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Guavanaut
Nov 27, 2009

Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998




Toilet Rascal


This month we barrel headlong towards a snap general election on June 8th following local elections across Great Britain this Thursday, the EU provides a framework for a united Ireland, war rhetoric ramps up as we promise to follow Trump into Hell, Tim Farron finally lays out his position on mixed fabrics, and the foreign secretary accuses Jeremy Corbyn of being a 19th century conservative.

Also some bad news for Kate McCann?


In The News
• The Bank of England is implicated in Libor rigging by secret recordings.
• Two men wearing burqas as disguises carried out an armed robbery in Leicester, look out for exciting and totally not predictable responses from the usual outlets.
• A man has a bread knife near Parliament. This is big news. Police shoot a woman in her home in Willesden. Maybe she also had a bread knife in her kitchen. There are conflicting reports, but the woman may have been handcuffed prior to being shot.
• Britain goes a full day without using coal power to generate electricity for the first time since the Industrial Revolution. Unfortunately a chunk of the replacement is unsustainably forested biomass.
• Suspicious packages containing white powder have been sent to SNP offices, after there was nobody to sign for them at George Osborne's.
• Sadiq Khan cancels the stupid waste of money known as the garden bridge before Boris's friends can suck any more public funding through it. They still manage to get away with over £30m.
• Leo Baxendale, creator of The Bash Street Kids and anti-war newsletter The Strategic Commentary, dies. Unlike certain other cartoonists he eventually recognized that drawing blackface minstrel caricatures was in poor taste. Little Plum though...
• David Cameron has bought a £25k designer garden shed to touch livestock and write books in.
• North Korea has a missile capable of hitting Shetland.
• Paper fivers stop being legal tender this week. You can still use them to negotiate private debts on mutual agreement as long as the shop doesn't have a gold fringed flag.
• Nick Cohen badly misquotes Voltaire to make some kind of hot take about how the left are the real intolerant ones.


UKMT Book Bus
The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists – Robert Tressell
Liberalism, a Counter History – Domenico Losurdo
The Method of Freedom – Malatesta
Declaration – Hardt and Negri
Libertarian Communism – Isaac Puente Amestoy
Violence – Slavoj Zizek
Imperialism, the Highest Stage of Capitalism – V I Lenin
Anarchism and Other Essays – Emma Goldman
Social Reform or Revolution – Rosa Luxemburg
Ecology of Freedom – Murray Bookchin
Let's Read Das Kapital – Karl Marx and Goons



Mayday Mayday Mayday

International Museum Day
UKMT April 2017
UKMT March 2017
UKMT February 2017
UKMT January 2017
UKMT December 2016

World Whisky Day
Scotpol Thread

Channel Islands Liberation Day
EDL/Fash Thread

Cinco de Mayo
Europol Thread

Take a Girl Child to Work Day
Paedogeddon/Press Corruption Thread

Golden Spike Day
Trainchat Thread

Free Comic Book Day
Political Cartoons Thread

International Virtual Assistants Day
#ukgoons on synIRC (thanks crispix).

International Hug Your Cat Day

quote:

1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor;
2. It's not their fault if they are disabled;
3. Neo-liberalism doesn't work;
4. The Daily Mail lies (maybe even about Pig Dave and charity);
5. Neo-liberalism has never worked;
6. The British Empire was not a force for good;
7. Neo-liberalism will never work;
8. Trans people are not "men in dresses";
9. Gendered insults are not okay;
10. If something is "so gay" it had better be something that is really happy;
11. Trains are awesome;
12. The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles;
13. Ni dieu, ni maξtre, nae hope.

Also over half the country is either an open ethnic nationalist or has 'common sense' views about same:

MikeCrotch posted:

Depressing crosspost from C-Spam - who likes open ethnic nationalism?


Guavanaut fucked around with this message at May 25, 2017 around 12:05

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hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
I LOVE MY ASSAULT RIFLE 15 WITH ITS HIGH CAPACITY CLIP/MAGAZINE


Gravy Boat 2k

If corbyn had made the party's motto for the election "Make June the End of May" he might, just might, have had a chance.

Purple Prince
Aug 20, 2011


hakimashou posted:

If corbyn had made the party's motto for the election "Make June the End of May" he might, just might, have had a chance.

It's the unofficial motto on the campaign trail.

jBrereton
May 29, 2013

by Smythe


Grimey Drawer

How do paper scottish fivers come into play with this plastic nonsense

TheHoodedClaw
Jul 26, 2008



jBrereton posted:

How do paper scottish fivers come into play with this plastic nonsense

They are all plastic too.

Guavanaut
Nov 27, 2009

Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998




Toilet Rascal

I got a Clydesdale Bank fiver in the pub on Saturday and it was also poly.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



Muldoon

Disappointed at the lack of a link to the best uk thread in that op. Recent discussions include stuff about my balls. Fluo (rip), a forum users home address and the dire state of sainsburys meal deals.

We also talk about the JAM MAN

Namtab
Feb 22, 2010



Karen's power intensifies



Is it just me or has there been a lot of non-news about maddie lately?

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!


make June the END of MAY

Angepain
Jul 13, 2012



Guavanaut posted:

I got a Clydesdale Bank fiver in the pub on Saturday and it was also poly.

just because you like to press together your cash and pretend Nan Shepherd is making out with the Queen does not mean they're capable of forming romantic relationships

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!


Namtab posted:

Is it just me or has there been a lot of non-news about maddie lately?

that clemunt freud tottally killed her

LemonDrizzle
Mar 28, 2012

neoliberal shithead


The German newspaper FAZ has an account of the midweek dinner meeting between May/Davis and Juncker, which is really not complimentary at all of the PM; the Economist's Berlin bureau chief did a translation of the highlights on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JeremyCliffe/st...810953353367552

quote:

1) May had said she wanted to talk not just Brexit but also world problems; but in practice it fell to Juncker to propose one to discuss.
2) May has made clear to the Commission that she fully expects to be reelected as PM.
3) It is thought [in the Commission] that May wants to frustrate the daily business of the EU27, to improve her own negotiating position.
4) May seemed pissed off at Davis for regaling her dinner guests of his ECJ case against her data retention measures - three times.
5) EU side were astonished at May's suggestion that EU/UK expats issue could be sorted at EU Council meeting at the end of June.
6) Juncker objected to this timetable as way too optimistic given complexities, eg on rights to health care.
7) Juncker pulled two piles of paper from his bag: Croatia's EU entry deal, Canada's free trade deal. His point: Brexit will be v v complex.
8) May wanted to work through the Brexit talks in monthly, 4-day blocks; all confidential until the end of the process.
9) Commission said impossible to reconcile this with need to square off member states & European Parliament, so documents must be published.
10) EU side felt May was seeing whole thing through rose-tinted-glasses. "Let us make Brexit a success" she told them.
11) Juncker countered that Britain will now be a third state, not even (like Turkey) in the customs union: "Brexit cannot be a success".
12) May seemed surprised by this and seemed to the EU side not to have been fully briefed.

13) She cited her own JHA opt-out negotiations as home sec as a model: a mutually useful agreement meaning lots on paper, little in reality.
14) May's reference to the JHA (justice and home affairs) opt-outs set off alarm signals for the EU side. This was what they had feared.
15) ie as home sec May opted out of EU measures (playing to UK audience) then opted back in, and wrongly thinks she can do same with Brexit
16) "The more I hear, the more sceptical I become" said Juncker (this was only half way through the dinner)
17) May then insisted to Juncker et al that UK owes EU no money because there is nothing to that effect in the treaties.
18) Her guests then informed her that the EU is not a golf club
19) Davis then objected that EU could not force a post-Brexit, post-ECJ UK to pay the bill. OK, said Juncker, then no trade deal.

20) ...leaving EU27 with UK's unpaid bills will involve national parliaments in process (a point that Berlin had made *repeatedly* before).
21) "I leave Downing St ten times as sceptical as I was before" Juncker told May as he left
22) Next morning at c7am Juncker called Merkel on her mobile, said May living in another galaxy & totally deluding herself
23) Merkel quickly reworked her speech to Bundestag to include her now-famous "some in Britain still have illusions" comment
24) FAZ concludes: May in election mode & playing to crowd, but what use is a big majority won by nurturing delusions of Brexit hardliners?
25) Juncker's team now think it more likely than not that Brexit talks will collapse & hope Brits wake up to harsh realities in time.
26) What to make of it all? Obviously this leak is a highly tactical move by Commission. But contents deeply worrying for UK nonetheless.
27) The report points to major communications/briefing problems. Important messages from Berlin & Brussels seem not to be getting through.
28) Presumably as a result, May seems to be labouring under some really rather fundamental misconceptions about Brexit & the EU27.
29) Also clear that (as some of us have been warning for a while...) No 10 should expect every detail of the Brexit talks to leak.

e: the Reuters writeup of the article is here: http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-br...y-idUKKBN17W09L

Unfortunately, this is likely to be an ongoing feature of the brexit farce, with the EU perspective on the proceedings being primarily reported in non-English language sources and thus less visible to the UK public. Also, the bit about expecting every aspect of the talks to leak no matter how much May rabbits on about wanting to avoid giving away Britain's hand or whatever is spot on - the exact same thing happened during the "negotiations" between the EU/eurogroup/troika and the Greek government, which is the most similar situation I can think of.

LemonDrizzle fucked around with this message at Apr 30, 2017 around 23:50

jBrereton
May 29, 2013

by Smythe


Grimey Drawer

TheHoodedClaw posted:

They are all plastic too.
Yeah I'm saying I have some paper ones, they are presumably not usable anymore right?

Angepain
Jul 13, 2012



LemonDrizzle posted:

The German newspaper FAZ has an account of the midweek dinner meeting between May/Davis and Juncker, which is really not complementary at all of the PM; the Economist's Berlin bureau chief did a translation of the highlights on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JeremyCliffe/st...810953353367552


e: the Reuters writeup of the article is here: http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-br...y-idUKKBN17W09L

Unfortunately, this is likely to be an ongoing feature of the brexit farce, with the EU perspective on the proceedings being primarily reported in non-English language sources and thus less visible to the UK public.

strong and stable leadership

Ms Adequate
Oct 29, 2011

Horned hellgod from another dimension and also trans


Wow it's EXACTLY like us Remainers were saying all along.

TheHoodedClaw
Jul 26, 2008



jBrereton posted:

Yeah I'm saying I have some paper ones, they are presumably not usable anymore right?

Same use-by schedule as BoE paper notes, I think. If a retailer won't take them, a bank branch will.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

I thought the redtext someone dumped on you was in bad taste and a bit much so here's a corgi instead.

Mister Adequate posted:

Wow it's EXACTLY like us Remainers were saying all along.

Umm, I think you'll find we're actually remoaners, and we probably hijacked the talks to make the Prime Minister sound like a horrifically out-of-her-depth buffoon purely so we can smugly say "I told you so" to the real patriots who should hang us as traitors to God, King & Country once we're out of the dastardly cultural Marxist cult that is the ECHR.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

I thought the redtext someone dumped on you was in bad taste and a bit much so here's a corgi instead.

jBrereton posted:

Yeah I'm saying I have some paper ones, they are presumably not usable anymore right?

Down south? No idea. But up here, I've definitely had one fiver accepted in the past 3 or 4 months, maybe more. They are definitely not common any more but I think you should be able to still use them.

I was meant to quote this and then edit into the previous post but I forgot. Oh well.

Prince John
Jun 19, 2006

Oh, poppycock! Female bandits?



LemonDrizzle posted:

Unfortunately, this is likely to be an ongoing feature of the brexit farce, with the EU perspective on the proceedings being primarily reported in non-English language sources and thus less visible to the UK public.

Oh dear. I shall cling to the folorn hope that this is also a bit of psychological warfare ahead of the election given the Commission sources. But sadly, I think it all rings quite true.

jBrereton
May 29, 2013

by Smythe


Grimey Drawer

LemonDrizzle posted:

The German newspaper FAZ has an account of the midweek dinner meeting between May/Davis and Juncker, which is really not complimentary at all of the PM; the Economist's Berlin bureau chief did a translation of the highlights on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JeremyCliffe/st...810953353367552


e: the Reuters writeup of the article is here: http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-br...y-idUKKBN17W09L

Unfortunately, this is likely to be an ongoing feature of the brexit farce, with the EU perspective on the proceedings being primarily reported in non-English language sources and thus less visible to the UK public.
I'm loving glad that this thing is being done with the best intentions by both sides, with the reasonable concerns hundreds of millions of EU + UK citizens taken into account, not the ego of a guy who let the EU collapse and some smug prick and his schoolteacher mistress taking charge.

jabby
Oct 27, 2010



So apparently Michael Foster, the Labour donor suspended last year for comparing Corbyn supporters to Nazi stormtroopers, is going to stand against Corbyn in Islington if he doesn't step down.

What is it with wealthy donors recently and thinking they can actually stand for election and win, especially as in independent? Does the money just go to their head and they figure they clearly will be made MP if they just throw some cash at the situation?

vodkat
Jun 30, 2012



cannot legally be sold as vodka


jabby posted:

So apparently Michael Foster, the Labour donor suspended last year for comparing Corbyn supporters to Nazi stormtroopers, is going to stand against Corbyn in Islington if he doesn't step down.

What is it with wealthy donors recently and thinking they can actually stand for election and win, especially as in independent? Does the money just go to their head and they figure they clearly will be made MP if they just throw some cash at the situation?

By islington standards he's not even that wealthy!

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends


Grimey Drawer

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!



Wealthy donors without fail think themselves bigger than the party, and see any success of the party as being related directly to them. They normally don't stand once the amount of work involved in running, the level of press scrutiny they would receive and how expensive it ends up being becomes clear to them. They always give themselves an out when they make their declarations. The UKP guy said he would only stand against the UKIP traitor, Foster says only if the locals are a "disaster" without establishing what would qualify as such for him.

jabby
Oct 27, 2010



Skinty McEdger posted:

Wealthy donors without fail think themselves bigger than the party, and see any success of the party as being related directly to them. They normally don't stand once the amount of work involved in running, the level of press scrutiny they would receive and how expensive it ends up being becomes clear to them. They always give themselves an out when they make their declarations. The UKP guy said he would only stand against the UKIP traitor, Foster says only if the locals are a "disaster" without establishing what would qualify as such for him.

Plus of course they have no interest in being an MP, and seem to equate the election to some kind of beauty contest where you get given a trophy at the end rather than a full time job.

suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!


LemonDrizzle posted:

The German newspaper FAZ has an account of the midweek dinner meeting between May/Davis and Juncker, which is really not complimentary at all of the PM; the Economist's Berlin bureau chief did a translation of the highlights on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JeremyCliffe/st...810953353367552


e: the Reuters writeup of the article is here: http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-br...y-idUKKBN17W09L

Unfortunately, this is likely to be an ongoing feature of the brexit farce, with the EU perspective on the proceedings being primarily reported in non-English language sources and thus less visible to the UK public. Also, the bit about expecting every aspect of the talks to leak no matter how much May rabbits on about wanting to avoid giving away Britain's hand or whatever is spot on - the exact same thing happened during the "negotiations" between the EU/eurogroup/troika and the Greek government, which is the most similar situation I can think of.

UKMT May 2015: national delusion awareness month

please name UKMT June 2015: the blind electing the stupid

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

It is a powerful visual metaphor for my posting.


It's 2017?

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011



OwlFancier posted:

It's 2017?

That's one heck of a delusion.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017



American here, is there any reason I don't want Corbyn to win?

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

It is a powerful visual metaphor for my posting.


Taintrunner posted:

American here, is there any reason I don't want Corbyn to win?

If May wins we take back the "stupidest country on the planet" title belt.

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!


OwlFancier posted:

If May wins we take back the "stupidest country on the planet" title belt.

i dunno turkey just voted to have a dictatorship

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!


u could say they voted for christmas

baka kaba
Jul 19, 2003

PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT



LemonDrizzle posted:

The German newspaper FAZ has an account of the midweek dinner meeting between May/Davis and Juncker, which is really not complimentary at all of the PM; the Economist's Berlin bureau chief did a translation of the highlights on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JeremyCliffe/st...810953353367552


e: the Reuters writeup of the article is here: http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-br...y-idUKKBN17W09L

drat this is all gold. We've had some rare political honesty from the Tories lately, when they've been giving the impression they have absolutely no idea what they're doing. Hide under some coats and it will all work out

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

It is a powerful visual metaphor for my posting.


JFairfax posted:

i dunno turkey just voted to have a dictatorship

I mean, that's a very classical way to get a dictatorship.

ronya
Nov 8, 2010

I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.


Taintrunner posted:

American here, is there any reason I don't want Corbyn to win?

he's got weird foreign policy hobbyhorses that the United States domestic politics also tends to be also involved in, not necessarily on the same side - you can be sure that at least someone in the Irish National Caucus wishes they were relevant again.

conversely there's an undying faith on the part of British leftists that makes them think that they are automatically invited to comment on Latin American affairs by virtue of international solidarity. This plays for their audiences but starts totally unnecessary piles of diplomatic paperwork for yours.

the popularity of "smart" sanctions instead of blunt hammers or more aggressive approaches is contingent on a certain degree of consensus, particularly amongst financial centers, as to who or what belongs on the target list.

You can be drat well sure nobody in Belgium paid any price for unanimously cheering the withdrawal from UNAMIR in 1994. Dehaenes at least has the excuse that it was Rwandans or the Euro, and he'd rather have the Euro - he plausibly didn't do it just to score points at home, although he was certainly awarded those points.

e: alternate post: because this card works much better for the USSR player

ronya fucked around with this message at May 1, 2017 around 05:07

Regarde Aduck
Oct 18, 2012



Grimey Drawer

ronya posted:

he's got weird foreign policy hobbyhorses that the United States domestic politics also tends to be also involved in, not necessarily on the same side - you can be sure that at least someone in the Irish National Caucus wishes they were relevant again.

conversely there's an undying faith on the part of British leftists that makes them think that they are automatically invited to comment on Latin American affairs by virtue of international solidarity. This plays for their audiences but starts totally unnecessary piles of diplomatic paperwork for yours.

the popularity of "smart" sanctions instead of blunt hammers or more aggressive approaches is contingent on a certain degree of consensus, particularly amongst financial centers, as to who or what belongs on the target list.

You can be drat well sure nobody in Belgium paid any price for unanimously cheering the withdrawal from UNAMIR in 1994. Dehaenes at least has the excuse that it was Rwandans or the Euro, and he'd rather have the Euro - he plausibly didn't do it just to score points at home, although he was certainly awarded those points.

e: alternate post: because this card works much better for the USSR player



Ok.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007



i'm glad blair is promising to get his hands dirty and help Theresa May get re-elected because shes what this country needs

Sulphagnist
Oct 10, 2006

WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED



ronya posted:

e: alternate post: because this card works much better for the USSR player



I don't think there's a single other card I've sent to space more than Soc Govts. Maybe Decolonization? But Decolonization loses its potency later in the game, Soc Govts is dangerous throughout the game because The Iron Lady is virtually always better spent as points. I guess you could get lucky and have USSR draw it.

(I usually play US despite myself because it's the tougher side to play.)

Purple Prince
Aug 20, 2011


Jose posted:

i'm glad blair is promising to get his hands dirty and help Theresa May get re-elected because shes what this country needs

Pretty sure this is grounds for suspension from the party.

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Dan Didio
Apr 6, 2009

OMG!! WeareSOawesome!!



Jose posted:

i'm glad blair is promising to get his hands dirty and help Theresa May get re-elected because shes what this country needs

Anything to cover the blood, I suppose.

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