Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.


Return Of JimmyJars posted:



love 2 get my dick jerked at barfy foot massage


Wanna kick the schadenfreude up a notch?

Roughly 20% of Rubmaps Users posted:

Look, my username is a part of who I am. Why wouldn't I use it for both Rubmaps and my unfortunate dating website profiles?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Senior Management
Jul 3, 2011





There is a weird house shaped building that says spa. I drive past it all the time but only once have I ever seen anyone there. A bunch of men in their 50s with tucked in shirts and shorts got out of a car together and went inside. I can only assume that this place is some sort of handjob palace. But it is near a really good bbq stand so I see it a lot.

BIG DICK BOBBY
Mar 24, 2017

by Nyc_Tattoo


I just have one of the ladies all lined up for my huge dong rub one out for me for free. They love the package it's great

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


Mustached5thGrader posted:

a dark period when in Arizona.

Redundant

Superior Bastard
Jun 5, 2004

I wanna be on you.

Return Of JimmyJars posted:

You can't get the experience of going down on a harry korean slave woman who's taken 60 cocks in the last 24 hours with your girlfriend.

Perfectly seasoned.

Drive-Thru Salad Bar
May 15, 2009

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!


Mmmm that's good bulgogi!

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless


lemonslol posted:

Can I see Smiles salon in Philadelphia? My wife got me a gift card there and I went and it was the most creepy dingy thing in the world.

SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet


:emptyquote:


http://www.citypages.com/music/the-wet-spot-the-truth-about-asian-massage-parlors-6629948


quote:

"What would make cops suspicious of this Asian massage parlor instead of all the others?"

A few days later, I found an ad in a local magazine for Planet Shikoku that answered my question. Word-for-word, here's what it said:

Men are from Mars!
Women are from Venus,
We understand that sometimes, 
It's all about the Penis!

But there's NO UNHAPPY ENDINGS here,
Because we don't do anything wrong,
We will stroke your ego,
Not your ding dong!

Enjoy our tender loving care,
You can completely relax,
Have fun and never worry,
There are NO sex acts!
Don't be shy, no need to hide,
No need to cover or to camouflage,
Just remember, the better you behave,
The better we massage!

Now introducing the THAI BUTTERFLY massage!
(A special treat for our best behaving clients!)

Way to ruin it for everyone, Planet Shikoku.




Any reviews for here? Might be too old

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless


SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet


:emptyquote:


What's the closest one to the U.S. Congress

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless


SeXReX posted:

What's the closest one to the U.S. Congress

For some reason the search doesn't work when you select DC. :tinfoil:

Oscar Wild
Apr 11, 2006

It's good to be a G

SeXReX posted:

What's the closest one to the U.S. Congress

1600 Pennsylvania. There's this small closet there.

Bea Nanner
Oct 20, 2003

Je suis excité!


myDad posted:

Her looks it pretty average, and her massage is also not a big deal, but her HJ deserves to be recorded and shown to all providers who sucked at it. It's like she has a degree on jerking man

vyst
Aug 25, 2009





I wonder if you can get a masters in jerking.

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless


vyst posted:

I wonder if you can get a masters in jerking.

10,000 hours (4000 to the mamasan) and you can be a master at anything!

Space Taxi
Oct 31, 2016


In that case every guy has a phd.

Ruggan
Feb 20, 2007
WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!




Anything near 53593? Couple places in mind that I've been suspicious of...

BONGHITZ
Jan 1, 1970

how can i listen to my pirated albums? oh wait.





Mustached5thGrader posted:

I used this site once during a dark period when in Arizona. Was disappointed when my masseuse ended up being some old Asian and thought, well, I'll just get a reasonable normal massage since I'm already here.

Still ended up getting hard and she went right for my cock and jerked me off. She asked how much extra I was paying. I offered $20 but she wouldn't let me leave until I paid another $60.

Did you leave a review?

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Why were you even surprised since more often than not the reviews posted (here at least) tend toward the 40-50 year old range?

Bean Bandit
Jan 25, 2003



https://m.eccie.net/forumdisplay.php?f=626

In Dallas guys are rawdogging the middle aged Asian whores. RIP.

putrid aidsman
Apr 13, 2017

by Lowtax


Bean Bandit posted:

https://m.eccie.net/forumdisplay.php?f=626

In Dallas guys are rawdogging the middle aged Asian whores. RIP.

quote:

Activities: LFK, DFK, TS,BBBJ,69, Breast Worship, Nuru, Mish, CG, K9, ACG

?????

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


Return Of JimmyJars posted:

10,000 hours (4000 to the mamasan) and you can be a master at anything!

pretty sure this makes me a master of jacking off

Dreddout fucked around with this message at 21:56 on May 10, 2017

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless


Bean Bandit posted:

https://m.eccie.net/forumdisplay.php?f=626

In Dallas guys are rawdogging the middle aged Asian whores. RIP.

Friend of mine works intake at a county hospital. He said 90% of the asian massage parlor girls that come in after a suicide attempt are HIV positive or have outright full blown AIDS.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Space Taxi
Oct 31, 2016


90% of the suicidal asian massage girls. I only rawdog the happy ones.

  • Locked thread