Snake, your mission is to keep the targets at #FireFestival

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Imp Zone: Player's Choice > Snake, your mission is to keep the targets at #FireFestival

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Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

In Training posted:

[Ja Rule wakes with a heavy headache and a sinking realization that Eva absconded with the Philospher's Legacy and he has to cancel the musical acts, catering and hotel services]

Lmao

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:08

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:57

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Oh my God, wait a minute- could this finally be the long-awaited 'return to Camp Omega' Kojima and Geoff Keighley were hinting at?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:07

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

Ocelot: Huh. You know... sooner or later there will be only one plane. There's only room for one plane. The attendees are fated to face each other someday too. If the day ever comes that you go back to the airport, I'll aid the other yuppies. And then you and I will be enemies, too. One of us will have to kill the other.

Kaz: Fine by me. I'll be ready for the new flight. Until then, we'd better get used to salad.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:10

Boofy: Sep 11, 2001

Black Baby Goku posted:

That's *drat* Good!

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:12

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

The Kingdom of the Flies... Oh my God!!!

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:17

Whilst farting I: Apr 25, 2006

Pablo Gigante posted:

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:18

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

Fungah! posted:

Otacon: The truth is... my grandfather was part of Woodstock. He lived with the guilt for the rest of his life. And my father...he was born on June 21, 1986.
Snake: The day of the first Burning Man. God's got a sense of humor, all right.

Pablo Gigante posted:

PROTIP: If you set the system clock forward one week, all the festival attendees will have died.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:22

extremebuff: Jun 20, 2010

Pablo Gigante posted:

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:23

Black Baby Goku: Apr 2, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Oh my God, wait a minute- could this finally be the long-awaited 'return to Camp Omega' Kojima and Geoff Keighley were hinting at?

Festivals Will Rise 4/28/17

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:22

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Bane: Yes- the Fyre rises.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:24

Black Baby Goku: Apr 2, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Bane: Yes- the Fyre rises.

LOL

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:25

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

Well, let me tell you about the absolute worst, most sickening nightmare I ever had. This one isn't for the kids. OK, so there's this huge pile of crap, right? It's shaped like a private music festival, and it's walking around on two legs, goin' on a rampage and takin' people's laptops and stuff. And this giant turd is carrying the nastiest sandwiches you ever saw. Like whenever you open one of its turd takeout boxes... whoever gets it - people, islands, airports - turns into poo poo. My iPhone, my hedge fund, my family, my girlfriend, old man Ja... Everything in that turd's path turned into poo poo.

Snake: That's... pretty sick, man.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:25

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:25

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Bane: Yes- the Fyre rises.

CIA: That's a big cheese sandwich.
Bane: For you.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:27

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

Lmao

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:30

Black Baby Goku: Apr 2, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:29

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

OTACON: He's coming too?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:29

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

NickRoweFillea posted:

OTACON: He's coming too?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:30

Fungah!: Apr 30, 2011

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:31

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Les Pectus Excavatum...

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:32

Black Baby Goku: Apr 2, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Les Pectus Excavatum...

Lmao

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:33

Average Bear: Apr 4, 2010

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:34

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

https://twitter.com/outlawhearts/status/858062650307170304

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:36

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

Ja Rules of Nature

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:35

In Training: Jun 28, 2008

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:36

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Pablo Gigante posted:

Ja Rules of Nature

LMFAO

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:38

Fungah!: Apr 30, 2011

Ja Rule...I'm burning up!!!

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:41

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

Pablo Gigante posted:

Ja Rules of Nature

lol

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:39

Fungah!: Apr 30, 2011

Pablo Gigante posted:

Ja Rules of Nature

lmao

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:42

Black Baby Goku: Apr 2, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Pablo Gigante posted:

Ja Rules of Nature

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:42

Mia Wasikowska: Oct 7, 2006

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

amazing

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:49

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:55

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Control Volume posted:

# ? Apr 28, 2017 22:57

Black Baby Goku: Apr 2, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Control Volume posted:

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C

Lmfao

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:09

Evil Eagle: Nov 5, 2009

Control Volume posted:

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:19

In Training: Jun 28, 2008

Control Volume posted:

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C

Chips?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:21

Fungah!: Apr 30, 2011

Control Volume posted:

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:57

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Control Volume posted:

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C

Lol

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:30

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Imp Zone: Player's Choice > Snake, your mission is to keep the targets at #FireFestival

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