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Quicksilver6
Mar 21, 2008




Hair Elf

Because no one wants to hear MUFFFYYYYYY for that long

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tankadillo
Aug 15, 2006



Vincent Van Goatse posted:

They cut twenty minutes out. WHY WOULD YOU CUT TWENTY MINUTES FROM THIS KIND OF FILM

To anyone who has seen the original: was there anything interesting cut out? Do those missing 20 minutes actually explain anything?

Canned Panda
Jul 10, 2012






https://www.rifftrax.com/aladdin

quote:

Long before there was a terrible Disney live-action version of Aladdin, there was a terrible Disney live-action version of Aladdin!
This one came out two years before the classic animated version, and has been rightfully scrubbed from history. In fact, Disney was so eager to suppress it that the guy who played Aladdin never acted again! Or before! This was his only role, and after ten seconds of his performance, you will realize it was one too many.

The role of the Genie is played by Barry Bostwick, who appears to be doing an impression of the ventriloquist dummy Madame if she were operated by Charles Nelson Riley. The music fares no better, possibly an effort by director and noted Monkee Micky Dolenz to make the movie Head look better by comparison. Also the whole thing takes place in China. We know this because the cast of midwestern white people repeatedly reminds us that they are in China, often with a sensitive gong sound effect for emphasis.

tankadillo
Aug 15, 2006




Is this the first Disney-produced VOD they’ve ever done?

Some of their “kids’ stuff” movies are kind of meh but this looks too ridiculous to ignore.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.




Smellrose


And apparently 10 minutes were cut out of a 70 minute film. Like, come the gently caress on.

IUG
Jul 14, 2007

Without me, there is no mission.
I am the mission!


Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Just a warning, the latest RiffTrax VOD is missing 20 minutes of its 90 minute running time. That's absurd.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

18 minutes have been cut from the latest release.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

And again they've chopped fifteen or so minutes out of the film.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

They cut twenty minutes out. WHY WOULD YOU CUT TWENTY MINUTES FROM THIS KIND OF FILM

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

And apparently 10 minutes were cut out of a 70 minute film. Like, come the gently caress on.

Yo, maybe you shouldn't watch Rifftrax anymore if you think this is some kind of movie preservation thing. They don't have to make a movie as long as the original. The product page on Rifftrax tells you exactly how long the file is, so it's not like they're stealing from you.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.




Smellrose

Why is "durr you think RiffTrax is a film preservation service" always the reaction? I'm just baffled and annoyed that, for whatever reason, they started taking a hacksaw to their VOD releases when they managed to not do that for a decade or more.

Quicksilver6
Mar 21, 2008




Hair Elf

You complain about it every time like it’s the crime of the century. Nobody cares.

Breadallelogram
Oct 9, 2012

Rise up - for you the flag is flung - for you the bugle trills



Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Why is "durr you think RiffTrax is a film preservation service" always the reaction? I'm just baffled and annoyed that, for whatever reason, they started taking a hacksaw to their VOD releases when they managed to not do that for a decade or more.

they couldn't think of good jokes for that part

Bedurndurn
Dec 4, 2008


Quicksilver6 posted:

You complain about it every time like it’s the crime of the century. Nobody cares.

I care.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtDnqcs786Q

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

I'm curious about what was cut; if it was bits of scenes or an actual scene or...

TVs Ian
Jun 1, 2000

Such graceful, delicate creatures.


Breadallelogram posted:

they couldn't think of good jokes for that part

It could also be that the version they got the rights to was pre-cut for some reason. MST3K used to cut movies for time or content, but they’d also get TV edited versions that may have already had missing stuff.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.




Smellrose

There's about 90 seconds cut from Contamination and what got trimmed was literally one of the funnier parts of the film where Colonel Whatsherface stares into the camera and draws out a line for so long the poor woman who dubbed her voice kinda wigged out. There's no way they couldn't have had fun with that.

I just don't understand how a team that managed to write riffs for all of motherfucking Rollergator are suddenly having problems writing a whole movie's worth of jokes.

Vincent Van Goatse fucked around with this message at 04:42 on May 16, 2020

Canned Panda
Jul 10, 2012






Some of it is 100% like TVs Ian said, it's the edit of the movie that they get the rights to use.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.




Smellrose

Canned Panda posted:

Some of it is 100% like TVs Ian said, it's the edit of the movie that they get the rights to use.

Yeah, that's definitely the case for Ninja Warlord. It's one of approximately 57 different cuts of that movie and the cuts are obviously from being edited for television by Larry Bensky. Wanna know why the film is so slow and jerky for the first minute? The original cut had a paragraph of text in Chinese explaining what was going on (I assume) and to cover it up they slowed down the first scene after that.

Another Bill
Sep 27, 2018

I wish I had a son to kick me in the nuts.




What's that thing we're supposed to repeat to ourselves again?

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.




Smellrose

Another Bill posted:

What's that thing we're supposed to repeat to ourselves again?

That's MST3K.

Another Bill
Sep 27, 2018

I wish I had a son to kick me in the nuts.





Congratulations, you're truly splitting the finest of hair

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

Another Bill posted:

What's that thing we're supposed to repeat to ourselves again?

Maria Bamford's "Anxiety Song"?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3k861fymMw#t=3s

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


So has anyone watched Aladdin yet? https://www.rifftrax.com/aladdin

When I saw the tweet this looked must own but I need to decide between this and Suburban Sasquatch.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

The unriffed version of Aladin is on youtube. At least until the takedown notices get sent by Disney

Barudak
May 7, 2007



As a kid thats the version of Aladdin I saw first.

Its extremely forgettable

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

I will only assume that the 10 minutes that were cut were simultaneously astonishingly forgettable and horrifyingly racist.

Edit:

\/ Well, that explains three of the forgettably racist minutes.

RandomPauI fucked around with this message at 15:57 on May 16, 2020

Canned Panda
Jul 10, 2012






Three of the minutes cut from Aladdin are from the beginning, where it's literally a montage of the entire movie.

tankadillo
Aug 15, 2006



smh if you aren't watching the extended director's cut of the 1990 made-for-tv Aladdin.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

Two of those minutes are a horse riding outtake from the directors cut of the Gettysburg Miniseries!

RandomPauI fucked around with this message at 15:58 on May 16, 2020

Billy Gnosis
May 18, 2006

Now is the time for us to gather together and celebrate those things that we like and think are fun.


Fan of Britches

I felt bad for Barry Bostwick and Mickey Dolenz during most of the riff.

Dawgstar
Jul 15, 2017



Barudak posted:

Yeah I think thats the best description of their cadence. Like the running "so you went to prom" joke is just incredible

I really dug 'The Maturing Woman' short. "Oh, Mary Jo, this will be good for you!"

InsertPotPun
Apr 16, 2018


maybe they are being safe in their "parody" designation by also altering the movie?
they seem pretty nice, i doubt they're loving with you guys on purpose

muscles like this! posted:

While the new one was still good you can definitely tell they're doing something different with the recording as there's much less playing off each other as there used to be.
which makes NO sense because, as we all learned in the "a talking cat?!?" episode, they all live together in the rifftrax house.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Sure are a lot of white people in China in Aladdin.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

I was going to make a snide comment about the musicals director, Micky Dolenz, but he was Auther on the "The Tick!" cartoon so I'll give him this one pass!

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Dawgstar posted:

I really dug 'The Maturing Woman' short. "Oh, Mary Jo, this will be good for you!"

Oh goodness that whole short is just brutal in the funniest way. I can watch that over and over again, absolute classic.

NikkolasKing
Apr 3, 2010





I can't recall if I ever saw it but is the Riff of The Happening good?

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

Does this seem like something they could even get the rights to riff?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHN-Wg4kzsI

It's about how to cook with a microwave and Kahlua!

overseer07
Mar 30, 2003


Pillbug

NikkolasKing posted:

I can't recall if I ever saw it but is the Riff of The Happening good?

Hhhhhhot dogs

bad posts ahead!!!
Feb 16, 2007

everyone feels that way and gives up.
that's how they get away with it.


overseer07 posted:

Hhhhhhot dogs

nature’s perfect food~

Dawgstar
Jul 15, 2017



Boy, 'Uninvited' sure was a story about a cat that barfs up a demon cat and kills people on a boat. Like, you can say that but you're not really prepared until you watch it.

AvesPKS
Sep 26, 2004

I don't dance unless I'm totally wasted.

Does anyone have the danger theme from "Missile X" stuck in their head? I must've background watched that stupid movie at least 20 times by now.

"Rock 'n Roll Nightmare" used to be my go to, but I think I've watched it too much now.

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Another Bill
Sep 27, 2018

I wish I had a son to kick me in the nuts.




Dawgstar posted:

Boy, 'Uninvited' sure was a story about a cat that barfs up a demon cat and kills people on a boat. Like, you can say that but you're not really prepared until you watch it.

Even if you remove the cat, the story about the two girls and two other dudes that get on a boat sailing into the Caribbean with a money launderer they just met makes zero sense.

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