best pinball skillshots

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posting smiling

on the 1981 table of mice and men, after you've dropped all the dog targets and lit the g, u, and n lights, you can access the upper playfield where the large plastic lenny head can be hit repeatedly for 50,000,000 points, which has to be one of the best pinball skillshots.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 11:31

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 23:11

Rigged Death Trap: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

In the midlife marital mayhem table if you manage to clear the divorce lawyer bit by perfectly hitting all the targets within 30 seconds you can cancel the periodic alimony score penalty that normally plagues the latter part of any skilled game.

Otherwise youd have to keep hitting the whiskey sours targets way in the back to counteract them.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 12:34

Manifisto

on the classic film noir table, it is a huge challenge to squeeze your ball by the femme fatale without being led down the wrong path (the one involving easy money). however, it doesn't really matter, in the end your ball will be done in by some internal flaw.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 15:01

i am he

posting smiling posted:

on the 1981 table of mice and men, after you've dropped all the dog targets and lit the g, u, and n lights, you can access the upper playfield where the large plastic lenny head can be hit repeatedly for 50,000,000 points, which has to be one of the best pinball skillshots.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:11

i am he

if you successfully lit up all 4 of the "draw and quarter" lights on the 1995 braveheart tie-in table an animatronic mel gibson would crawl out from under the machine hand you a copy of the protocols of the elders of zion

# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:18

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

while it is quite tasteless, the columbine shooting pinball machine has some amazing ones. it feels immensely satisfying to hit the four consecutive targets for a 250,000,000 point bonus

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:32

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

The world's smallest pinball machine uses an atom for the pinball and the flippers are electron guns that ionize the "pinball" and shoot it into another dimension. You'll have to take my word for it, though because Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle won't let you know where the pinball is, the sweet sounds of bonus points piling up will be your only hint. Tilting the machine however can open up an Einstein-Rosen bridge to a time and place just before you started playing it which is of course a paradox and your existence will be erased. Good luck registering the highscore after THAT!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Apr 22, 2017 19:05

posting smiling

i am he posted:

if you successfully lit up all 4 of the "draw and quarter" lights on the 1995 braveheart tie-in table an animatronic mel gibson would crawl out from under the machine hand you a copy of the protocols of the elders of zion

# ? Apr 22, 2017 19:14

posting smiling

Manifisto posted:

on the classic film noir table, it is a huge challenge to squeeze your ball by the femme fatale without being led down the wrong path (the one involving easy money). however, it doesn't really matter, in the end your ball will be done in by some internal flaw.

lol

# ? Apr 22, 2017 19:16

i am he

Manifisto posted:

on the classic film noir table, it is a huge challenge to squeeze your ball by the femme fatale without being led down the wrong path (the one involving easy money). however, it doesn't really matter, in the end your ball will be done in by some internal flaw.

haha

# ? Apr 22, 2017 19:21

cda: by Hand Knit

On the Cinderella table it's really hard to hit Cinderella because she keeps running away from the ball

# ? Apr 22, 2017 19:37

City of Glompton

minecraft table version 1.1 is a real challenge because the ball is square and all the updates come from Microsoft. the built in twitch streaming is nice, though.

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Apr 22, 2017 20:28

Scaly Haylie

cda posted:

On the Cinderella table it's really hard to hit Cinderella because she keeps running away from the ball

# ? Apr 22, 2017 20:53

posting smiling

cda posted:

On the Cinderella table it's really hard to hit Cinderella because she keeps running away from the ball

# ? Apr 22, 2017 20:57

posting smiling

on a clockwork orange, after looping each of the 4 violent crime ramp shots, players can activate the "ludovico multiball", a hectic 5 ball mode during which alex's eyes open at the top of the table, and can be bombarded while clips of malcolm mcdowell screaming play in the background.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 21:00

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

it was a really cool idea to have the big bonus in the 'the shining' pinball table activate a really authentic looking river of blood flowing from the elevator doors but in actuality the red liquid makes it really hard to play afterwards and sometimes it causes the electronics to short circuit

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Apr 22, 2017 21:07

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

the hatsune miku pinball table was a weird license but surprisingly authentic with lots of cool music and neat features, the choice to have the multiball bonus be awarded for shooting a ball up her skirt made many people uncomfortable though and it was quickly discontinued

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Apr 22, 2017 21:10

Plebian Parasite

You can rack up bookoo points in the Slaughterhouse 5 machine by getting your ball stuck above the melted bell bumper. (Warning: getting unstuck causes your ball to jump around and makes things hard to understand.)

# ? Apr 22, 2017 21:53

FactsAreUseless

The What's In The Box spinner gets you 7,777 points a spin, and charges the Win By A Head jackpot.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:22

alnilam

Manifisto posted:

on the classic film noir table, it is a huge challenge to squeeze your ball by the femme fatale without being led down the wrong path (the one involving easy money). however, it doesn't really matter, in the end your ball will be done in by some internal flaw.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:30

alnilam

the Children of Men table is largely grey and featureless and bleak. nevertheless when you hit all 3 brexhill targets, you can rack up a 8bil point bonus by keeping the ball alive for 5 minutes straight

# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:34

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Sartre's Four Player "No Exit" pinball machine awards you a free game when you come to the conclusion that hell is Players 1, 2 and 3

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:40

cda: by Hand Knit

It's funny to imagine pinball games based on unlikely books or movies, until you start to imagine a pinball table based on Birth of a Nation or the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Then it's not funny anymore and you get angry and wonder why despite the centrality of black artistic expression to American culture, black people and black artistic productions are underrepresented in pinball properties. But nothing's going to change unless you take a stand so you make a Harriet Tubman pinball game where you help the balls escape and one day you see a little black girl playing it and she goes on to become President and you're invited to the oval office where she gives you 8 million points and an extra ball, because nurturing the next generation of transformative leaders is truly the most skillful shot of all.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:43

FactsAreUseless

cda posted:

It's funny to imagine pinball games based on unlikely books or movies, until you start to imagine a pinball table based on Birth of a Nation or the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Then it's not funny anymore and you get angry and wonder why despite the centrality of black artistic expression to American culture, black people and black artistic productions are underrepresented in pinball properties. But nothing's going to change unless you take a stand so you make a Harriet Tubman pinball game where you help the balls escape and one day you see a little black girl playing it and she goes on to become President and you're invited to the oval office where she gives you 8 million points and an extra ball, because nurturing the next generation of transformative leaders is truly the most skillful shot of all.

[extremely tinny synthesized voice] Ball Locked At Last, Ball Locked At Last, Thank God In Heaven, Ball Locked At Last

# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:53

FactsAreUseless

Birmingham Jail Lit

# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:53

FactsAreUseless

Million Man Multiball! Shoot the lit ramps for BIG RIGHTS

# ? Apr 23, 2017 00:00

FactsAreUseless

Ugh, this table loving sucks. It's so unfair. The gutters are huge. It's like black people can't even -- ooooooooohhhhhhhhh.

# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:59

alnilam

lol

# ? Apr 23, 2017 02:00

Impkins Patootie

i played the new 2016 themed pinball machine down at the boardwalk arcade and got asked to leave after setting off the slam tilt 5 times in a row

# ? Apr 23, 2017 02:00

Plebian Parasite

Each time you hit the snoo's antenna bumper it moves the clock hand forward one hour; once it hits midnight, spell out N A R W H A L and send the ball down the bacon slide to activate the 8x updoot multiplier! With points like those you'll be hosting the Pinball Wizard AMA in no time!

# ? Apr 23, 2017 03:58

vanisher

cda posted:

It's funny to imagine pinball games based on unlikely books or movies, until you start to imagine a pinball table based on Birth of a Nation or the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Then it's not funny anymore and you get angry and wonder why despite the centrality of black artistic expression to American culture, black people and black artistic productions are underrepresented in pinball properties. But nothing's going to change unless you take a stand so you make a Harriet Tubman pinball game where you help the balls escape and one day you see a little black girl playing it and she goes on to become President and you're invited to the oval office where she gives you 8 million points and an extra ball, because nurturing the next generation of transformative leaders is truly the most skillful shot of all.

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Apr 23, 2017 04:56

Impkins Patootie

vanisher posted:

yea but the Dirty Harry ball machine was

# ? Apr 23, 2017 05:49

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

Plebian Parasite posted:

Each time you hit the snoo's antenna bumper it moves the clock hand forward one hour; once it hits midnight, spell out N A R W H A L and send the ball down the bacon slide to activate the 8x updoot multiplier! With points like those you'll be hosting the Pinball Wizard AMA in no time!

you get massive point bonuses if you manage to hit the "defend pedophillia" and "race realism" buttons but be prepared to hit the "free speech defense" tunnel, it's a tricky shot but pretty consistent once you get it down

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Apr 23, 2017 07:45

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SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.

The extremely unpopular 1983 WarGames pinball machine includes a warning that "The only winning move is not to play." This is correct; the flippers are wired to the building mains, and even inserting a quarter is enough to trigger a massive electrical fire likely to kill everyone inside.

# ? Apr 23, 2017 08:47

Ein cooler Typ: by FactsAreUseless

on the street fighter 2 pinball machine if you unlock multiball you can choose not to launch the second ball and just play multiball with one ball and rack up high scores

I had the high score on the one at the arcade but the other players knew i hadn't done it honestly so I got no glory

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Apr 23, 2017 11:16

Ein cooler Typ: by FactsAreUseless

o i didn't read the whole topic I didn't know we were supposed to do jokes

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Apr 23, 2017 11:17

Ace of Baes

on the punch drunk love pinball machine if you arc a shot off the left side of adam sandlers head you can get the ball stuck between the 1-900 phone and the mini-sandler (crying) and rack up a sh*tload of points

# ? Apr 23, 2017 11:26

Ace of Baes

if you tilt the lady ghostbusters machine it automatically starts trying to start dogpiles on you on twitter tl

# ? Apr 23, 2017 11:28

Ace of Baes

if you go over 999,999,999 points on the Wendy's machine a pixelated picture of Wendy flipping you the bird pops up

# ? Apr 23, 2017 11:29

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 23:11

alnilam

*tinny voices from machine*
Many men have tried the skillshot haderach

Tried and failed?

Tried and died!

# ? Apr 23, 2017 16:53

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