say wiener haha. there's the Backdoor, the bun's upside down, very naughty . . . the Spicy Clam, that's just the bun toasted and spread with golden mustard . . . ah, excellent choice! *holds out bare hotdog, shaking it up and down very rapidly* here you go, one Ladies' Delight . . . |
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Apr 19, 2017 20:20
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unicorn frappuccino notice of this just landed in my inbox something something virgins, instant comedy! |
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Apr 19, 2017 22:16
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Plebian Parasite posted:my longterm goal to replace my normal obsolete hands with stickyhands we will need to know the origin story and costume of your superhero (or supervillain, I don't judge) but your kryptonite/fatal weakness is obvious: lint
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Apr 27, 2017 15:26
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Cory in the Blouse posted:How do Eskimos get refunds from uncle Sam? Inuit TurboTax |
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Apr 28, 2017 16:41
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mrs. 
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Apr 28, 2017 18:17
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slowm posted:What is your favorite item on the menu? the howevre d'oeuvres |
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Apr 30, 2017 18:35
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little munchkin posted:relaxing on a friday night after a long week of work, watching bad 80's action movies with a cold beer in the giant crab claw I have for a right arm finally trying to learn some domestic skills, eager to sew a button back onto my expensive coat, engaged in an epic struggle to thread the needle
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Jun 16, 2017 16:23
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lol needs glasses tho |
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Jun 16, 2017 16:24
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Starman Super DX posted:someone told me today that people actually will sell out parts of their body for a shitload of money for tattooed advertising space. What a world. artist wim delvoye did a tattoo piece where ownership of the art doesn't stop at the death of the tattoo wearer http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/news/wim-delvoye-tattoo-skin-back-tim-steiner-rik-reinking-art-a7560936.html delvoye is definitely an artist of ideas. often hosed up ideas, but ideas nonetheless. |
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Jun 21, 2017 04:41
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baba yoga you are journeying deep inside a dark wild forest. you come across a hut on chicken legs. the chicken legs are standing on a neoprene mat in a classic "tree" position you yell to the hut, "shoulders relaxed!"
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Jul 30, 2017 03:22
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alnilam posted:Natural Mail Enhancement: hemp stamps backed by glue spiked with echinacea tagline: "lick the flu . . . naturally" |
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Aug 4, 2017 19:23
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brb gotta speak with patent lawyer |
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Aug 4, 2017 19:23
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little munchkin posted:a gbs style "mock thread" where we talk a ton of poo poo about elephants and how bad they are peacock: I'll take an array of shimmering splendiferous colors please zebra: let's keep it interesting, maybe something with a stripe? frog: camouflage for me, it may not be original but it's p functional elephant: gimme the most boring shade of gray you got
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Aug 13, 2017 17:58
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"I nevar 4get" - big dumb elephant who forgets to not be hunted for precious ivory
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Aug 13, 2017 19:32
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Panic! Out of Crisco
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Aug 26, 2017 03:29
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Prime Members: Disney Frozen Olaf Shakespeare Youth Fishing Kit - $4.33 Free Shipping Amazon sometimes I am just mesmerised by the number of disparate concepts that are put together into a single post disney frozen shakespeare youth fishing amazon items for sale in the future have just a maximal number of random disparate keywords grouped together into a single product organic hentai snowboarding lesbian dante snapchat
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Aug 27, 2017 01:41
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people who get really excited about celery a garden full of heirloom varieties artisanal locally sourced biodynamic celery
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Sep 20, 2017 19:15
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sebmojo posted:this but with lard a reeses peanut butter cup type moment involving these two products https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7oD_oX-Gio
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Sep 20, 2017 22:00
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Putty posted:Toy Story 5 documents the lives of Buzz and Woody after they realize their batteries will eventually corrode. Their last moments will be choking on acid foam as their glass eyes fog over. a toy story like movie in which the toys are awful - totally unsympathetic, they all have the worst character traits of humanity in terms of being snarky, deceitful, exploitative, lazy, gluttonous, opportunistic, passive aggressive, what have you. in the end they are all destroyed or thrown in the trash and the audience is relieved and happy they are gone.
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Sep 21, 2017 03:06
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Manifisto posted:a toy story like movie in which the toys are awful - totally unsympathetic, they all have the worst character traits of humanity in terms of being snarky, deceitful, exploitative, lazy, gluttonous, opportunistic, passive aggressive, what have you. in the end they are all destroyed or thrown in the trash and the audience is relieved and happy they are gone. the taking tree |
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Sep 21, 2017 03:07
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:The Sun Also Rises, but with Barbie and Ken. yes I think it is important for children playing with dolls to consider the possibility that the male doll's dick doesn't work |
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Sep 21, 2017 03:28
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Hey I was just developing your theme no I thought it was funny, sorry that didn't come across |
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Sep 21, 2017 03:34
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But seriously though how do living toys reproduce? Their life cycle is horrifying.|
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okay tacolover489, I think it's time we met. shall we say next tuesday at the starbucks on 48th? I'll be sitting at the room's feng shui focal point and my clothes will match my root chakra. the coffee in my cup will be fair trade ethiopian, with a shot of hazelnut syrup haha! |
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Sep 21, 2017 14:45
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FactsAreUseless posted:This is just Sausage Party. well then they should be paying me royalties |
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Sep 22, 2017 02:20
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little munchkin posted:im the guy who glues the watermelons back together after a Gallagher show, ama lol there is a good thread concept in there about lesser-known sisyphus copycats or contemporaries or whatever sort of a life of brian type of thing like, what did you do to deserve that punishment? steal the gods' secret chili recipe?
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Sep 29, 2017 03:56
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cheers but the characters are all lovecraftian horrors *an unholy abomination shambles into the bar* [everybody]: CTHUUUULHU! [nyarlathotep the crawling chaos, polishing a glass]: what would ya say to a beer? [cthulhu]: what's a nice beer like you doing in a place like this? e: where everybody knows your name but dares not speak it aloud courtesy splat and jolo |
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Oct 5, 2017 16:53
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Being honest about things you don't need to be honest about 7. browser incognito mode is insulting to the other people who use this computer |
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Oct 17, 2017 01:42
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dune but the sandworms are sand chipmunks
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Oct 18, 2017 01:59
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AverySpecialfriend posted:Pigs aren't gross they're actually very smart and sweet I think sbt meant "gross" in the sense of "large," i.e. they are not tiny pets you could slip into your pocket and walk around with all day. pocket pigs would be something else altogether. |
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Oct 18, 2017 19:54
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Ride The Gravitron posted:Looking for a friend with benefits. We could trade video games, help each other make fashion choices, maybe some health Care options me: single, professional degree, enjoying life in large east coast city you: good with sudoku hints, tall enough to boost me over walls, dispense candy on demand e: wrong blood type is a deal breaker |
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Oct 20, 2017 21:08
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I'd heard about "tactical pens" before http://gearmoose.com/the-10-best-tactical-pens/ quote:While fending off an attacker with a tactical pen is neither preferred nor realistic in most situations, should you drop your firearm or run out of bullets, they can and will pull double duty as a self defense weapon in a pinch if you’re both trained in doing so and carrying it on your person when the time comes to need it. but just today I came across the concept of a "tactical scarf" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01L1593L4 I am imagining a survivalist, or maybe a savvy marketer, going through life looking for things that can be "tactical" tactical underwear tactical ramen tactical monograms
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Oct 21, 2017 20:49
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tactical cilantrovanisher posted:Ready to get serious about self protection? Is your lifted truck and bodybuilding routine not masculine enough for your lifestyle? From the makers of the Tactical Scarf comes Tascticles. These exquisitely crafted steel testicles are made from only the finest Tamahagane steel made in the traditional Japanese style, and their fibre mesh covering is both supple and strong to allow you to wield them similar to Nunchaku. The waist strap comes with an overhang or underhang arrangement for either a more concealed look, or an intimidating bulge visible through a variety of pant styles and fabrics. Don these beauties today, sold at most neighborhood gun shops and Walmart shopping centers. lol |
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Oct 21, 2017 23:06
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:A tour of forbidden meats next stop: the spanish chorizo I had to leave with customs upon entering the u.s. |
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Oct 23, 2017 21:23
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got any sevens posted:*black and white screen of nuclear family looking bored* as much as I love jokes I can't help thinking of pao-mo soup, a dish from the xi'an region of china (where the terracotta warriors are) it features broken up bits of bread in soup. the bread somehow becomes like dumplings or pasta. it's freakin' amazing. I had it in china and loved it, and wasn't sure when I'd be able to have it again . . . I feel incredibly lucky that xi'an famous foods has become such an unexpected success in nyc
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Oct 25, 2017 05:27
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little munchkin posted:a thread where I "introduce" the concept of "double"-irony in which you say that "good" things are "good" or that "bad" things are "bad" ftfy |
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Oct 27, 2017 04:27
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little munchkin posted:a "thread" where "I" introduce the concept of "double-"irony"" in which "you" say that good things "are" good or that bad "things" are ""bad"" no wait |
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Oct 27, 2017 04:28
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little munchkin posted:"a thread where I introduce the concept of double-irony in which you say that good things are good or that bad things are bad" now we're getting somewhere |
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Oct 27, 2017 04:29
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Manifisto posted:i don't think you get what double-irony is about dude |
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Oct 27, 2017 04:34
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Twenty Four posted:*coach* "Sit down Susan. No, you did not have enough fun. Stay on the bench!" coach: jared, what is wrong with you? you are yelling insults at the other team, you're shoving and elbowing them when nobody's looking, I've even seen you cheat on a couple of occasions. jared: I want the other team to get all the sportsmanship points, so they can win. referee: that's a thousand points to jared. congratulations, son.
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Oct 27, 2017 18:35
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Ride The Gravitron posted:adult trick or treating. You go door to door and they give you drugs and booze adult trick or treating: they withhold a portion of your candy bar or whatever for payroll taxes |
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Oct 31, 2017 23:12
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