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High Programmers of Alpha Complex. Without your benevolent watch over the Complex, our friend the Computer would be endlessly beset by the Communist Mutant Traitors that infect our perfect society. If not for your guiding mailed fist of power, the ERROR NO_HATE_TRAITORGROUP_SELECTED) would surely doom our friend, the Computer. When it comes to Crisis Room duty, YOU will make decisions that will preserve Alpha Complex! YOU will make everything perfect! Only you, friend High Programmer, can make our Alpha Complex more productive, more perfect and more happy! Those of you involuntarily selected for Crisis Room duty are admired by all for their loyalty and earnestness in defending Alpha Complex! All hail the High Programmers! All hail Friend Compxu3054dkfadps;ah&@$)$U@$422342 3CONNECTION LOST) (INTERCEPT ERROR_X6724424)[ You poor sons of bitches got sent to Crisis Room duty huh? That's like playing Russian Roulette where you don't even know if the gun is loaded or if it was created by (shudder) R&D. But just a bit of advice. You know how the best way for Troubleshooters to survive was to be the only one left alive after the mission, so they could tell the story? Well, the Crisis Room is kinda like that, except you can't shoot each other. Instead, you poor suckers have to work together to "solve" the crisis, or at least make the Computer think the crisis is solved, all the while trying to steal all the glory and stick someone with the blame when things go wrong. Things will go wrong, you do know that, right? Remember when you were trying desperately to figure out what you needed to do, but that information wasn't available at your clearance level? Well, guess what.. you are now the big cheese, and YOU get to tell someone about to walk straight into a nest of Commie Mutant Traitors that the details of their mission is above their Security Clearance. But I'll tell you what.. if you can survive trips to the Crisis Room and come out ahead, you'll raise yourself even higher in the Computer's favor. All High Programmers are equal of course, but there's some High Programmers that are more equal then others, if you know what I'm saying? I made enough scratch from three tours in the Crisis Room to build a Complex within a Complex, and my Computer loves me more than then anyone else. So, if you want to get ahead and get out while the getting is good, you'll need allies you can screw over and they won't even see it coming. Of course, if all of you read this, then you know what's coming right? I'm going to watch. This is going to be fun. --Kormel-U-??? (ERROR SECTOR CODE NOT RECOGNIZED HAILKORMEL) ] Ok, so we're doing the game Paranoia High Programmers. Familiarity with the game is useful, but even if you haven't played before, as long as you're willing to learn (the game is out of print, but nothing is really out of print, in the days of  )Basically, your job, should you accept it (not accepting jobs is Treason , High Programmer!). The Computer will assign it's High Programmers to Crisis Room Duty when it detects..well. there's a crisis. It may be "Oops, we just promoted 10,000 INFRAREDS TO GREEEN, BUT HAVE NO JOB FOR THEM" to "Um, the folks in Power Services are reporting an "Unexpected Fissile Surplus event" (otherwise known as a reactor going into a meltdown), to "ACK! COMMIEMUTANTTRAITOR ZOMBIE ATTACK!" Through All the while, you're trying to gather assets, deny your fellow High Programmers assets that they may use for traitorous purposes, and desperately clinging to what little shreds of morals and sanity you have left. In Paranoia, happiness is a warm Traitor Body cooling from being zapped with a laser. For High Programmers: Happiness is showing all your "fellow" High Programmers who the REAL boss is. And besides, you have servants to shoot traitors with lasers. And people to classify those traitors as traitors. Or to (INFORMATION NOT AVAILABLE AT ANY CLEARANCE) If you want to read a bit about the Paranoia High Programmers world, here's a watermarked copy of the first few pages: http://watermark.rapidejdr.fr/pdf_previews/80493-sample.pdf SirFozzie fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Apr 20, 2017 |
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Apr 20, 2017 04:09
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High Programmer Phil-U-POT reporting for duty, Friend Computer.
Epicurius fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Apr 20, 2017 |
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Apr 20, 2017 20:02
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Your spirit and willingness to report for such a hazardous duty is commendable, High Programmer. (Do you wish to create your own character, or get a premade? I'm a wise and benevolent Friend Computer.. at least till the game starts *evil grins*)
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Apr 20, 2017 21:38
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Thank you, Friend Computer. Because I, as a good citizen, trust you in all things to work for the good of both myself and Alpha Complex, I would be happy to accept a premade character.
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Apr 21, 2017 05:41
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Your trust is well placed, High Programmer. Look for a Paranoia Message to come in the next day with your genetic template and details. edit: Here's some thoughts about how the authors suggest High Programmers act: Guilt is a dangerous thing in Alpha Complex. It implies culpability. If you feel guilty about, say, the plight of the poor starving drug-addled INFRAREDs down in the prole levels, then The Computer’s automated Guilt Scanners will pick up on your emotions, and you’ll find yourself having a nice little chat with Internal Security about your sabotage of The Computer’s perfect society. After all, if you feel guilt about the plight of the INFRAREDs, then you must be responsible for the plight of the INFRAREDs, and therefore any problems with the INFRAREDs are your fault. (The Computer feels no guilt. Therefore, The Computer is not responsible for anything.) R&D has discovered that guilt is a waste by-product of the endocrine system, and can be treated through pharmatherapy. The standard treatment regime is a bottle of Old Reckoning scotch and a double handful of tricyclobenzogergine, although some High Programmers prefer surgery. It’s a relatively simple procedure to rewire certain glands and implant a few neurotransmitter blockers to absorb pesky oxytocin, then you just install a standard memory shunt and Bob-U’s your clone uncle. You’ll be marching innocents to theirdeaths with a merry grin in no time. Those unable to cope with guilt don’t last long as High Programmers. Guilt is culpability. Culpability is responsibility. Responsibility is treason. Treason is treason. Really, by cauterising your nervous system so you’re incapable of human emotions, you’re just doing the right thing. We mention this as a friendly warning. Denials are so much more effective when guilt is removed as a factor. Cultivate detachment. Reality is what you can get away with – and if that doesn’t work, scotch and the white pills, double-quick.(As proof of the effectiveness of Alpha Complex guilt-reduction therapy, we offer up the above paragraphs.) SirFozzie fucked around with this message at 07:43 on Apr 21, 2017 |
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Apr 21, 2017 07:36
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If you don't have or know the rules, let me know, and I'll arrange for a copy to magically come to you 
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Apr 21, 2017 08:33
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Hmph. Lack of enthusiasm is treason, High Programmers 
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Apr 22, 2017 16:16
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I remain at the optimum level of happiness as I gladly volunteer for this task, Friend Computer. I trust utterly in your wisdom. Eleagle-U-Ser
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Apr 23, 2017 01:15
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Welcome Eleagle-U-Ser! Do you wish your friend the Computer to assign you a genetic template, or would you like one of your own?
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Apr 23, 2017 02:56
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It is only right and fitting that Friend Computer is trusted in all things, including genetics.
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Apr 23, 2017 13:18
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High Programmer Jan-U-ARY checking in to happily and enthusiastically volunteer for the task, friend Computer! Please give me any genetic profile that you see fit.
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Apr 24, 2017 03:36
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Thank you High Programmer! Once we get a fourth, we will start moving towards starting the game: Just in case you don't know, we will be bidding for control of the service groups, one at a time. Each bid has to be at least one higher then the last (although you can bid multiple times). However, your final bid, win or lose is deducted from your Access Pool. (the reason is that while you may not be the "Head of Service Group", you still have a stake in it. The person who controls the Service Group gets to decide how its minions are used (and sets the price for them), and also gets first look at the Service Group goal. They can either accept it, or pass it down the line. The mission may conflict with other service groups, or even your secret society contacts, so you MAY not want to accept it (the last person has to accept it, mind you). Succeed, and your stake in the Service Group goes up. Fail, and it goes down. Secret Society missions are kinda the same way, but the person with the highest rank agent in the Secret Society can countermand any efforts to use that Secret Society. (you are not required to accept a secret society mission, but if you do, you do gain in rank if succeeded, and go down if failed) Two other things: 1) Each service group provides a sinecure of extra access, above and beyond what Friend Computer has provided to solve the crisis at hand. It depends on the Service Group: (Here's how Access works in the game) The basic currency of the HIGH PROGRAMMER game is Access. You’ll need to either record your Access on your character sheet, or use some sort of tokens to represent it. Poker chips are good, or Monopoly money. Or, hell, real cash. In the game, Access represents a whole load of different things. Simultaneously, in a weird quantumly-uncertain-concept way, Access is: Cash and capital. Each point of Access is worth a million credits. The Computer’s support and enthusiasm for a project. Projects are assigned Access in units called Alpha Complex Consolidated Estimated Systemic Support, or ACCESS for short. What a co-incidence. Each ACCESS point represents the authorisation to draw on the resources of the various Service Groups in the pursuit of an approved goal. Pull within an organisation; the authority to order people around and especially the authority to force them to go beyond their regular duties. Favours owed and granted to various people and organisations. The conspiratorial network you’ve built up over the years – as a High Programmer, you’ve got agents and spies everywhere. Your preparations and secret subversions. Maybe you planted a bugging device somewhere years ago but only now do you reveal it! Retroactive Access lets you be a manipulative genius after the fact So, Access is infl uence, it is political mojo, it is pull, it is raw naked power. Gaining Access How do you gain Access? There are three main ways – you can be assigned Access, you can earn it and there’s the Access pool. You may also trade Access with other High Programmers freely at any time. Assigned Access At the start of each game session, and at the whim of the GM, you will be given a few Access points, representing your innate importance as a High Programmer and your network of connections. If you are the head of a Service Group, you get more Access when you enter the Situation Room for the first time in a mission. The amount of Access you are assigned varies depending on your Service Group. Armed Forces: 4 CPU: 5 HPD&MC: 3 PLC: 8 Tech Services: 4 Power Services: 3 R&D: 3 IntSec: 5 Earning Access Some Directives will earn you Access if you complete them; some minions are actually Access generators, providing extra revenue to their controller. You may also earn Access by entertaining the GM. Excellent roleplaying, beautifully hypocritical justifications, intricate wordplay or extended gloating will be rewarded with showers of Access. The Access Pool When you enter the Situation Room, The Computer assigns a pool of Access points to the group. These Access points are supposed to be spent on dealing with the crises facing Alpha Complex. The whole group of Player Characters must agree on how these points are assigned. Note that once points from the pool have been assigned to a High Programmer, that character is under no obligation to spend the points on solving the crisis. Of course, just blatantly stealing points means you’ll never be trusted again by your fellow High Programmers – you need to conceal any such thefts. The decision on how Access Pool points are assigned is taken collectively. A majority of the PCs must agree on any spending – if the group is deadlocked, the head of Central Processing has a casting vote. The Access Pool: A Typical Conversation [b]The Computer: Timmy-JC is stuck down a well. Recover him immediately. Your Access Budget is 10. CPU: Suggestions? Little Timmy can’t survive down there for long… PLC: Actually, for only four Access, I can procure enough food to keep Timmy alive indef nitely. CPU: Feh! He’ll still age and eventually die of old age… but my boys have been working on an experimental time freeze ray. We could field test it on the boy! Technical Services: That doesn’t actually get him out of the well. CPU: Quite right, TS. What do you propose? Something practical, no doubt, like a ladder. Technical Services: Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of a massive construction project to lower all of Alpha Complex by 20 feet, thus allowing Timmy to step out of the well into a corridor. That’ll cost a lot more than 10 Access, though… can we lobby the Big C for more money? Power Services: That’s just the sort of wasteful inefficiency that your department is known for! Look, I have an elite team of Tube Recovery Specialists standing by! For a mere five Access, I can send them in to rescue him. Internal Security: Have they passed a loyalty inspection? They could be terrorists, out to poison our well. Armed Forces: Look, I’ve still got that artillery strike lying around. It’s already paid for. We nuke the well, Timmy gets a new clone and we spend the 10 Access on lunch. Sound good? Uses of Access ‘Since God has given us the Papacy, let us enjoy it" --Pope Leo X Access can be used to: Buy new minions Activate existing minions Steal other people’s minions Stop other people stealing your minions Increase your stake in a Service Group Have private communications Adjust Skill rolls Bribe people Obtain Sybaritic luxuries Most of these uses of Access are discussed in Minions, page 20. Adjust Skill Rolls A point of Access adds or subtracts one to any skill roll made by you or another player. You can spend as much Access as the GM permits. When you spend Access in this fashion, you must describe how your machinations, your cunning plans, your secret preparations or your duplicitous agents have interfered with the skill roll. (You can blame misfortune, third parties, unfortunate misunderstandings or badly placed minefields if you want but it’s always your invisible hand at work.) For example, High Programmer Steve-U has just ordered his Hazardous Materials Cleanup Team into an R&D laboratory to deal with the weird energy that’s leaking out into the corridors. Gertrude-U’s secret death ray project is in that lab and she doesn’t want those Tech Services morons monkeying around with it. Steve-U makes a Hygiene roll using the HazMat team. He rolls a 10, well under his Management skill of 12. Time to spend Access. Gertrude-U: You did remember to warn your team about the lab’s automated security systems, didn’t you? You passed by 2, right? Here’s 3 Access. Steve-U: Why are you sabotaging me? Treachery! Gertrude-U: I’m protecting something more important. Steve-U: Oh yeah? It just so happens that one of my best security experts is on, er, hygiene duty. I’ll spend one Access. Gertrude-U: Your security guy actually works for me! You think I’d let you waltz into my secret laboratory! I’ll reduce your skill by another 4 Access. Steve-U: Fine. I fail the skill check. What happens to my HazMat team? Bribes You may trade Access with other High Programmers freely, in exchange for favours. Want the last slice of pizza? Maybe the others will let you have it for a few points of Access. Secondly: Each High Programmer MUST be in charge of at least one Service Group. If someone is not a high bidder in any service group, then one of the people with multiple Service groups MUST delegate him as the Head of a Service Group. (you can decide/argue amongst yourselves who will make the sacrifice, but if you take too long, Friend Computer will start assigning treason points for your lack of teamwork.
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Apr 24, 2017 04:28
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How Minions Work: Purchasing a Minion works like this: 1. The Buyer Picks The Minion He Wants 2. The Head of that Service Group Says How Much That Minion Costs 3. He gives Access to the Head of that Minion’s Service Group 4. The Head Gives The Access To The Computer It’s at Steps 2 and 4 where things get interesting. A cost is listed for each Minion on the portfolio sheet but there’s no reason why the Head of the group needs to use that cost. He can choose to charge a higher or lower price at step 2. In step 4, the Head of the Group is obliged to transfer Access to The Computer to activate the Minion. The Head doesn’t have to transfer the full amount – but if he pays less than the Minion’s official cost, the unfortunate Minion will be underfunded. This is treasonous, as the Minion will be less effective or even totally useless. Underfunded Minions Tech Services Technician: Sir, I don’t think much of these new ShovelBots. They just lie there and don’t respond to voice commands. Tech Services Supervisor: That sounds like unhappiness, citizen. Tech Services Technician: Sir, I mean that I would appreciate instructions as to how to most efficiently operate this new wonderful bot. Tech Services Supervisor: Well, you just grab the handle here and dig with the flat end. Tech Services Technician: So, you activate the ShovelBot in exactly the same way you use a shovel? Tech Services Supervisor: Precisely. Tech Services Technician: So what’s the difference between them? Tech Services Supervisor: About 40,000 credits each. An unscrupulous Head of a Service Group could choose to… redirect some of the Access paid to activate a Minion. Instead of 10 Access being used to activate a new warbot, only five Access is spent on the actual warbot and the rest goes right into the pocket of the High Programmer. This is treasonous behaviour if detected. The poor underfunded Minion is still activated but with vastly reduced capabilities. A unit of Armed Forces goons might be sent out without any ammunition for their guns. Those CPU clerks you ordered might have only one pen between them, or be so overworked they fall asleep on the job. The elite janitorial commandoes you called up turn out to be one rusty scrubbot with a broken mob.And that warbot? Due to budget cutbacks, they had to activate it without any Asimov circuits. Is that a problem? Buying Minions: A Typical Conversation Head of Central Processing: (Soliloquy) I suspect there’s a nest of Commie Mutant Traitors in R&D. Uncovering these traitors will embarrass my hated rival, the Head of R&D. I shall need a Minion with Investigation. Hmm – this IntSec Office of Undercover Operations seems ideal. Ho there, Head of Internal Security. I wish to purchase the use of this Undercover Ops team. Head of Internal Security: Certainly. A mere 10 Access. Head of Central Processing: 10 Access!? That seems extortionate. Head of Internal Security: Perhaps if you were to tell me what you need them for, we could come to some alternate arrangement. Head of Central Processing: Oh, a trifling matter, hardly worthy of your notice. Head of Internal Security: Anything involving Undercover Operations is important. If you have evidence of treason, High Programmer, you must report it. Head of Central Processing: Not evidence, just the merest hint of a suspicion. Head of Internal Security: Can we afford to overlook the merest hint of a suspicion? Head of Central Processing: Can we, by which I mean I, afford 10 Access? No. SirFozzie fucked around with this message at 04:59 on Apr 24, 2017 |
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Apr 24, 2017 04:36
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High Programmer Disc-U-SIN here and happy to deal with any Crises that Friend Computer assigns to us. (Premade, please.)
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Apr 24, 2017 19:18
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Greetings and congratulations High Programmer! We will now commence the bidding process. Each of your characters has a "Starting Access Pool" that you can bid for control of Service Groups. You do not have to spend all your access points on bidding, in fact, I would say that it could be useful to keep some back just in case your fellow High Programmers try to charge you a King's Ransom. Remember, the good thing about the Secret Society contacts you use is that they don't cost Access (Although if you are found using them, your agent could be terminated and you may earn Treason Points depending on how bad the Secret Society is. Each society has three skills: One Covert, One Subversive, and one weird: Generally, the Subversive and Weird skills will be noticed if you roll UNDER the tension of the area where the minion is trying to work (a number you are not cleared to know, High Programmers, but varies depending on how much Computer Surveillance is available in the area . Covert are more covert skills, Generally, you will only be noticed on a roll of 1. If noticed, and brought to the Computer's attention, you will receive a number of Treason Points based off their threat category (A= 4 Points, B=6 Points, C=10 Points, COMMIES=20 Points). You can halve the treason points by repudiating your rogue agent. They get dragged off to the Termination Booth, you lose that agent, and next crisis you start with a new Rank 1 agent in a society of your choice. Also, some stats have a +4 or other number next to their skill. When you use that skill, your skill is considered that amount higher for the roll. Anti-Mutant (Category B) : Mutants bad. Bash Mutants. Covert: Investigation Subersive: Wetwork +4 Weird: Analysis C.L.A (Complex Laser Association) (Category B) IntSec is full of Commies. Only the People's Militia can defend Alpha Complex!' Covert: Defence Subversive Assault +4 Weird: Bigger Guns* (with a successful check, you may equip another minion with Assault, or upgrade to +4 if they already have Assault Clone Arrangers (Category B) He who controls the coning vats controls the future of Alpha Complex Covert: Cloning +4 Subversive: Bioscience Weird: Mutant Studies* Communists (COMMIES) Hail (John) Lennon and (Groucho) Marx! Down with the bourgeois Computer! Up with Communism! Covert: Habitat Engineering Subversive: Assault Weird: Propaganda +4 (you can also infect other minions with Propaganda, meaning the controller could earn Treason for using them) Computer Phreaks (Class C) All ur b@$e b3lon3 2 UZ" Covert: Data Retrieval Subversive: Hacking +4 Weird: Media Manipulation Corpore Metal (Category B) Meat is traitorous. Bots are good. Stick wires in your head, become more like bots Covert: Bot Engineering +4 Subversive: Bot Programming* (special rules apply) Weird: Cyborging* (Special Rules apply) Death Leopard (Category A) Dude! I just put FizzWizz in a High Programmer's Showerhead! EXCELLENT! *High Fives* Covert: Demolition* (Despite being listed as covert, Death Leopard doesn't really do Covert, they get noticed normally (IE, under Tension roll) Subversive: Assault +4 Weird: Disruption* (Increase the cost to activate a minion by 3) First Church of Christ Computer- Programmer (FCCC-P) (Category A) All hail the God-Computer! Covert: Covert Operations Subversive: Thought Control +4 Weird: Interrogation* Frankenstein Destroyers (Category C) Smash the Bots! The computer is a big bot, smaash it too! Covert: Bot Engineering Subversive: Production +4 Weird: Assault Free Enterprise (Category A) I got whatcha need, bada bing badda boom! Covert: Financial Systems +4 Subversive: Intimidation Weird: Procurement* (They can find what you need. Of course, you'll still have to pay for it!) Humanists (Category C) We can make Alpha Complex Better! Mostly by arguing about what we do after the Revolution.. Covert: Assessment Subversive: Paperwork +4 Weird: Co-Ordination* (if you roll a 20, the Humanists are unavailable for the rest of the crisis as they feud over what colors the banners will be in the new People's Congress or some such nonsense) The Movement (Category C) This complex is doomed. We need to start a new Complex somewhere else! Covert: Habitat Engineering Subversive: Command +4 Weird: WMD Mystics (Class B) Far out man! Expose yourself to the oneness of the universe! Just watch out for those bad trips.. Covert: Analysis Subversive: Pharmatherapy +4 Weird: Mystic Weirdness (Basically, you'll have to sort out the paranoid ramblings, but they might just stumble upon a bit of THE TRUTH. Pro Tech (Class B) So we were too unstable for R&D.. but nothing must get in the way of SCIENCE! Covert: Data Retrieval Subversive: Weird Science +4 Weird: Gadgeteering Psion (Category C) Mutants good. Bash Anti-Mutants. Big brains in a jar are good. Covert: Infiltration Subversive: Mutant Studies +4 Weird: Co-Ordination PURGE (Category C) Smash the Computer. PURGE is your friend. Covert:Demolition +4 Subversive: Assault Weird: Hacking Romantics (Category A): "The time before the Computer is so neat! The Force is With Us, Always (TM), (sings) I want it thattttt way Covert: Old Reckoning Studies +4 Subversive Thought Control Weird: Old Stuff (they can find pre-Reckoning stuff for you, for a price.) Runners (Category B) Sooner or later, everyone tries to escape Alpha Complex. We can help. Covert: Security Systems +4 Subversive: Outdoors Operations Weird: Running (With a successful check, the target of the ability avoids termination and maintains his rank in their secret society. Sierra Club (Category A) Isn't the outdoors great? Let's bring the Outdoors Indoors! Covert: Outdoor Studies Subversive: +4 Biosciences Weird: Salvage Servants of Cthulhu (Category C) Ia! Ia! C'thulu F'thagn! Computer C'thulu F'thagn Covert: Biosciences Subversive: Intimidation +4 Weird: Mutant Studies International Workers of the World (Category B) Communism Light. Covert: Construction Subversive: Production Weird: +4 Propaganda We are going to bid the groups two at a time, once a bid goes "dark" (no new bids) for 1 full day, we will close that auction, deduct the points from the pools, and assign the stakes of that Service Group, and open the next one.: Starting with: Armed Forces and IntSec.
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Apr 24, 2017 22:04
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I'll bid 4 for Armed Forces.
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Apr 25, 2017 03:55
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Bid 3 for Int Sec.
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Apr 25, 2017 04:54
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Bid 4 for Int Sec.
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Apr 25, 2017 08:24
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Bid 5 on Int Sec
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Apr 25, 2017 18:51
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Pass
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Apr 25, 2017 19:09
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Bid 6 for IntSec.
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Apr 25, 2017 19:37
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Bid 8 for Int Sec.
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Apr 25, 2017 20:09
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Bid 9 for IntSec.
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Apr 25, 2017 20:16
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Edit: Reconsidering. Will stick with pass if SirFozzie would rather.
IPlayVideoGames fucked around with this message at 22:50 on Apr 25, 2017 |
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Apr 25, 2017 20:23
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Nah, I didn't say "Once everyone passes", so you can continue
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Apr 26, 2017 01:21
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Bit 10 on intsec then
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Apr 26, 2017 01:39
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current stakes/bids Armed Forces: (Closed) Butt 4 IntSec: (Approx 18 hours till close) IPlayVideoGames: 10 AJImpy 9 Epicurius 3 NOW OPEN: CPU (No Bids) Still to come: HPD&MC PLC Tech Services Power Services R&D SirFozzie fucked around with this message at 07:11 on Apr 26, 2017 |
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Apr 26, 2017 07:08
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1 for CPU
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Apr 26, 2017 07:22
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Just a bit of pre-game writing, to properly set A pre-reckoning culture had a fictional story that started with "But for want of a nail, a horse was lost". You have vague ideas what a horse is, but through a vast confluence of unfortunate events, this horse being lost led to a King being killed. This worries Friend Computer, for it would mean that if there was a missing Product 2415241-B , then through a vast web of Communist Mutant Traitor sabotage, then it too, could be lost. So, besides being very quick with calling for termination booths when Produce 2415241-B doesn't meet quota, it constantly double checks and triple checks and triple checks the double checks data, to make sure it's data is good. After all the safety of Alpha Complex, and of Friend Computer, depends on it! And that brings us to the story of a nail. Or more accurately, a mis-installed Product 2414231-B (NailLike). Through out it's long history of installation in Subsector KJF, platform B, Transtube Q, it only caused problems twice. The first time was wobbling ever so slightly, brushing a wire and causing a very small power surge. Friend Computer has the best Power Surge protectors in all of Alpha Complex, of course, and corrected the fault in approximately 1.2 picoseconds. During that time, one bit of data was erroneously reported. The record of one particularly loyal High Programmer was misreported. Instead of having a 0.00083% chance of being a Communist, a Mutant and or a traitor, it reported an 83% chance that he was a Commie Mutant Traitor. Of course, this alarmed Friend Computer and following the ancient axiom "Where there's one traitor, there's others", it rechecked the loyalty index to link this poor, soon to be vaporized Commie Mutant Traitor to all his Commie Mutant Traitor bretheren for a clean sweep (Mostly, a clean sweep of the termination booths). It didn't take kindly to the insistence that there was a 0.00083% chance this High Programmer was a traitor. Either the High Programmer was a traitor, and had one of his loathsome bretheren change the data before he could be righteously terminated, or... there was a possiblity that the High Programmer WAS loyal, and some Commie Mutant Traitor was trying to frame him! In short, there was TREASON GOING ON, and it couldn't trust its data! So, Friend Computer decided that they would set up a Treason Test. A Treason Test is kind of like a Turing Test, but it's designed to flush out all the Traitors in a district. Subprograms went off, encouraging all IntSec undercover officers to engage in the basest spreading of rumors. Once all the traitors in the sector were flushed out, then it KNEW it could trust its data. It would place all its findings in a R&D Gadget KXFLAS, a mobile Comp Node, and send it to a non-traitorous node for processing and identification of all the Traitors to be Terminated. So, it did its best to let treason spread.. nothing that would cross sector boundaries, but still.. a sector is a large area! But it had to let the treason spread to its fullest extent, to make sure that no traitor was left unterminated Friend Computer's CompNode would have been doing the digital equivalent of humming with happiness if it could hum. (that subroutine had never quite been debugged properly).. it had a list of every Traitor in the sector, ready for the other CompNodes to process and bring the smoking boots of JUSTICE upon them. Did I say that Product 2414231-B caused TWO problems? Oh.. silly clone me. The second time was just after the data had been transferred to the KXFLAS. This time, the Nail hit the fan.. so to speak.. or more accurately (Friend Computer loves accuracy).. it hit that power wire again, causing a large short in the system, too much for even Friend Computer's power surge protectors to fully ameliorate, and the CompNode rebooted. Due to CommieMutantTraitor sabotage, the last backup was taken the daycycle before all the errors started Now, spare a thoughtcycle or two for this poor Compnode. It came to, it had lost more than a few cycles of records, there was all kinds of Traitorous Activity going around in the sector, and worst of all, some CommieMutantTraitor Device was connected to it!. It of course, tried to terminate the device, which bleeped and skittered away into a tunnel in fright. So, it was time to do the only thing left it could do. Call in the High Programmers.
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Apr 26, 2017 11:42
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11 on intsec, with favourable consideration if this bid stands. 2 on CPU.
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Apr 26, 2017 14:40
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12 on intsec.
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Apr 26, 2017 16:12
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13 on IntSec
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Apr 26, 2017 20:53
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14 on intsec
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Apr 26, 2017 21:11
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4 on CPU.
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Apr 26, 2017 21:13
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Update: Both still open, approximately 20 hours without a bid till close.
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Apr 27, 2017 00:52
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15 on Intsec.
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Apr 27, 2017 01:01
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16 on Intsec
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Apr 27, 2017 04:25
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Looks Like CPU may be closing/closed soon: Edit: CPU Finished Stakes: Armed Forces Butt *Head of Armed Forces* 4 Central Processing Epicurius *HEAD OF CPU* 4 AJ Impy 2 IPlayVideoGames 1 Current Status IntSec (Current Bid: 16, Minimum Bid: 17) Open (will close at 03:25 if no bid) NOW OPEN: HPD&MC (Current Bid: 5 Epicurius, Minimum Bid 6) You’re the Head of Housing Preservation Development & Mind Control. Your main task is to keep the proles in line – make sure the committee doesn’t make any decisions that would reduce happiness or cause discontent. The Computer doesn’t like it when people are unhappy. You must also ensure the supply of basic necessities – food, sedatives, water, TV – or the mob might get restless. Keep the proles happy at all costs, whatever it takes. If you don’t, then you’ll be facing a lynch mob or a firing squad. Impress on your fellow High Programmers (especially those PLC sycophants) the importance of maintaining order and the social contract. You’re also in charge of the media. You must put the correct spin on all decisions. The proles love it when a High Programmer addresses them directly, so try to get the other Programmers to make public appearances. SirFozzie fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Apr 28, 2017 |
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Apr 27, 2017 21:49
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I'll bid 6 on CPU.
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Apr 27, 2017 21:52
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 07:22 |
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Sorry, Butt, you're 39 minutes late.. unless Epicurius doesn't mind, I'm going to have to disallow the bid
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Apr 27, 2017 22:01
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