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*constantly relieved that a 24-pack of toilet paper lasts for weeks at a time* *takes shirt off*
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Apr 24, 2017 14:58
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:42 |
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*nephew never visits anymore because carpenter bees have taken over the garage porch. Hopes he never gets over his bee fear so you can finally take down the swing set that you're tired of mowing around*
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Apr 24, 2017 15:01
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*plans jack-off sesh days ahead*
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Apr 24, 2017 20:43
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*Can't find anybody who wants him & is extremely lonely. Protestant upbringing keeps him from committing suicide or falling too far into alcoholism, because what if Hell is actually real?*
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Apr 25, 2017 03:30
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*bead of sweat slides down forehead while parents interact with your new girlfriend, who just moved in with you. They joke about actually getting some grandkids someday.* *girlfriend is actually trans*
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Apr 25, 2017 14:39
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Pick posted:*is less able to provide comfort to a woman than a 10 lb pointy eating and fighting machine that licks its own rear end in a top hat and needs a special box for pooping* *checks notes* Actually, yeah.
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Apr 25, 2017 19:51
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*cleans the house to Nu-Disco*
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Apr 26, 2017 03:27
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*Can cook incredibly well and competently, but would actually eat pizza rolls seven days a week if the opportunity presented itself*
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Apr 26, 2017 15:17
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:42 |
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Elsa posted:*thinks he cooks incredibly well and competently, but actually eats pizza rolls whenever the opportunity presents itself* 
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Apr 26, 2017 15:33
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