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Will Jon Jones ever fight in the UFC again?
This poll is closed.
Yes 59 56.73%
No 45 43.27%
Total: 104 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
  • Locked thread
threeagainstfour
Jun 27, 2005


I think women's 125 should be cool and certainly makes way more sense than creating an entire division with approximately three or four fighters just for Cyborg to never fight in.

There's plenty of women too small for 135, but far too big for 115, Valerie and Calderwood being the prime examples I could think of off the top of my head. Maybe we could see the loser of Joanna vs Jessica move up as well.

It could also be a good class for fighters to move up to as they get older. I could see Rose Namajunas doing really well at 125.

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Okuteru
Nov 10, 2007

Choose this life you're on your own

kensei posted:

Robbie Lawler vs. Cowboy Cerrone at UFC 213 on July 8!

I'm hype but Donald is gonna get wrecked :(

Someone on this forum once said Cerrone fights like Condit if he had less heart and durability, but better wrestling. Lawler gonna light him up.

Brown Paper Bag
Nov 3, 2012

Nunes v Shevchenko likely to be added as well.

vainman
Nov 2, 2012

I find your lack of faith... disturbing
I think Cowboy has tremendous heart to keep putting his liver out there to be killed

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

InfiniteZero posted:

drunkenly threatens Eddie Bravo in a hotel lobby.

They were arguing. Eddie said he and Bisping are still cool. Plus Eddie Bravo is an absolute idiot when it comes to non-Jiu Jitsu related things so I'm pretty sure Bisping getting mad at him wasn't really that bad of a thing.

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

vainman posted:

I think Cowboy has tremendous heart to keep putting his liver out there to be killed

I think .... the liver and the heart ... they arent related. theyre too different

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD
I mean if you get general enough, sure, they're I guess both organs in the body that you need to live with average standup. But the heart pumps blood throughout the body and mostly sets it's wrestling up with quick, lunging hooks; whereas the liver processes toxins and usually fades hard in the fourth round.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Work Friend Keven posted:

I mean if you get general enough, sure, they're I guess both organs in the body that you need to live with average standup. But the heart pumps blood throughout the body and mostly sets it's wrestling up with quick, lunging hooks; whereas the liver processes toxins and usually fades hard in the fourth round.

Maybe your liver fades in the fourth, but some of us put our livers through serious endurance training. I want my liver to be as fresh at the end of the fifth as it was in the first.

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


kensei posted:

Robbie Lawler vs. Cowboy Cerrone at UFC 213 on July 8!

I'm hype but Donald is gonna get wrecked :(

Fight's too cool, gonna get cancelled.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Skip My Posts posted:

hey remember this brutal poo poo



Apparently Goes had a brain bleed after that, which isn't surprising considering he's getting shunted out of the ring solely via getting kneed directly on the top of the head. It's like violent furniture rearranging

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Apparently Goes had a brain bleed after that,

whoa. i mean, i'm not surprised eirther, but loving hell.

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Work Friend Keven posted:

I mean if you get general enough, sure, they're I guess both organs in the body that you need to live with average standup. But the heart pumps blood throughout the body and mostly sets it's wrestling up with quick, lunging hooks; whereas the liver processes toxins and usually fades hard in the fourth round.

Fine ... i concede defeat. yes it is true that the liver and the heart are actually literally the same organ even if there are some minor stylistic differences in how they function

Wise Learned Man
Apr 22, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Lipstick Apathy

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Apparently Goes had a brain bleed after that, which isn't surprising considering he's getting shunted out of the ring solely via getting kneed directly on the top of the head. It's like violent furniture rearranging

It's time.

quote:

Lemme tell you a true story.

Back in early 2004, I was impersonating Wes Sims for a few months as part of a bet. So me and The Hammer, we're going to Ikea, cause he needs to buy a chair, right? Nothing fancy, just a simple office chair with good lumbar support, cause he'd hurt his back a little fighting Fedor. So we're in Ikea, looking through all the Bjorns and Karls and Fingords and whatever the gently caress else they call the loving furniture, and Coleman's hopping in and out of the little display models, stretching and going "UUUURGH" and all "I don't like this one, these arms are gonna piss me off if I buy this and stuff".

Eventually we settle on one, I forget which, and we go looking for a member of staff. We find one, pimply little motherfucker, and he's all "Uh I'll need to go get a forklift driver cause it's kinda heavy" and, well, Mark is obviously a strong dude and we don't wanna wait cause we gotta go get our Swedish Meatball on, so we go with this dude to the warehouse, and we're gonna carry the chair ourselves, y'know? And that's when it goes bad. Somewhere on the other side of the warehouse, some numbnuts drops something, BANG, just like that.

And Mark lets instinct take over.

First victim is the pimply kid, cause I'd gotten used to Coleman by this point and got a pallet jack between me and him as soon as I heard the bang. The kid, obviously not too wise on his PRIDE, takes it like a sandbag, straight down, his head hitting the concrete floor like a canteloupe. Pretty grody.

Mark realises what he's done, and obviously he's pretty stressed, and for some hosed up reason there's, like, sixty display chairs and tables set up in the warehouse, must be about to be taken out to the shop floor for a display, except he doesn't see that, he just sees a forest of legs, all of them in pairs. It was like watching a bull slew through a bunch of paraplegics, I tell you. He's just BAM, double leg, BAM, double leg, BAM, double leg, shouting and bellowing the whole way. He gasses after his first five or six, but keeps BAM double legging them, for a whole twenty minutes. Last thing I remember of that godawful carnage, as I booked it out of a back door and the cops arrive, is a mental image, startling in its clarity still, of Mark Coleman doing the whizzer on a BERTIL, his face as orange as Hell's own glow.

It took a few cops to bring him in, of course. Eventually one of them made sergeant by screaming "THIS IS K-1 RULES!" in his face and cuffing him while he was confused. The trial was called off when the jury all got mysteriously injured a few days before, and the judge didn't post his arm correctly and dislocated his elbow. The only reporter foolhardy enough to try and cover the story got as far as "Noted cage fighter Mark "The Hammer"" before getting double-legged right through his own desk. As for me? Well, I won my bet. Easiest sixteen bucks I ever made.

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Apparently Goes had a brain bleed after that, which isn't surprising considering he's getting shunted out of the ring solely via getting kneed directly on the top of the head. It's like violent furniture rearranging

drat

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

gently caress yes

TheRationalRedditor
Jul 17, 2000

WHO ABUSED HIM. WHO ABUSED THE BOY.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Apparently Goes had a brain bleed after that, which isn't surprising considering he's getting shunted out of the ring solely via getting kneed directly on the top of the head. It's like violent furniture rearranging
Which region of the brain is even tearing from that directional impact? You never see it and it's moving toward the stem!!

turntabler
Sep 10, 2011

TheRationalRedditor posted:

Which region of the brain is even tearing from that directional impact? You never see it and it's moving toward the stem!!

I don't think you could accurately predict which area of the brain will be affected off mechanism. The site of injury would more likely occur at a site of vascular weakness that would be unique to each individual and injury, but probably with some more commonly occurring ones via a certain mechanism of injury.

Also it would more likely be a subdural or subarachnoid haemorrhage (bleeding in the protective tissue layers around the brain) as opposed to a true intracerebral bleed (bleeding in the brain itself):

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subdural_hematoma
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subarachnoid_hemorrhage
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intracerebral_hemorrhage

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_brain_injury

Life hack for the day: if you suddenly develop the worst headache of your life primarily focused in the back of your head you prob need to call an ambulance.

turntabler fucked around with this message at 10:30 on May 4, 2017

Belgian Waffle
Jul 31, 2006

I read and enjoy this every time it's posted. Thank you.


Josuke Higashikata posted:

Fight's too cool, gonna get cancelled.

I'm blaming you when it does.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man



"Back in early 2004, I was impersonating Wes Sims for a few months as part of a bet" is probably the weirdest sentence in MMA.

Why would anyone impersonate Wes Sims? For those who don't know, Wes Sims is a tall gangly goofball heavyweight who scored one of the most blatant DQs in UFC history against Frank Mir (two-handed cage grab + face stomp), and then lost brutally in a rematch. He was on TUF 10 where he lost in the first round to Justin Wren. Not long after that a midwestern athletic commission declared him unfit to fight Tim Sylvia.

tesilential
Nov 22, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
The liver was always bad

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
Thats why it was cut from the UFC and now has to fight for Pancreas

DrBrezo
May 13, 2009

I.N.R.I posted:

Thats why it was cut from the UFC and now has to fight for Pancreas

lol

The MUMPSorceress
Jan 6, 2012


^SHTPSTS

Gary’s Answer

I.N.R.I posted:

Thats why it was cut from the UFC and now has to fight for Pancreas

Rigel
Nov 11, 2016

Gay Horney posted:

im saying i really really really really loving really do not want to see a women's 125 division

That seems like a weird opinion to have, given that w115 and w135 badly need a bridge.

The MUMPSorceress
Jan 6, 2012


^SHTPSTS

Gary’s Answer
I think people are starting to realize that tiny person fights are exciting even though they don't have the "someone could die at any time" appeal of HW and it makes sense for the UFC to give themselves more divisions where you can develop talent that will have fast exciting fights instead of piling up the heavier divisions with a bunch of dead weight midwestern cornboys with no cardio to have tepid gassy fights to fill cards.

Also, if the UFC is still trying for that "Be a Real Sport" thing, it's better to have smaller rosters in each weight class that can credibly claim to be the top 15-20 fighters at that weight in the world than to have weird gaps in your women's weight classes because half your roster is lightweights no one has ever heard of.

Disgusting Coward
Feb 17, 2014

CommonShore posted:

"Back in early 2004, I was impersonating Wes Sims for a few months as part of a bet" is probably the weirdest sentence in MMA.

Why would anyone impersonate Wes Sims? For those who don't know, Wes Sims is a tall gangly goofball heavyweight who scored one of the most blatant DQs in UFC history against Frank Mir (two-handed cage grab + face stomp), and then lost brutally in a rematch. He was on TUF 10 where he lost in the first round to Justin Wren. Not long after that a midwestern athletic commission declared him unfit to fight Tim Sylvia.

Hey now that's a little harsh. Dude also invented that weird guard where he hugs his own rear end.

tesilential
Nov 22, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Last I heard Wes Sims was scheduled to fight Chael's 50 year old friend and podcast cohost "Joel" in a pro match for charity.

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


Chael's co-host always comes across as an obnoxious dick, so I'm not too surprised that a professional fighter is lined up to kick his rear end.

Bundt Cake
Aug 17, 2003
;(
did we laff at this yet http://mmaimports.com/2017/05/cerrone-ill-have-sex-with-a-man-on-live-t-v-for-25-million/

1st AD
Dec 3, 2004

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.

Huh, that's weird because he got hosed hard by Masvidal on live TV and only made $111k.

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



1st AD posted:

Huh, that's weird because he got hosed hard by Masvidal on live TV and only made $111k.

Lmao

Ditch
Jul 29, 2003

Backdrop Hunger

1st AD posted:

Huh, that's weird because he got hosed hard by Masvidal on live TV and only made $111k.
:drat:

FishBowlRobot
Mar 21, 2006



Josuke Higashikata posted:

Chael's co-host always comes across as an obnoxious dick, so I'm not too surprised that a professional fighter is lined up to kick his rear end.

It's a rematch. Sims already kicked his rear end a long time ago.

Soothing Vapors
Mar 26, 2006

Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

FishBowlRobot posted:

It's a rematch. Sims already kicked his rear end a long time ago.

in under a minute, if I'm remembering the fight right

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

In related news, https://www.gofundme.com/atom

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist



lmao

TheRationalRedditor
Jul 17, 2000

WHO ABUSED HIM. WHO ABUSED THE BOY.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X_Ot0k4XJc

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man



It's redirecting me to the Canadian site and I can't see it. Please provide a summary or screenshot or something.

willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries

CommonShore posted:

It's redirecting me to the Canadian site and I can't see it. Please provide a summary or screenshot or something.

Same

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Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD

(Reflexively throws all my credit cards at my monitor)

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