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The Architect: You've done well to make it this far, Neo, but your an outdated model now, and the prophecy has changed; you have no hope in defeating...The Two. [A dark trenchcoated figure steps out from a smoky hallway suddenly behind Neo, Tv screens and florescent lights are reflected in his mirrored shades] The Two: [smirking] Prepare to be deleted, old man. |
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May 2, 2017 19:13
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:06 |
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(((Writers note: The Two's hacker handle is WOT, which is an anagram of two)))
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May 2, 2017 19:18
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Neo: (doing his karate hands thing) Why is he called The Two? (The Two squats down, poops in his hand and throws it at Neo who dodges using the slow motion thing).
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May 2, 2017 19:22
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(THE TWO and QUADRINITY are in dire straits, lots of the squid robots are closing in as they are stuck on top of a tower) TT: "Oh no, we're never gonna get out of this one" Q: "Yeah" (in the distance we can see a bright white point of light start accelerating towards the tower, the camera zooming out and spinning around as the shining beacon winds its way up through the air around the tower before swooping over its top) CUT TO: (The Two and Quadrinity now flying through the air, suspended by their jackets, camera pans up to reveal CHANNING TATUM) CT: "Yes, that's right, it's me, the dog-man with rocket boots from Jupiter Ascending. I'm in this movie as well. It's a shared universe." (CHANNING TATUM looks directly into the camera and smirks handsomely) |
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May 2, 2017 20:59
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[It's quiet now. QUADRINITY and CHANNING TATUM are having an intimate moment] Q: Look out, Channing Tatum! CT: Huh? [CHANNING TATUM is hit in the face by A HUGE PIECE OF poo poo thrown by THE TWO. QUADRINITY reaches out] Q: [in slow motion] Nooooooo [CHANNING TATUM lies on the ground, poo poo-faced. It's our heroes' darkest hour]
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May 2, 2017 21:12
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[NEO sits inside the prophet's kitchen, empty candy wrappers strewn about him] NEO: What can I do, THE PROPHET, no matter how good I am, THE TWO just seems to be one better! THE PROPHET: Well sugar, maybe you should just up him even more than that! [FIFTY AGENT SMITHS walk into the kitchen, NEO takes a nervous kung fu stance] AGENT SMITHS: Relax, MR ANDERSON, we're on your side, this time. [AGENT SMITHS smile and all put on white top hats ((Directors note: EXCELLENT!!!))] NEO: Whoa.
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May 2, 2017 22:03
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oh fuuuuuck this is gonna rule |
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May 2, 2017 22:04
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neo is emptying out his desk into cardboard boxes while the two stands awkwardly at the door waiting for him to finish neo: so anyway, it's a nice group of people. i'm sure you'll fit right in... tt: yeah... seems nice... neo: basically the matrix is just a simulation, like this spoon *neo pulls a spoon out of a drawer and gets a little teary eyed looking at it* it isn't real, just a simulation tt: uh huh... neo: sorry, i'm sure this was all in your employee training. oh, one thing to know, the matrix can be a little glitchy at times, like, if you get de ja vu? it's a glitch in the matrix. tt: actually, they fixed all the glitches. the matrix is good now. we don't even fight the matrix anymore, we make apps now. |
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May 2, 2017 22:16
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Neo: Oracle, why are you white now? The Oracle: Black people don't focus test well in 2017. Neo: Woah. |
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May 2, 2017 22:27
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Costanza: "These bowls of synthesized gruel are making me thirsty!!" |
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May 2, 2017 23:56
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Smith 2.0: What good is a text message...if you're unable to type? (TT let's out a millennial scream of anguish as his thumbs suddenly vanish) |
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May 2, 2017 23:57
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Neo: (played by an ancient-looking, grizzled Keanu Reeves) I'll let you tag along, kid...as long as you don't get in the way. Wot: (played by Shia LaBeouf) G-gosh, mister, I'll sure try! (Wot immediately trips and knocks over a desk, comically spraying office supplies everywhere and destroying the only hardline in a 500-mile radius) Wot: Owww...It's ok, I can pay for that! (Wot tries to get up and falls down again. Neo sighs and shakes his head) |
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May 3, 2017 00:10
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NEO: You see, none of this is real, we are all in a computer simulation. TT: Whoa The Architect sits on his chair looking more and more uncomfortable. ARCHITECT: Actually, it is real, we kinda just drugged you to play a prank, it went a little bit too far, sorry. He pushes one of the monitors away and reveals that it's just NEO's apartment filled with monitors. TT: Whoa Fredrik1 fucked around with this message at 06:15 on May 3, 2017 |
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May 3, 2017 06:13
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Two skids to a halt and steps off his laser bike. Neo shoots him an unexpressive face of approval. But suddenly....? *fog starts appearing out of nowhere* TT: Could it be...? A figure begins to emerge. Neo: I hope you know kung fu. The music does a laser crescendo as the man comes out swinging... BAH GOD ITS XANDER CAGE, IT'S THE RETURN OF THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE |
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May 3, 2017 09:16
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google THIS posted:Neo: (played by an ancient-looking, grizzled Keanu Reeves) I'll let you tag along, kid...as long as you don't get in the way. I nominate google THIS as casting director.
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May 3, 2017 14:22
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May 3, 2017 15:50
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Cyber-bully 1: "Neo? More like Ne-OLD!!" Cyber-bully 2: "Haha yeah what a Neoerd hahahaha" *As Cyber-bully 1 moves to pull a wedgie on Neo, he makes his slow-mo bullet dodge move but it just gives the bully more purchase on his black leather undies* Neo: "Help me Morpheus!" Cyber-bully 1: "Are you friends with this guy Morpheus?" Morpheus: "What? Uhh no, this dork? No way! Uhh nice cell phone loser!" |
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May 3, 2017 21:16
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*In a scene showing the origin of The Two* Morpheus, right and left hands extended- blue pill in one, red pill in the other MORP: If you take the blue pill... you.. HEY YOU CAN'T TAKE BOTH! The Two quickly stuffs both pills into his mouth and swallows TT: Saaaahhrry I got noivous and both of thems! Rolls up sleeves and makes a fist shaking MORP: Whyyy I ougtta!!! |
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May 3, 2017 22:15
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:06 |
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[NEO is being chased through the streets by a giant ARCHITECT] NEO: Hey, um, ship guy, I need a way out, pronto! [Cut to the ship NIMROD] TANK I THINK HIS NAME WAS?: Ok, I'm setting up an escape for you on the... nearest...uh...pay....phone...
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May 3, 2017 22:39
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