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This is the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life. My Score: 10/10 ---------------- |
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May 6, 2017 15:04
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I'm torn on this one. On the one hand, I think even using the prospect of your best bud dying to troll people is kinda hosed up, but on the other hand, if you're going to troll you might as well commit to it and you committed real hard here. In the end, I'm not judging where you'll be spending eternity, I'm judging your talent, and this is a great longform clicker. You absolutely would have fooled me because by the time I got to the link I was having the Futurama Episode With The Dog feels and it short circuited my ability to think straight. But the link was the wrong color, and that is when I knew. Perfect points for style, just a slight demerit for execution. This is the same score Hitler would have gotten for WWII btw: My score: 9.9/10 ---------------- |
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May 6, 2017 15:09
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Confidential to Manifisto: Next time you make things, make sure to document every step because you never know when you're going to be in a pageant and need to show all the steps so the judge can really appreciate what you've done. Here's the thing: you made the stuff so well that it looks like it didn't take any effort to make it, which makes it seem like it didn't require a lot of talent. Plus you said that your talent is faking craftiness, so maybe it's all a lie. Strong contestants think about the judges, and about whether maybe the judges have TOTALLY REASONABLE trust issues because of their childhoods or Martha gaslighting them about those text messages she kept getting from her "best friend" who was actually a wine-distributor named Brian and I think you should be legally able to send your therapy bills to people like that, I mean, I know that technically you can sue for pain and emotional distress but somehow not when it's your SUPPOSEDLY girlfriend or her wine distributing gently caress buddy? We need more and better laws against Martha. However, I like the tent. I like that it looks like it would keep water from hitting your head. I like the backpack. It looks like you can pack things in there. And I really like the mask. I had the same copy of Prydain books (totally remember them, Fflewddur Fflam fftw) and the Horned King creeped me out. If I was walking around on Halloween and saw that mask I'd know instantly where it came from. My Score: 9.4/10 ---------------- |
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May 6, 2017 15:19
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lmao this owns. great selection, great bg music, great execution. My Score: 10/10 ---------------- |
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May 6, 2017 15:26
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Thank you, King of the Beach, for sharing the duck pictures. I do not know what that guy in PI's problem was, like he's got some sort of insanely high standards for duck pictures for some weird reason, probably because he likes to j/o to them, is my guess. So thank you for sharing your stash of It looks like you live, or at least have access to, some really pretty places. My Score: 9.3/10 ---------------- |
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May 6, 2017 15:33
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lmbo calrissian's entry is colorful and cool. I think the pug picture is really excellent. If that was my pug I'd hang that picture up in a place of pride. It is super-well executed and conveys the essence of puggishness. I definitely see the chinese lion thing. The deer looks great in thumbnail. Up close, though, the cheapness of the materials used to create it makes it feel a little amateurish. The ibis on the other hand is going places. I like the texture of the paint and wish the entire canvas had been textured instead of there being pieces left blank. Everything that's there is great, I just wish there were a little more. My Score: 9.6/10 ---------------- |
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May 6, 2017 15:42
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congratulations to all the contestants for completing the first round of competition my scores: Hockey Jockey 9 (+1 for posting first, +1 for adorableness, +1 for doing this for a good cause) Mr Wilsauce 7 (+1 for making me laugh, -1 for technique, +1 for the most byob entry) They might be 8 (+1 for being the first to dare to sing which i'm terrified to do, +1 for music choice) Vanisher 8 (+1 for sense of humor, +1 for using multiple complicated techniques) Nsenada 8 (+1 original material, +1 singing and playing the guitar at the same time which seems really complicated to me) hot soapy beard 9 (+1 for not crashing the boat, +1 for ice cream choice. +1 for sexy accent) Eugene V Dabs 9 (+1 patience. seriously i had no idea it took so many steps to just clean the wool, +1 for beautiful work, +1 for keeping people warm) fanky malons 8 (+1 beautiful work, +1 not following entry rules (a very byob thing to do)) alnilam 10 (+1 not catching himself on fire, +1 awesome song selection, +1 original concept, +1 making music i'd actually pay to own) munchables 8 (+1 for the movie i saw before he took it down, +1 ship song made me laugh) posting smiling 9 (+1 technique, +1 humor, +1 making a gift for someone to use) pig slut lisa 7 (-1 not creating original material, +1 cute dog, +1 almost making me cry with leadup) manifisto 9 (+1 functionality, +1 working with silnylon which would just wind up in a bloody mess under my machine, +1 amazing mask) glompton 9 (+1 material choice, +1 background music choice, +1 making me laugh till i choked at math debater post reading) king of the beach 8 (+1 for first picture making me stop and stare and go "wow", +1 for pro ibis shots) lmbo 9 (+1 for using multiple mediums, +1 cool rear end doggie, +1 originality)
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May 6, 2017 16:45
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The SECRET JUDGE has spoken: Hockey Jockey Wow! This is quite the talent! However you're working with children?? Well I've spotted a few problems. First of all most of your food is healthy, you can't play Candy Crush with a bunch of oranges and other fruit! And speaking of Candy Crush why isn't this all just a smartphone app? Look I'm a kid, I don't have time for the physical world these days - who does! However I have learned maybe the most important thing I can learn about a contestant in this competition; you have great taste in stationary. I would love to take those notebooks to class with me next year as I enter the fifth grade. For this I give you an 7/10 They Might Be First off - a song, and it's not in Spotify? I had to ask my dad how to listen to such an archaic format. After he showed me I listened to the song. My dad really liked it? But to me it just sounds like old. And by that I mean not new. Maybe it was before my time? I'm just a little kid but I was hoping to hear migos or maybe Bruno Mars come in and sing something? I would rather listen to an original work, and maybe you could work with some of the hot artists of today. I give you a 5/10 MrWillsauce Wow!!! First of all, good choice not using Youtube. I'll have you know my generation is very anti-Youtube! You thanked your mom and that's good I think my mom would want me to do the same thing. But you thanked me before you even knew my score?? You know I'm just a kid right. But anyways good tutorial. I'm going to try this if my mom ever leaves me home alone again lol I hope I can still find the video. Anyway you're teaching important life skills that I will need to survive myself, but you told me in the video you're not that good at it so maybe not. You get a 7/10 because now I don't know if I would survive eating the sandwich. vanisher Hmm... well the frame rate is very low. Kids like me have our eyes trained in Mario Kart and Sports Games and can percieve the universe at a much higher frame rate than old people.. for me this felt like a slide show my grandpa would show me! You're very humble, but humble isn't what I want to see in this competition! This is winning you points toward the chill award but for the talent portion you get a 6/10 N. Senada Well it should be on Spotify and iTunes so kids like me can stream it! I wish you provided the lyrics more because some of the words are too big for me and I want to look them up? I don't know what Lovecraft is, is that like Warcraft? My dad plays that... whatever. Well it's original at least so maybe you could get a rapper or two in there next time and I'll see if we can play you at my 5th grade dance. 8/10 HotSoapyBeard Wow that's really cool! Do you ever get pirates to attack or Captain Jack Sparrow? Just some of the things I think about when I think about boats lol. My dad let me watch that movie and I think it was really funny! Well if you do I would give you a 10/10 and if you don't I would give you a 4/10 but since I don't know I will give you the middle at 9/10! Eugene V. Dabs Well if I didn't have clothes to wear I think my parents would make me work in the mines instead of being a kid so this is a really good talent. I think though... the logo is the most important part of clothes to a kid and I can't see a logo here. I don't know if it's as good as the S thing or is it just like.. a t shirt. You know? Since I'm not sure and this doesn't look like something I could do on my phone I'll give you a 7/10 Fanky Malloons These pictures are neat. I don't know if I really am a musxox though whatever that is. Haha well. The ocean is scary unless it's in a videogame so I don't know how to feel about these. They're not real but I don't think they're screenshots either? Maybe it's because I'm a kid but I don't know what these are... like they don't even look like they were drawn on a 3DS were they? Anyway they look like they would be good enemies for the underwater level but I'm more in to the... the digital. Like most kids. You get a 7/10 alnilam Hmm very good. I'm still confused why you guys don't just put music on your phone or just get a record deal so you can be on the radio. That's where my generation finds things you know. There's multiple voices in the song and I identify that since I'm still a kid and that means I still have friends and hear multiple voices every day haha but I'm sure I'll be like the rest of you when I grow up. Anyway your score is 9/10 Munchables wow! I'm a kid so I know bullying!! It happens and it's real! Your videos are good but I think some of the flames looked kind of fake? Just an observation I don't know if you caught that... you know what they say, ykids have sharp eyes lol. Well video is definitely media for the new generation. I'll give you a 8/10 I guess. posting smiling Hmm this is a gif but it's not the kind of gif I know. Where's the meme text? It's weird... seems kind of like an old person thing. Is that what computer graphics really looked like when you were a kid? Reminds me of those old Gumgy cartoons or whatever my mom made me watch. Wha'ts important here is I learned what 3d is and that it can do all kinds of stuff. Made me look forward to the future, maybe I can live in a 3d world some day. I give you a 9/10. Make it look mor elike The Witcher 3 if you want more points. pig slut lisa At first I was like.. I didn't sign up for a novel & this is way above my reading level lol. Your dog is cute and this is the saddest, most tragic song I've ever heard. Even Matty B couldn't make me cry like this it's insane. I had to listen to your song on my iPhone in the bathroom and when I came out my face was so red from crying my mom asked me what was wrong but I told her nothing and now she thinks I'm allergic to chocolate. I give this talent a 10/10 it would be even higher but now I don't get chocolate anymore. Manifisto It's neat that you make things. My main concern is who ever goes outside? lol. The future is on our phones that's what my generation is going to do. Maybe instead of making camping equipment you could make a camping app so that we could camp from our bedrooms? Just thinking. I think you're heading in the right direction and I'll give you a 7/10 City of Glompton Wow! My family always eats Quiche on summer in the Hamptons but I never thought of it this way! I can't believe how much they're mistreating me with just extra cooked omelettes. I think Graciela and I are going to have a long hard talk next time we're there. I think I'm too young to understand a lot of the rest of these. I give you a 7/10 King of the Beach My mom says photographers are just taking pictures of things God makes so I don't know if I can give you credit for these. I'm going to have to check with her before this score is official but I like the pictures. They have a very old time-y Instagram feel to them you know? Well you can have a 7/10 too. lmbo calrissian Very very nice! They remind me of what Ms. B had us doing a couple years ago with crayons. If that's really your dog he looks like he's made out of spaghetti? But I like it's a dog and the other pictures too. Hmmm. Hmmmmmmm. I'll give this a 7/10 too. ---------------- |
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May 6, 2017 20:36
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the secret judge is captain nomates |
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May 6, 2017 21:43
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it's wet nightmare... |
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May 7, 2017 01:00
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Cda's daughter/son |
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May 7, 2017 01:04
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my guess is we all want to jump the secret judge/cda's son |
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May 7, 2017 02:09
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cda posted:I'm torn on this one. On the one hand, I think even using the prospect of your best bud dying to troll people is kinda hosed up, but on the other hand, if you're going to troll you might as well commit to it and you committed real hard here. In the end, I'm not judging where you'll be spending eternity, I'm judging your talent, and this is a great longform clicker. You absolutely would have fooled me because by the time I got to the link I was having the Futurama Episode With The Dog feels and it short circuited my ability to think straight. But the link was the wrong color, and that is when I knew. Perfect points for style, just a slight demerit for execution. |
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May 7, 2017 03:14
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cda posted:MrWillsauce's entry showcases a mix of comfort and controversy. Nothing could be more BYOB than making a grilled cheese sandwich and the presentation is, in this judge's opinion, extremely chill. I appreciate the talent it took to make a grilled cheese with only one hand while filming with the other hand, and also Willsauce's ability to keep the patter going. I would listen to the audio of this video just to relax. worldstar! worldstar! |
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May 7, 2017 05:45
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I wasn't going to say anything. Given this group's general quibbling over food they'll be a rash of people coming out of the woodwork saying only wet-with-butter, warm but not actually toasted grilled cheeses are proper and anyone who actually lets one brown is a maniac. |
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May 7, 2017 07:01
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joke_explainer posted:I wasn't going to say anything. Given this group's general quibbling over food they'll be a rash of people coming out of the woodwork saying only wet-with-butter, warm but not actually toasted grilled cheeses are proper and anyone who actually lets one brown is a maniac. a chip butty is a sandwich |
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May 7, 2017 15:58
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Hi again Mx. BYOB Posting Pageant Participants! All of these talents are fantastic and it was very hard not to just give each of you 11/10 and a gold star, but here we go. hockey jockey: Wow, I love them! I have a soft spot for amigurumi and needle-felt critters. Little craft booths at street fairs kill me. And on top of that you make them for a good cause! A little extra since you kicked things off, and so in total I'm going to have to say we're starting off strong with a 10/10. Keep up your great work! MrWillsauce: Mind. Blown.  Two grilled cheeses at once? Now that's using your noggin. Very clever and useful talent. Unfortunately I am hungry, and so now I want two grilled cheese sandwiches. The bread, I feel, could also have used a little more time frying, for that crispy golden-brown goodness. 8.5/10They Might Be: Entering with a secondary talent was a bold move, and I like bold. A lovely cover and a nice way to musically kick off my morning. 9/10 Vanisher: As somebody without any gif game I appreciate things like this. An extra point for this entry's selfless nature  9/10N. Senada: How fun! The world needs more songs based on nutty Craigslist ads. Might I recommend browsing the Weird Craigslist Ads thread in PYF for more material? I'm shaving off a quarter-point, however, for not providing us with the written lyrics. How else can we sing along? 8.75/10 HotSoapyBeard: A chill job indeed! Driving a tour boat seems leagues above driving a tour bus. Get it? Leagues?? 8.5/10 Eugene V. Dabs: What a useful talent! It's so involved, too. I'm impressed by the dedication and skill it takes to get get the wool from sheep to spool, as if being able to make your own clothes wasn't cool and useful enough without throwing in the art of the craft. 10/10 Fanky Malloons: Beautiful! Even though I wasn't a fan of Freddie Lounds your illustration of her is striking. I also like that your very first piece was a gift for your best friend, so an extra half-point for that.  9.5/10alnilam: Oh wow, I love this. I'm a sucker for a nice harmony and the song you picked is great as well. This was really entirely you? Awesome. Do an album of this and I'll listen the heck out of it. 10/10 Munchables: I can't wait to check out Explosions in theaters  It's going to blow up the box offices just like Michael blows up his sets. 9/10posting smiling: Another fun talent, and I love how you used it for this contest. That avatar is pretty adorable! 9/10 pig slut lisa: Maddie's a beautiful dog, and I must say that I understand that occasional unhappy moment of "wow, I love this animal, but some day I'm going to have to bury him/her." I love the sentiment behind this and the reggae song as well, but I'm sad now. 8.5/10 Manifisto: How cool! I am also a fake-crafty person that makes small alterations to clothing and jewelry all the time. I don't think I could pull off a tent, though, let alone a working backpack! The mask is extremely cool as well. Are you sure you're not just regular crafty? 9.5/10 City of Glompton: Quiche is not pretentious, it is delicious and I love to make it. 5/10  King of the Beach: What lovely photos! The panoramic of the lake and all of the vivid green pines is probably my favorite, although I appreciate the birds as well. Keep it up! A little extra to your score for being new to the photography scene and feeling confident enough to share anyway. 9/10 and last but not least: lmbo calrissian: What a unique aesthetic. Very nice! Personality bursts from each one of these, and I'm not sure I've seen a style like yours before. 9.75/10 Thank you all for sharing and good luck in the following rounds!
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May 7, 2017 19:42
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This concludes the TALENT PORTION of our Posting Pageant. At the end of this round, the standings are: 1. alnilam - 9.625 2. posting smiling - 9.25 3. HotSoapyBeard - 9.025 4. hockey jockey - 9 5. eugene v. dabs - 8.9 6. pig slut lisa - 8.85 7. lmbo calrissian - 8.838 8. Manifisto - 8.725 9. fanky malloons - 8.6 10. munchables - 8.525 11. N. Senada - 8.513 12. King of the Beach - 8.325 13. vanisher - 8.175 14. MrWillsauce - 7.85 15. They Might Be - 7.825 16. City of Glompton - 7.75 17, 18, 19. farg, Hogge Wild, Android Blues - 0 What we have learned: it is dangerous to broach the controversial topic of food. Yarn is much safer. ---------------- |
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May 7, 2017 19:54
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Next up: the SWIMSUIT PORTION of our Posting Pageant.  A well-toned human body is the pinnacle of aesthetic perfection, a marriage of animal grace and human vulnerability that has made it a favorite subject of artists since time immemorial. As the great thinker Henry David Thoreau once remarked "It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look," and although he did not add, "and even more gloriouser than that to sculpt a rockin beach bod," I feel certain he would have, if he had not been a weird smelly little jerk. The rules for this portion are: Contestants must post either: 1. A photograph or video of themselves in a swimsuit. 2. An artist's rendition of them in a swimsuit: any visual medium (paint, collage, crayon, digital, sculpy etc.) 3. A written description of the swimsuit they are wearing and what they look like in it.  All entries must be Safe For Work Judges are not allowed to consider the bravery of those who post a photograph in their score. There will be no points for being a confident, courageous human being who is willing to share a photograph. Judges are also not allowed to consider the creativity of any renditions or descriptions. There will be no points for being an amazing artist or writer. That's a talent, and we already judged that. Judges will consider: 1. The aesthetic qualities of the depicted body. 2. The appropriateness of the swimsuit to highlighting those aesthetic qualities. 3. The expression of positive personality characteristics which result from the pose, facial expression, swimsuit choice, and any other choices made by the poster. Entries are due by Thursday the 11th at Midnight EST. ---------------- |
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May 7, 2017 20:11
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come on in, the water's great! e: as a fun bonus, you can't really see me well but here's me catching some mad air on my fav rope swing in the whole world 
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May 7, 2017 20:57
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alnilam posted:come on in, the water's great! That's an A+ background, despite the losses you'll incur when I paste your face onto other people's naked bodies, and being called Nipple lord by me |
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May 7, 2017 22:47
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oh i really dont like people seeing me mostly naked im wearing a full wetsuit
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May 8, 2017 02:28
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I was going to explain the story behind this, but I think maybe it's better sans context??? Either way, I am wearing a swimsuit, so I assume it totally counts, pls enjoy. 
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May 8, 2017 02:44
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sig brought to you by the amazing & beautiful vanisher, feat. Helle Woods, artisinally designed by Death Sext !!!
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You see him. Large and hairy, standing in the water before you. His swimsuit a dark color gradient, with blues and greens and light stripes in between. His tubby stomach folding out of the tight waistband, the stretch marks on his sides barely visible. His man titties stare mournfully into your soul, as he scratches the seawater out of his beard. Fortunately for everyone involved, the legs of the swim trunks come down to his knees, but once he dives under a small crack appears behind him, and is then sucked under the waves. He is gone. Munchables.
Munchables fucked around with this message at 03:02 on May 8, 2017 |
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May 8, 2017 03:00
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 sry top half only due to NSFW rule... still the same havent changed one bit
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May 8, 2017 03:26
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Fanky Malloons posted:I was going to explain the story behind this, but I think maybe it's better sans context??? Either way, I am wearing a swimsuit, so I assume it totally counts, pls enjoy. No context could possibly improve this, Fanky.
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May 8, 2017 04:14
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lmbo calrissian posted:That's an A+ background, despite the losses you'll incur when I paste your face onto other people's naked bodies, and being called Nipple lord by me Awww, come on, lmbo. Al always has an adorable smile, and his hair comes pre-tousled! He's gotta win points for that.
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May 8, 2017 04:27
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King of the Beach posted:
This is fake... If you were this cool then there's no way youre on byob now |
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May 8, 2017 04:29
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May 8, 2017 05:11
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Fanky Malloons posted:I was going to explain the story behind this, but I think maybe it's better sans context??? Either way, I am wearing a swimsuit, so I assume it totally counts, pls enjoy.   
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May 8, 2017 13:26
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King of the Beach posted:
A pirate i was meant to be, swim the pools and roam the sea Is the last bit really worksafe?? Pretty steamy Munchables posted:You see him. Large and hairy, standing in the water before you. His swimsuit a dark color gradient, with blues and greens and light stripes in between. His tubby stomach folding out of the tight waistband, the stretch marks on his sides barely visible. His man titties stare mournfully into your soul, as he scratches the seawater out of his beard. Fortunately for everyone involved, the legs of the swim trunks come down to his knees, but once he dives under a small crack appears behind him, and is then sucked under the waves. He is gone. Munchables. I'm picturing the small crack that appears as being some kind of unreal void, a tear in time and space, and it suits you very well |
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May 8, 2017 13:30
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I present to you 'Man Lounging at Beach next to Atlantic Ocean in January See how the model's pose invokes The Creation of Adam, the famous fresco by Micheal the Angel--O. But, we notice slight subversion that transforms this homage into satire! Notice the alcohol gut which rests ever so gently over the groin, as if to say "Adam's perfect six-pack can suck it." Rather than head tilted demurely downward, the model's head rises confidently facing the right of the picture. A firmness that indicates strength, perhaps, rebellion? Moreover, the model is wearing shorts, telling God that the wiener is nobody's business except my body's! Furthermore, long hair pulled into a pony tail contrasts with adam's weird mullet. I'm not sure what that could mean, maybe that a man is like a horse of course, or something, whatever. The most notable absence, obv, is that God's not in the shot, a very dramatic statement as to God's role in our day-to-day lives. Sure, maybe you were there when you created Adam but what have you done for me recently? And don't bullshit me about the footprints, I'm on the beach, I can see who they belong to (spoilers: it's me, rear end in a top hat!). For reference, the other, not as good picture: 
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May 8, 2017 14:38
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Happy halloween |
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Before I even saw the gif I knew "incomming swimsuit bird!" The snorkel, floaties, and flippers bird is great, lol!
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May 8, 2017 14:43
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Yeah I guess Fanky's pic is OK if we just ignore how problematic and not-PC it is for a tiger to wear a woman costume |
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May 8, 2017 14:45
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N. Senada posted:I present to you yea w/o even reading that was the first thing that came to mind...only thing i myself would have done differently would have been to pose in the breaking waves so then it would have been like The Creation of Adam meets the music video for Cherish by Madonna (which are obv both wonderful werks of art in their own special ways) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8q2WS6ahCnY Fanky Malloons posted:I was going to explain the story behind this, but I think maybe it's better sans context??? Either way, I am wearing a swimsuit, so I assume it totally counts, pls enjoy. u are of a high aesthetic quality and prob a blast to hang w/  alnilam posted:come on in, the water's great! nice cheekbones and ur confidence is quite admirable - ive always wanted to grow my hair out to that length but imho it doesnt work for me nearly as well...maybe if i lived in Australia or if I was like backpacking for months at a time id consider giving it an honest try tho lmbo calrissian posted:This is fake... If you were this cool then there's no way youre on byob now i swear it really is me...ofc im not nearly as cool but i still try! anyways i guess it really is true what ppl seem to say about yobbers being beautiful specimens and all...
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May 8, 2017 15:59
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King of the Beach posted:
bad rear end
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May 8, 2017 16:03
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I was worried when I saw the criteria for this round. Firstly, I haven't owned a swimsuit since I thankfully left school, secondly I wouldn't make my worst enemy look at a photo of me in one and thirdly I have no art skills whatsoever even allowing for that aspect not being judged. Then I remembered that I own all the crafting materials in the western world. So this is my conceptual art piece 'Homely Woman in a Bikini'. The white tissue paper accurately represents my pasty English skin and the body shape is also more accurate than one might wish. Please notice my specially done pageant make-up and hair. I'm ready for my close-up! 
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May 8, 2017 16:49
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we need behind the scenes interviews about whats going through the contestant's heads, they could talk about tentative alliance hockey jockey and posting smiling have formed to take down anilam, etc
joke_explainer fucked around with this message at 08:13 on May 9, 2017 |
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May 8, 2017 17:43
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Hitler failed WWII sorry to bring this up at a bad time
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May 9, 2017 11:12
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 07:24 |
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Um I thought I would wait and post mine without looking at the other contestants so I don't bottle it and that may have been a mistake
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May 10, 2017 10:09
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