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So yeah, aliens show up, who talks to em? Trump? UN? (bet you loving can't name the sec general now) The Queen? Putin? NATO?
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Apr 21, 2017 06:50
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Whales.
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Apr 21, 2017 07:05
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They use the helicopter with flashy lights first.
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Apr 21, 2017 07:47
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I mean we just had a movie about the answer being "experts who can figure out how," but if you want a current world leader who we could reasonably hope would not get us killed we've got a decent Pope for once.
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Apr 21, 2017 09:01
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Vermin Supreme.
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Apr 21, 2017 09:20
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my Dad will want to exchange words with them.
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Apr 21, 2017 09:24
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Hodgepodge posted:I mean we just had a movie about the answer being "experts who can figure out how," imo if some aliens came all this way and didn't bother to use the plentiful amount of cultural context available in our broadcasts to decipher our language before they get here, i say gently caress em. what kind of two-bit operation can't decode our meat flappings with little more than a barely detectable increase in the energy consumption of their mothership's processor core? oh, you want us to crawl inside your wack rear end horrorship and look at you like idiots for hours waiting for you to loving say something? gtfo with that poo poo
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Apr 21, 2017 09:49
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if the aliens show up and speak french at humanity basically the french would immeidately join the alien side
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Apr 21, 2017 09:51
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I think aliens are most likely going to be nerd computer beings that will cry because we like cultural things with no practical use
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Apr 21, 2017 10:02
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trump is the alien what do u have to say to him???
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Apr 21, 2017 10:36
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VectorSigma posted:imo if some aliens came all this way and didn't bother to use the plentiful amount of cultural context available in our broadcasts to decipher our language before they get here, i say gently caress em. what kind of two-bit operation can't decode our meat flappings with little more than a barely detectable increase in the energy consumption of their mothership's processor core? oh, you want us to crawl inside your wack rear end horrorship and look at you like idiots for hours waiting for you to loving say something? gtfo with that poo poo The first thing we'll be doing if a species with the technology to reach us is sitting outside our gravity well is learn how to call them "sir." Gravity wells are funny things where objects entering them magically have a bunch of extra kinetic energy and it turns out that a bunch of mass with a bunch of kinetic energy hits one of our cities it vaporizes. That's not even using some fancy weapon from the brains that figured out interstellar travel, that's dropping some rocks.
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Apr 21, 2017 10:48
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Even more lethal though would be the inherent shame. "How far have you traveled from your home planet? Oh, your moon? That's good. Good first step."
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Apr 21, 2017 10:52
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Baloogan posted:if the aliens show up and speak french at humanity basically the french would immeidately join the alien side or german for that matter
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Apr 21, 2017 11:08
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Hodgepodge posted:The first thing we'll be doing if a species with the technology to reach us is sitting outside our gravity well is learn how to call them "sir." the spacetime warp of a planetary gravity well is negligible if you can already drive mass to relativistic speed for interstellar travel - just collect all your poop for the whole journey and release it before your deceleration impulse so millions of tons of feces impact the moon at .58c and whatever remains of the human race carries genetic memory of how much they got owned just in time for you to show up.
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Apr 21, 2017 11:11
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VectorSigma posted:the spacetime warp of a planetary gravity well is negligible if you can already drive mass to relativistic speed for interstellar travel - just collect all your poop for the whole journey and release it before your deceleration impulse so millions of tons of feces impact the moon at .58c and whatever remains of the human race carries genetic memory of how much they got owned just in time for you to show up. I'm pretty sure aliens will be tiny as gently caress, like, we're giants compared to them.
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Apr 21, 2017 11:13
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Baloogan posted:I'm pretty sure aliens will be tiny as gently caress, like, we're giants compared to them. oh yeah well i disagree. i think aliens will be large. gently caress off with this pseudoscientific drivel baloogan
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Apr 21, 2017 11:48
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VectorSigma posted:the spacetime warp of a planetary gravity well is negligible if you can already drive mass to relativistic speed for interstellar travel - just collect all your poop for the whole journey and release it before your deceleration impulse so millions of tons of feces impact the moon at .58c and whatever remains of the human race carries genetic memory of how much they got owned just in time for you to show up. they'd show up and be all like "oh when he set out we checked and that's how were greeting each other  "...............however,  1g constant acceleration (roughly the acceleration due to gravity at Earth's surface) is actually a wet dream for interstellar travel; if you can manage that for just over a year in space you can accelerate to c and then the problem is actually slowing down so that you arrive as a space ship and not a relativistic kill vehicle (something that would gently caress up most of the solar system if it hit Earth) the gravity well of a planet the size of Earth is nothing to gently caress around with, we proved that time dilation exists by measuring the effect of our gravity well on the relative passage of time between Earth and in orbit Hodgepodge has issued a correction as of 11:54 on Apr 21, 2017 |
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Apr 21, 2017 11:52
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all the rocky planets in our solar system are smaller than earth, our brain meat totally is size inefficent (computers are much smarter and smaller) smaller aliens means they can go faster (smaller space ships) the evidence is there im presupposing that the aliens come and visit US
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Apr 21, 2017 11:56
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also while i'm showing off the results of lots of science reading during night shifts, the whole generation ship colonization thing assumes you can't even manage 0.1g constant acceleration; from the reference frame of the ship that's enough acceleration to go anywhere in our galaxy
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Apr 21, 2017 11:58
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VectorSigma posted:imo if some aliens came all this way and didn't bother to use the plentiful amount of cultural context available in our broadcasts to decipher our language before they get here, i say gently caress em. what kind of two-bit operation can't decode our meat flappings with little more than a barely detectable increase in the energy consumption of their mothership's processor core? oh, you want us to crawl inside your wack rear end horrorship and look at you like idiots for hours waiting for you to loving say something? gtfo with that poo poo Aliens arrive Alien leader extends his graceful hand towards Earth's delegate and whispers "Teach me what makes you human" A single tear rolls down the human's cheek, then he replies emotionally: "I'm not here to educate you, shitlord!"
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Apr 21, 2017 12:00
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Baloogan posted:all the rocky planets in our solar system are smaller than earth, our brain meat totally is size inefficent (computers are much smarter and smaller) smaller aliens means they can go faster (smaller space ships) you're expecting ducks aren't you
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Apr 21, 2017 11:59
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yes
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Apr 21, 2017 12:00
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suddenly a golden shaft of light erupts from the sky over mar a lago a brief message is broadcast in every language over every frequency: quote:it is time for him to return to his people
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Apr 21, 2017 12:03
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also maintaining 0.1g indefinitely is insane
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Apr 21, 2017 12:08
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torchship!!!!
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Apr 21, 2017 12:08
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What if the entire species looked like Katy Perry?
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Apr 21, 2017 12:26
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what if theyre true&honest grays who just want to chill out a bit and hang out watching galactic tv. thatd be nice
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Apr 21, 2017 12:47
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it would be loving awesome if like, suddenly there were 1000s of new stars, the braking burn of a massive fleet of alien ships. we only can see their burn plooms from this far out but we know its a massive fleet. And we know exactly when they will show up based on their deceleration curves: 2190. we have almost 200 years to get ready for whatever the gently caress it is. At night the blue glow from their engines is bright enough to see with the naked eye.
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Apr 21, 2017 12:49
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that'd freak me out a bit i think
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Apr 21, 2017 12:54
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they can get to the back of the line, pay their taxes, and apply to enter like anyone else
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Apr 21, 2017 12:57
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or, another scenario earth's neutrino detectors go nuts, receiving some sort of binary code, on off on off 01011100101110111010001010 the data is recorded even though the neutrino scientists are pissed that someone is loving up their experiments. the stream of neutrinos seem to come from the core of the milky way scientists around the world get to work cracking the code, years go by with zero progress decoding whatever it is, the public loses interest quickly the transmission ends we still don't know whatever the gently caress
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Apr 21, 2017 13:05
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i also think that there could be viruses zooming around the universe, some sort of signal that makes lifeforms want to build radio telescopes and rebroadcast the signal until the universe is singing the same hymn and whoever is running the sim gets pissed off and shuts us down
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Apr 21, 2017 13:06
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Baloogan posted:or, another scenario if you wanted that scenario you shouldn't have posted a competitor in the book thread
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Apr 21, 2017 13:07
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HMV is 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000x too prolix as gently caress
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Apr 21, 2017 13:09
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lem is like Polish Prolixski
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Apr 21, 2017 13:09
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imo HMV shouldn't have had ANY useful side effects whatsoever. i thought the frogs eggs spoiled the core message of the book. if you get magic alien tech outta a alien transmission then damnit you got something useful outta it
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Apr 21, 2017 13:10
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HMV is also not a first contact story. its a prolix story about prolix as gently caress bureaucratzy. HMV could have been written about (prolix) hieroglyphics found deep underwater, or a new (extra prolix) technology.
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Apr 21, 2017 13:14
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Baloogan posted:it would be loving awesome if like, suddenly there were 1000s of new stars, the braking burn of a massive fleet of alien ships. we only can see their burn plooms from this far out but we know its a massive fleet. And we know exactly when they will show up based on their deceleration curves: 2190. we have almost 200 years to get ready for whatever the gently caress it is. the fateful day arrives and they sail on by towards a planet not full of dickheads man setting out to colonize a world and finding a post-industrial society when you finally get there would suck
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Apr 21, 2017 13:20
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aliens show up and tell us they agree fully with everything this "Twitter" entity has to say
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Apr 21, 2017 13:48
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the only thing i care about is if i can gently caress the aliens
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Apr 21, 2017 14:28
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