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I did this last year during the offseason and I had fun doing it, so I'm gonna do it again. The 2016 NFL season loving sucked. My team was garbage and the Patriots won the Super Bowl, which is only slightly better than the 2015 season where my team was garbage and the Broncos won the superbowl. So let's ignore reality and re-do the entire season and hope for a better reality. By my count, if I do sims every Sunday, this sim should take us right into the first week of September and the start of the 2017 season. It will also be the last hurrah for the San Diego Chargers so gently caress yeah let's do this thing.  Week One Panthers 31, Broncos 21 Falcons 31, Bucs 20 Titans 20, Vikings 17 Eagles 41, Browns 27 Bengals 28, Jets 22 F/OT Saints 27, Raiders 24 F/OT Chiefs 24, Chargers 20 Ravens 21, Bills 20 Bears 41, Texans 13 Packers 16, Jaguars 10 Dolphins 23, Seahawks 20 Giants 31, Cowboys 23 Lions 44, Colts 17 Cardinals 30, Patriots 17 Redskins 39, Steelers 36 F/OT Rams 23, 49ers 20 F/OT AFC East: Dolphins 1-0 (0-0) Bills 0-1 (0-0) Jets 0-1 (0-0) Patriots 0-1 (0-0) AFC North: Bengals 1-0 (0-0) Ravens 1-0 (0-0) Steelers 0-1 (0-0) Browns 0-1 (0-0) AFC South: Titans 1-0 (0-0) Colts 0-1 (0-0) Jaguars 0-1 (0-0) Texans 0-1 (0-0) AFC West: Chiefs 1-0 (1-0) Broncos 0-1 (0-0) Raiders 0-1 (0-0) Chargers 0-1 (0-1) NFC East: Giants 1-0 (1-0) Eagles 1-0 (0-0) Redskins 1-0 (0-0) Cowboys 0-1 (0-1) NFC North: Bears 1-0 (0-0) Packers 1-0 (0-0) Lions 1-0 (0-0) Vikings 0-1 (0-0) NFC South: Falcons 1-0 (1-0) Panthers 1-0 (0-0) Saints 1-0 (0-0) Bucs 0-1 (0-1) NFC West: Rams 1-0 (1-0) Cardinals 1-0 (0-0) Seahawks 0-1 (0-0) 49ers 0-1 (0-1)
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Apr 30, 2017 18:05
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I do not like our chances after losing 41-13 to the Bears.
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Apr 30, 2017 18:16
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C'mon Niners, you can fail your way to the (fantasy) #1 pick
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Apr 30, 2017 18:20
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all-Rush mixtape posted:I do not like our chances after losing 41-13 to the Bears. No poo poo, the fix is in. The real Texans would've lost 14-6!!
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Apr 30, 2017 18:49
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I'm up to week 6 in my parallel universe league, I suspect the Bears may make the playoffs on current form, I have had to resist the urge to reload results since that is so absurd.
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May 1, 2017 14:49
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already like this better than last.
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May 1, 2017 14:50
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in this universe did we beat the pats w/ or w/o brady?
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May 1, 2017 17:01
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JPrime posted:in this universe did we beat the pats w/ or w/o brady? Without
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May 1, 2017 17:03
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JPrime posted:in this universe did we beat the pats w/ or w/o brady? Without, you can click on the games to check who's doing things at the bottom of the page. Apparently Garropolo didn't make it through the whole game either.
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May 1, 2017 17:04
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all-Rush mixtape posted:I do not like our chances after losing 41-13 to the Bears. In this universe we might end up with Garrett! Or get Watson without having to give up picks
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May 1, 2017 17:07
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sirtommygunn posted:Without, you can click on the games to check who's doing things at the bottom of the page. Apparently Garropolo didn't make it through the whole game either. Ah, I see. David Johnson: 16/176/3TDs 
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May 1, 2017 17:49
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Rams winning on 5 Greg Zuerlein field goals sounds about right.
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May 1, 2017 19:52
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'16 Adrian Peterson 10 17 0 13 0 this pleases me, gently caress him
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May 2, 2017 00:45
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Print the shirts
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May 2, 2017 00:52
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JPrime posted:Ah, I see. This is the universe we should be in right now.
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May 2, 2017 07:39
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There was one sack in the Panthers game and it came from the Charles Johnson. Weird.
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May 2, 2017 15:36
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Hauschka missing a FG in a game we lost by 3 sounds eerily familiar.
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May 2, 2017 23:30
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Benne posted:Hauschka missing a FG in a game we lost by 3 sounds eerily familiar. an xp was missed so seems about right
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May 3, 2017 02:57
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as is tradition i'm here to say this: all the games are cherrypicked to suit the overarching narrative which will become apparent as soon as more data is in. my suspicion this year is that the bengals not winning the super bowl is the narrative
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May 5, 2017 09:29
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The Bears are too good in my universe, I removed Hoyer and replaced him with Cutler and now they aren't so formidable
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May 5, 2017 09:42
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BOO YA
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May 5, 2017 12:25
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Hey wait that's not right
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May 5, 2017 14:30
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Week Two Bills 27, Jets 20 49ers 31, Panthers 30 Cowboys 34, Washington 23 Steelers 27, Bengals 24 Saints 27, Giants 24 Dolphins 30, Patriots 24 Chiefs 13, Texans 7 Titans 26, Lions 20 F/OT Ravens 34, Browns 17 Seahawks 18, Rams 15 Cardinals 38, Bucs 10 Falcons 34, Raiders 31 Broncos 21, Colts 13 Jaguars 17, Chargers 9 Packers 38, Vikings 12 Bears 38, Eagles 24 AFC East: Dolphins 2-0 (1-0) Bills 1-1 (1-0) Jets 0-2 (0-1) Patriots 0-2 (0-1) AFC North: Ravens 2-0 (1-0) Steelers 1-1 (1-0) Bengals 1-1 (0-1) Browns 0-2 (0-1) AFC South: Titans 2-0 (0-0) Jaguars 1-1 (0-0) Colts 0-2 (0-0) Texans 0-2 (0-0) AFC West: Chiefs 2-0 (1-0) Broncos 1-1 (0-0) Raiders 0-2 (0-0) Chargers 0-2 (0-1) NFC East: Giants 1-1 (1-0) Eagles 1-1 (0-0) Cowboys 1-1 (1-1) Redskins 1-1 (0-1) NFC North: Packers 2-0 (1-0) Bears 2-0 (0-0) Lions 1-1 (0-0) Vikings 0-2 (0-1) NFC South: Falcons 2-0 (1-0) Saints 2-0 (0-0) Panthers 1-1 (0-0) Bucs 0-2 (0-1) NFC West: Cardinals 2-0 (0-0) Seahawks 1-1 (1-0) Rams 1-1 (1-1) 49ers 1-1 (0-1)
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May 8, 2017 01:45
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prinTheshirts
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May 8, 2017 02:26
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I'm Glad The Bengals Lost
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May 8, 2017 02:54
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Adrian peterson remains trash and the packers run for 220+ yards. seems legit.
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May 8, 2017 02:56
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Why are the Bengals running the ball 35+ times a game?
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May 8, 2017 04:08
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The Lions were done in by terrible officiating in this reality as well.
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May 8, 2017 04:10
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Game simulator realizes that Jordan Howard is a best running back on the Bears roster four games before John Fox did and has a better win total. I think we found our next head coach.
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May 8, 2017 04:19
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Seahawks/Rams is as unwatchable in fake football as it was in real life. At least we actually won this time.
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May 8, 2017 04:21
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Sataere posted:Game simulator realizes that Jordan Howard is a best running back on the Bears roster four games before John Fox did and has a better win total. I think we found our next head coach. Someone immediately sim 2017 and see if it puts in Mitch
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May 8, 2017 04:35
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Hell yeah, Titans kickin' rear end.
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May 8, 2017 05:09
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adaz posted:Someone immediately sim 2017 and see if it puts in Mitch The simulation will only run with Mark Sanchez, because we all know Fox needs a veteran presence leading the ship.
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May 8, 2017 08:11
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korrandark posted:Why are the Bengals running the ball 35+ times a game? Whatif's simulations, regardless of what type of offense you set for the team, still wind up being really run heavy.
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May 8, 2017 14:10
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DJ: 19/159/0 CJ2k: 7/68/2 wtf?
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May 8, 2017 17:28
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korrandark posted:Why are the Bengals running the ball 35+ times a game? To try and justify that Mixon pick? 
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May 8, 2017 20:39
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Bench Keenum
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May 8, 2017 20:48
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gently caress yes
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May 8, 2017 21:30
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Smarms posted:To try and justify that Mixon pick? This is for last year though.
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May 8, 2017 23:19
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It's funny how this thread is the most exciting football thing for like the next three months
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May 8, 2017 23:31
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