Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



____________________________


BACKLASH May 21st!

WWE Championship Match
Randy Orton(c) vs. Jinder Mahal w/ The Bollywood Boyz

WWE US Championship Match
Kevin Owens(c) vs. AJ Styles

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Dolph Ziggler

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match
The Usos(c) vs. Breezango

Charlotte, Naomi, & Becky Lynch vs. Natalya, Tamina Snuka, & Carmella

____________________________


NXT TAKEOVER CHICAGO MAY 20TH!

NXT Title Match
Bobby Roode(c) vs. Hideo Itami

NXT Tag Team Title Ladder Match
Authors of Pain(c) vs. #DIY

NXT Women's Title Triple Threat Match
Asuka(c) vs. Nikki Cross vs. Ruby Riot

WWE UK Title Match
Tyler Bate(c) vs. Pete Dunne

Maybe a match feature Drew McIntyre, Kassius Ohno, Aliester Black, Roderick Strong, Andrade Almas, SAnitY, Trent Seven, or Mark Andrews. Who knows really.

Also there is a WWE UK Special on Friday, May 19, at 3pm EST, with a re-airing in primetime at 8pm EST:siren:

____________________________


Extreme Rules on June 4th

WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender Fatal Five Way Extreme Rules Match
Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Match
The Hardy Boyz(c) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro

WWE Raw Women's Championship Kendo Stick on a Pole Match
Alexa Bliss(c) vs. Bayley

WWE Intercontinental Title Match, If Dean Gets DQed He Loses the Title
Dean Ambrose(c) vs. The Miz w/ Maryse

WWE Cruiserweight Title Match
Neville(c) vs. Austin Aries

____________________________

Raw Results

Raw opens with Kurt Angle announcing that Braun Strowman was injured from Roman Reigns attack last week and Braun was going to be the next contender for the Universal title. Kurt Angle announces that there will be a fatal five way at extreme rules to determine the next #1 contender. It will be Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins. Roman comes out to big boos and talks about how he destroyed Braun Strowman, faced Brock Lesnar before, and that he dethroned Undertaker and took over his yard. Roman says he IS the #1 contender. Finn comes out says he was never beaten for the title and is its rightful holder and challenger. Speaking of never beaten, Finn says that he's never been beaten by Roman because Finn's first night on Raw had him beat Roman. Samoa Joe comes out and talks about how everything he does has results. He debuts on Raw, he injures Seth Rollins, he faces Rollins again and he chokes him out, he becomes number 1 contender, he beats Brock Lesnar. Bray Wyatt appears and says that The Beast is coming. He says they are all scared, but not him. Seth Rollins comes out and I don't remember if he said anything to be honest. They all brawled and it ended with Finn standing tall.

Roman, Seth, and Finn were arguing backstage and Kurt Angle broke up the arguing because they settle arguments in the ring on Raw. It's Roman vs. Finn tonight as well as Seth vs. Bray Wyatt.

Jeff Hardy defeats Sheamus.

Alicia Fox defeats Sasha Banks?!?

Miz defeats Dean Ambrose via DQ in the Intercontinental Title match. Miz went to low blow Dean behind the referee's back and Dean caught it then kicked Miz in the dick in revenge.

Finn is interviewed about stepping into the Big Dog's Yard tonight. He's ready or something. This made me remember they haven't talked about him being the Demon King in forever right?

Alexa Bliss comes out and clowns on the crowd for a bit. She says she beats everyone she can because she said she would before hand. Bayley comes out and says she has her rematch at Extreme Rules. Alexa says that she has no idea what extreme rules even means. It means no friends helping and no crying like the little girl she is. Bayley dropkicks Alexa out of the ring. Alexa grabs a kendo stick and hits Bayley once making her cry in pain.

Sami Zayn called Kurt Angle on the phone and was talking his ear off. Miz came into his office holding his dick and wanted a match against Dean Ambrose at Extreme Rules but if Ambrose got DQ'd he'd lose the title because that's what Extreme Rules is all about. Maryse and Kurt Angle started yelling at each other in French then the Drifter came in and played a song. Angle asked if he need anything, but he just drifted away.

TJP and Neville defeated Jack "Gentleman" Gallagher and Austin Aries.

Bayley was in the trainers room getting a ice pack on her back. Angle walked in and said Kendo sticks are no joke and that he doesn't want her to have her rematch. Bayley says she's ready to get extreme on Alexa after all the insults and the abuse from her. Kurt makes their match at Extreme Rules a Kendo Stick on a Pole match.

R-Truth was depressed backstage and Goldust wanted to cheer him up. Even though they didn't win Tag Team Turmoil last week they were still a good team and best friends. Tonight its them vs. Gallows and Anderson so one of them is gonna turn heel.

Roman Reigns defeats Finn Balor, it was a fun match. Bray Wyatt cuts a promo right after the match about how only he can slay the Beast Brock Lesnar as any mere mortal will cower away and run.

Seth Rollins cuts a dude promo about not being afraid of Brock, Joe, Wyatt, a bad knee, Triple H, or Stephanie McMahon. He mocks Wyatt saying "I'm Here" whenever he shows up because Seth doesn't need to do that. Seth vs. Bray still tonight.

Golden Truth come out and get to the ring until Goldust attacks R-Truth.

WWE hypes up INJUSTICE 2!!!! It's out now on PS4 and Xbox One and Moblie too i guess.

Enzo and Cass are interrupted by Titus O'Neil and a sort of reluctant Apollo Crews. Titus is mocking Enzo and Cass's intro. Titus says that Apollo is gonna beat Enzo tonight. Cass breaks the news that its Cass vs. Titus. Titus is saying that can't be because he's wearing a suit. Cass calls him SAWFT.

Big Cass defeats Titus O'Neil. Titus had the upper hand when he wanted to take his suit off and wants to hit Cass with his belt, but Enzo distracts him allowing Titus to eat a big boot and be pinned. After the match Enzo steals Titus' phone and takes a selfie which Apollo hates and knocks Enzo out with an enzugiri to boos.

TJP and Neville are talking in hushed whispers backstage. Neville wants TJP to injure Aries permanently on 205 Live. TJP shows some doubt.

Seth Rollins defeats Bray Wyatt by DQ when Samoa Joe attacks Seth Rollins during Seth's match against Bray Wyatt. Bray and Joe have a stare down but both attack Seth until Bray betrays Joe and hits the Sister Abigail on him. Bray hits a Sister Abigail on Seth Rollins as well. Bray then announces he mains Scarecrow in Injustice 2 to end Raw.

____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • US Champion Kevin Owens - the Face of America - bragged about beating Jericho so badly that he will never, ever, ever, EVAH be seen again. He introduced his guest in French (because he can) but AJ Styles came out wanting a fight first, until Jinder showed up complaining about AJ taking up HIS time on Owens' show.

  • Jinder Mahal defeated AJ Styles after a lengthy match when Kevin Owens hit AJ's leg from behind with the US Title while the Bollywood Boys were distracting the referee. AJ seemed to have had the match won up until Owens' attack.

  • The Fashion Police featured in a new Fashion Files (Fashionable Intent) skit, Tyler Breeze showed off his undercover skills by dressing as a Hulk Hogan janitor. Breeze started freaking out about facing the Usos for the tag titles because their hair is so well-conditioned, but Fandango assured him that they would win the tag titles. They ended on a (faked) freeze frame high five.

  • Backstage, Orton assured Renee Young that he didn't dislike Jinder because of his race, but because he's an rear end.

  • The Fashion Police defeated The Colons. Afterwards, the Usos came out to mock the Fashion Police for trying to be comedians, claiming that the "cops" were now in the Uso Penitentiary. They read them their "rights", while Breezango looked on in utter bewilderment.

  • Shane McMahon introduced a contract signing between Naomi, Becky and Charlotte vs Nattie's Welcoming Committee for Backlash. After the poo poo-talking back and forth, everybody signed and Shane tried to wrap it up. Except James Ellsworth got on the mic to loudly inform Becky, Charlotte and Naomi that he knew they all wanted him but he wasn't interested. He drove Naomi mad and she took a shot at him but got slammed into a table by Carmella. Shane called for a match between Naomi and Carmella immediately.

  • Ellsworth was ejected from ringside by the referee, and later Nattie and Tamina were too after trying to get involved. Charlotte and Becky mocked them leaving so they rushed back and blindsided them, and in the confusion Naomi was pinned by Carmella.

  • Ziggler did a backstage promo saying he never got the hype for Shinsuke Nakamura and demonstrated a video package of everything Nakamura has done in Smackdown (nothing) and then one of everything he had done. The video package ended with him attacking Shinsuke and very carefully edited out Nakamura recovering and beat him up.

  • Sami Zayn was interviewed where he announced he had requested and been granted a match against Baron Corbin at Backlash. While claiming that he was a threat to Corbin's ego, he was blindsided by Corbin who warned him to stay down and not show up to the PPV, or he'd be put down permanently.

  • Randy Orton won a surprisingly equal and lengthy back-and-forth match with Baron Corbin, finally hitting an RKO out of nowhere to put down Corbin. Jinder came out post-match and distracted Orton on the mic while the Singh Brothers (the Bollywood Boys) attacked him from behind. Orton fought them off and blocked an attack by Jinder, but while trying to hit the Singhs with the draping DDT he was jumped from behind by Jinder who beat on him while the Singhs held him in place.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 09:26 on May 17, 2017

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Congratulations Roman Reigns

ICR
Dec 31, 2008

Love that they use the Finn has never lost to Roman angle in the beginning of the show only for Finn to lose to Roman.


Vince: oh snap, didn't realize that. Roman, go beat him clean tonight.

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU

SUN GOD AVATAR posted:

Love that they use the Finn has never lost to Roman angle in the beginning of the show only for Finn to lose to Roman.


Vince: oh snap, didn't realize that. Roman, go beat him clean tonight.

tune in every week or you just might miss history in the making

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


Finn just needs to lose a few more times so he can be just as hot as Gallows and Anderson so we can get the proper WWE version of a lukewarm Bullet Club

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Alexa Bliss is the best heel in the wwe right now.

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

The only part of the main event angle that was given any specific, inarguable progression was Roman Reigns being better than Finn Balor.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
was the alexa bit before the start of hour 2 because i think thats when i'm tapping out of the west coast broadcast

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Raskolnikov38 posted:

was the alexa bit before the start of hour 2 because i think thats when i'm tapping out of the west coast broadcast

i dont know

Okuteru
Nov 10, 2007

Choose this life you're on your own
Did anyone catch the Glow trailer? Looks pretty good.

rovert
Jun 10, 2013

DoctorGonzo posted:

Alexa Bliss is the best heel in the wwe right now.

https://twitter.com/AlexaBliss_WWE/status/864317299917979649

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
That Finn/Roman booking really fucks me off because if they actually knew what they were doing, Roman/Finn would be such a great feud.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Forceholy posted:

Did anyone catch the Glow trailer? Looks pretty good.

Yep. For those who didn't,

https://twitter.com/netflix/status/864126178130579457

Open Marriage Night
Sep 18, 2009

"Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"


VJeff posted:

That Finn/Roman booking really fucks me off because if they actually knew what they were doing, Roman/Finn would be such a great feud.

Roman hasn't beaten the demon yet, so there's still hope.

The_Rob
Feb 1, 2007

Blah blah blah blah!!

Open Marriage Night posted:

Roman hasn't beaten the demon yet, so there's still hope.

I think they don't give a poo poo about Finn and are willing to completely feed him to Roman.

Trip Larsen
Oct 4, 2006

My great-grandfather started Larsen Pork Products with little more than three pigs and a killing hammer. Today, I'm proud to say, we kill more pigs than pig hepatitis.

Open Marriage Night posted:

Roman hasn't beaten the demon yet, so there's still hope.
Finn will win the Fatal Fiveway as The Demon (no way he pins Roman), and GREAT BALLS OF FIRE will be headlined by THE DEMON VS THE BEAST, and Brock will win in 2 minutes or less.

Oh Snapple!
Dec 27, 2005

The_Rob posted:

I think they don't give a poo poo about Finn and are willing to completely feed him to Roman.

like ambrose, he's going to be viewed as a reliable main event slot-in for the next time Roman pisses hot.

That's essentially the ceiling on Raw.

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

why is bayley extreme now

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


I'm less upset at Roman beating Finn than I am at the fact they threw it away with no build on just a random Raw. Why don't you at least build it up for a PPV show or a few Raws down the road....

They really should starting using some more Multi Man tags for Raw to get people finishes without giving away big time single matches

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

Finn Balor lost all the time without makeup why are you upset that Roman Reigns, the top guy in the promotion does it as well?

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.
Finn has been pushed hard since his debut but yeah a loss against the top guy in the promotion means he is buried buried buried for sure and will never be pushed again.

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

SUN GOD AVATAR posted:

Love that they use the Finn has never lost to Roman angle in the beginning of the show only for Finn to lose to Roman.


Vince: oh snap, didn't realize that. Roman, go beat him clean tonight.

lol 'member when Roman called Finn a "kid"

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
I'm less upset about the Finn booking than I am about Bray loving Wyatt still main-eventing. He's reached Ziggler levels of "go away heat" with me.

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


Having Bray punk you at the end of the night is only a good sign for a career!

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008
People are mad because WWE can't build anything up for a better pay off. Roman and Finn's reactions tonight were polar opposites and they could have made it their main program on Raw.

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

SatoshiMiwa posted:

Having Bray punk you at the end of the night is only a good sign for a career!

It just means you're going to beat him at the next ppv.

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle
i could get into one last goldust heel run. he plays a good heel, and i could see him getting into the ic belt mix pretty easily. better to do one high profile thing and retire than languish in once-monthly comedy jobber bits and have it announced on the website one day.

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

Goldust is still very good and can go just about as long as he wants to tbh.

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



goldust has an unholy pact with the devil so he is effectively deathless

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer


The_Rob posted:

I think they don't give a poo poo about Finn and are willing to completely feed him to Roman.

They're willing to feed everyone to Roman because the only long-term plan they have for this entire loving roster is "make Roman look STRONG!!!"

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

shiksa posted:

i could get into one last goldust heel run. he plays a good heel, and i could see him getting into the ic belt mix pretty easily. better to do one high profile thing and retire than languish in once-monthly comedy jobber bits and have it announced on the website one day.
Bringing back and wrapping up GTV would make me so happy.

It's a great fit for his character to become a power player by using secret filming to pull people's strings- it's a very weird, invasive, old-Hollywood idea of wielding power. (The fact that GTV was actually intended to be Tom Green and Vince pulled it because he finally watched Tom Green is the most :psyduck: poo poo.) And now leaked footage is a common real-life phenomenon that causes actual problems in the WWE, and there's a million cool turns you could do with the angle.

Too bad it's never going to happen~

DEAR RICHARD
Feb 5, 2009

IT'S TIME FOR MY TOOLS
was raw worth watching?

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
No

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!
I keep DVR'ing RAW when I have to work and then I read the results and immediately delete it because it looks so loving bad.

Korelle
Sep 18, 2010

Ostentatious posted:

Finn Balor lost all the time without makeup why are you upset that Roman Reigns, the top guy in the promotion does it as well?

Because Roman Reigns is loving awful, it's not hard.

Ruggington
Apr 21, 2012

bow wow

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

Korelle posted:

Because Roman Reigns is loving awful, it's not hard.

Roman Reigns is good

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

Ostentatious posted:

Roman Reigns is good

Roman Reigns is bad

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

lockhq
Feb 26, 2013

DEAR RICHARD posted:

was raw worth watching?

Goldust became relevant again, so yes.

  • Locked thread