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I rent a condo that's been the tragic victim of multiple trendy renovations and has so many different types and colors of granite that I lost count at eight. Seafoam granite bathroom walls with pink and pure-black granite details, pink-shot black granite vanities, olive-shot black kitchen counters with mica, chessboard black-and-white entryway flooring with complementary white-and-black flecks, a beige-and-gray large-grain fireplace, and a truly repulsive rust-and-olive doorstop in the entryway that we actually removed just for its sheer ugliness. The dark kitchen counters are so gross they cause me physical pain, and combined with a high bar-style countertop separating the kitchen from the rest of the living space, the whole mess makes an uncomfortable and poorly-lit food prep space that will never, ever look good. The floor is cherry-wood and the counters are mid-grade oak finish. The crown molding is Federal-ish and the windows and doors are flat glass with weird fluted trim plus Southwest-style medallion corner accents. The fireplace is Art Deco. There is track lighting and recessed lighting and inset crown-molding lighting and a contemporary chandelier that we mostly disassembled and tied to the ceiling in shame. All the fixtures are brushed stainless steel. It's such a mess I can't gently caress it up any worse, so it's actually kind of relaxing to live in. "Does this giant cardboard triceratops head look silly beside the 1880s cherry drop-leaf table and the Ikea lamps?" "Who cares, everything clashes anyway."
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May 12, 2017 23:28
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The problem with wet rooms is that I like wearing fluffy slipper socks and a bathrobe after I finish a shower, which means I have to UGH GET DRESSED and/or take off my socks to pee on the weekends when there's no reason to rush out the door after a scrub.
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May 14, 2017 19:05
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Holy poo poo that removable wallpaper makes me want to get two extra jobs so I can afford to cover my entire house in the stuff
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May 15, 2017 22:01
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Oh wow, that's gorgeous. Do you remember the maker?
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Jun 8, 2017 01:45
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I had that exact dolphin print on the cover of a spiral notebook when I was thirteen and it was so ridiculous even then that I cringed every time I had to pull it out.
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Jul 10, 2017 05:53
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Yeah, I kinda like it better with the full description. I can paint over dolphins.
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Jul 10, 2017 17:12
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Do you see anything... strange about this listing? Seriously the first few pics are bland as hell, then you see the interior and it's just unsettling. And then you start to see... those. It's an entire horror movie in a slideshow format on a real estate site. The loving trike, okay
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Jul 17, 2017 18:10
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"Unfortunately," writes the realtor, surveying the master bedroom, "the art goes with the artist." Pro tip: go back to the second picture and see if you noticed that guy by the gate the first time.
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Jul 17, 2017 18:54
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I thought it was a dresser, for a few beautiful innocent moments
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Aug 10, 2017 04:38
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I just sent that John Randal McDonald link to my husband and he texted me back asking if I was trying to seduce him
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Sep 9, 2017 05:07
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quote:I, too, enjoy unremitting lidless eye contact with thirty of myself while taking a poo poo.
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Oct 17, 2017 16:36
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Speaking as a breastfeeding mother of a six-month-old whose husband is addicted to craigslist MCM end tables and doesn’t remember to take out the trash: make sure that you’re doing the chores first. My husband loves to start important but low-priority tasks like fixing a door track on the pantry or replacing the eroded seal on the back window frame, but doesn’t notice the dishes piling up or the pink mildew growing in the tub or the complete lack of breakfast foods, so I either have to manage all the scheduling and initiative for the chores while trying not to nag, do them myself during the eighteen minutes a day my kid doesn’t need me, or just smell the trash all day while he charts out a new floor plan for the living room. Give her midmorning naps. The hours of 0800-1000 contain the most precious, blessed potential for sleep. She needs it bad.
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Mar 14, 2018 07:45
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Seconding the intermittent maid service. I almost cried when I saw my wonderful clean house, all without having to sacrifice yet MORE sleep.
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Mar 14, 2018 18:31
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What in the WHOLE gently caress Is that painted rock in two colors with a mural, red tile, an unpainted rustic hearth to contrast with the black-painted traditional hearth across the room, and a cigar box native profile on top
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May 14, 2018 03:29
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Fireplace, waterplace. Why not.
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May 14, 2018 06:59
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My most secret and shameful sexual fantasy is a range hood vent that actually does its loving job hnnnnggghhhffffghh
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May 18, 2018 05:42
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bradzilla posted:how many females have used the epic sunken bathtub Lots of em. Like... five. Or nine. They’re from Canada though, you wouldn’t know them.
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Jun 11, 2018 22:04
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I keep an open box of baking soda by the stove for accidents
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Jul 6, 2018 01:36
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Turkey frying is so dangerous, William Shatner himself made a PSA about it after nearly torching his entire body one fateful thanksgiving. It’s just as graceful and subtle as you imagine.
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Jul 6, 2018 03:50
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I love my cat but I’m so paranoid about cat piss stank that I keep his litter box out on the balcony and just leave the door open all summer. In the winter I move it into the bathroom, blast the fan 24/7, and clean the box obsessively. Get the good litter, it’s worth the price. Wash the litterbox every time you change the litter; scoop the litter at MINIMUM once a day and preferably every time you take a piss, before you wash your hands. Use dogshit baggies for what you scoop, tie it off, and make sure it goes out with the daily trash before you go to bed. It’s possible to avoid cat piss stank but you have to be diligent and deliberate about it. You won’t notice if your house starts to reek, so don’t rely on your own nose. Make a pact with a non-cat-having friend that they’ll tell you if you or your poo poo ever starts to smell bad. And be rigorous about cat box hygiene even if you THINK it doesn’t smell. The best decor is fresh air imo
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Jul 29, 2018 21:16
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My husband pointed out that even the “unedited” photos are still laden with HDR. You’re not gonna get bright, detailed exterior views AND bright, detailed interior views without some compositing work. Unless it’s a render.
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Feb 28, 2019 15:01
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MikeJF posted:My phone'll take a few photos at multiple exposures and autocomposite, and a lot of phones do fancy software tricks these days. I mean, I don’t think it’s a render, it would be agonizingly difficult to make a render with that many lovely little imprecise details. It’s just that we haven’t yet seen a photo that wasn’t heavily fixed up. I bet that bathroom is so dim and confusingly lit, it looks like a basement in Morrowind.
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Feb 28, 2019 17:09
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 06:55 |
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CodfishCartographer posted:He did post "unedited" pics eventually: Yeah, no, I mean those are still heavily edited with in-camera HDR at a bare minimum
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Feb 28, 2019 17:41
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