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Irony.or.Death
Apr 1, 2009


I'd say a majority of the giallos I've seen fall a little on the depressing side, Solange even more so than most. Stage Fright definitely sounds like a good fit for you though.

I'm coming up short on suggestions beyond that if Blood and Black Lace didn't work for you, though - it's probably the least-depressing and most-stylish one I can think of outside of territory you've already covered. All the major directors I know of definitely have their own style, and Dario very much stands alone. I feel like he was sort of a transitional force, and by the time we hit late 70s/early 80s there isn't a whole lot of vaguely supernatural and baroquely plotted giallo action left - now we're into Fulci and Lamberto land. Which is a cool place to be, but very different feel. If you want more of that and haven't gotten into Fulci yet check out The Beyond and House by the Cemetery. Maybe also Mariano Baino's Dark Waters (1993) which I love a lot and is way underseen. Unfortunately I don't think he did any other full length theatrical work.

edit: Based on your edit it sounds like maybe you haven't gotten into Fulci yet and he could definitely be up your alley as long as you have a high tolerance for what giallo fans seem to generously refer to as dream logic.

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Heavy Metal
Sep 1, 2014

America's $1 Funnyman

Basebf555 posted:

Have you seen Soavi's The Church? Its not really giallo, but its extremely stylish, and if you like stuff with a supernatural bent like Hellraiser and Nightmare on Elm Street, you'd probably enjoy it.

I'm the one that recommended Blood and Black Lace though so maybe our tastes just don't really match up.

Yep I've seen that one, I thought it was decent, funny that it was called Demons 3 in some places. I think our tastes line up at times, since we both like weird 80s stuff, I just don't like all the same giallo movies. I figure even if we like different ones, you aficionado gents may know of some gems in the kind of fun direction I'm going for at the moment.

Irony.or.Death posted:

I'm coming up short on suggestions beyond that if Blood and Black Lace didn't work for you, though - it's probably the least-depressing and most-stylish one I can think of outside of territory you've already covered.

I didn't say that particular movie was depressing or not stylish in my review of it, that's more referring to some of the other director's giallo movies from the 70s, or the vibe they seem to have. Just trying to articulate the difference between some of these and Dario's, which are my favs. Not liking a 60s movie that feels like Hitchcock meets Hammer is one thing, I'm more looking for post-Dario recommendations of righteous 70s and 80s movies.

I do like Fulci (especially The Beyond, less so Duckling), and it's true Dario is a unique filmmaker, but I figure that I like stuff like Nightmare Beach and Delirium might mean there are a few movies a bit lower on the bar that are up my alley. Some entertaining gems.

Thanks for the recommendations by the way! If there are more fun somewhat Dario-ish maybe 70s and 80s Italian horror movies you know of anybody, let me know!

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

Not giallos, but since you watched Fulci's The Beyond, have you seen City of the Living Dead? It's probably my favorite Fulci.


Cozzi's Contamination is pretty crazy if you want something Italian from 1980.

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007


Contamination is pretty amazing.

Heavy Metal
Sep 1, 2014

America's $1 Funnyman

I somehow haven't seen City of the Living Dead yet, I should get on that, thanks for the recommendations! Luigi Cozzi (the Contamination guy) has other movies I'm meaning to check out too, I have seen his glorious Hercules movies though.

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007


Heavy Metal posted:

I somehow haven't seen City of the Living Dead yet, I should get on that, thanks for the recommendations! Luigi Cozzi (the Contamination guy) has other movies I'm meaning to check out too, I have seen his glorious Hercules movies though.

You'll really dig Contamination it's got a killer soundtrack by Goblin as well.

Leavemywife
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.


Grimey Drawer

Hollismason posted:

You'll really dig Contamination it's got a killer soundtrack by Goblin as well.

When I watched Contracted, I think I had it confused with Contamination.

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007


Leavemywife posted:

When I watched Contracted, I think I had it confused with Contamination.

HOw?

Leavemywife
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.


Grimey Drawer


From the titles, mostly. I saw Contracted on Netflix and I was like, "Oh hey, I've seen this recommended! I'm going to watch it!"

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007


11. The Visitor (1979) This film is what would happen is if The Birds, The Omen, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Manitou, and Firestarter all did acid at a swingers party and then one of them had a child of undetermined parentage. This film is weird as hell. It's got a very young Lance Henriksen. The break out stars of this film are the young girls Alabama accent and Glen Ford's herpes mouth sore which hilariously disappears and reappears through out his scenes. They try to cover it up with make up and that just calls even more attention to it. Oh and Yah Weh and Satan are actually aliens. There's some trippy as hell imagery through out.







Jesus, and his cult of bald children?



Oh and birds are evil. Especially Hawks.

It's actually despite all of this just weird enough to grab your attention.



out of

Hollismason fucked around with this message at May 10, 2017 around 03:39

a foolish pianist
May 6, 2007

(bi)cyclic mutation


I'm in for 13.

Tonight: Man Vs

Bear Grylls meets Predator. Some surprisingly good atmosphere, kinda wrecked at the ending by bad effects and an unwillingness to let things remain mysterious. It had promise and did some good things.

3/5 moose

Irony.or.Death
Apr 1, 2009


6. The Canal (2014) - Random pick, another one from Ireland. A young couple buy a house, which is obviously a terrible idea. Some domestic poo poo happens. Husband finds out it's a murder house via watching old police footage at work. More domestic poo poo. If I had the self-control to abandon films unfinished I would stop here. "They saw a shadowy figure, a shadowy figure!" "It's just a coincidence." I hate everything about this boring garbage and everyone involved should feel deeply ashamed.

Leavemywife
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.


Grimey Drawer

4. Invoked

An Irish found footage horror film about a group of friends who take a holiday to an old hostel that's been abandoned for years. Thinking about it, I'm not sure why they decided to go there or how they knew about it, but the movie couldn't have happened without it, so there they are.

This hostel is on an island, where hundreds of years ago, the terrible people from the nearby village were buried; your murders, molesters, rapists, etc. etc. So, of course, this group of chucklefucks decides to hold a seance, because when you've been drinking heavily and smoking weed, that sounds like a great idea.

They're attacked by the spooky ghosts and, one by one, eliminated. The next morning, the caretaker is there with the cops (oh, yeah, there are also surveillance cameras in this hostel, so we can see what they're doing) and they find the lone survivor. As one of the cops is trying to talk to her, a creature skitters down the wall behind him...

Shockingly enough, the characters in this movie weren't too bad. They were kind of likable and realistic, which is refreshing to see. I tried watching Cabin Fever again and gave up because everyone was a huge dick. These characters suffered from the movie trope of using "gently caress" as a comma, which is realistic enough, but you'd think a screenwriter would take a little more care about the dialog.

However, even when the ghosts attack, nothing really happens. People disappear, but not in interesting ways. There is one scene of a thick blackness overtaking the walls, which was cool, but mostly just...There.

All in all, I think it's really only for the found footage junkie and not many others. I'd give it 5/10. It's solidly average, no more, no less.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


Fun Shoe

12. The Hills Have Eyes 2

This challenge is really giving me the kick in the rear end I needed to clear some of this stuff out of my watchlist. Craven is probably my least favorite of the Mount Rushmore-level horror directors, but I really enjoyed The Hills Have Eyes when I watched it last year. This sequel has almost none of the atmosphere of the original, and seemingly tries to do the action movie sequel thing where Craven is opening things up and making the story bigger and louder, and more explosive. It doesn't really work in my opinion, the close knit family of the original was a much easier group to root for than these characters and the plot is even thinner this time around.

Interesting that Jeepers Creepers 2 seems to be pretty heavily inspired by this, it seems like an odd horror sequel to emulate.

The good news is the dog is back. The Hills Have Eyes is really a tale of dog revenge, so not having the dog in the sequel would have been a travesty. All in all I consider this a misstep for Craven, made only a year after Nightmare on Elm Street. I don't see him as a consistent director, in my opinion he's never had an extended period of time like a Carpenter or Cronenberg where everything he touched turned to gold. His pattern seemed to be to make one very good to great horror film every 5 or 6 years, with some mediocre and forgettable crap mixed in between. Obviously there will be those(probably in this thread) who disagree with me on that, but films like The Hills Have Eyes 2 support the argument.

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment,
I wouldn't have any appointment.


Grimey Drawer

9. Maniac Cop

Tom Atkins! Bruce Campbell! Robert Z'dar! Sam Raimi (for 5 minutes)!

I remember reading about Maniac Cop in Bruce Campbell's book If Chin Could Kill, and I've somehow never seen it. In fact, I forgot about it until this challenge and the Horror Thread.

I like to throw fun horror movies at my buddy, since he only really watched them with me. He loves The Evil Dead, so seeing Bruce's name got him very excited.

His review, which ran through the movie, is spot-on: "Oh poo poo, this is cool."..."Oh poo poo, this is pretty good"..."drat, this is a Good Movie! This is really good!"

There's some weird pacing, I wish Atkins and Campbell could ham it up a bit more, but their performances were fun.

I like the energy, the mean-spirited killer, and it's fun seeing a slasher with a simple premise that absolutely could not be made in today's poltical climate.

/5

(Phone posting in an airport, hence the barebones review)

Drunkboxer
Jun 30, 2007



Why does the Maniac Cop have that billy club/knife thing? He's a giant zombie with a gun. Did he have it special made or something? Was the club itself not phallic enough for him?

Spatulater bro!
Aug 19, 2003



8. The Living Dead Girl - Jean Rollin, 1982



In a period where every director of zombie films, American or otherwise, was following the Romero template, Jean Rollin made one unlike any other. And he deserves a shitload of credit for that. None of the usual zombie trappings are here. No shambling ghouls. No boarded up refuges. No shotguns. Instead we've got Rollin's usual ethereal mood, beautiful women roaming around in sheer dresses, and lots of gratuitous nudity. The zombie here (there's only one) is written more like an amnesia victim than an undead corpse. We also get lots of gratuitous gore thrown into the mix, which is always welcome.

Of the Rollin films I've seen so far, this one has the most interesting story. It's simple but intriguing. I can also sense the attempt to create fleshed out characters, though not to an entirely successful effect. The English-speaking couple are set up well but ultimately end up being rather pointless. But the relationship and backstory between the two main girls is handled well.

Rollin may not be the most virtuosic horror director, but he's certainly one of the most stylistically pointed. The dude has his thing, he does it well, and he sticks to it. Fortunately for us his thing makes for unique, entrancing, delightfully unrestrained horror cinema.

/ 5

Spatulater bro! fucked around with this message at May 10, 2017 around 14:49

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


Fun Shoe

I'm definitely gonna do a Rollin double feature at some point this month, just waiting for the proper mood to strike me. So far I've only seen Fascination but I liked it a lot.

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment,
I wouldn't have any appointment.


Grimey Drawer

I watched Rollin's The Nude Vampire after Maniac Cop, but turned it off near the end. It's certainly interesting, it has a lot of visual flair, the jazz soundtrack was good, but it was just too over-bearing to finish (I had to pack for my trip).

I liked it a lot, but I also didn't like it.

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007


Lips of Blood is probably his best work and most introspective as to his film making and just like him as a person. Also, probably one of the more coherent ones.



(this is from Requiem for a Vampire)

Hollismason fucked around with this message at May 10, 2017 around 15:30

Cymoril
Jul 1, 2005

Kittens Warm the World

Dinosaur Gum

1. Bad Ben (2016)

I am a sucker for found footage and have been searching for one as effective and entertaining as As Above So Below. This didn't quite impress me nearly as much, but considering it consists entirely of one actor (who is also the director) and a shoestring budget, it managed to pull off some genuinely creepy moments.

A middle-aged, balding fat guy named Tom purchases a home at a Sheriff's Auction and decides to document his efforts at fixing up and flipping the house, utilizing his cell phone (which magically has night vision) and an extensive array of security cameras the previous occupants had installed. The house is full of stuff, making it seem like the owners just up and left one day. Peculiar, yes, but hey, considering he invested every penny he had in this house, he is thrilled to find extra things he can sell. Things almost immediately start getting weird, with furniture moving around by itself, shadowy figures lurking around outside, and the front door left wide open despite him closing and locking it. This is compounded when he begins to explore the property itself and locates a tiny grave in the woods marked with a cross and an old musical childrens toy (which he excitedly says he is going to list on Ebay right before desecrating the grave like the upstanding gentleman he is).

More strange occurrences plague him night and day, and he discovers more bizarre abandoned items in the shed and up in the ever spooky attic. Review of security footage shows that no, no one is breaking into his home to rearrange the furniture. There is definitely something supernatural going on which, instead of scaring him off, only makes him angry. There is something incredibly hilarious about this obviously out of shape dude challenging supernatural creatures to come fight him.

I can't describe it any further without spoiling the good parts, but Tom is a rather normal, relatable guy, which is extremely important because he is the only one carrying the movie. Sometimes his sarcasm and swearing is right on point, and other times you wonder why he is trying to pick fights with a potentially malevolent being, but damnit, nothing is going to chase him away from his home!

I enjoyed it more than I expected it to. Tension is built well, and almost nothing is explained in a satisfactory manner, letting you attempt to put the puzzle pieces together on your own. I would definitely recommend it if you're bored.

3.5/5


2. Steelmanville Road 2017

A prequel to Bad Ben, this movie fails in almost every way. It follows the story of the family living in the house before Tom purchased it. Discussing too much of the plot would give away plot points for Bad Ben, but suffice to say, it fails everywhere the first movie succeeded. The film follows Rachel and Matt, a supposedly happy couple who inherit the house from Rachel's birth mother (whom she has never met); a mutual friend who is so bland I can't remember his name; and a lawyer who is shady either because he can't work with the script or because he sat on a tack. Oh, and some crazy old woman who knew Rachel's mother.

The script and acting are atrocious. Multiple times, it felt like I was watching a video game cutscene, complete with awkward pauses as the NPC waits for you to select the next dialogue option. Every single character is insufferable in their own special way, with bonus points awarded to an old lady whose conversations with thin air would fit right in in a poorly made student production. Right off the bat, Rachel is a charicature of the snobby, histrionic wife, and her husband isn't a whole lot better. There is not a single likeable character in the entire film.

The supernatural minimalism from the first movie was tossed straight into a woodchipper. You can probably play Terrible Found Footage Bingo and cover the entire board. While Bad Ben was mostly show, not tell, this film decided to show way too much and tell almost nothing. The lack of budget really shows, and it seemed as if the director took all the clues he sprinkled in the first film and tried to write another story just around those items while managing to completely fail at any sort of satisfying explanation. Also, there were constant shrieks outside that sounded like a pterodacyl was nesting in one of the trees. An incredible disappointment from start to finish.

1/5

Cymoril fucked around with this message at May 10, 2017 around 15:36

Spatulater bro!
Aug 19, 2003



9. They Live - John Carpenter, 1988



The premise is novel, allegorical and extremely fun. The movie's filled with little surprising moments that either made me laugh, startled me, or both. A good example is the bottle to the head -> fall out the window -> roll down the hill scene. That poo poo had me laughing out loud.

I love the way Carpenter takes his time establishing the setting, and how he lets the story unfold very naturally. By the time Piper's character first puts on the glasses we're glued in, acutely invested in the mystery. And the payoff to this setup (what the glasses show) is tremendously cool.

Unfortunately the film takes a major hit in its third act. It feels rushed and lazy, devolving into uninteresting action and a tacked on resolution. The film ought to have been about forty minutes longer. As it stands the film's climactic high point is actually the long-rear end fight scene between Piper's and David's characters. Everything after that feels like an after thought.

But I like this movie despite that qualm. The concept is super intriguing and well executed, at least for the first hour. If it had maintained the level of quality shown by the first two acts, this might have been a five star movie.

/ 5

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment,
I wouldn't have any appointment.


Grimey Drawer

10. The Eyes of My Mother

A repeat viewing for me, but I managed to get two of my friends to watch it! I thought we would get through the first few minutes and have to turn it off, but they stayed interested and entertained throughout.

I think this is one of the few movies that works better as a solo experience (for me anyway), since it deals with loneliness and isolation in a heavy way. Seeing it with friends is fun to see what gets to them (the cannibalism, the surprise sex, Charlie's feeding, anything involving the stolen child and his mother). The strangest criticism: they wanted more visceral action, they wanted to see more. That may have been my fault, since I built it up as a disturbing movie, and their imaginations ran wild during the beginning.

It was good. I got two of my friends to watch what's essentially an art house semi-foreign horror film, which almost never happens.

Still, my review for this film is a solid /5

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


Fun Shoe

13. Beyond the Gates

Feels like I'm on a run of pretty negative reviews here, so add another one to the pile. I had heard whispers that this movie was not good, but the trailer and the presence of Barbara Crampton hooked me in.

Unfortunately this is a film that sets up a really cool premise, basically that its going to be a horror version of Jumanji, and then completely fails to deliver on that premise in any way that would be considered novel or even entertaining on a basic level. Technically speaking its not bad, its actually shot fairly well, but it just comes nowhere close to doing justice to the movies from the 80's that it appears to want to be a love letter to. None of the over the top goopy effects of From Beyond, not even the more down and dirty(and cheaper) gore of Re-Animator. A whole lotta nothing really.

Which is a little odd, because I was shocked to find out that the film had a budget of 3 million. Where did it all go? If you told me that this movie cost $100,000 I'd believe it. Even the board game itself is lazy and uninspired. On the plus side the acting is not terrible, and its always nice to see Crampton. I wouldn't call this a cameo, its a bit more than that and she does have a decent number of lines, not just one or two.

If we weren't in a time where so many independent horror films are popping up that are shockingly good, I'd have had much more realistic expectations for Beyond the Gates, but in the era of It Follows, You're Next, and The Witch, you gotta do better than this.

Spatulater bro!
Aug 19, 2003



Yeah Eyes of my Mother is a hard sell because it falls in that odd middle ground between art film (I actually hate that term) and gore-driven visceral horror. If you describe it as being super hosed up people will be expecting lots of graphic violence. But if you describe it as artistically fascinating people won't be prepared for how disturbing it is. Its unsettling nature comes, I think, from a combination of its style, its subject, the gore it does show, and just how well made it is.

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment,
I wouldn't have any appointment.


Grimey Drawer

The opening shots of a cows head and the Un Chien Andalou-esque eye slice give an impression that it's only going to visually get worse, when really those shots are probably most violent (besides some suturing) and do more to make you dread what's to come than to actually warn you.

I have a bad habit of over-using the term "art film", and I've probably scared more people than interested them in films I love. "Eraserhead is a dark comedy/horror art film filled with existential dread! It's really good!"... "Uh, I'm good, thanks."

BisonDollah
Feb 9, 2010

To me, it was Tuesday.

C U Next Tuesday


3. Trilogy of Terror - UK Amazon Prime

Karen Black is great, obviously. I love horror anthology films without exception but this is maybe too cheesy in a bad way at times; ultimately Black's star shines enough to make it a worthy watch though. I liked the last story with the little voodoo doll guy from the front cover the best.

Portmanteau Movies Ranked - Tales of Halloween > Trilogy of Terror > Asylum

4. The Hallow - UK Amazon Prime

An Irish horror about faeries and poo poo, it really surprised me with how tightly written it was and how good it looked. A great burn all the way through, it's not as good as The Descent due to the lack of character dynamics but I wouldn't feel too weird recommending it to fans of the last 30 minutes of that movie.

European Folk Horror Ranked - Trollhunter > The Hallow > Leprechaun

5. The House on Sorority Row - UK Amazon Prime

This should be a staple of slasher movies, maybe it is but I'm really surprised at myself for not having seen it before. The roots for revenge slashers like I Know What You Did Last Summer are real strong in this one.

Slasher Horror Ranked - Popcorn > The House on Sorority Row > New Nightmare

Leavemywife
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.


Grimey Drawer

5. Last Shift

Last Shift is a movie about a cop on her first night on the job. Her sole duty is to babysit an empty policestation, waiting for a hazardous materials crew to arrive to remove all hazardous materials from evidence (drugs and the like). Sounds pretty easy, right?

Of course, it isn't. Before too long, odd things begin happening, such as all the locker room lockers bursting open, leading her to find a picture of her father, a former cop, killed on duty. She begins to receive mysterious calls from a girl needing help, claiming she escaped from a group of maniacs.

Mysterious forces begin to torment her and she has to discover just what is going on in this station, help the mysterious girl, and figure out the circumstances surrounding a Satanic group that was brought through years ago...

Last Shift is pretty satisfying, as it hits plenty of spooky notes. There's one scene that is just an exposition dump, but it's inoffensive in that regard. For the most part, the movie is good on atmosphere and general creepiness. I would say it's worth checking out and giving it at least a half hour of your time.

7/10.

Spatulater bro!
Aug 19, 2003



10. The Good Son - Joseph Ruben, 1993 (rewatch)



This is certainly not one I was intending to watch for this challenge. My wife and I watched it on a whim last night, it's categorized as horror, so I'm counting it.

It absolutely reeks of Hollywood studio brainstorming. "Hey guys, you know what we should do to cash in on this Culkin craze? We should make him a bad guy! That's interesting, right?" Okay, so maybe it's sort of interesting. Coming right off the heels of the Home Alone films, seeing cute little Kevin McCallister as a sinister horror villain was novel to say the least. But the problem is he's just not a very good actor. He's mumbly, twitchy and his line delivery comes off very rehearsed. For whatever reason this worked in Home Alone, but in a serious horror/drama his poor acting really shows itself. Especially working alongside Elijah Wood who acts circles around him.

The one thing I'd say I like about this is how nice looking it is. It takes good advantage of the beautiful coastal Maine landscape with some stunning shots of the cliffs and the ocean.

There's nothing particularly scary here. I suppose if you're a mother who has fears of raising a rotten kid this might strike a chord, but otherwise it's quite tepid. Back in the 90s they frequently wasted the R-rating (there's no way in hell they wouldn't make this PG-13 today). I'm not saying I needed to see the dog explode into a gory mess, but give me something that justifies me sneaking into the theater to see this. It's essentially a Lifetime movie with star power, a good cinematographer, and a couple F words.

/ 5

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


Fun Shoe

14. Tourist Trap

Now this is the good stuff. Movies like this are why I subscribe to Shudder and hang out in the horror thread.

Released in 1979, one wonders whether or not Tourist Trap would have been made post-Friday the 13th just a year later. While there are some slasher elements here(young good looking people picked off one by one), it feels much more like an extended Twilight Zone episode, albeit a particularly dark and disturbing one. While the film definitely has a twisted sense of humor, I found myself incredibly uneasy and even at a few points legitimately terrified, which is pretty rare these days. Apparently, fear of mannequins and dolls is called pediophobia, so maybe I have that?

I love westerns just as much as I do horror, so going in I didn't know what to make of Chuck Connors playing this role. He's not exactly my favorite western star, he always struck me as the guy from Hail Caesar! that can barely pull of the cowboy role and would be completely out of his depth in anything else. Turns out I was wrong, because I think he really knocks this one out of the park(fun fact: Connors is one of only a few people to play in both Major League Baseball and the NBA). His friendly, helpful, yet na´ve rube character is perfect, you can tell he's tapping into his western roots and it feels totally natural. Of course, things develop from there and he's required to stretch himself quite a bit, but it never feels like too much. It's unfortunate that Tourist Trap is so unknown, this could easily be considered one of Connor's best performances.

I was surprised and yet not surprised to find out that Robert Burns, who also worked on Texas Chainsaw Massacre, did the art and production design for Tourist Trap. So much of this movie is ridiculous and over the top on the surface, but Burns production design combines that with the lived in, broken down quality that he brought to Texas Chainsaw. It lends the entire film an atmosphere of death and decay that is so important to making it as ultra-creepy as it is.

Anyone who is looking for an under the radar gem for this challenge should check out this film, its available on Shudder.

T Bowl
Feb 6, 2006

Shut up DUMMY

I really liked Sweet Sweet Lonely Girl on Shudder. It's a slow burn House of the Devil type horror film. The only downside is the rather weak ending.

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007


12. Stakeland 2 : The Stakelander For a made for TV movie for SyFy this film is really way better than it should be. If the SyFy channel could produce more of these types instead of the garbage Asylum they put on they'd probably do way better. Unfortunately the original director of the first film Jim Mickle didn't return for the sequel and you can really tell the tone has changed . It continues directly a few years later with the Mister and Martin ( two guesses why he is named this) return. The film suffers from a last act that can be described as barely visible. Seriously directors need to realize that yeah it looks dark and cool for a little while then you can't see poo poo. There's a reason taht they did blue tint for nigh in films for decades. The film is obviously low budget but you'd never know, it makes great use of of landscape imagery throughout just showing the emptiness of things. I'd say it doesn't live up to the sheer badassery of the first film , but it is still a really decent sequel, with some really great touching character moments, and one scene in particular that I just loved. It also was surpising to see STeven Willams in this ( Creighton Duke from Jason goes to Hell). It's a fun film and it does not wear out it's welcome at 85 minutes ( which I still insist horror films are always better with a leaner run time). The special effects again as the first are pretty top notch and pretty much all practical as well.


out of 5


One more movie to go ( I'm probably just going to rewatch The Devils) I may watch a new film haven't decided what though.

Hollismason fucked around with this message at May 12, 2017 around 19:14

Irony.or.Death
Apr 1, 2009


7. Q (1982) - Larry Cohen and something about Quetzalcoatl eating people in New York, what could possibly go wrong? Well, okay, lots of things. Most obviously that it has an imagination twice as long as its running time and a hundred times the size of its budget. It's an absolute joy despite all of its problems, though. I mean just look at it:



You have to love that. I was surprised by how similar it feels to God Told Me To. There's an early scene that is strongly reminiscent of that movie's intro, but we get blood instead of bullets falling on random New York pedestrians. We get a detective who's putting together clues and accepting the vaguely supernatural at a pace that feels totally out of synch with anything the audience actually gets to see. I'm also left with the same feeling of almost-brilliance - the film raises a lot of potentially interesting questions and could do well by leaving them largely unresolved, but totally undermines this by having someone just spell it all out in what feels like a throw-away line. It's like someone just didn't trust the audience to handle the story, which is a really weird perspective on giant monster eating people movie. This sort of makes sense because it is not actually a giant monster eating people movie, but if ancient Aztec god is a largely secondary background element then why is it so important to explain the mechanics of it to the audience? At least this one does it earlier in the film than God Told Me To, so you can sort of shrug at that element and focus on what the movie is actually about, which is Michael Moriarty's character. I don't think I have ever heard of him before, but he's great and gets sole song-writing credit too.

Definitely recommended, but part of me is always going to wish I lived in that alternate reality where Larry Cohen had a lot more money and a better editor.

Irony.or.Death
Apr 1, 2009


I'll doublepost I don't even care you slackers

8. Sennentuntschi (2010) - The trailer for this thing tells you it's about some guys stuck in a remote mountain cabin who make a doll that turns into a girl for purposes of chores/sex/etc. They are inspired to do this by absinthe and an old story about three other guys who made a doll that prompted Satan to take pity on them and bring the doll to life. It later skins them and turns them into dolls in revenge, presumably because being brought to life solely to serve as a domestic/sex slave would kind of suck. In the story that inspired the characters, I mean. It still seems like a good idea because they are drunk in a cabin, I guess. Anyway, this experience of the trailer makes it a little bit jarring when the movie actually opens with a priest committing suicide and a mute girl wandering into the village for a setup that seems pretty far removed from the trailer, but by half an hour or so in you're feeling like it could have been a cool slow burn if only the trailer hadn't given so much away. And none of these impressions are wrong, exactly, but they're not really right either and the entire package is just weirder than you'd expect from the premise. Also more depressing. I can't really remember the last time I was watching a movie and just wanted all of the characters to stop. Just...stop. Doing what they're doing, being who they are. If that sounds appealing and you're feeling patient, I would definitely give it a watch. Make sure you're drinking.

Drunkboxer
Jun 30, 2007



13. The Beast Must Die (1974) Shudder (I think?)
Yes, I know we're all a little sick of modern horror and mystery films overusing Werewolf Breaks, but what about the movie that started it all? A millionaire hunter traps a bunch of 1970s people at his compound seeking to hunt the most dangerous game of all: a werewolf. He thinks/knows that one (and for some reason it's exactly one, they never explain this) of these people is a werewolf, and plans to hunt them down. Obviously things don't go so well. I liked the dumb gimmick and the cast, but the mystery is pretty thin. Also, like I mentioned before dogs aren't scary, and the werewolf is played by a German shepherd. Still kinda fun though. 2.25 out of 5.

Spatulater bro!
Aug 19, 2003



11. The Mystery of the Wax Museum - Michael Curtiz, 1933



The 1953 House of Wax is a remake of this. Despite not having the great Vincent Price, this 1933 version is pretty much just as good. It has more of a detective whodunnit feel, but the horror elements are alive and well. Lionel Atwill plays a good version of the vengeful, disfigured wax sculptor.

I believe this is the earliest feature length film I've seen in technicolor. It's the two-color process, which gives the film a pink and green hue. I think it's really cool looking, but apparently it wasn't popular to audiences at the time and it was expensive, so there aren't a whole lot of these. But I'd say my favorite thing about this is its look.


/ 5

TheKingslayer
Sep 3, 2008

There are no men like me. There's only me.

7. Beyond The Gates

Wouldn’t you know, another IFC film…

Now from the trailer I really am going in wanting to like this one. I love board games, especially the cheesy old VHS ones. Also nothing can capture the nostalgia of the movie rental store days. This checks a lot of boxes for me on premise.

But I really have to ask…

Was this a script for an Are You Afraid Of The Dark episode that someone beefed up and put a little violence in to make feature length?

None of the actors had any chemistry and the pacing was so bad. The movie felt like it took forever to actually get anything going with it’s premise. There are jump scares and very little in the way of tension to be had. There was even a totally juvenile bully in parts of the film. But what really set it over the top and into “this had to be written for kids” territory was the shop owner towards the middle. This guy is putting in some kid’s show spooky guy acting you have to see to believe, at that point I just felt like the movie was trying to swerve into some horror comedy territory but not pulling it off well. Barbara Crampton though is a ray of sunshine for managing to be the best performer despite never being physically present with any characters and also for being very beautiful.

Once again, I really liked what this movie could have been and some of the ideas going on. But it felt there were some character building sections and plot points that were maybe cut or just not fully explored that really could have helped the movie. Like maybe more about why Gordon was so… well the way he was and Gordon and John’s relationship with their father. It just felt like nothing was touched upon enough to be satisfying.

It wasn’t horribly bad, it just fell really short of my expectations from the trailer, so maybe that’s on me. It was perfectly middle of the road and with a smidge of editing you could actually just play this for kids around Halloween or something, it might actually be better that way. Then again I watched some screwed up stuff as a kid.

2/5

Irony.or.Death
Apr 1, 2009


9. The Burning (1981) - I am not particularly excited about slashers as a rule, but I've enjoyed a handful of the classics and this one's attracted enough thread praise to catch my attention. In some ways it works really well - giving the characters some time to breath before you start killing them is pretty much always going to make for a stronger movie. Unfortunately The Burning doesn't commit to this as fully as it should, so we get a completely pointless random killing early on and a ton of completely ineffective attempts to maintain tension with quaint jump scares and harmless shadowy figures. It's like the movie is afraid you're going to forget its genre and fails to recognize that this isn't actually a bad thing. It's not a totally unfounded fear, though, because the actual slasher bits are almost entirely vestigial. You could replace like two scenes with someone losing a map and a bear attack and you'd have a movie that was just as strong. The finale almost changes this, and looks like it's going to be surprisingly effective and tie everything together really well. This holds up for about ten seconds before it grinds to an inexplicable halt, then restarts in much goofier fashion. I had to double check to make sure I wasn't watching some sort of bizarre bootleg re-cut, but no, this is the full thing. That's really how it went.

Still, the horror content isn't completely terrible or anything, just not nearly as good as it could have been. And the goofball summer camp comedy it's bolted to is pretty good. Solid cast all around, lots of great performances. Behold, acting:

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007


The Burning also kind of flips the script on standard slashers by having the final girl be a young man. Although I think this is just because it's kind of misogynistic.

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Irony.or.Death
Apr 1, 2009


It is true that that is an unusual feature, but it doesn't seem like the movie is really doing anything substantive or interesting because of it. Just one of several deviations from the standard formula that looks more dramatic in retrospect because nobody else ever bothered to do it. I think my favorite shift along those lines is that it found ways to winnow the cast down without just killing everyone, so there was some variety in how you get down to the final girl scenario. Which it's not sticking particularly closely to anyway.

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