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I don't even think you can give a baby dole whip okay
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May 12, 2017 22:39
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*names baby a racial slur to trigger libs*
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May 12, 2017 22:40
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*plays WoW all day with his wife in a dirty, dilapidated trailer* *CPS eventually takes his kid away* *Five months later* Hey babe, didn't we have a kid or something?
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May 12, 2017 22:40
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*Cries to his kids about how the original Ninja Turtles cartoon was better and not just some "bullshit to sell toys"*
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May 12, 2017 22:46
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I named my kid John. We know a Dillayn (Dylan) and a kid named Artis (pronounced Ar-Tees).
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May 12, 2017 22:48
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*one day reads a blog about the nutritional benefits of infant belly button lint* *decides this can't be any more crazy than those people eating placenta* *has a taste* *has another taste* *has bb roll on the floor and in piles of laundry so as to produce more lint* *every day demand more lint from bb to satisfy yr craving for nutritional benefits* *keeps this a secret as u feel others wouldn't understand until one day yr having a bb play date and notice yr friend giving their child raspberries on their bb belly* *confess yr new love of bb belly button lint to yr raspberry friend* *the courts award yr child to raspberry friend for reporting u to the police and u end up dying of bb belly button lint withdrawals* *raspberry friend now has 2 supplies of bb lint*
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May 12, 2017 22:49
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May 12, 2017 22:50
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Tato posted:*plays WoW all day with his wife in a dirty, dilapidated trailer*
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May 12, 2017 22:51
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*sincerely hopes daughter grows up as much like a Female Vidya Game Protagonist as possible, or maybe Rey from star wars* Seriously, 'my dream daughter' has replaced 'my dream girlfriend' as the archetype in films and stuff 
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May 12, 2017 22:56
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*teaches baby to kill for clean water and gas*
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May 12, 2017 22:59
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*doesnt realize he's a millennial* *whines about slightly younger millennials in 30th consecutive GBS thread*
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May 12, 2017 23:28
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*Understands the definition of millennial is so broad it apples to anyone born within a 25 year span* *Somehow can't understand that all members of a group might not be the same, while at the same time being a member of that group and criticizing other members of that group who are in turn criticizing other members of the group*
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May 13, 2017 00:14
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*corrects people on internet instead of raising the child* *astounded when their neglected teenager becomes a neonazi*
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May 13, 2017 00:20
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Dely Apple posted:If every thing on Lakynns first trip to Disneyland at 3 months isn't right and perfect and blessed it will be a huge embarrassing situation on social media!! *Tries to sue Disneyland when it rains on that day, after spending a hour screaming at the teenaged attendant about how they will do so.* *Seems genuinely unaware(&) of the irony of calling other people "rude" when they try to respond.* & = Egotistical and self-serving to the point of solipsism. Sic Semper Goon fucked around with this message at 03:47 on May 13, 2017 |
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May 13, 2017 03:45
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Tato posted:*plays WoW all day with his wife in a dirty, dilapidated trailer* *Posts in E/N about suing the state.* https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3499987
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May 13, 2017 03:46
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Im a millennial and lmao if you think children can survive in the cyberpunk dystopia that is the post-boomer age
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May 13, 2017 03:56
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We will perfect the methods of uploading consciousness into a computer and then watch as our bodies are harvested to make the boomer lich kings immortal in their final act of ensuring that the world indeed revolves around them once and for all
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May 13, 2017 03:58
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*leaves kid with grandmother, goes to third part-time job*
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May 13, 2017 03:58
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Infant's first toy: iPad
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May 13, 2017 04:21
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*tolerates gluten until scene can be made
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May 13, 2017 04:28
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Infant's first tattoo: iPad
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May 13, 2017 04:30
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*has a hover board*
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May 13, 2017 04:30
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I don't know why this thread is still open, forums user Dollas summed it up completely.
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May 13, 2017 04:42
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i need to go for a drive
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May 13, 2017 04:45
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CassandraZara posted:I don't know why this thread is still open, forums user Dollas summed it up completely.
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May 13, 2017 04:50
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*changes baby's diaper*
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May 13, 2017 04:54
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*can't teach kid to drive because they never got their own license*
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May 13, 2017 04:58
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i never loved you. i thought i did. and maybe i did, once. were different people now. ive done a lot of things i regret. i thought things would turn out differently. thats life, isnt it. we dont always get what we want. ill always care about you
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May 13, 2017 05:32
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Orkin Mang posted:i never loved you. i thought i did. and maybe i did, once. were different people now. ive done a lot of things i regret. i thought things would turn out differently. thats life, isnt it. we dont always get what we want. ill always care about you You've outlived your usefulness, and I certainly knew that this marriage was a means to an end, that has served its purpose. Goodbye.
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May 13, 2017 05:44
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*powers down*
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May 13, 2017 05:45
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Orkin Mang posted:i never loved you. i thought i did. and maybe i did, once. were different people now. ive done a lot of things i regret. i thought things would turn out differently. thats life, isnt it. we dont always get what we want. ill always care about you Well you've managed to post my worst loving fear and now you have a lot of leverage on me and I'm legit scared hope this helps
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May 13, 2017 06:00
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Bobcats posted:Well you've managed to post my worst loving fear and now you have a lot of leverage on me and I'm legit scared hope this helps milenials say stuff like 'legit' and 'hundred percent' (means they agree)
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May 13, 2017 06:02
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Orkin Mang posted:milenials say stuff like 'legit' and 'hundred percent' (means they agree) They also use half-words like "adorb" and "whatev", which confused me on my infrequent expeditions outside my goon hovel.
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May 13, 2017 06:09
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*watches baby web cam all day while in the same room as baby*
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May 13, 2017 06:09
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CassandraZara posted:I don't know why this thread is still open, forums user Dollas summed it up completely. Who? How?
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May 13, 2017 06:29
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Vlogs about it constantly using newfound parenthood as an excuse to feed into their excessive materialism.
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May 13, 2017 08:09
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Tato posted:*plays WoW all day with his wife in a dirty, dilapidated trailer* You missed the "posts on SA for advice" part
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May 13, 2017 08:15
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Set out to raise children gender neutral, and are frustrated and angered when they gravitate to the toys normally associated with their gender anyway.
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May 13, 2017 08:31
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spud posted:You missed the "posts on SA for advice" part Scroll up, stupid.
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May 13, 2017 08:33
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 08:32 |
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*puts a 3 year old on hormones*
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May 13, 2017 08:35
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