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numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



JUST GIMME 20 MORE MINUTES IM EXFOLIATING MY CALVES.

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EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

*hears a dozen heavy items drop and crack on the floor*

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



*loud buzzing motors sounds despite not owning any electric toothbrushes or hair clippers*

poopnanners
May 3, 2016

hey guys lets party


Just finished shaving. Hair all over the shower slash tub. Face still has a patchy beard.

TropicalCoke
Feb 14, 2012


*brushes teeth after roommate finished pooping*

Senior Management
Jul 3, 2011





How many times have I told you!? It is more water efficient if we shower together. I thought you called yourself an environmentalist?

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



*jacks off into sink, complains that drain is clogged*

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



"I'm still peein jeez!"

Hatebag
Jun 17, 2008


I'm running the shower to mask the sound of me jacking off.
It's not working & you hear every wet stroke and then a deep groan as i cum on your toothbrush.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005


Hell Gem

*carefully lines up the toothpaste tubes to fill my toothpaste from his*

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



*has diarrhea in the shower*

YonKnave
Jun 23, 2010


*dead*

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


*Runs hot shower for three hours*

*sits on toilet*

*Smokes half an ounce of weed*

Barudak
May 7, 2007

No no, I'm Sean Mexico. You must have me mistaken for someone else.

*bathroom is unoccupied because I dont exist*

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



*sprays piss*

zaepg
Dec 25, 2008


Here are some from the experience vault:

*Forgets to close close bathroom door while pooping.
*Sings songs very well for long durations of time in the early morning
*Leaves beard trimmings
*Always some mysterious sticky puddle on the floor that fucks up your socks
*Bathroom is already crumbling from age, why give a poo poo?
*Pube hairs stuck to dried piss on the toilet.
*Uses your towel.

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



zaepg posted:

Here are some from the experience vault:

*Forgets to close close bathroom door while pooping.

"forgets"

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high


"Who keeps using all this toilet paper!?"

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

"Hold on! I just gotta finish reading this real quick." 'Call me Ismael.'

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005


Hell Gem

Gay Weed Dad posted:

"Who keeps using all this toilet paper!?"

Bobbo Biggins
May 13, 2015

In a hole in the ground there lived a goon.

*splashing sounds*
*water spilling from underneath door*
"Hey, you ok in there?"
*water slowly turns pink*
"Ok, we'll catch up later."

Shamino
Mar 14, 2008


*sticks your toothbrush up rear end*

Tomato Burger
Jun 18, 2007
The secret is granola.

"Hey, sorry about that, man. I just finished scrubbing the tub and installed that new towel rack. You can take whichever one you prefer. Want to grab some milkshakes later?"

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

FUCK FEMINISM I BELIEVE IN HUMAN RIGHTS...FOR ALL!


I'm sick because I have AIDS but don't find out for a few more years.

ChaseSP
Mar 25, 2013



*poops in the tub, fishes it out with his coffee cup. Forgets about it and leaves it in there for you to find out.*

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



*pinches a loaf*
*gets sued for sexual harassment*

Sensual Simian
Jun 7, 2004

summer jorts


Damnit grandma I told you already I'm taking a poo poo!

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009



Pillbug

*takes shower unusually early and stays in there until the hotwater is out*

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006


Jacking In
Jacking Out


ArbitraryC posted:

*takes shower unusually early and stays in there until the hotwater is out*
I did that sometimes but our hotwater at the transfer dorms sucked so it was easy to do. usually came back relatively quick

most of the time i was (unintentionally) awake ~5 minutes before my roommate woke and I would be first in the shower (and semi-long showers) then some time getting ready, so my roommate would choose between being tired+unshowered or late for class

i was the bad roommate. then again so was he

our third roommate never showered and would have a stack of paper towels ontop of the toilet. we asked him about it once and he just said "don't worry about it". idk what was up with that.

Xaris fucked around with this message at Apr 22, 2017 around 06:35

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013

Girl you know you gotta watch your health


Oh, by the way, we aren't gonna flush after peeing cause hydro is so expensive in this apartment. Hope this helps

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006


Jacking In
Jacking Out


Mameluke posted:

Oh, by the way, we aren't gonna flush after peeing cause hydro is so expensive in this apartment. Hope this helps
that's perfectly fine, tho mostly for conservation (like we're drought-prone here in ca) and not for loving pinching a few pennies over water.

if its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009



Pillbug

Xaris posted:

I did that sometimes but our hotwater at the transfer dorms sucked so it was easy to do. usually came back relatively quick

most of the time i was (unintentionally) awake ~5 minutes before my roommate woke and I would be first in the shower (and semi-long showers) then some time getting ready, so my roommate would choose between being tired+unshowered or late for class

i was the bad roommate. then again so was he

our third roommate never showered and would have a stack of paper towels ontop of the toilet. we asked him about it once and he just said "don't worry about it". idk what was up with that.

I more meant at night, when I lived with roomies I mostly showered before bed to avoid the morning rush and it was never a problem until I had one that was like some sort of shower ninja and he'd always hop in right as I was thinking of taking a shower and then stay in for an hour until the water was luke warm at best. We did have a lovely water heater tho.

I also had a roommate that would spend a half hour in the shower every morning when we were all getting ready, I didn't even need the shower cause I took mine at night but I had to hold in my morning piss every goddamn morning. I swear he just burst out of his room whenever my alarm went off cause I could never beat him to the bathroom regardless of the time I set, like I couldn't just roll things back 5 minutes to take a leak he'd be in there regardless.

poopnanners
May 3, 2016

hey guys lets party


Whistles while pooping

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



ArbitraryC posted:

I more meant at night, when I lived with roomies I mostly showered before bed to avoid the morning rush and it was never a problem until I had one that was like some sort of shower ninja and he'd always hop in right as I was thinking of taking a shower and then stay in for an hour until the water was luke warm at best. We did have a lovely water heater tho.

I also had a roommate that would spend a half hour in the shower every morning when we were all getting ready, I didn't even need the shower cause I took mine at night but I had to hold in my morning piss every goddamn morning. I swear he just burst out of his room whenever my alarm went off cause I could never beat him to the bathroom regardless of the time I set, like I couldn't just roll things back 5 minutes to take a leak he'd be in there regardless.

maybe hes a poltergeist evoked by ur crippling fomo

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008

Silent Majority
The Enforcer


Grimey Drawer

one time i heard buzzing so i knew my roommate was using my electric shaver cause he didn't have one (he kept the shower running to cover the noise but if anything it amplified it) and when I went in after there was a big poof of pubes in the trash. I told him I knew he used my razor to shave his pubes because the audial-visual evidence was pretty clear cut and he admitted he did it because he was mad at me because I made fun of how he never turns right at red lights when I was riding in his car. He was really proud of his cars and driving cars and he was a 5'2 puerto rican dude

I still used the shaver after that

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008

Silent Majority
The Enforcer


Grimey Drawer

it was a lot of pubes though i think it was the first time that kid trimmed his junk to spite me for driving style mockery

Aesop Poprock fucked around with this message at Apr 22, 2017 around 08:24

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Unnnnngh


College Slice

I'm so glad I've only ever had two friends and my brothers as roomies before I starting just living on my own. Worst I dealt with was the occasional drunken argument over dumb poo poo that didn't matter the next day or a case of "Hey dude you puked in the bathroom sink/tub/shower you know you gotta clean that up, right?"

Aesop Poprock posted:

it was a lot of pubes though i think it was the first guy that kid trimmed his junk to spite me for driving style mockery

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008

Silent Majority
The Enforcer


Grimey Drawer


time. time not guy

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Unnnnngh


College Slice

Aesop Poprock posted:

time. time not guy

Either way dude there's no part of that story that's not insane and that's why it's funny.

"This fuckin' guy, how dare he criticize my driving? You know what'll show that son of a bitch? Shaving my pubes with his electric shaver. Heh, owned."

Also the sad part is that he's kinda right, but also insane.

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Fox Cunning
Jun 21, 2006

salt-induced orgasm in the mouth

For some reason spills lemon scented olive oil in the toilet bowl and the floor. The toilet brush handle is also covered completely in oil and there is some in the bath tub. Goes on to track oil all over the apartment with oil soaked socks on the way to watch Pumping Iron in my room. The room is covered in posters of muscle men.

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