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Ben Me Lowtax
Aug 22, 2005



Grimey Drawer

Hello!

I've been dicking around with a series of vignettes based around a few superheroes as they age, from teenagers to adults. The format, so far, has vignettes that jump between timelines, showing growth in character, ongoing themes and recurring conflicts. At the moment, it's written in first person. It's been suggested that this body of short stories be turned into a graphic novel and I'd like to give it a shot. I'm unfamiliar with the process but , I've been learning. If you're an interested graphic artist, I would love to work with you. I have only basic graphic skill and no experience with Illustrator and it's ilk.
Disclaimer: I mary-sue'd my own 'Smash' handle in there and lifted some names from a couple forums posters who dared me to write fan-fiction about them. I ran with it for a laugh but it's grown beyond that and, I'd like to continue working with it; I am totally open to changing the names and characters around.

Below is a sample scene from a second draft. In this scene the narrator (Smash), his established friend (Bux) and a new character (Gee) do their best to resolve a crisis inside their school. Alarms are sounding, the building is being locked down and cries for help can be heard. Smash is very strong, can heal himself, and is learning how to create and control kinetic energy. Bux is a powerful telekinetic and is learning that he has biokinetic abilities. Gee is a new addition to the school and is able to manipulate gravity and is learning to manipulate mass. They are in their early to mid-teens at this time.

quote:

Metal gates that I wasn't aware exisisted were now descending over the windows and doorways. Now or never, Mr. Hero. Time to earn that name you love so much. I bolted for the nearest doorway that lead to the hall, meeting the falling gate with my shoulder. The impact stung but I had conjured enough force that the it buckled and gave way. Gee glided into the hallway, her head darting around. An explosion sounded off, another shake on the ground, and more screaming. “This way! I can feel it coming from this way!” She pointed north and began gliding that way. Deep breath, think about this. Behind me, I heard the gate crumple more. I turned around and saw Bux with his hands raised, he had rolled the broken gate up so that it stayed in place. “Like the girl said, you will need help, friend.” I nodded and took chase after Gee. She was heading towards the center of the building, towards a notably more secure door. Focus. Remember what the counselor told you, you are in control of your body. Your body is a battering ram, the door will give way. Keep going. My muscles felt electric. I picked up pace and aimed my other shoulder at the door. As I landed there was a horrible pop in my shoulder. The door did not yield but there was a Smash-sized dent in it.

“You! If I make that door lighter can you pull it from its frame? The explosions are coming from just beyond that door, in the infirmary.” Gee was motioning between Bux and the doorway.

“I will try.” Bux closed his eyes and raised his hands toward the door. The door trembled violently, the tiles below it cracking and shattering from the stress. “You should… move.”

“What?” I should have moved. The door came loose and flew at me too to react appropriately. I dodged as best as I could but an edge of the door clipped my shoulder. I felt the pop again and yelped. I think I just dislocated and then re-located my arm. Focus, you don’t know what’s next. My pain is quickly drowned out as a clutch of nurses and care-takers came running through the doorway.

“Oh, god he’s going to kill everyone!” someone screamed.

“Who?!” I barked, totally bewildered.

“One of the residents, a pyrokinetic!” The screaming died down as the escapees made their way around a corner.

“That’s fire, right?” Gee said.

Smoke is pouring through the doorway now and it looks like the sprinklers have been activated. “Only one way to find out, I guess.” I start forward into the infirmary, “Stay behind me, I can protect you.” I tried to sound brave but my voice is shaking.

“Worry about protecting them, first.” Bux points at a group of doctors huddled against a wall. In front of them is a boy I had only met last week. He couldn’t have been older than twelve. He was just over five feet tall but today, he looked taller than ever. His clothes are a singed mess and he was screaming at the doctors.

“You want me to go?! You take me from the streets and then say I can't stay? I'm dangerous to others, right?!” The boy was shouting through gritted teeth.

One of the doctors raises his hands above his head, “Please, Charlie, It’s for the best! We only want the best for you! You need to be somewhere where you can work on your anger!”

He hasn’t seen us yet. I motion for Gee and Bux to get low and try to speak as quietly as the sirens allow, “We need to get Charlie unconscious and the doctors to safety. Gee, can you change gravity around me and Charlie so that if I jump and grab him, we go through the ceiling?”

“I can try. You’re going to have to be right on top of him, though.” Gee’s voice was wavering. She's more nervous than I am. This is going to suck if we can't pull it off.

“Ok, Bux, pull the docs toward the hallway we just came from, get them out of the way.” The sound of heat warping the air and metal expanding filled my ears. Charlie was gone, there was a boy made of fire standing in front of the doctors. Now or never. “gently caress. Ok. Ready?” I am only talking to myself, trying to get pyshced. “HEY CHARLIE!” I shout, hoping to draw his attention away from the doctors. I close my eyes and run straight at him. Be like a river. He lets loose an unholy howl and peals of flames wash over me. I put too much force into my run, instead, tackling Charlie but, I had managed to grab him with a good bear hug. I feeel my clothes burning away and my skin blistering. I am in control. I feel no pain. I wrestled us to a standing position and crouched low, “NOW, GEE, NOW!” Like coiled springs my legs exploded with energy I’ve never felt before and we go head-first through the roof. Charlie is screaming, “I can’t stop burning! I can’t stop it! Let me go or I’ll kill you!”

I opened my eyes for the first time since I had charged this boy and saw my skin was charred black. I release him out of pure shock, not having any real plan about what came next. Gravity was starting to return and I feel my stomach lurch. Charlie continued to move upwards into the sky as I fall backwards. It seems like falling back took forever, longer than it had ever taken me to return to the ground. I see Charlie hang in the sky for a second, no longer screaming. Charlie is gone, then, now a nova of fire in his place. The flames die out and there was no boy, only smoke and ash. I feel a soft impact on my back and the pain kicks in. I am on the floor of the infirmary again, laying in a pool of water from the sprinklers.

“It is a good thing you landed in the clinic.” Bux chuckled.

“I guess so.” I croaked as consciousness leaves me.

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