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Natural 20
Sep 17, 2007

So long, Ex-Ma Fergie!


Doc Morbid posted:

I wasn't on SA yet at that point, but this tended to be the sentiment in quite a few places and even back then I thought it was dumb. I didn't exactly dislike Kennedy (yet) but thought he should be an upper midcarder/occasional main event guy at best.

It's because he was the first new guy in a /long/ time who could talk worth a drat.

He came in around the same time as MVP who was also excellent at shittalking and things looked really good for the two of them while they were on Smackdown. Then Kennedy got injured, MVP got given a losing streak gimmick that destroyed him and the dream was dead.

Well, until CM Punk finally turned heel more than two years later.

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oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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#4: Wrestlemania 24. March 30, 2008 in Orlando, Florida.

Participants: John Morrison (with one half of the WWE Tag Team Championship), Carlito (with an Apple), "The Gold Standard" Shelton Benjamin (RIP), CM Punk (RIP), Kennedy (KENNEDY) (RIP), MVP (with Entrance Tunnel) (with the US Championship), Chris Jericho (with the Intercontinental Championship).

Commentators: Jim "JR" Ross (with still living wife) (Raw), Jerry "The King" Lawler (Raw), Jonathan "The Coach" Coachman (Smackdown), Michael Cole (Smackdown), Tazz (ECW), Joey Styles (ECW).

There are 7 (seven) men in this matchup and yes, JR explained the rules during the introductions. This is at least the 2nd time for 4 men and Kennedy is the only previous winner. This is also before Jericho got his pectus excavatum. I would be remiss if I didn't complain about 3 of the titles not being defended on the show because the title holders are competing in this match. Need I remind you that THERE ARE NO RULES in this match. Coach is a terrible terrible commentator but at least he never seems to talk during this match.

Bell rings and everyone dives outside to try and grab a ladder except for MVP who stays in the ring and keeps watch (tick tock IM COMIN). John Morrison, who I keep wanting to call Johnny Nitro, slides a small ladder in but gets kicked in the loving face and sent outside. Same happens to CM Punk. Ditto for Kennedy. Shelton. Carlito. While MVP celebrates, Jericho sneaks in with a regular ladder and takes MVP out who rolls the the outside. Nitro, which is the name I'm going to use for Morrison, slides in behind Jericho's back and tosses a ladder at Jericho when he turns around. During all this, everyone has congregated to a spot outside the ring and Nitro climbs the top turnbuckle and moonsaults out onto them while holding the ladder!! EVERYONE IS DOWN.

Everyone but Kennedy, that is. Kennedy SUAL but before he can ACI Jericho attacks and tries the Walls of Jericho. He instead catapults Kennedy into the ladder but Kennedy adapts and begins climbing it in a nice fluid transition. Which reminds me, I need some transmission fluid. Kennedy has his hands on the case and beats off Jericho (heh) when he climbs up. Nitro has a ladder vertical while he stands on the turnbuckle and rides it to Kennedys ladder. At the same time he jumps onto Kennedy's ladder he pushes the ladder he's riding into Jericho's head, knocking him down. Nice.

Nitro and Kennedy slug it out atop the ladder. Benjamin SUALACI right next to them and all three exchange punches. They hit a Tower of Doom. If you don't know what is, imagine Kennedy is trying to suplex Nitro up and over the ladder. While he does that, Shelton hops over and somersaults down the ladder while grabbing Kennedy by the hips to sunset-flip powerbomb him. So Shelton powerbombs Kennedy off the ladder which in turn brings Nitro over in the suplex. It's always a cool looking spot imo.

Shelton is hurt the least so he climbs up but Carlito tips it over. However, Shelton balances on the top rope. Like the Undertaker's Old-School but he's also holding a ladder. He pushes it back into Carlito's head and then jumps from the rope to the ladder. The spot gets botched and Shelton takes an ugly ugly fall. Punk SUALACI but gets stopped by Kennedy. He fights off Kennedy and gets jumped by Shelton. Shelton tries to climb but Punk pulls him off and catches him in midair and hits the GTS. Kennedy attacks and hits a Pittsburgh Plunge on a ladder. Carlito is climbing and almost at the top but MVP runs up the other side and knocks him off.

MVP goes for the Yakuza Kick on Carlito in the corner but he dodges leaving MVP caught with his foot draped on the turnbuckle. Carlito grabs a ladder and takes out MVP's knee from behind, drawing an "OOHHHH" from the crowd. All alone, Carlito ascends but Shelton cuts him off. They battle and Shelton hits the Dragon Whip. Shelton climbs and is up top when Kennedy and Carlito both grab the bottom of the ladder and ever so slowly tip it over, letting the moment stretch out and its just great. Shelton crashes through a ladder draped between the ring and barricade and he is dead. Carlito has a semi-horrified look on his face while Kennedy doesn't seem to give a poo poo.

They both climb up the same side of the ladder while Jericho climbs up the other side. Jericho seems closest to the case which makes sense. He not only came up with the concept and was in the first one, he also has prior ladder match experience. He was in a really good ladder match at Royal Rumble 2001 with Chris Benoit who murdered his wife and child and then killed himself in 2007. MVP runs in and pushes the ladder over spilling all 3 (three) men to the ground and outside the ring. Funny moment as the camera is zoomed in on MVP and he turns around and a ladder just flies in from off-screen smacking him in the face. The culprit turns out to be Johnny Nitro.

Nitro SUALACI but Jericho has recovered and climbs up behind him. He manages to apply the Walls while on top of the ladder so Nitro is bent over the top facing the sky. It's not really the Walls but its what the commentary team calls it so I will too. Kennedy SUALACI right next to them. RIght after I type that whole sentence Lawler calls it the Liontamer which I don't think it was ever called in WWE. Except for this instance of Lawler calling it the Liontamer during this match. Jericho releases Nitro who tumbles down and turns his attention to Kennedy. Camera is at an angle where we can see Kennedy's body shot doesn't even come close to connecting.

Punk and Carlito springboard from the top rope to the ladders in a cool visual. So its Punk/Jericho on one side of the ladder and Carlito/Kennedy on the other. Kennedy hits a Flatliner on Punk from the top and Jericho pushes off Carlito who lands on his feet and runs around and hits a Backstabber from the top of the ladder. The Ultimate Backstabber. A Wrestlemania Backstabber according to JR but he says it with this weird cadence. EVERYONE IS DOWN.

Everyone but MVP, that is. MVP looks around happily at the fact EVERYONE IS DOWN and climbs up. Then, to a HUGE reaction, Matt Hardy runs out of the crowd! He Twists of Fate MVP off the ladder! IIRC, this was the time Matt was a face and MVP was a heel but they had a relationship going where they didn't really like each other but tagged sometimes for some reason. MVP was profess his friendship for Matt but both he and the audience knew it was fake. So finally MVP takes out Matt with a knee injury late in 2007 so this is the first time we've seen Matt in like 4 or 5 months. I'm sure Aphrodite will be more than happy to point out any mistakes Ive made in that little recap. Really good moment for Matt and the crowd loves it and gives him a standing ovation as he leaves.

Jericho manages to grab a ladder and hits some people. Then he jams the ladder between the rungs of a ladder set up in the corner so imagine two ladders forming a "V. Jericho manages to flapjack Carlito onto the ladder in the middle of the ring so now the "V" shifts over and the ladder in the corner is now vertical and Carlito is laying on the lower ladder steadying it. Morrison runs straight up the vertical ladder drawing appreciative OOHs from the crowd. Carlito and Jericho lift up the ladder on the ground, shifting the "V" back and throwing off Morrison who gets crotches on the rope and also beaning CM Punk in the head who had wandered over into the corner. I hope that all makes sense because its a really cool sequence.

Jericho disentangles the ladders and SUALACI. Carlito climbs up and spits apple in his eye. Carlito, for those who don't know, had a gimmick where he was REALLY COOL. In fact, his theme music, which was only like 20 seconds long so it looped over and over on entrances like this match where there was a long ramp to walk down, started off with him saying he spit in the faces of people who don't want to be cool. Which was weird, because wouldn't everyone WANT to be cool? I mean, the argument could be made that someone wasn't actually cool and thus deserved to have apple spat at them but he specifically says people who don't want to be cool. LIke given the choice, they would refuse to be cool. Needless to say, pretty much every conversation Carlito had with anyone ended with him spitting apple in their faces. In fact, his original name was Carlito Caribbean Cool, he was just that cool. I remember in a backstage skit, Carlito had a petition on a clipboard to get Teddy Long fired form his position as GM and was talking to Batista about it. Batista declined to sign it so Carlito nods and takes a big bite of his apple and then there's a long pause as they stare at each other. Batista threatens to shove the clipboard up Carlito's rear end if he spits that apple so Carlito just swallows it. He wasn't that crude about it but that was definitely the point he was making. Batista rules.

BATISTA RULES


Anyway, Carlito has almost got the case until Kennedy pushes him off onto the ladder still set up in the corner. Then Punk uses a ladder like a battering ram and knocks Kennedy off THEN Jericho gives Punk a Codebreaker while Punk is still holding the ladder. Jericho almost has the case but Punk scraps his way back up and they fight. The case is swinging back and forth. Jericho headbutts Punk down but Punk pulls Jericho's leg through a rung trapping Jericho. Punk climbs up and claims the case. Your winner: CM Punk.

Punk was on the ECW brand at this time and would be traded over to Raw in June. On a Raw soon after, Punk cashed in on Edge after he got his rear end whipped by Batista (Batista rules). A few months later, Punk was in a Championship Scramble match to defend but was taken out backstage before the match and forfeited the title. He wasn't actually hurt or anything that I recall so I'm not sure why it went down like that. Punk and the WWE enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship to this day.

This was a really good match. Inventive and visually interesting spots, surprise returns and a face winning all add up to an enjoyable match. The only knock I can think of was the botch on Shelton's jump onto the ladder and there was the old problem of a guy at the top of the ladder having to pretend he can't just unhook the case while waiting for the nest guy. This was especially noticeable with MVP having to wait for the Matt Hardy appearance. But still, good poo poo.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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https://i.imgur.com/7TSSwxS.gif

I don't know why imgur had a good upload method and decided they needed to gently caress it all up but the link is the tower of doom spot

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Punk carrying the briefcase around eying up potential champions to cash in on (including Maryse!) was great.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



If I remember right Jeff Hardy was supposed to be in the match but was suspended like a week before Mania. He was supposed to win MITB and not Punk.

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005


KungFu Grip posted:

If I remember right Jeff Hardy was supposed to be in the match but was suspended like a week before Mania. He was supposed to win MITB and not Punk.

Thank you Jeff!

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006



oldpainless posted:

I'm sure Aphrodite will be more than happy to point out any mistakes Ive made in that little recap.

Actually my knowledge is exclusively on the backstage politics of Mr. Kennedy.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


Yorkshire Tea posted:

It's because he was the first new guy in a /long/ time who could talk worth a drat.

He was popular on the Internet while on Smackdown, but on Raw was badly exposed and got caught lying about the pharmacy scandal they had at about that time. Between that and injuries, all his planned pushes were murdered in the crib.

Randy still got a bit of heat with Internet posters for really obviously being the one to get him fired.

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



Fun Shoe

oldpainless posted:

BATISTA RULES
agreed, friend

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Hello friends sorry I broke my update promise after only 4 posts but I should have one up tomorrow don't stop believing in me and I'm very sorry but I'm going through 3 divorces right now

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



one more good excuse is required before you are let off the hook. I suggest "accidentally did it right in my pants even though i didnt mean to do that. i'm talking about the bathroom action"

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005


oldpainless posted:

Hello friends sorry I broke my update promise after only 4 posts but I should have one up tomorrow don't stop believing in me and I'm very sorry but I'm going through 3 divorces right now

More like oldwifeless

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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#5. Wrestlemania 25. April 5, 2009 in Houston, Texas.

Participants: CM Punk, Mark Henry (with Tony Atlas), MVP (with US Championship) (without Entrance Tunnel), Finlay (with Hornswoggle) (with shillelagh) (with weird cheap Demolition jacket knockoff), Shelton Benjamin (with "The Gold Standard" moniker), Kofi Kingston (with fake Jamaican accent), Christian, Kane.

Announcers: Michael Cole (Smackdown) Jerry "The King Lawler" (Raw) Jim "JR" Ross (Raw)

Justin Roberts explains the rules to us before the entrants come out. This is, of course, the 25th Anniversary of Wrestlemania and our commentators are dressed to the nines. 6 of our 8 contestants have previous MITB experience but Punk is the only one who has won before. 4 of our 8 contestants are black. Michael Cole explains the rules to us during Kane's long walk down the ramp. Cutting down the number of announcers was probably a good move as too many people just tend to talk over each other and get in the way. Jim Ross explains the rules to us after Kane gets in the ring but before the bell rings. The bell rings.

For those curious the briefcase is 20 feet above the ring and we start off with a big brawl. The ring clears and we are left with Kane and Mark Henry. Mark slowly kicks Kane. Mark slowly punches Kane in the corner. Mark slowly whips Kane to the other corner and quickly slowly splashes Kane. He celebrates his dominance but Shelton and Christian each grab one end of a ladder to take him and Kane down. They try to run Kofi down but he leapfrogs over and dropkicks the ladder back into their faces! With Christian and The Gold Standard down and with the ladder laying across both of them, Kofi hits the Boom Drop. THE CONTROLLED FRENZY OF KOFI KINGSTON leads to Kofi now having a limp.

Kofi SUALACI but Finlay tosses him out of the ring and then takes a big boot from the Big Red Machine. Kane and Mark both climb the ladder but get swarmed by the other wrestlers. Kane gets dumped. Mark gets dumped. Two ladders are set up and Shelton, Finlay, Punk, MVP and Kofi are all fighting on top. Punk is straddling two ladders up there. Kane and Mark recover and push the ladders aside sending everyone flying. JR makes a biblical reference to parting the Red Sea. Kane knocks Mark out of the ring and disposes of one ladder. JR calls the ladder a "ring."

Kane ascends but Mark comes in and pushes it over hotshotting Kane on the top rope. He tosses a ladder at Finlay but misses and the ladder flies to the outside and comes pretty close to hitting the announce table which would automatically make this the best MITB match. Finlay manages to take Mark down and then suicide dives out onto Kane and Shelton. Captain Charisma hits a springboard splash onto them. Then MVP hits a Ballin Somersault onto them. THEN Kofi and Punk hit stereo suicide dives onto them. Everyone is down.

Everyone but Shelton Benjamin, that is. Shelton is on the penultimate rung of a 15 foot ladder and swantons out onto the crowd but somehow the only person who seems to catch him is Kofi and maybe Punk. Everyone else does kind of a bowling pin thing where they get knocked over for no real good reason. Perhaps you've noticed Mark Henry has been absent. Well perhaps you should shut the gently caress up and Ill tell you what he's doing. He's climbing onto the top turnbuckle to dive out onto everyone else and the crowd starts buzzing. But Finlay ruins the fun by walloping Mark with the Shillelagh so he is draped over the turnbuckle and then knocking Tony Atlas off the apron when he protests. The crowd is not happy with Finlay.

Hornswoggle runs in and sets up a stepladder in the corner by Mark Henry. Finlay helps Hornswoggle climb up and onto Henry's back and then hits a Tadpole Splash taking out everyone in a funny visual the crowd enjoys. And me too. Finlay hits Mark with the stepladder in the loving face and Mark falls to the floor. Finlay is all alone so he SUALACI but stops to beat down Kofi. Hornswoggle is referred to as Finlay's son. Cool spot as Finlay is between the legs of the ladder and Kofi jumps up and through the legs to dropkick Finlay. Then Kofi reaches behind and pulls the ladder down onto Finlay's head. Kofi tries to splash Finlay but gets caught by the stepladder right in the stomach.

Punk enters the fray but takes a Pittsburgh Plunge on the stepladder and Finlay really gets some mileage out of that stepladder by knocking Christian and Kane down off the apron as well. Finlay climbs but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and knocks Finlay off the ladder. Finlay is good in these matches but where he really shines is good old fashioned hard hitting mat wrestling. He comes across as a grandpa who could really kick rear end in a bar fight. He's had some classic battles with Chris Benoit, who murdered his wife and child and then killed himself in a terrible act where everyone a few days later kind of said "yeah its not THAT surprising though"

Finlay is down and Kofi takes advantage both sexually and by climbing the ladder. Mark stops that pretty quick and headbutts Kofi down. Mark is holding the ladder vertical under the briefcase but hasn't actually spread the legs (heh) so Kofi just climbs up the ladder while Mark holds it and almost gets the briefcase. Really cool spot and gets a pop from the crowd. Mark pushes the ladder down and Kofi falls into his arms and takes a Worlds Strongest Slam on the ladder.

MVP attacks with a ladder and then jams it sideways so the ladder is draped across the top rope and the other end pushed into the rungs of the standing ladder. MVP beats down Mark but then he and Shelton get it on. MVP tries to suplex Shelton onto the ladder but Shelton lands on his feet and goes for a neckbreaker. MVP counters THAT and pushes Shelton into the draped ladder but Shelton COUNTERS THAT and slides under. He goes for a hurricanrana jumping off the ladder but MVP turns it into a powerbomb.

MVP is almost at the top but Punk cuts him off and Christina pulls him down and takes him out. Punk and Christian fight standing on the horizontal ladder and after some counters, including Punk going for a GTS, Christian hits The Unprettier off the ladder onto the mat and both men are motionless. MVP starts to climb. At some point, a ladder on the outside was jammed into the horizontal ladder. So Shelton runs up the vertical ladder on the outside, runs across the horizontal ladder and then up the ladder in the middle of the ring and attacks MVP. Shelton goes for the sunset flip powerbomb but something Foochs up and it ends badly. I think MVP didn't time letting it go right so it just LOOKS BAD.

There was a spot planned for that powerbomb though so BY GOD they are gonna do it until they get it right. They slug it out and Benjamin powerbombs MVP over the top rope onto Kofi, Mark and Tony Atlas. It looks like Tony hits the back of his head on a ladder when they fall down, like he was out of position. You'd think an Atlas would never be lost.

Shelton and Finlay both climb and Shelton just slugs Finlay down and he crashes onto the horizontal ladder. Looks painful. Shelton and Christian have two ladders side by side and are at the top.They shift their weight and the ladder topples to the side and Shelton spills out over the top rope. Christian, however, balances on the rope and pushes himself back over so he stands alone on the ladder within easy grasp of the case. The crowd goes insane cheering for him.

That piece of poo poo Punk springboards on the ladder and tries to persecute an innocent Christian but gets knocked down and gets his foot caught in the ladder, just like how that happening to Jericho last year allowed Punk to win. Kane comes back and hits a lovely chokeslam taking Christian down. Christian bleeding somewhat heavily from the nose. Punk untangles himself and gets goozled by Kane. Punk kicks Kane down off the ladder and grabs the case. Your winner: CM Punk.

Punk becomes the first person to win two MITB matches and the only person to win back to back. Punk would cash in on Jeff Hardy at the end of the Extreme Rules PPV who had just won a ladder match against Edge. This led to Punks heel turn where he noted the crowd cheered him doing exactly this last year against a heel but now boos him when he does it against a face. This was also the feud where Jeff left shortly after and was arrested for having all the drugs in the world.

Another solid match but for some reason felt less exciting. Maybe at this point the MITB concept was becoming somewhat routine or I'm watching too many in too short a period but there's a definitely something lacking. This is not to say that the matches are not worth fun to watch. Kane and Mark were in there as props mainly for the smaller guys to use and Kane seemed like a non entity for much of the match. With Kofi and Shelton in there there were some cool displays of athleticism and Finlay again is entertaining the whole time without looking like a star or overshadowing anything. Mostly though I didn't notice any spot where the person on the ladder had to move in super slow motion waiting on someone else and this can safely be attributed to the fact Chris Jericho was not in this match.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mzQM82apB...s1600/mitb2.gif

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


quote:

This was also the feud where Jeff left shortly after and was arrested for having all the drugs in the world.

PS how is Jeff even a free man right now. The news reports described like thousands of pills just kind of everywhere in his house.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



dont even fink about it posted:

PS how is Jeff even a free man right now. The news reports described like thousands of pills just kind of everywhere in his house.

He's a rich white guy who got busted in North Carolina

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Also it's usually intent to distribute which really gets you and since Jeff's only intent was to distribute them into his own mouth that was off the table.

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005


oldpainless posted:

but something Foochs up and it ends badly

Happens every time Foochs is involved!

quote:

You'd think an Atlas would never be lost.

Boooooooooo

quote:

this can safely be attributed to the fact Chris Jericho was not in this match.

How DARE you?!?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


That World's Strongest Slam spot where Mark Henry caught Kofi falling out of the sky was loving amazing.

Not quite as amazing as Punk's feud with Jeff Hardy following his cash-in, but still pretty loving amazing.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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They can't all be homeruns, friend

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005


Oh no, I liked it. But still, boooooo for that pun

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!



Lipstick Apathy

Jerusalem posted:

That World's Strongest Slam spot where Mark Henry caught Kofi falling out of the sky was loving amazing.

Not quite as amazing as Punk's feud with Jeff Hardy following his cash-in, but still pretty loving amazing.

That was one of the best spots ever. Up there with Angle throwing Shane through the glass at KOTR 2001.

I'd also include Taker throwing Foley through the cell but now I look back on that one and it just makes me cringe when I see the shape Foley is in now.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This post brought to you by RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS.
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That's right my friends. My update schedule gets worse and worse but it still continues and we are all still here and there are many, many MANY more matches to recap and lets face it my death will surely happen before I get through all of them.

#6. WrestleMania 26.March 28, 2010 in Phoenix, Arizona.

Participants: Kofi Kingston (with fake Jamaican accent) (with controlled frenzy), MVP, Evan Bourne (with fake weed), Jack Swagger (with Kurt Angle's clothes), "The Gold Standard" Shelton Benjamin, Matt Hardy, Dolph Ziggler (with the eternal hatred of PSP), "The Chosen One" Drew McIntyre (with the Intercontinental Championship), Kane (with a black eye), Christian (with peeps).

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, Matt Striker.

10 (ten) men in the match this time making this our biggest MITB match yet. Shelton has been in every single MITB match and has won 0 (zero) of them. Cole mentions this is the 3rd (third) time MVP has been in this match but the closed captions reads as 1st (first) time. I'm not joking about Swagger's apparel either, it literally looks like he just got an XL version of Kurt's hoodie and ring gear. Cole says that Matt Hardy is perhaps the innovator of the ladder match which I can't even begin to understand. Striker mentions that Ziggler has the most sinister of minds of anyone in this match which is strange considering another contestant is Kane but Striker is prone to hyperbole, or to be less polite, stupid bullshit. As Kane comes down, Striker mentions that he is the only former World Champion in the match but I remember UT winning the RR in 07 and getting to choose which world title he wanted to go for and "The Boss" Bobby Lashley, then ECW Champion at the time, was one of the opponents he could have chosen from and since Matt Hardy, as well as Jack Swagger, as well as Christian, is a former ECW Champion I would think he would also qualify as a World Champion so either WWE isn't recognizing it as a World Title right now or Striker is flat-out wrong. BTW I'm probably going to use the phrase "Striker mentions" a bunch because he says a lot of hyperbolic sentences. The commentators talk up Christian's experience in ladder matches and I believe he actually has more ladder matches under his belt than Matt Hardy but for some reason he isn't given any credit for innovating the ladder match. I'd be remiss in saying that Savannah was the ring announcer and I don't remember her at all. I'd be even more remiss if I failed to mention that Savannah explained the rules during the introduction and Michael Cole wastes no time explaining the rules as the match starts.

The match starts and we got a brawl! Lots of slugging it out. Cole asks what kind of strategy is best to use and Striker opines that you need to clear the ring, set up a ladder and then grab the briefcase while Lawler believes its more like a battle royal, at least until you have to use a ladder, and everyone should try to "stay healthy." The Ch-Ch-Ch-Chosen One stands alone and SUALACI but Hardy pushes him down and then he and Bourne doubleteam Drew who ends up taking a Twist of Fate. MVP also hits the Yakuza Kick and sends Drew out of the ring to drive home the point that nobody likes the ScotsDrew McIntyre. Everyone runs in and tries to climb the same ladder so its a bunch of pulling someone down, trying to climb and getting pulled off which reminds of old comedy sketches like The 3 (three) Stooges.

Eventually people get cleared out and Kane chokeslams Bourne over the top rope onto MVP and Shelton. Hardy and Swagger fight atop the ladder but Kofi throws a ladder into that ladder and they tumble down. King notes that we all see how the strategy of the match changed once the ladder came into play in an attempt to justify his dumbass "strategy" from earlier. Christian whips Hardy and Swagger into the same corner and then tosses a ladder at them THEN he monkey flips Kofi into the ladder and all three men, and the ladder, are down. Christian SUALACI but Dolph runs up the ladder and hits a Zig Zag. It actually looks kind of lovely but I'm sure in concept it looked much better backstage. Dolph's hair is more white/platinum than blonde at this point. Dolph climbs but gets jerked off (heh) by MVP. Kane goes for the chokeslam on MVP but Shelton and Kofi hit him with ladders and then all three men, in a biting commentary on race relations on the United States, ram a ladder in his tum tum.

MVP and Shelton hold the ladder on Kane's stomach so its like a ramp and a chain of events needs to be described here. Kofi readies himself in the corner and begins to charge Kane as Striker mentions that Kofi is a favorite to win the match although all evidence points to the contrary. Kofi starts to run up the ladder but instead trips halfway through and falls down as Cole exclaims that this is one of the reasons why he's a favorite. Anyway, Kofi awkwardly puts himself in a hurricanrana position and Kane quickly tosses him backward onto the ladder. Kane knocks down Shelton but takes a Yakuza Kick and powders out. Shelton hits a Lie Detector (called a Paydirt) on MVP and SUALACI while Striker mentions that RAW has won the MITB match 3 out of 5 times which I choose to believe is a joke about race. Swagger rams Shelton off with a ladder and fends off Kane and MVP until Bourne hits a knee off the top rope. Swagger recovers and beats Bourne down but is standing underneath the ladder so Hardy, in an innovate maneuver, and Christian, in a trite and tired maneuver, each shove a ladder horizontally through a rung on each side and start hitting him. It looks pretty painful and about the only thing I can think of more painful would to be put in a Crippler Crossface and strangled to death which is how former WWE Champion Chris Benoit killed his son Daniel Benoit as well as his wife Nancy Benoit before committing suicide in 2007.

Christian and Matt jump onto the horizontal ladders and its Bourne again jumping up the side of the vertical ladder drawing appreciative sounds from the crowd. They fight and Swagger pushes the ladder out from under Matt sending him crashing down where it hurts inside. Christian engages the killswitch but Bourne fights out. He kicks Christian down and instead of going for the case, decides to hit Air Bourne which while impressive is not staying healthy. Bourne climbs back up but Hardy catches him and helps him get over by hiptossing him off the top of the ladder in a very cool visual. Matt goes for the case but Swagger climbs up behind him. Matt kicks him in the loving face and Im sure Swagger was supposed to push him over but instead it looks like the sheer force of Matt's loving face kick propels Hardy over the ladder and he somersaults down onto the ladder on the other side. EVERYONE IS DOWN.

Everyone but Shelton and MVP, that is. They both scamper up and slug it out. MVP falls but runs over and tries to powerbomb Shelton off the ladder and over the top rope but gets caught in the hurricanrana and both men go over. Kane re-emerges and hits people with a ladder and Cole wonders what dastardly deeds are on his mind but I'm more concerned with what sinister situations Dolph is pondering. Speak of the devils favorite demon, Ziggler catches Kane as he starts to climb and climbs over Kane to the top. Ziggler reaches bit Kane pushes the ladder over and Dolph hotshots himself. Kane waits for Dolph to get erect and tosses the ladder at him. Dolph ducks and the ladder flies over the top rope and the entire front row puts their hands up for protection but (un)luckily the ladder doesn't hit anyone. Kane chokeslams Dolph onto a ladder and then places Dolph between the legs ands starts slamming it down onto Dolph until it breaks. Kofi runs in and hits Trouble in Paradise. Kofi grabs the two halves of the broken ladder and sets them up in the corner. He then uses them like stilts and walks to the middle of the ring to the roar of the crowd and the delight of the announcers who commend Kofi on his ingenuousness even though this is plainly a bad way to try to win the match and Kofi had a ladder propped up on the top rope he could have used in 1/10th (one-tenth) of the time.

Holy poo poo Drew McIntyre, who I forgot was in this match or even existed to be honest, tosses Kofi out of the ring and SUALACI. Drew once again has to do the bit where he obviously waits to unhook the briefcase even though he clearly can while someone climbs up to stop him. That someone turns out to be Matt Hardy who is holding his back the entire time which is either good selling or a bad back. Drew fights Hardy off so Hardy pushes the ladder and Drew gets crotched on the top rope. Hardy climbs and has to pretend he cant unhook the case while Kane and Christian set up ladders and climb. Kane goozles both but they punch out and kick Kane down. Christian hits his reverse DDT that Cole calls a Twist of Fate for some reason. Striker idly wonders who will carry the WWE into the first century. Christian ascends but Swagger climbs up and pushes the briefcase into Christian's head, knocking him off and winning the match in a pretty anti-climactic fashion.

Your winner: Jumpin Jack Swagger.

Swagger would cash in 5 days later on Smackdown on suit-wearing slow-talking champion Chris Jericho and become suit-wearing slow-lisping champion Jack Swagger. This gimmick change wasn't really successful for Swagger and from what I remember he lost a bunch and looked bad lol. He would lose it to Rey Mysterio at Fatal 4-Way in a fatal 4 (four) way match in June.

Not one of the better matches. I wish Finlay was in this one. McIntyre, Bourne, and Swagger all felt like non-factors in the match and the spots seemed less inventive which has mostly to do with the frequency of these kinds of matches. To wow a crowd with these types of matches, a ladder must be used sparingly. Having a MITB match a year seems special but only if there are no TLC matches or regular ladder matches during the rest of the year. Hopefully WWE shows restraint with this type of match and learns that less is more.

Coming up: MITB gets its own PPV later that year with 2 matches on the show!

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



welcome back.

i am chanting please dont die just like i do during these matches

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


The entire time I was reading I was trying to remember who won this one, and then it was Swagger and I was like,"Oh right.... yeah. "

This was during that time period where WWE assumed that because Jericho made the slow-talking, suit wearing heel champ thing work so well that the template would fit EVERYBODY, right?

bloodysabbath
May 1, 2004

OH NO!


It is so loving odd to think Jack Swagger was the champion.

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005


RIP Swagger's Soaring Eagle

HerraS
Apr 15, 2012

Looking professional when committing genocide is essential. This is mostly achieved by using a beret.

Olive drab colour ensures the genocider will remain hidden from his prey until it's too late for them to do anything.





Swaggie had that short period as champ when his gimmick changed into 'Biff Tannen' and he was good as heck, too bad he kept getting killed by Big Slow every week




gently caress YOU BIG SLOW RETIRE ALREADY

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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MysticalMachineGun posted:

RIP Swagger's Soaring Eagle

The soaring eagle came a few months later unless you mean to just mourn the soaring eagle regardless of whether it came during his title reign in which case I agree.

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003

Get running
Start pumping your bunions, I'm coming
I'm the dumbest, who flamethrow your function to Funyons
Flame your crew quicker than Trump fucks his youngest
Now face the flame fuckers your fame and fate's done with



HerraS posted:

Swaggie had that short period as champ when his gimmick changed into 'Biff Tannen' and he was good as heck, too bad he kept getting killed by Big Slow every week




gently caress YOU BIG SLOW RETIRE ALREADY
Big Show owns, nerd

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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I want to state for the record that I wrote Shelton had been in every mitb match because i trusted the announcers but they were wrong. Shelton was not in the third one. I apologize.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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#7. Money in the Bank. July 18, 2010 in Kansas City, Missouri.

Participants: Kofi Kingston (with the Intercontinental Championship) (without fake Jamaican accent), Dolph Ziggler, Christian (with peeps), "Dashing" Cody Rhodes (with mirror), Matt Hardy, "The Chosen One" Drew McIntyre, Kane (with the search for who attacked his brother The Undertaker and put him into a vegetative state), Well Its The Big Show (with a big smile on his face).

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, Matt Striker.

Yes my friends, MITB now has its own PPV! Instead of being a once yearly spectacle to add to the grandeur of Wrestlemania, WWE must have figured more people would buy a middling summer PPV if they were promised 2 MITB matches on it and you know what they were probably right but I'm not gonna bother to look up buy rates comparing MITB to whatever the previous PPV was, probably Judgment Day or Fallback or Paydirt or something who fuckin cares. I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Tony Chimel explained the rules to us as he announced the competitors and I would be even remisser if Michael Cole didn't explain the stipulation to us about 10 (ten) seconds after Chimel finished. They must have read my recap written days ago of a match they commentated live 7 (seven) years ago because now Striker compliments Christian as being a pioneer of the ladder match when they said nothing of the sort at Wrestlemania. The announcers ponder whether Cody will sacrifice his beautiful beautiful face to win the briefcase, or the briefface to save time. This is Kofi's 3rd (third) and Matt, Kane and Christian's 4th (fourth) MITB match. Once all the contestants are in the ring, Cole decides to go over the rules one more time. This is the Smackdown match and it opens the show.

Big brawl to start off and Kane and Big Show are the targets for everyone else. Only CoRho decides to grab a ladder and start climbing while everyone is distracted. The big guys easily dispose of the little ones and then each smack the poo poo out of CoRho. With all the vanilla (and 1 (one) chocolate) midget down, the crowd gets to see what they paid for, Big Show and Kane slugging it out. PUNCH! PUNCH! SHOULDERBLOCK! As the biggest and therefore the best wrestler, Show takes control but the very first rung breaks when he steps on it and his look of frustration is pretty good. Show hits a rung in annoyance and that rung also breaks off in his hand. Show tosses it aside and shakes his head. I've always thought Show was good at character work and is one of the more personable people in-ring which is somewhat of a backhanded compliment as most of the wrestlers show a lot more charisma when they're not being constrained by the live WWE TV productions. Also Show takes every opportunity to poo poo on WWE Creative in shoot interviews so he's OK by me.

ANYWAY, Show gives up on the ladder as everyone runs in and he takes them all down with chops and headbutts and tosses a ladder over the rope at Kane. He gets swarmed on the outside again and everyone pushes him into the STEEL steps and he hurts his knee. Another brawl and McIntyre ends up on control after slingshotting Christian into a ladder. He SUALACI but Matt catches him with a ladder to the back and sends him outside. Christian runs in and they brawl to the outside. CoRho takes the opportunity to scramble up but gets stopped and taken out by Kofi. Kofi climbs up but gets jerked off (heh) by Ziggler. Dolph comes dangerously close to winning until Christian cuts him off. The announcers mention the case is 20 (twenty) feet above the ring as Christian hiptosses Ziggler off the ladder

Matt enters the fray (good band) again and brings Christian down(ward spiral) to the ground. They battle until Kofi and CoRho charge in and Kofi ends up taking a Side Effect and CoRho takes a reverse DDT. Kane goozles both but gets kicked and takes a double DDT. Cole points out how MITB veterans Christian and Hardy have taken control but says nothing about how MITB veterans Kofi and Kane have not taken control. Kane gets erect and Christian and Matt sandwich him between two ladders and Kane powders out. Dueling ladders but Matt ends up getting flapjacked onto a ladder. Christian pushes that piece of garbage Matt Hardy out of the ring and SUALACI but CoRho pushes the ladder over and Christian flies out onto Big Show who had finally gotten up and sends him back down. Kane staggers into the ring and takes a Beautiful Disaster then a Trouble in Paradise and THEN a Twist of Fate. EVERYONE IS DOWN.

Everyone but Kofi Kingston, that is. Kofi sets up an 8 (eight)-foot ladder which will not work but takes a backdrop suplex from Rhodes. Rhodes and Hardy climb the same wrong ladder and slug it out. McIntyre, the Sinister Scotsman (taking the sinister attribute away from Ziggler I guess) pushes them down and climbs up and also beats down Ziggler when he comes in to argue about how HE's the sinister one in this match and McIntyre better give it back right away. Kane drags Drew outside and kicks him in the loving face. He brings a ladder to ringside but Kofi dropkicks it into his face. Drew is taking a breather on the announce table and Kofi nails him with Trouble in Paradise. The crowd cheers as Kofi looks at a ladder next to the table. Kofi ascends and hits the Boom Drop on Drew through the table!! Lawler says that Drew's head has been crushed. RIP Drew McIntyre.

Actually the next shot shows Drew's head and it appears to be uncrushed. UnRIP Drew McIntyre. Dolph is all alone in the ring and has hands on the case but just can't seem to unhook it. Show comes in and pushes the ladder out from underneath Dolph and catches him in the goozle on the way down and hits a NICE chokeslam. He turns around and walks into Kane who tries his own chokeslam but Show fights out and sandwiches Kane in the corner with a ladder and then splashes the ladder. Matt and Christian bash Show with a ladder in the back but when he turns around and they try again he overpowers them down so they are on the mat with the ladder on their chests. Show splashes them. Matt and Christian write around in agony on the floor which vaguely reminds me of something. What is it? Oh yeah I remember, it is probably similar to how Daniel and Nancy Benoit acted when they were being brutally murdered by Chris Benoit in 2007 at their home in Fayetteville, Georgia. The crowd likes the big splash and cheers on Big Show.

Show goes outside and grabs something under the ring. Its his own specially designed structurally reinforced ladder which weighs 350 (three hundred and fifty) pounds. Its also gold. Show spends about a minute dragging it out from under the ring and trying to get it inside the ropes. The crowd good naturedly laughs at his difficulties and then cheers him on to his eventual success . Show, finally ready to climb, sets on one foot on the ladder and then gets clipped from behind with a ladder by Rhodes. The announcers mention how Show has a knee brace on as well as having been injured by Jack Swagger's anklelock recently. CoRho climbs and it really is a giant loving ladder. Dolph attacks and hits Cody with an electric chair drop, but not from off the ladder. Cody's head appears to have hit a ladder when he landed. The announcers remind us that the briefcase has been cashed in 6 (six) times and 6 (six) times there's been a new champion.

Show catches Dolph on the ladder and with his FRYING-PAN-LIKE hand, chops Dolph off the ladder. He also takes out Hardy but keeps stopping to check on his injured ankle/foot/leg. MEANWHILE, Kofi springboards onto the ladder on the opposite side of Big Show. Show comes over and pulls Kofi off but Kofi turns into it into a mid-air DDT and Show is down. Kofi climbs up but Rhodes hits him with a missile dropkick. Rhodes drags Kofi over to a prone ladder and hits the CrossRhodes but appears to hit his head AGAIN on the ladder when he lands. Rhodes is sacrificing his head to win this match. Rhodes climbs but Dolph runs in and jumps at Rhodes but totally whiffs. He recovers and drags Cody down and the hits the ZigZag, driving Cody backwards into the ladder. Cody appears to hit his head for a 3rd (THIRD) TIME on the ladder.

Show is back up and clears the ring and slowly, gingerly, climbs up again. A few rungs up and Kane runs in and tips the ladder over and Show goes over the top rope to the outside. Its a good bump but less impressive than it sounds because Show hits the mat and momentum takes him up and over the rope, he doesn't fly over the top rope. Everyone buries Big Show under about 8 ladders or so. Show's ladder remains and everyone but Dolph and Drew try to climb it. Kane hits the chokeslams on Christian and Matt that he wanted earlier and clears out Kofi and Cody. Kane is almost up when Dolph climbs up OVER Kane and reaches for the case. Kane battles back and Dolph switches to his "patented" sleeper hold while still on the ladder. Kane rams his (Dolph) head into the ladder and they both tumble down. Kane tosses Dolph over the top rope but he lands on the apron so Kane just pushes him (Dolph) backwards and he lands right on Big Show and his ladders. Kane is all alone.

Kane was all alone but gets dragged out by Cody and Kofi. He easily beats them both down and drags Kofi over to Show and Dolph and the ladders, which is also the name of my new sitcom Im trying to sell. He chokeslams Kofi onto the pile and turns his attention to Cody. Cody tries to run away but Kane chases him down and lawn darts him into an armored truck parked next to the ramp. Kane runs back into the ring just in time to stop Christian and Matt from climbing the ladder but they team up and powerbomb him off the ladder down to the mat. Both men climb and Striker stops playing favorites and calls both men pioneers of the ladder match. They both get hands on the case and tussle over it, each seconds away from victory. They spend a good 30 (thirty) seconds on top of the ladder fighting while holding the case.

Holy poo poo Drew McIntyre, who I forgot was in this match or even existed to be honest, re-emerges and slowly climbs up. He has hands on the case but Kane goes up and chokeslams him off the ladder. Its more of a light push and pretty anti-climactic (but enough about my sex life) but it allows Kane to unhook the briefcase.

You winner: Kane.

Kane would cash in later that night on Rey Mysterio after Rey beat the previous MITB winner, Jumpin Jack Swagger. He would then go on to give the people what they wanted, what they needed, 3 (three) lovely PPV matches in a terrible but good feud with his brother The Undertaker. As I said in the introductions, Kane was searching for his brother's unknown attacker who had put the Undertaker in an unresponsive coma. That person would turn out to be Kane.

Good match this time. Show brought in some comedy with his ladder spots and I liked the burial of ladders and Dolph and Kofi's spots on top of them. Everyone had a chance to look good except for maybe Drew and Cody was sort of forgettable but Kane/Christian/Matt seemed to control the flow of the match and while it wasn't mindblowing it was entertaining.

oldpainless fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Jul 20, 2017

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Calling that Kane/Undertaker feud "terrible but good" is so accurate it hurts.

I vaguely recall hoping they Rey would finally get a good title reign, and liking his match against Swagger and thinking it was a good start to the run.... then Kane immediately cashed in so welp, that was that.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Kane UT was, I think, awarded worst feud of the year but it's the only time Kane beat UT clean and had the return of Paul bearer to the undertakers side who he then betrayed at the next ppv probsbly because UT buried him alive in concrete in 2004 and then at SurSer the Nexus helped Kane bury the undertaker alive and it was never brought up again and when Kane was asked years later about what the angle with nexus was leading to he was like lol I dunno

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



i dont remember, was the raw one better? i'm assuming no

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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KungFu Grip posted:

i dont remember, was the raw one better? i'm assuming no

Stay tuned and we just might find out! 😙

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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#8. Money in the Bank. July 18, 2010 in Kansas City, Missouri.

Participants: Randy Orton, The Miz (with the United States Championship), Mark Henry, Ted Dibiase (with Maryse and the Million Dollar Belt), Johnny Nitro (with slo-mo entrance), Chris Jericho, Evan Bourne (with certificate for graduating from the 6th (sixth) grade), Edge.

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, Matt Stryker.

The RAW MITB match is up next and lets see how it compares. This is the first MITB match for Miz and Dibiase. For those unaware, Ted Dibiase is the son of the REAL Ted Dibiase, the Million Dollar Man. However, apparently Vince Mcmahon hates people being called "Junior", just like Indiana Jones, so he's just Ted Dibiase. In an effort to make sure people knew he wasn't some Junior and was different from his old man, WWE proceeded to give him the Million Dollar Belt and brought back Virgil to act as his bodyguard exactly as his old man's gimmick was. Shockingly, SHOCKINGLY, Teddy Junior or "TJ" as he is now named failed to get over with this gimmick. He was soon repackaged and had The Dibiase Posse which I believe was mainly him tailgating with fans until he quit in 2013. This is the kind of information I would put in the ending paragraph talking about the winner of the match so I hope I'm not spoiling anything when I say TJ doesn't win. There is no on-screen relationship between Miz and Maryse and I don't know about their personal lives at this point either. I would be remiss if I didn't point out Michael Cole explains the rules to us before the participants come down the ramp. Edge slides a ladder into the ring before he enters. Lets start the match!

The bell rings and Edge immediately ducks out. Everyone eyes the ladder suspiciously. Everyone eyes each other suspiciously. Each other eyes everyone suspiciously. The ladder eyes everyone suspiciously. Mark Henry steps on the ladder to keep it from being used and is ganged up on. He uses the headbutt on Bourne. He headbutts Orton. Nitro takes a headbutt. The headbutt is utilized alot by Mark Henry is what Im trying to say here. Due to frenetic camerawork, its hard to keep track of everything but Mark ends up in the corner on the mat. Stryker believes Henry with his "decade of effort" has a strong chance at winning despite Edge and Jericho also having a decade of effort and much more experience in ladder matches and also inventing the match and also actually winning 2 suitcases and cashing them in previously.

Everyone spills to the outside which lets the ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST Edge SUALACI but Orton catches him and tosses him to the outside. He mounts Edge (heh) and rains down blows. In-ring, Nitro and TJ tussle. Nitro charges the ropes but Dibiase follows him in so when Nitro rebounds Dibiase is behind him and clotheslines him down onto the ladder. Its a nice spot and 1 (one) I always enjoy. TJ knocks Orton off the apron with a ladder but Bourne dropkicks the ladder into his chest. Miz attacks Bourne from behind and tosses him out. Miz and Jericho start battling but Henry tosses a ladder at the both of them and they're down. Cole and Lawler start cracking on Striker who remains silent. Henry hits his jump through the ropes manuever on Miz. Mark takes the (ultimate) opportunity to celebrate and takes a ladder to the head from Jericho. Henry is wearing a bright red body suit and its just like the most unflattering thing ever.

In-ring, its Bourne again with an enziguri on Jericho and he SUALACI. He gets stopped by Edge, who not only is the ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST but is also a MASTER PSYCHOLOGIST, but Bourne kicks him to the outside. Orton comes in and beats Bourne badly. He hits his middle rope DDT but does it off the ladder instead which I assume looked good. I have to assume that because the camera decided to zoom in on Randy's face when he was setting it up and then Orton drops out of view for a split second and the new camera angle shows us we missed the whole goddamn thing jesus loving christ are you making GBS threads me. Nitro, called Morrison for some reason by the announcers, charges in and catches Randy with a flash kick right in the loving face.

NItro stumbles into a ladder knocking it down and seems a little out of sorts which Striker attributes to X-factors, so yo thats what we're dealing with. TJ comes back in and assaults Nitro and is soon helped by Nitro's former tag team partner The Miz. They drape a ladder horizontally across the middle rope in the corner and whip Nitro in but he slides to stop his momentum and Miz gets flapjacked onto the ladder. TJ takes a drop toehold into the ladder. NItro SUALACI but its off the side for some reason which the announcers wonder about. Striker opines that because the case swings, Nitro put it there so the case will swing directly into his sexy sexy hands which Cole rightfully calls pretty stupid. Edge runs up the ladder and they fight. Jericho SUALACI during this and is soon joined by Orton. All 4 (four) men slug it out until Mark Henry comes over and stands between the ladders and pushes them down. Stryker calls him Hercules while Cole says he's parting the sea but I would have gone with a reference to Samson in the Book of Judges as he pushed down the pillars in the temple of Dagon, killing both himself and 3,000 Philistines. Speaking of killing and murdering, Samson would probably have a lot to talk about with Chris Benoit, a man who murdered his wife and his son before killing himself and putting a Bible by his sons corpse. Did you know that the Bible Benoit used was actually opened to the Book of Judges and the chapters concerning Samson? I mean, I just made that up but can you imagine if it was true?! Couldn't you just die?

Anyway, Mark staggers around the ring and Bourne rides a ladder from the top rope and knees him in the loving face before rolling to the outside. EVERYONE IS DOWN.

Everyone but Maryse, that is. After checking on that loser TJ, Maryse decides, like Thanos, to do it herself. She's close to the case before NItro grabs her and tells her to leave. With his back turned, TJ sneaks up the ladder behind Nitro but sneezes loudly, drawing Nitro's attention back. Nitro and TJ scrabble with Nitro getting the upper hand before Miz attacks on the outside with a ladder. He then braces the ladder up against the post, still on the outside. He tries to slingshot Nitro into the ladder but Nitro spidermans onto the ladder and up it. Then he rides a ladder placed against the post but on the in-side of the ring over to a ladder in the middle of the ring to meet Edge who has been trying to get the case with everyone either down or fighting on the outside.

Edge jumps off and pulls Nitro through the rungs so he's caught horizontally. Miz runs in and together they each grab an end of a ladder and start bringing it down onto Morrison's chest. Edge then pushes the ladder into Miz's face, drawing a pop from the crowd. Then he pushes the ladder, with Morrison still stretched across the middle, over drawing another pop. Edge SUAL but TJ catches him in the gut with another ladder. TJ cleans house on Edge, Orton and Jericho and the ring ends up with Edge's ladder under the case, a ladder next to that one but upside down so its like a V, and then a third ladder locked into the upside down ladder at a 45 (forty-five) degree Kurt Angle. TJ climbs up but jumps into Mark Henry's waiting arms and takes the World's Strongest Slam from the World's Strongest Man. Mark kicks a ladder into Jericho's face so Jericho is prone with the ladder across him. Mark presses Miz onto Jericho's ladder.

Mark starts to climb but Bourne jumps on his back with a sleeper so Mark just climbs with Bourne on his back applying a sleeper. Team Rated RKO start attacking Henry which allows Bourne to scramble up the ladder and try for the case. After disposing of Henry, Orton and Edge press Bourne outside onto Henry who catches him and hits yet another World's Strongest Slam. When Henry stands up, Nitro is there to hit a flash kick in his loving face off of the apron. As Henry is dazed, Jericho hits the Codebreaker. As Henry is even more dazed, he turns around into a spear from Edge.

Everyone left standing starts climbing up the ladders described earlier and fighting it out. TJ slides another ladder in opposite the upside down ladder forming a bridge from the top rope to the main ladder. Dibiase gets beaten down and laid across the bridge and then they just push the bridge back out over the top rope and TJ crashes to the floor. Cool spot but it could have been ugly. Crowd likes it though. RKO for Edge! Jericho kicks Orton to the outside and its Nitro and Jericho battling on the ladder. Jericho gets knocked down and gets his feet tangled in the rungs and dangles helplessly which, if you've been reading the thread, is a familiar position for him. Orton is back in and pulls Nitro off the ladder and hits an RKO but when Orton lands on the mat Bourne is there and hits him with a Shooting Star Press in a really sweet little spot. This is a receipt from Monday Night RAW where Bourne tried a SSP but Orton countered it into an RKO at the last second. Crowd goes crazy.

Bourne climbs and Jericho is still stuck in the ladder. The old annoying spot where Bourne pretends he can't unhook the briefcase for 20 (twenty) seconds comes back because Jericho takes a while to unfuck himself but unfuck himself he does and interrupts Bourne. Jericho slams the case into Bourne's head and Bourne is down and out. Edge clambers up and E&C battle. Edge rams Jericho's head into the ladder and Jericho drops a few steps and leans to the side and right into an RKO from Orton. Orton pushes Edge off and the crowd is going crazy for Randy. He's got hands on the case until Miz pushes the ladder out from under him. Orton is down and Miz is up and claims the case.

Your winner: Mike "The Miz" Mizanin

If you weren't watching around this point, you need to know that WWE was really pushing Miz hard during 2010. He got mic time and segments and backstage parts on pretty much every TV show and PPV. He was a double champion and Mr MITB. If you watched WWE around this time, you were gonna see the Miz a good amount and many people were good with that. Miz would go on to cash in on Randy Orton in November and would look like a weak chickenshit at every opportunity, needing help from Alex Riley and even Michael Cole to defeat anyone including Jerry Lawler during a match on RAW. This was also during the phase of Michael Cole being over the top annoying in his lavish praise of Miz and the much-hated Heel Cole phase. He would be almost a non-factor in his own Wrestlemania main event, taking backseat to John Cena and The Rock as they received all the attention. In February, one month before main-eventing Wrestlemania against John Cena with special guest host The Rock, Miz would wrestle commentator Jerry Lawler. Why they would commit so much time and resources in building and pushing Miz only to make him look like poo poo once he actually became the champ remains unknown to this day. However, people seemed to like his Wrestlemania entrance and video.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



okay i remember this being better than the smackdown one now

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