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  • Locked thread
C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


Democracy at work.

So this is the thread where you will vote in the Best Wrestling Talkers Tournament, a 32-person tournament to figure out who had the greatest gift of gab in the history of wrestling. I'll post the bracket in the OP and will update it as necessary. A friendly reminder that this thread is only for voting, not for discussion. We have a whole other thread for you to strong-arm people in and it's right here! https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3819898



BRACKET

PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY REGION

Quarters

#1 Paul Heyman (#1 Overall seed) d. #8 New Jack 33-7

#5 Arn Anderson d. #4 Terry Funk 20-19

#3 Bobby Heenan d. #6 Gene Okerlund 37-3

#2 Mick Foley d. #7 Jesse Ventura 27-13

Semis

#1 Paul Heyman d. #5 Arn Anderson 27-6

#3 Bobby Heenan d. #2 Mick Foley 27-6

Finals

#3 Bobby Heenan d. #1 Paul Heyman 19-4



BLACK SCORPION REGION

Quarters

#1 Ric Flair (#2 Overall seed) d. #8 Paul Bearer 40-0

#4 Nick Bockwinkel d. #5 Larry Sweeney 23-14

#3 Jake Roberts d. #6 William Regal 37-3

#2 Chris Jericho d. #7 John Cena 29-11

Semis

#1 Ric Flair d. #4 Nick Bockwinkel 29-4

#3 Jake Roberts d. #2 Chris Jericho 24-9

Finals

#1 Ric Flair d. #3 Jake Roberts 16-7


RINGMASTER REGION

Quarters

#1 Steve Austin (#3 Overall seed) d. #8 Hulk Hogan 33-4

#4 Vince McMahon d. #5 The Miz 24-13

#3 Roddy Piper d. #6 Jerry Lawler 27-10

#2 Dusty Rhodes d. #7 Scott Steiner 31-6

Semis

#1 Steve Austin d. #4 Vince McMahon 28-5

#2 Dusty Rhodes d. #3 Roddy Piper 25-8

Finals

#1 Steve Austin d. #2 Dusty Rhodes 17-6


FLEX KAVANA REGION

Quarters

#1 The Rock (#4 Overall seed) d. #8 Raven 34-3

#4 Randy Savage d. #5 Rick Rude 30-7

#3 Jim Cornette d. #6 Jim Ross 29-8

#2 CM Punk d. #7 Ted DiBiase 32-5

Semis

#1 The Rock d. #4 Randy Savage 17-16

#2 CM Punk d. #3 Jim Cornette 19-14

Finals

#1 The Rock d. #2 CM Punk 12-11


FINAL FOUR

#3 Bobby Heenan (Paul E. Dangerously Region Winner) d. #1 The Rock (Flex Kavana Region Winner) 20-4
#1 Ric Flair (Black Scorpion Region Winner) d. #1 Steve Austin (Ringmaster Region Winner 17-6

CHAMPIONSHIP

Bobby Heenan
Ric Flair

C. Everett Koop fucked around with this message at Jun 5, 2017 around 14:32

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C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


ROUND 0 OPENING BATTLE ROYALE

Because every good card should start with a massive battle royale clusterfuck.

We had 48 nominations, but out of those 48 only 26 were nominated multiple times. Those 26 are already into the tournament and have been seeded and placed. As I'm running a 32-person tournament on the grounds that I ain't here to do math, we need to narrow down the 22 that only received a little bit of love to 6 sacrificial lambs.

Out of the following list, vote for your top 3. The top six vote getters will be inserted into the tournament and promptly voted out.

Voting will be open until midnight Thursday 5/19 EST aka God's timezone

New Jack
Lance Russell
Scott Steiner
Pentagon Jr.
Eddie Kingston
Billy Graham
Paul Bearer
Dean Ambrose
Raven
Santino Marella
Vickie Guerrero
Ernest Miller
Eric Bischoff
Ted DiBiase
Edge
Hulk Hogan
Bray Wyatt
Enzo Amore
Renee Young
Shane Douglas
Xavier Woods

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003

Get running
Start pumping your bunions, I'm coming
I'm the dumbest, who flamethrow your function to Funyons
Flame your crew quicker than Trump fucks his youngest
Now face the flame fuckers your fame and fate's done with


Vickie Guerrero
Enzo Amore
Scott Steiner

ThePariah
Feb 10, 2014

Bad day, bad day, BAD DAY!

Scott Steiner
Raven
Edge

NotQuiteQuentin
Jan 29, 2005

BIG OVER


College Slice

Raven
Eddie Kingston
Gordon Solie

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

I call the darkness unto me from deepest depths of Earth and sea. From ancient evils unawoken, break the one that can't be broken. To blackest night, I pledge my soul and crush my heart to burning coal. To summon forth a deathly power, to see my hated foe devoured.


Ted DiBiase
Vickie Guerrero
Paul Bearer

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013

Never believe in lies

Scott Steiner
Paul bearer
Santino Marella

Evil Badman
Aug 19, 2006

I wanna talk about bird lube, NOW.


gently caress it.

Bray, Steiner and Ted DiBiase.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

We will fight them to the last. And we will defend those that cannot defend themselves. Today we fight, brothers and sisters. Today we stand up and never, ever relent. Brothers and sisters -- prepare yourselves. Today we go to WAR!


Lipstick Apathy

Bray Wyatt
Ted DiBiase
Paul Bearer

Jenkem Delivery
Feb 8, 2005

Death created time to grow the things that it would kill

Scott Steiner
Ted DiBiase
Pentagon Jr.

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Kanye West - Touch the Sky


New Jack
Hulk Hogan
Superstar Billy Graham



(i mean, Graham has to be in, he sold out MSG almost entirely because he could cut a promo)

Iron Chef Nex
Jan 20, 2005
Serving up a hot buttered stabbing

Ted DiBiase
Billy Graham
Lance Russell

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

We All Live In Kawalimus' House


Scott Steiner
Ted DiBiase
Raven

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!



Raven, New Jack, Ted DiBiase.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Billy Graham
Paul Bearer
Ted DiBiase

Perry Normal
Jul 23, 2010

Humans disgust me. Vile creatures.


Ted DiBiase
Raven
New Jack

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014



Hulk Hogan
Scott Steiner
Eddie Kingston

Little Mac
Jan 3, 2006

Super Mario Bros 3

Scott Steiner
Santino Marella
Ted DiBiase

Go RV!
Jun 19, 2008

Uglier on the inside.


Paul Bearer
Scott Steiner
Raven

Psychepath
Apr 30, 2003


Scott Steiner
Vickie Guerrero
Edge

ChrisBTY
Mar 29, 2012

this glorious monument


Enzo Amore
Bray Wyatt
Raven

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009



new jack
billy graham
hulk hogan

Dr. Ass
Apr 21, 2008



Billy Graham
Xavier Woods
Bray Wyatt

triplexpac
Mar 24, 2007

Suck it
Two tears in a bucket
And then another thing
I'm not the one they'll try their luck with
Hit hard like brass knuckles
See your face through the turnbuckle dude
I got no love for you


New Jack
Scott Steiner
Shane Douglas

Drew McIntyre
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you


Muldoon

santino marella
new jack
ernest miller

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005




Scott Steiner
Raven
Xavier Woods

Captain Magic
Apr 3, 2005

Yes, we have feathers--but the muscles of men.

Paul Bearer
Scott Steiner
Edge

Big Dave
Nov 6, 2009

Friends don't shake hands, friends gotta hug!

new jack
raven
hulk hogan

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

you're a flower. you're also a rainbow and a river. you are the manifestation of all perfection and i want to i don't fucking know, but you are fucking perfect


Santino
Paul Bearer
Scott Steiner

Fentry
Mar 7, 2003

...yeah


Scott Steiner
Ted DiBiase
Raven

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


Lance Russell
New Jack
Hulk Hogan

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Scott Steiner
Edge
Hulk Hogan

dsriggs
May 28, 2012

MONEY FALLS...

...FROM THE SKY...

...WHENEVER HE POSTS!


Lance Russell
Billy Graham
Hulk Hogan

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

tfw Dragon Lee breaks the Hiromu before you get another turn

Dean Ambrose
Raven
Scott Steiner

ShadowedFlames
Dec 26, 2009

Shoot this guy in the face.


Fallen Rib

Xavier Woods
Bray Wyatt
Ted DiBiase

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

Don't get my name wrong,
If you want to touch me there.

DiBiase
Raven
Bischoff

Skjorte
Jul 5, 2010


Raven
Santino Marella
Hulk Hogan

Vaguido
Feb 22, 2011

When the drug test comes back positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Scott Steiner
Dean Ambrose
Ted DiBiase

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

TOO EASY

Paul Bearer
Ted DiBiase
Bray Wyatt

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Price Check
Oct 9, 2012


New Jack
Scott Steiner
Enzo

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