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UWBW
Aug 2, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo


Iím not kidding you here, I mean a LOT of nerf guns.

Iíve got calibrated 6-shooters with customized pumps that can practically put a hole in a concrete wall. Iíve got specially modified CO2 powered machine guns that can send a nerf dart flying through several panes of glass. Iíve got a nerf knife, made of foam with a hard rubber ďstemĒ inside it to keep it from bending. Iíve got it all.

Now, you might think that someone like me, someone living such a luxury-filled life, would be happy, right? Well, I thought so too, until I saw my neighborís cache of paintball-related goods. Heís into paintball guns the same way Iím into nerf guns.

And it terrifies me.

I think Iíve been spared, honestly, from a life of meaninglessness. Iíve seen how he cares for his paintball equipment, how he lovingly polishes his mask every day, and gives each individual paintball a kiss before loading it into his rifle and blasting chipmunks in his backyard. Iíve watched him fill water balloons full of paint, consider throwing them at stray dogs and children that walk by his yard, and then gently set them back down.

And Iíve seen him on the bad nights, the lonely nights, the nights where he just cradles the cold steel in his arm, and cries. Sometimes I look out my kitchen window in the morning, through his french doors on the side of his house, and I see him passed out on the floor, an opened bottle of vodka and an empty shot glass, with paint plastered to the temple of his skull, gun lying next to him on the floor, tears streaking down his face.

I see where my nerf gun path is taking me, and where that path leads is not a pretty place at all. I donít wish to see that dark place towards which I am headed.

So tell me, goons, what kind of shrubbery would be best suited to blocking all view of his french doors? Thanks in advance.

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EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

Use them to annihilate the small insects creeping into your homes.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

Silent Majority
PEEKABOO


Is this is GBS 2005?

Stuntman
Feb 6, 2010

by Lowtax


please stop making threads. thanks in advance

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Parallax Scroll
Nov 13, 2009

spiderman

my friend modded a nerf gun so it was belt fed full auto, was kinda cool

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

*Suck My Balls*

pew pew pew!

UWBW
Aug 2, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo


Stuntman posted:

please stop making threads. thanks in advance

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


try some real gun they are more fun

nigga crab pollock
Mar 26, 2010

by Lowtax


i almost got blinded by some autistic fat chick's gustav cannon at the campus nerf club and i never returned

ass
Sep 22, 2011


Young Orc

Stuntman posted:

please stop making threads. thanks in advance

Yeah! gently caress people who make threads that aren't 3 words long!

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

Even in Death...


Yams Fan

pics yo, otherwise you're just full of poo poo

Gimbal lock
Dec 28, 2008

Incoming top secret message:
I love you


Biscuit Hider

Maybe stick to the anonymous confessions.

Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

expect attention, newbie


I had one of those sick nerf guns with the suction cups as a kid! I accidentally shot my eye out though, so that wasn't fun.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

Silent Majority
PEEKABOO


Post the MLP mod

UWBW
Aug 2, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo


rear end posted:

Yeah! gently caress people who make threads that aren't 3 words long!

Mr. Lowtax demands content. I am his eager slave.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

Even in Death...


Yams Fan

UWBW posted:

Mr. Lowtax demands content. I am his eager slave.

Post your arsenal!

UWBW
Aug 2, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo


Iron Crowned posted:

Post your arsenal!

99% of the OP was a lie, but I actually have an arsenal. Unfortunately I am at work at this time, but if I can be assed to remember I'll post what I got when I get home.

nigga crab pollock
Mar 26, 2010

by Lowtax


i bought and then sold some on craigslist but i still have the electric powered ones because lol why not

UWBW
Aug 2, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo


nigga crab pollock posted:

i bought and then sold some on craigslist but i still have the electric powered ones because lol why not

My friend has an off brand one of those, and it's awful. It's roughly the shape of a humpback whale, shoots darts about 8 feet, and makes a horrible whirring and clicking noise like a robot on life support.

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

Did you do somethin' with your hair?



Hi! I want to see all your nerf guns!

Nut to Butt
Apr 13, 2009

Make your buddy smile!


I like azaleas, as their foliage is typically dense enough to obscure line of sight, while their spring blooms are beautiful and fragrant!

UWBW
Aug 2, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo


Nut to Butt posted:

I like azaleas, as their foliage is typically dense enough to obscure line of sight, while their spring blooms are beautiful and fragrant!

Hey, someone who actually read my shitpost. Thank you

Cantaloupe
Apr 18, 2009

I'll be the rollinbout


What model would you recommend for the first-time nerf buyer?

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001


How big is your nerf gun OP?

UWBW
Aug 2, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo


Cantaloupe posted:

What model would you recommend for the first-time nerf buyer?

https://www.amazon.com/Nerf-N-Strik...r/dp/B0002UP0IA

Possibly the best nerf gun ever made. I have one sitting next to me at work, and I use it to shoot my boss from time to time.

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

How big is your nerf gun OP?

Me too, thanks.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



UWBW posted:

I’m not kidding you here, I mean a LOT of nerf guns.

I’ve got calibrated 6-shooters with customized pumps that can practically put a hole in a concrete wall. I’ve got specially modified CO2 powered machine guns that can send a nerf dart flying through several panes of glass. I’ve got a nerf knife, made of foam with a hard rubber “stem” inside it to keep it from bending. I’ve got it all.

Now, you might think that someone like me, someone living such a luxury-filled life, would be happy, right? Well, I thought so too, until I saw my neighbor’s cache of paintball-related goods. He’s into paintball guns the same way I’m into nerf guns.

And it terrifies me.

I think I’ve been spared, honestly, from a life of meaninglessness. I’ve seen how he cares for his paintball equipment, how he lovingly polishes his mask every day, and gives each individual paintball a kiss before loading it into his rifle and blasting chipmunks in his backyard. I’ve watched him fill water balloons full of paint, consider throwing them at stray dogs and children that walk by his yard, and then gently set them back down.

And I’ve seen him on the bad nights, the lonely nights, the nights where he just cradles the cold steel in his arm, and cries. Sometimes I look out my kitchen window in the morning, through his french doors on the side of his house, and I see him passed out on the floor, an opened bottle of vodka and an empty shot glass, with paint plastered to the temple of his skull, gun lying next to him on the floor, tears streaking down his face.

I see where my nerf gun path is taking me, and where that path leads is not a pretty place at all. I don’t wish to see that dark place towards which I am headed.

So tell me, goons, what kind of shrubbery would be best suited to blocking all view of his french doors? Thanks in advance.
Shoot him with a piss soaked nerf dart.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



I don't mean from hiding, either. I mean like go talk to him holding a nerf gun and at some point in the conversation shoot him with a piss soaked dart.

Psycho Society
Oct 21, 2010

by Lowtax


Stuntman posted:

please stop making threads. thanks in advance

I'm gonna break ur computer IRL bitch

Psycho Society
Oct 21, 2010

by Lowtax


I had big nerf battles with my nephews and bro and it was pretty cool. Many nerf darts were fired wildly into the cactus fields of arizona.

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

Nothin' but lint.

I had to teach myself to solder because my son watched some stupid video on youtube that said it was fine to shove 12 volts of batteries in his new gun without upgrading any internal poo poo.

But turns out it is fun and now I want to solder more stuff into kid toys.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



The Dregs posted:

I had to teach myself to solder because my son watched some stupid video on youtube that said it was fine to shove 12 volts of batteries in his new gun without upgrading any internal poo poo.
Well?? What did it do

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

Nothin' but lint.

a hole-y ghost posted:

Well?? What did it do

It did gently caress all.
I think he instantly burned poo poo out. The motors were still good, so I just wired them directly to the trigger and now it works, but I made him put the old AA's back in. Considering upgrading the motor though, now that I see how easy this stuff is.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



The Dregs posted:

It did gently caress all.
I think he instantly burned poo poo out. The motors were still good, so I just wired them directly to the trigger and now it works, but I made him put the old AA's back in. Considering upgrading the motor though, now that I see how easy this stuff is.
I heard you can rewire a disposable camera's flash to a piece of metal and it will discharge the capacitor when the metal is touched, you should make a shock bayonet to attach to the gun.

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

Nothin' but lint.

a hole-y ghost posted:

I heard you can rewire a disposable camera's flash to a piece of metal and it will discharge the capacitor when the metal is touched, you should make a shock bayonet to attach to the gun.

or just tape a rusty tent spike to it

fishing with the fam
Feb 29, 2008

Durr


I really hope you're a member of a well regulated nerf militia.

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008

The most richly flavored of all drunkards.

When I was a kid we made our own Nerf guns with a section of 3" pipe, a grill igniter, some hairspray, and a potato. Send a supersonic potato through your neighbor's window, OP.

UWBW
Aug 2, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo


The Dregs posted:

It did gently caress all.
I think he instantly burned poo poo out. The motors were still good, so I just wired them directly to the trigger and now it works, but I made him put the old AA's back in. Considering upgrading the motor though, now that I see how easy this stuff is.

I've heard that there's actually a big market for modded nerf guns, so if your son doesn't care anymore, maybe you could make some bucks off ebay.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



the best known translation is "die properly"

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008



I was just reading about the guy who wrote the book that the documentary "Pumping Iron" was based on, and apparently this same guy invented paintball. Isn't that wild? I never thought of someone actually inventing it. Well, they said he played the first game of it with his friend, and then his friend went on to make the first paintball equipment company or something.

What was your question again?

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canadianclassic
Nov 3, 2004



Rutibex posted:

try some real gun they are more fun

this is kind of true but you can't do much with real guns. at least with airsoft and nerfs you can have wars with your friends.

i have some real guns but i don't get to use them much and when i do there's all these rules and poo poo so you don't accidentally kill you're self or someone else

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